Denial
by priscel
Summary: Duo and Solo are brothers forced to cope with a disturbed brother. They think they've survived the worse of it when they're pitted against him and their friends become the ploys of a Politician to usurp a pacifist King. AU,Dark,
1. reflections of you

Disclaimers: (wallows in disbelief) I have no right over or have ever (stays away from never) owned GundamWing nor do I profit from this fic, but the story is mine.

Warnings: POV shifts, AU (colonies, MS .. but deviations from the timeline? You'll see what I mean), Dark, some OOCness, disturbing content (backup and read that one mo'gain, just to be sure that's clear), graphic descriptions of attempted ncs and ncs (the implied, not as descriptive, will be dominant), incest, drug abuse, Duo/Solo torture (you have been warned) and uh... I dunno if I got everything...

Pairings: eventual 1x2

(hugs betas and special thanks to DSA for the invaluable input)

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

one - reflections of you

In the calm and simulated quiet of dusk, the park was the thing to do for many of this L2 cluster's residents who weren't in any class higher than working. There were no restrictions or dirty looks given by the people in the Park. No one forcing the homeless to leave or eyeing them in distaste. Kedren Park was neutral territory, a memorial to all the people who died there. Ms. Maxwell slowed her walk through the Park to kneel at a simple plaque of metal dated A.C. 183 and nearly covered by overgrown grass. In one section of the plague, was the embossed name of their old apartment.

"Our first home," she whispered, her eyes closing and a pinched expression taking over her face, as memories cam unbidden back to her. A hull breach in the basement of the complex had instantly ended it all, taking away her love . . . "Aiden," she whispered remembering how she rushed home to find that nearly the entire building had been sucked through a hull breach the size of one those blue earthen, street side mail bins. She chuckled mirthlessly at how those things still existed and closed her eyes at memory's echo of blaring alarms in her ears. The alarms had went off too late and the landlord's neglect to inform his residents of the hull damage beneath the complex meant nothing more to him then a citation and a tax writeoff, at first.

Luckily for her her oldest son, Quin, was away at school and her youngest, Solo, was in daycare a few blocks away, but little Duo was spending the day with his Pop. She smiled sadly, Pop had been Duo's first word after his brother had given some of that sugar rich, carbonated drink. And much to everyone's surprise, that's what Duo began calling his father.

She blamed herself for them being at the apartment. She had told her husband that she'd be by there to pick up her forgotten lunch, when he had suggested that they just have lunch together before she went back to work. Her fingers traced over fifty names before they stilled over one she traced countless times during her visits. She half imagined that none of it was true and that on that day he met her at the door around noon, kissing her before the demon toddler Duo and his sloppy kiss of doom latched on to her and interrupted theirs. She shook her head; her sigh became a deprecating chuckle. She remembered well what really happened. She was just coming home to have a quick lunch with them, when she noticed the flashes of light and streams of grayish smoke that went upward but curved back down in the empty sky of where their three story apartment building had been.

l

l

o O o

l

l

She slammed her company car to a halt at the corner of McCribble and Lanely. Stepping out of the car and onto shaking legs, she stared in disbelief at the empty space before her. It was nearly half a football field of damage and all along the way her eyes traced bloody smears. Her eyes lingered on the dark red pieces of skinless flesh or charred lumps of something unidentifiable that was scattered on the now bare and twisted metal of what used to be concrete and paved streets.

As if drawn in by the unnatural silence, her eyes settled on a slab of brick and glass windowpane. It was lying there, flat, straighter than everything else around it. "The epicenter of the breach," she surmised. This was had once been her home, her family's home. All that remained of the building and those surrounding it were the strewn wires sparking dangerously, the contorted sharp edges of walls pointing inward as if trying to go toward the brick slab. Jadea began to lose herself, her eyes fixed on the flickering sky. Her mind noting the smoke she had seen earlier was now thinner, but the air was still thick with the heavy scent of blood and electricity leaving a charged, coppery tang on her tongue as the smell of burnt flesh began to soak into her clothes. Coming back to herself, she could feel a faint tug, she was moving slowly closer to the five-foot slab of brick and glass, " . . . it's not completely sealed . . ., " she said in a whisper.

She walked slowly, straining her ears and too scared to utter a word in silence death had left. Her deep blue eyes scanned frantically for some sign of survivors, even though a part of her became heavy with remorse, giving up any hope of that being true. A nun from the local church run by Aiden's only remaining family, his uncle, Father Maxwell came running over. The young nun, Mrs. Maxwell recognized as Helen, clutched her rosary beads in a white knuckle grip.

"J-Jadea!" Helen called in concern after seeing Jadea nearly run into the pole on the corner of the street and then jump out her car running unsteadily toward her home. Sister Helen stumbled. 'Her home,' she thought and something eery settled over her heart that she couldn't understand at first. Then it registered in her mind that there was an emptiness that shouldn't be in front of her as her eyes trailed along Jadea's slack shoulders to the vacant and flickering simulated sky then to the remnants of what used to be in that area.

"Merciful Heavens." Helen uttered behind the hand that involuntarily came up to her trembling lips at her gasp of shock.

Jadea blinked at her name being called, wondering to herself what god would allow something like this to happen. She began to search, moving rubble for some sign of her husband and child. The air got thinner the closer she got to the breach and Helen was calling her back when she saw movement. Sitting on the glass pane over the breach, pushing himself up to sit and then trying to stand but failing, was the nearly three-year-old Duo. He plopped back down where he sat. Duo ran his hand over the glass he was sitting on, leaving a red streak that was barely discernable over the pitch black tunnel if it weren't for the sporadic glint off the metal from the colony lights and the live wires beneath. Those brief sparks of light revealed the amorphous shapes shifting below as parts of bodies and other things. Silent and covered in blood, Duo sat running a red smear across the glass and his deep violet eyes were a striking contrast to the crimson that coated him.

Jadea was close enough to notice that Duo's inability to move was not due to any injury that she could see, but because he was being held against the slab by some sort of black bar. She was seven feet away when she gasped as the bar came into view- it was a disembodied arm wearing the same long sleeve, once blue, shirt she'd seen him put on that morning with a wedding band identical to her own. Tears welded up in her eyes and her breathing increased in the thin air making her feel light headed, as she stumbled, then stilled when the sound of cracking resounded in the stagnant air.

Her eyes found it, a line slowly spreading from where the arm began and widening, almost as if it were searching . . . reaching for Duo. Sister Helen had also seen the movement of the small figure on the glass that showed inky blackness and moved forward at nearly the same time that Jadea had. They both slid to a stop, side by side a few feet away from the blocked breach to hear the metal creaking beneath their feet. They said nothing as Jadea held up her hand in a halting motion when the protesting metal groaned again as Helen took another step. Jadea could feel her heart pounding and her mind screaming at her to move as she took cautious steps toward the windowpane. Sweat dripped down the sides of her face as the metal's cry, although faint, could became louder than the emergency alarms that flashed and sounded, echoing in the emptiness that had housed over two hundred people. She shook her head at the impossibility that so many lives could be snuffed out and buildings ripped from their very foundation by a hole . . . but she knew better, the housing in that block was not up to standards, but it was shelter. It had been home.

Jadea spared the briefest of moments to touch the cooling limb of her husband as she began to pry the mangled blue fingers away from her baby. The whines of the metal grew louder with each passing minute. She cursed and apologized mentally as she continued to pull and pinch unintentionally at the locked limb, until the pressure of their time running out had her acting in desperation, Jadea yanked on the trapped limb. The possible consequences flitting through her head about what the amount of force she was using would mean, but ignoring that voice and focused on one thing. Saving. Her. Child. Finally it worked, Duo was free. Not wanting to tempt fate anymore, she snatched up her unresponsive toddler who only blinked at her and ran.

She ran, deaf to the whines of the metal underfoot, as her feet pounded on it. Once she reached Helen, she joined her running as fast as they could. They could hear the sectioning clamps release with a great hiss of air, lowering huge reinforced metal barriers to seal off this section from the rest of the colony. With a loud whirl of the clamps locking, Sister Helen and Jadea walked toward the church, breathing heavily and distantly noting the emergency crews that zipped by to check the barrier. They could see a few suited up to check for survivors.

'Survivors,' Jadea thought darkly to herself, ' . . . it's too late to rescue anyone with those doors in place. They're just wasting time . . . no one can bring them back. It did help with the population problems,' her thoughts becoming more morose as she smiled, ' the newscasters were always complaining about on TV.' Her thoughts ended abruptly as little Duo gripped her white blouse and half hid his face behind her left breast. Sister Helen, pale and speechless hadn't stopped watching little Duo from Jadea's right. Her baby murmured something; she couldn't make it out so she drew him up in her arms and closer to her ear... " ... there's only shini..." His wide, glassy violets focused on the flashing lights behind them.

Jadea stopped in her tracks and shivered, her son knew death and she looked to Sister Helen for some response. The Sister only stared numbly back, telling her she was just as shocked by what Duo said. Jadea knew it was no coincidence because Aiden would read to Duo about myths before bed and Duo was doing well at saying the words his father had taught him. No there was no mistaking that her son had said Shinigami.

l

l

o O o

l

l

"Hoohoo." Jadea was startled out of her recollection by two bright glowing eyes in the tree above her. The huge eyes surrounded by shadow blinked twice more before turning away. "HooHoo," she chuckled. "Well hello to you too Mister Owl." She laughed at herself for talking to the animal that was probably only concerned about food.

She exhaled heavily. Out of such tragedy came this: a piece of earth under artificial sky. Many of the residents had never seen living trees and animals, yes there were animals here and even though the homeless were always hungry and looking for food they didn't harm the animals here. It was neutral territory, living with its own ghosts and stories. The sounds that came from the Park and the area's history were the main reasons for moving her family to Maple Ridge apartments, a few blocks away. She was glad that the Colonial representative and the people in the upper echelons didn't try to raise rent and throw out the poor families in the area because of the Park. She believed the structural integrity was still an issue but a claim she couldn't prove without evidence.

Entering her home, she could hear the nightlife through her walls. A nightingale, this had, at first, surprised a few years back because there weren't many birds, especially none like the nightingale, on the colony. Its song always lulled her into dreams and memories from her childhood. It was an old ache, her past, that filled her questions and painful doubts. She shook her head to rid herself of their whispers. "I do not regret my decision," she whispered to herself with a huff that caused her brownish blonde bangs to flutter and tickle her nose. She smiled, putting her tote bag down and wondered how Duo could stand having his bangs in his face. She wiggled her nose when her came in contact with her nose. It was incredibly annoying not to mention it itched. Propping her bag against the armrest of their black and gray speckled couch, she pulled out the apron and the blue stripped sleeve of her waitress uniform, checking it over to reassure herself that the mayo incident at work, that gave a male customer a milky white facial, didn't require her to do any late night washing.

Relieved, she headed for their bedroom hearing the owl hooting again. A small smile graced her features as she approached her sleeping boys on cat's feet and glared at the cat that had been watching her the whole time, thwacking his tail a few times before standing, stretching and bumping against her clothed legs. The cat was protective, she tilted her head to the side slightly wondering but before the thought was formed one of her boys moved and the other sniffled moving closer to the other. She smiled down at her two boys who were huddled together like puppies. It was how they always seemed to ended up when they slept.

"I don't regret any of it." She whispered once more, bending to brush Duo's bangs from his eyes and running her finger tips lightly down Solo's chubby cheeks. A puzzled expression crossed her face making her look much younger than her forty years. She rubbed her fingers together absently, unconsciously mouthing the word 'tears.' She felt disappointed. She was missing all the little things that involved her babies and she admonished herself for not being there when he cried and not being there to comfort him. She brought herself out of her self-reproach, glad that her sons' were close and knew Duo would do anything for his little brother. She often wondered if she was a good enough mother to them, with her always working, she hardly saw them. She was thankful that she had more time than she had a few years back since Quin offered to help with the responsibility. Still, as she sat on her bed preparing to go to sleep, she wished that Quin wouldn't work so much. She didn't want him to waste away his youth like that.

tbc...

AN: So you have to be thinking what's going on? Yea, I'm working toward some sort of order and since this story's got me about ready to scream, I can't seem to delete any of it so I decided to annex it. I'm doing this in hopes of making it flow better and be clearer.

So the incidents between Quin and Duo (and is missing for those of you who are familiar with the original chapter) is in 'Denial annex'. haha really simple neh?

I'm definitely open to suggestions and opinions on how this is working.


	2. never

Disclaimers: (wallows in disbelief) I have no right over or have ever (stays away from never) owned GundamWing nor do I profit from this fic, but the story is mine. You hear the story is MINE! (coughs and clears throat) Now as I was saying...

Warnings: Dark, some OOCness, disturbing content (backup and read that one mo'gain, just to be sure that's clear), graphic descriptions of attempted non-consensual sex involving minors (the implied, not as descriptive, will be dominant), incest, implied and actual drug use, Duo/Solo torture (you have been warned) and uh... I dunno if I got everything...

Pairings: eventual 1x2

_feedback is appreciated._

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

two - never

Earlier that same day

The elementary school had originally been a Lunar ore refinery plant near the edge of the business district, the school officials had been very lucky that the place's surrounding haul was structurally sound. A boy with a messy braid stared at the fence that divided his school from the rest of the business district and thought about the high school on the opposite side that similarly divided from the district by a market of sorts. He waved at the police officer that was double checking the school grounds. The tall man with curly black hair arched a brow at him, then glanced at the small three floor storage space a block behind the fence and glared at him as hesitantly waved back.

Duo snickered, his smirk turning mischievous as he entertained the thought of giving the man a run for his money. The Police officer knew him well from all the times he'd caught on the other side of the fence. The police officer, Walter, complained enough of how he was a pain in the ass but he never told on him, even though he swore he would a couple of times when he couldn't find him.

"Duo!" He turned away from thoughts on how to get past the vigilant officer when Hilde waved him over to the bus.

"Hey Mista S." Duo smiled hugely, hopping up the stairs and the bus driver snorted in amusement, waving to the officer slumped in relief near the twelve foot fence before continuing his rounds.

"You know you oughta give ol' Walt a break. You'll-"

"'Give him more gray hairs.' Yea, yea he tells me that all the time but you know I keep him on his toes." Duo smirked, plopping down in an empty seat when Hilde gave him an apologetic look over the head of another girl who had taken the seat beside her. "Without me," he yarned as the bus driver closed the door and got up with a stretch, "he wouldn't have anything to do except eat doughnuts all day."

Mr. Strand waved him away, beginning a head count on his clipboard and telling everyone to get in their seats. Duo stifled another yawn behind his had and put his feet up for a quick nap.

l

l

o O o

l

l

He was being lifted then carried from the room but went to sleep when the arms held him closer and swayed... no rocked him, and even though in the pit of his stomach it made him feel unease to trust him he couldn't stop his younger self from snuggling closer. Duo felt his uneasiness mount as he inhaled to have a familiar sweat tinged, musky smell filling his nose as he nuzzled the hard chest before him, trustingly. 'Bro,' his mind identified and the feeling of security enveloped him, lulling him back to sleep.

He felt weightless, queasy and confused. Why would he fear his brother? Then suddenly he was struggling, shaking and swallowing back the fowl taste in his mouth.

"Quin?" Duo squeaked out, his voice sounding younger than he remembered as it quivered with the fear mirrored in his pleading, confused gaze as he looked up at his brother. Quin looked strange, especially his eyes, then there was pain. Duo swallowed hard, but he screamed and everything was starting to fade. But he could feel wetness on his back, his heart pounding in his chest and Quin pressing him into the bed. Before he could ask why, his vision grayed to black.

l

l

o O o

l

l

Duo gasped into wakefulness, blinking furiously, with unseeing eyes as the bus hit another bump in the road. The Slums of L2 was not as well kept as rest of the colony but at least things were not as bad as they could be. Today, in History class Mr. Kelly told them how in 175, the disquiet between the earth and the colonies was slowly being resolved and MS (mobile suit) development assisted in the further development of the colonies. He drilled it into their heads that war would have been a definite possibility if the assassination attempted on Heero Yuy wasn't botched.

Today's class had Duo wondering what kind of soldier he would have been if there had been a war. 'Would I still have my braid? Would Mama have things much better since we could all just join the army and everything would have been paid for?' His thoughts of what if with his imagination's assistance had him facing the window and not the teacher, so Mr. Kelly moved his seat to the front and sat staring directly at him from time to time as he told them that there was an investigation and with the help of King Peacecraft, they discovered that Alliance forces and a member from Romefellar were involved. They were imprisoned and the Alliance was disbanded. This resulted in not only a council of representatives from all of the colonies, but a collaboration between Councilman Heero Yuy and King Peacecraft working toward settling unrest or any dispute between earth and the colonies, while still helping the impoverished colonies, like those of L2.

The class had been a little doubtful of what Mr. Kelly had told them, but Duo didn't doubt him. His Mother said things like that all the time, he thought to make sure that they understood what others had sacrificed for them to be able to go to school, to appreciate them. He remembered how Quin would often grumble his agreement, his older half brother -even though he never saw him as such- would get their Mother out of her 'appreciate this' rants.

Duo did appreciate it, but he was a kid and he couldn't be expected to be all serious all the time. One of the main people he appreciated the most was his Father. Solo and Duo's father died when he was two. He had spent part of his father's birthdays staring at the few pictures they had of him and the majority of them had a wide, violet eyed pony-tailed baby grinning one of those toothless smiles with drool and all in his arms. His mother had caught him one time with that picture and commented on how it was all that hair he had, still had, that was the cause of her heartburn.

He shivered suddenly, turning his head to stare out the window at the blurred colony-scape as bits and pieces of the dream nagged at him. He felt like he was seven and scared as shit of something or someone. The dream was already fading as he shook his head and scratched at his long fringe, 'I'm ten.' He voiced mentally but it quivered into a half sniffle, '... a memory? th-that never happened. I need to get home...' He rested his head on his folded arms against the seat in front of him and let his eyes slide shut.

"Duo! Come on, wake up!" The deep purple haired tomboy shouted in his ear as she shook his shoulder, " You're going to miss your stop!"

Duo jumped, "I fell asleep again..." he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand "Thanks Hil! I did promise Solo I would take him to the park today."

"Yeah, don't mention it." Hilde half grinned as she looked at her friend. "Papa said that he was gonna drive us all there, so you could just come over-"

"Nah, Hil I gotta get home." Duo interrupted. He turned to look out the window missing her faltering grin.

"What's the matter?" Hilde's voice was laced with concern; she'd noticed how Duo had been a little out of it most of the day. She worried her bottom lip, her eyes never leaving her friend.

"I dunno." The bus stopped and Duo leapt from his seat, fixed his book bag and pulled his braid over his shoulder. "I just need...," he shrugged, "need to get home. I'll see ya in a few hours, we have to wait for Mama to get home before me and Solo can go."

"Ok Duo. See ya." She shrugged off the uneasy feeling she'd gotten, trusting that what her friend said was true and if there was a problem she knew she'd be the first one he'd tell. Hilde waved goodbye through the window as Duo increased his pace to get home.

Next year, Solo would be going to his school and he was only eight. The school board, after tracking his progress, had decided to skip him ahead because he aced everything they gave him at a third grade level. Duo grinned to himself, he was proud of Solo. He was glad he decided to show Solo his books and went over lessons he learned in school. It not only helped him study but it helped his little brother too. Besides, he didn't like the fact that they had to be separated like that.

He came to the door of their apartment and had a sense of foreboding as he opened the unlocked door. Solo was supposed to be there already because school got out earlier for him, and usually Quin picked him up after he left his job over at the Schbeiker's scrap yard. But every thing was too quiet. As he went through the house, it had a funny smell that caused him to crinkle his noise as he left his stuff on the couch. The smell was strongest in his brother's room and there were windows open and a few fans on. "It's not hot today?" He commented silently and went into the kitchen where the TV was still on and two cups as well as a bowl of half eaten cereal still sat at the table. The door to the side stairs that went down to the laundry room for the apartment building was open. Duo could hear music and feel the thrum of the bass through the floor. He swallowed, feeling ill and lightheaded. He touched the door knob to go out and look but was stopped and nearly knocked over by blur of strawberry blond hair and wide green puffy eyes.

Door forgotten, Duo found it hard to breathe as he slowly realized that his little brother was breathing hard and squeezing him so tight that he started to see spots. He noticed, Solo's clothes were not on him right and he smelled of sweat and something else. Something that was coppery on his tongue, tinged his senses. He staggered a few steps back with Solo in his arms.

"So-" His question died on his lips as his brother whimpered and buried his head under his neck as they both heard steps coming closer through the door. Duo didn't think, he just grabbed his brother and tugged him, barefoot - he noticed, into the room they still shared with their mother. He went to the closet that they stored things in and never opened without their Mom or Quin there. He moved a bag that sat in front of it, opened it slightly and shoved his brother in. Solo grabbed on to his shirt and whimpered in protest.

Duo was going to stay outside and Solo knew it. He wouldn't have it. He tugged again on Duo's shirt and Duo went inside the closet too.

Pulling the bag so that it fell against the door, the way it had been before. Both of them were breathing hard, in the stale smelling and crowded closet. Solo clung to Duo crying and trying not to make a sound. He couldn't hear his loud sniffles as he pressed his ear to his brother's chest finding comfort in his heart beat.

"Shh! Solo, calm down or he'll hear us! Next time you come home no no... just ask Mista Strand, yanno our bus driver who wears the funny beanie hat." Duo forced a chuckle, trying to calm himself as well as Solo. He knew who was out there. He knew who it was and he couldn't say it. He couldn't think it. He began to rock to vent some of his nervousness, fear he'd been holding in, twisting in his stomach making him feel sick. He swallowed before continuing, "Ask him to drop you off at my school or let you stay on the bus since he comes to my school to take me home too?" Duo said in a hurried whisper getting his breathing under control as Solo nodded his answer and buried his face in Duo's neck, silencing his sniffling.

Tbc...


	3. reality

Disclaimers: I don't own GW, don't sue 'cuz all you'll get is Bobo the bear and my niece's special little lint balls.

Warnings: From hereonout I think it won't be as nearly ncs graphic as it was last chapter, hmm . . a hint strangeness and see the previous chap for full spiel.

Pairings: eventual 1x2

feedback is appreciated.

Denial

by priscel

three - reality

_Brrrit brrrrit . . . crinkle . . . Brrrit brrrr. . . ._ Duo awoke, confused and unsure of where he was. He tried to sit up in the warm darkness when a quiet whimper made him pause. 'The closet.' He remembered hiding with Solo here. An image of Solo's face came to mind and he remembered being so scared for him and how he looked . . . so pale with red lips and the pinkish oval marks around his jaw - one heavy impression on his left cheek and four other ones on his right cheek varying in color and length. He never wanted to see that look on Solo's face again. He wished he could wipe away those marks. He ran his fingers through Solo's hair unaware of Solo flinching away from the touch before relaxing against him again.

'Not bad,' Solo's foggy mind confirmed, loosening his grip on the front and side of Duo's shirt.

Duo knew they needed to get out of the closet soon; he knew Hilde would be calling to find out why they hadn't shown up. He didn't want to cause his mother any more stress and he knew Solo felt the same way. He sighed, and it was instantly consumed by the hot air of the closet, stirring nothing, lulling the boys with its smothering warmth into a half sleep.

_Brrrit brrrrit . . . Brrrit brrrr . . . crinkle. . . . _They both jerked into wakefulness, one winced and bit his lip while the other leaned closer to the door. Duo and Solo sat dead-still at the puuut puuut sound that was followed by the crinkle of plastic. Then just suddenly as the sounds started, they were gone again. Duo's curiosity grew while trying to figure out what it was they were hearing through the door, when Solo's low whisper of "Dini" along with a pleading mew made him a small smile creep onto his face. The stray tom cat, checkered brown with grayish fur, was dubbed 'Houdini' (or Dini for short) by Solo, because Dini would find a way into their home even when all the doors and the windows were closed. Somehow the cat always got in and the boys noticed that whenever Dini made his appearance, Quin wasn't home. One time they had Dini chasing a string with a baby sock tied on the end, when the cat had stopped for no apparent reason and raised its heckles. Dini meowed, a hissing growl grumbling in the back of his throat. They had turned to see Quin walking through their front door when they saw Dini zip past him and out of it. They had never understood why the feline had such a dislike for their brother

They both jerked into wakefulness, one winced and bit his lip while the other leaned closer to the door. Duo and Solo sat dead-still at the sound that was followed by the crinkle of plastic. Then just suddenly as the sounds started, they were gone again. Duo's curiosity grew while trying to figure out what it was they were hearing through the door, when Solo's low whisper of "Dini" along with a pleading mew made him a small smile creep onto his face. The stray tom cat, checkered brown with grayish fur, was dubbed 'Houdini' (or Dini for short) by Solo, because Dini would find a way into their home even when all the doors and the windows were closed. Somehow the cat always got in and the boys noticed that whenever Dini made his appearance, Quin wasn't home. One time they had Dini chasing a string with a baby sock tied on the end, when the cat had stopped for no apparent reason and raised its heckles. Dini meowed, a hissing growl grumbling in the back of his throat. They had turned to see Quin walking through their front door when they saw Dini zip past him and out of it. They had never understood why the feline had such a dislike for their brother. 

Duo helped his brother out of the closet, making their way over to their floor mattress. Duo laid him on his side because sitting seemed to bother him. Duo looked at him questioningly but Solo turned his head into the sheet, his clumping bangs shadowing his face and making the bruises on his face look darker than they were. Dini watched, taking that moment to pad-over and bump his head against Solo's hand, hoping to get their attention and dispel the sad air around his two friends.

Duo watched as Solo didn't respond to Dini's efforts as the soon irate cat nipped at Solo's fingers. Duo tried to ignore the pang he felt in his chest by his brother's reluctance to talk to him. They talked about everything, was this so different? He then remembered how he'd found his brother earlier, his heart clenched painfully in his chest as he rose to his feet and faced the half-open door to their room. A persistent tug on his pant leg made him aware that he hadn't actually moved from where he was standing. Darkened amethyst met a glossy green in a wordless promise that he wouldn't be long. Turning to leave he didn't see his brother curl around the huge pillow they had stolen from their mother's bed and try to make himself as small as possible as his body shook with the force of his soundless sobs.

After surveying the living room, noting that the smell and half finished food that had been on the table were no longer present, he leaned against the door of the refrigerator taking deep breaths. "Everything's ok." He announced to no one in particular as he walked passed the refrigerator and stopped. He didn't remember seeing the note there, but he didn't remember if he locked closed the door either.

Dinner's in the fridge. I will be home late so don't mess with your brother's stuff you two! Hugs and kisses, Mama.

He read it again as he ran his fingers over their mother's cursive print. He sighed, wishing that she was there home. She'd know what to do and how to make it better, but there was nothing he could do about it. He went quickly to the bathroom, taking with him a small bucket he had found under the kitchen sink. He stumbled into the bedroom, nearly falling over the heavy bucket but caught himself on its rim, causing some of the water to slosh out over the sides. Duo's tremulous smiled fell as he worried his bottom lip with his teeth. Solo hadn't moved. His currently wet left-hand lay limply out toward Duo with his face turned into the bend of his arm. He was sure he'd made enough noise to wake the dead, but apparently not Solo. He pulled a shirt out of the dresser and to soak up some of the water from the bucket.

Solo's head snapped to the right at the feel of a warm, prickly thing running over his hand. His eyes were wide and his heart beat rapidly before he relaxed, letting out a shuddering sigh.

Dini blinked at him when his friend's head dropped back down to his arm and then nudged his head under the hand. Dini shook his head at the water he felt behind his ears but began to purr as Solo continued to lazily rub him there. Solo woke up from his half doze only to see his brother's go through the door and turn into the bathroom on the right in the hallway. He could feel heat tingling in his nose and closed his eyes against it. He didn't want to cry anymore.

Dini stretched and curled in closer to Solo, mewing and head butt-rubbing against Solo's chin, face and then stopping when he got no response. He wanted his friend to stay awake and he wanted to be petted. Solo was almost asleep again when Dini went for his nose.

". . .ah . . . " Solo glared weakly at the cat when he heard him mew, he could swear that Dini was laughing at him. "... quitit Dini . . . don't like fur up my nose. . . ." He attempted to swat the cat but Dini hopped out of the way. Solo glared at the cat and saw Duo walking toward him. Squatting, Duo put several towels and a rag just above Solo's head and then rested on his knees looking down at him.

Duo wasn't sure what he was doing but he'd seen it in a movie once that wounds needed to be cleaned. Solo blinked sleepily at Duo as he started to remove his shirt and pouted. Duo smirked, remembering that it wasn't that long ago that he had to help Solo dress when their mother was too busy or too tired to do it herself. He knew all too well his brother's protests of not being a baby anymore and wanting to dress himself.  
"I'm only babying you until we can get you cleaned up, I promise." Duo smiled, falling into memory as his brother pouted and then gave him a small smile.

Solo really wasn't up to doing it himself but he helped as much as he could by lifting his arms to get the shirt over his head. The memory of the familiar routine from when they were younger made Solo relax further even though the warm soapy rag caused goose bumps to rise up where the cool air met his skin. Duo grimaced as he tugged down his brother's overalls as gently as he could, but they were sticking to his skin. He didn't have on his Daffy Duck undies, Solo's favorite ones that Duo had teased him about that morning when he caught him in bathroom pulling on his overalls. Blinking away the memory, he noticed his brother was red down there. He touched his hip lightly and realized it was a bruise. He traced the red and angry looking marks and realized they went down passed Solo's genitals to the back of his thighs. '... hand prints,' Duo thought, splaying his hand lightly over one mark. 'It's huge.'

The fading light in the room signaled the approach of night, yet Duo continued to wash away the smell of sweat and something he couldn't place. Glancing back at the now dark pink water, Duo dropped the rag and picked up the blue overalls touching the back of them. 'It's wet,' he thought to himself, bringing his hand to his face to see that it was covered in thick red liquid. That was when the coppery smell hit him, he knew that smell but never had it been so strong before. Never had he seen so much blood. _Liar_ . . . He leaned forward, dizzy from a feeling deja vu the smell had triggered. He'd seen more than this before. A brief image of chubby arms soaked in red and an arm, a sickly pinched gray color flitted across his mind. He shook his head trying to dispel his muddled thoughts. He didn't understand where this was coming from. 'Maybe a movie?' He wondered, looking down at the overalls fisted in his hand when he felt the congealed mess slip between his fingers.

'It's wrong.' He thought to himself as he looked back as the bucket, 'this all came from Solo . . . I don't. . . .' He dropped back heavily onto his bent legs as he began to tremble. 'The dream . . . wasn't . . . ' his thoughts lost voice as memory resurfaced. 'The baby smell . . . the tissue came away red. . . .' his memories found shape, sound and feeling as he shook with the realization that it wasn't some nightmarish imagining that he could ignore and that his little brother was proof of that.

He was numb. His heart beat was the only thing he was aware of as it pounded in his chest. He brought his hand close to his face again. His eyes became unfocused and turned a dark blue color as he continued to stare at the now brownish red blood that covered his hand. 'It's getting thicker and brighter. Sh . . . Shini. . . .' Duo jerked as the numb feeling left him along with the fear and the pain from earlier was renewed along with an immense feeling of guilt from what his silence had allowed to happen to his little brother.

Solo was half covered by a blanket, stolen pillow tucked firmly beneath his chin as he dozed off once more feeling safe under his brother's care when he heard a strange sound. Duo was sniffling. He had never seen his brother cry since that time they came home and their brother . . . 'Quin.' He corrected himself. Solo realized he couldn't call Quin brother anymore; it hurt too much. He couldn't be a brother to him like Duo was. He shook his head in the negative as if to affirm his own thoughts, 'Never like Duo.' Shakily, he lifted himself up and laid his head on Duo's lap as he hugged his middle.

"Duo . . . Duo, I'm ok . . . I'll do what you said. I'll ask the bus driver. Please don't cry . . . " Solo said hoarsely ending with a sniffle of his own.

"... I ... gawd Solo! It's all my fault . . . " Duo dropped his hand into the water, washing away the congealed mess.

Solo peered at him questioningly from his position on his lap. "No, it's not."

"I should have been here! I should've . . . told." He shook his head, bowing it staring unerringly into Solo's half-lidded eyes.

"You didn't know. I didn't know either. He was fine before. He just started acting strange today. And I . . . I just . . . and he . . . " Solo's voice broke into hiccups as he squeezed Duo, burrowing his face into his stomach to try and chase the memories away by finding comfort in his brothers' presence.

"...Call . . . I'm going to call Mama." Solo heard only parts of what Duo had just said, and when Duo made to get up, Solo tightened his hold but what stopped Duo's movement was his brother's pained hiss of 'no' and other things he couldn't make out. So Duo waited, leaning over his brother's trembling form on half raised knee for Solo to repeat himself. " ... no, don't tell Mama. I... I'm ok." The last of his words were muffled against Duo's shirt as he pressed his face into Duo's stomach again.

Duo knew Solo was lying; it had been so hard for Solo to even say he was ok. "Why Solo . . . It happened to me too . . . " he said in a barely audible whisper, taking a deep breath as he continued, "We need to tel-" He was cut off by the vigorous nods against his stomach. Solo knew what telling Mother meant and Duo realized finally why his brother would want to keep it secret. No more Quin but that also meant no more Mother either. Social services would take them away from her because she wasn't home to prevent it from happening to either of them. They knew the other adults would only listen to half of what they said, try to hurt their mother, and accuse her of things that weren't her fault. From what they had heard from other kids whose families were broken up by social services, they were not to be trusted.

They knew that with Quin gone there would be no one to help her with the bills and that would mean they'd lose their home. They'd end-up on the streets if they couldn't find a place to stay.

They knew all these things and yet they didn't understand why their mother was against them working. Duo had asked to help when he would see their Mom dragging home on sore feet and getting red-eyed over the bills. She would hug him, then kiss him on the top of his head and always say 'No honey, I'm ok. You just do your school work the best you can and look after your little brother.' He had failed at that, failed at protecting his brother. He didn't know what to do now.

"Ok," Duo sighed, " I need to wash-"

"No! Throw 'way! ...throw it away . . . please." Duo nodded leaning forward to move the blanket to check the back of Solo's legs and butt. 'No more blood.' Duo felt relieved now that the bleeding had stopped. Dini padded over to Duo's head, where his perch on their mother's bed had placed him, and head butted Duo's ear. Duo waved him off as he finished cleaning Solo. Dini tilted his head to the side, then climbed down after a few minutes and brushed against Duo's side and Solo's arm, purring when one of them began to pet him. Duo reached over into the dresser and pulled out one of his shirts and put it on him as well as a pair of Spiderman undies. Duo quickly deposed of the overalls and put away everything else. When he returned to Solo's side, he held his brother, talking to him about school and things they would do when they got older and how they'd explore Earth together. Eventually, they, too emotionally taxed to get up and try to eat anything, laid down together, Solo never letting go of Duo's arm as they let sleep take them. Dini remained at the head of their bed watching the door, tail thwacking the floor as his half lidded blue-green eyes flashed yellow in the disappearing light.

Tbc...


	4. illusions

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing or the characters therein are not mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, angst, implied ncs, a longer chapter, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: . . .

AN: I think this chapter will be a bit . . . I dunno . . . you'll see what I mean. Thank you to Frey, my devoted readers and Hiya Robin huggles you.

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

'_I wish it were a dream I could wake up from . . .'_

Denial

by priscel

four - illusions

Summer, 190 A.C.

(Duo POV)

School's Out! We've spent a lot of time at the orphanage with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, helping them with the other kids and teaching them what we've learned. I think that Solo just might be a teacher when he gets older. I know everybody was telling him that, but I felt that it was different when your family believed it and in you. He's only eight but still he had the tempered patience of an adult as he sat and broke down math problems he knew well without so much as hint of doubt in what he was doing. Mama said that it was nice that we got to know uncle. She doesn't practice his religion and said we were free to choose our own. Hmm . . . I think I might just be a priest someday, I even have my own habit, it's a bit big but Father Maxwell says I'll grow into it.

He has been mindful of me and Solo. I think he saw when Solo grabbed me, pulled me behind this truck when we were on our way home. After getting him loosen his death grip on the front of my shirt, I peeked out to see Quin walking toward home.

The next week we went to help them with the kids, he asked us if there was anything wrong. Solo, realizing he mustuve saw us the last time, was quick to let him know that we were planning to play a trick on our brother. Father Maxwell, although hesitant, accepted Solo's explanation and my two cents about the bus driver helping us with our plot. So I didn't exactly lie, it was the truth, although I left out the real reason for the bus drivers' help even if the Mista S didn't know it himself. At the falter of my smile, Father Maxwell stared us down for a little while longer, then he smiled a smile that spoke of his infinite patience as he told us that if we needed to talk about anything, we could do that with him.

My heart felt heavy 'cuz not once during the whole explanation did Solo call Quin brother.

It ...it had been months since our brother hurt him. The few times that we had seen him, he behaved as if nothing had happened. We were confused, even more so when Quin would come over and jostle Solo's hair like he used to. Most of the time he would leave about ten minutes after Mama did, leaving us by ourselves. It was fine with me, I got to cook!

One day, Quin ended up staying home with us. We were wary of being with him by ourselves. We thought about going back to the orphanage to 'help' but we had already been there once this week so that wasn't an option.

Before Mama left for work, we went to ask her if we could spend the day over at Hilde's. I could feel Solo glaring at me the entire time we waited for her answer. Why was he glaring at me? We'll, he wanted to know what I would say to Mama if she asked why we'd been avoiding our brother. I told him I didn't know. He knows I don't lie, so I hope he doesn't think I'll back out on the promise, it was basically that a promise, that I gave him that night. I'll figure out a way to answer her without telling. No, I won't tell . . . even if it hurts, I won't tell. I shook off the feeling of something greater than sadness and deeper than fear right then that had followed that thought.

Luckily she waved it off. She smiled one of those 'Mother knows all' smiles that made me blush for some reason. She winked at me and told us that _we_ needn't stay with Hilde all the time. And that we should spend some time with our brother, at least help him clean up until he went to work.

We obeyed. Solo frowned once she left, but I got rid of that with a tickle attack.

So we were lounging in various positions in the bedroom when Quin came in with his hands behind his back. I was laying across the dresser, with my head hanging off the edge, plucking at the scruffy end of my braid when I saw him step into the doorway. Solo sat up from our nest of covers, glancing over Mama's bed at me, then at Quin and then back to me. I looked up at Quin, my mind idly wondering why some kids said that when you looked at things upside down that they are upside down too, but Quin was right-side up . . upside right... or something. Quin made a funny noise in his throat ya know, it sounded kinda like a cough but more like he was chocking on something. I noticed that his eyes lingered on something near me. I know he was not looking at Solo 'cuz he's on the other side of the room. My belly itched and as I reached to scratch bare skin, I didn't pay attention to the eyes that followed my hand nor had I noticed that my shirt had fallen toward my chest. His eyes met mine, he smiled and I smiled back. I couldn't help it. Quin didn't look menacing just happy to see us.

"You two look bored, so I thought I'd share something with you." He held out his hands and I sat up to look down at them as Solo cautiously made his way over to investigate what it was Quin held out: shades! They had a golden tint to them and they looked cool. I took one out of Quin's hand and before I could put them on Solo snatched it out of my hand and gave me a toothy smile. I huffed and crossed my arms in feigned indignation. Quin laughed and gave me the other pair. We tried them on but we couldn't see how we looked in them. We didn't have much light in our room with the blinds down, the little light that seeped through let us see our barely visible reflections in the shades themselves. We laughed when we bumped our heads together trying to see each other in the others' shades.

The only mirror there was in our home was the bathroom one over the sink, so Solo helped me drag a chair into there where we both climbed up and looked, with shaded eyes, at our reflections. We burst out laughing almost toppling the chair. They looked huge on our faces. Solo crossed his arms, his head tilted to the side, not realizing he was imitating a smirk our brother always did when he wore cool specks like these. Ha, I was surprised that he looked umm . . . Yea Coool that's the word with the triple 'o', just like big Brother. I imitated Solo, trying to stop the giggles rumbling through my chest from spilling out. Quin came to the door and smiled at us. We both gasped in surprise when he grabbed us both around our waists and hefted us up to his sides, even standing on the chair we were still shorter than Quin. He carried us like we weighed nothing, but made a big show of it anyway as he took us through the living room and out the door swinging us from side to side, making these cool sounds and huffing and puffing with each huge step he took.

Quin was very strong, I began to giggle and Solo was silent for a few moments before he gave in and laughed too. I couldn't stop it as it turned into a full laugh because Quin was running his fingers along my side. Through the laughs, I saw Solo relax and giggle ever so often when Quin made like he was going to fall down from carrying us. We found ourselves laughing at our brothers' antics the whole way to the balcony. Once on the balcony, Quin whipped out one of those old earth Polaroid cameras, ya know the ones that give instant pictures.

"Ok squirts, gotta get pictures of you so Mama won't feel left out. And she'd be very happy to have more pictures of us since we haven't taken any for a long while now." Quin paused as if deep in thought and then he was holding up the camera. We gave him curious looks not really knowing what we were supposed to do when we were blinded by a flash. Even with the shades on, I saw bright spots. I knew Solo mustuve seen them too 'cuz he was scrubbing at his eyes with both of his fists, pushing the shades up and down with each little turn of his hands. I watched him for a second and wondered if it hurt when he rubbed at his eyes like that. When we visit Father Maxwell, I often see some of the kids at the orphanage rub their eyes the same way, it looks really brutal. We got used to the flash quickly and for about an hour we were posing, jumping around and basically having lots of fun with our big Brother. Much too soon, all the pictures were used up and the last few were still white. We both had confused looks on our faces and Quin smiled down at us.

"You can try shaking them, to cool them off a bit faster." He suggested with a pleased look on his face.

I touched the front of one and felt the heat that remained beneath my fingertips and saw my prints too. I hoped I hadn't ruined the picture. We both took two photos and fanned them back and forth. Before long, a picture appeared and we gaped at them, laughed and picked at each other.

That night we got to stay up mad late, to show Mama the pictures and watch this scary movie that Solo kept jumping at. That's right, I wasn't scared, Solo was doing all the jumping. I only jerked... a little. We aren't supposed to watch this stuff but Quin would let us sometimes. Once that ended and the pop corn ran out, Solo went and got his truck while I went to get my sketch book and we set out to doing our own thing while the sound of Elmo talking filled the background.

As I drew, I found myself reflecting: today was such a good day. Things felt like they used to be, we were brothers and nothing more. I wanted to keep that train of thought but as I sat and drew (well tried to draw) with the sound of little wheels squeaking as Solo sat on the floor going 'vroom vroom' with his gray truck; I remembered the look Solo had when Quin had picked us up - he had went pale, his eyes were big and flicking from left to right. At that moment my thoughtful expression gave way to one of fear as I remembered how all our toys were in a bin not too far from Quin's room. My breath hitched at the thought of Solo being alone near Quin and me being an idiot, leaving Solo unprotected. Again. I failed him. "Solo . . . "

He blinked up at me in question. "Quin didn't, he didn't . . . um . . . " Solo tilted his head to the side, watched as I fumbled for words.

'Dangit, why can't I just say it already.' I said in frustration to myself. ". . . he didn't try to touch you?" I finally blurted out all at once.

The color drained from Solo's face and he shook his head vigorously. I sighed in relief. I glanced up to find a blank look had taken over his face and I felt bad instantly. I had just caused Solo to remember what we both wished was just our imagination. Heck, maybe it was just a nightmare? I could see that Solo was doubting himself too, but it was so real - it was real - I can still smell the blood. I bring the flat of my hand to my nose and rub it harshly. Quin wasn't acting any different but we decided that when school started again, we'd keep the arrangement with the old bus driver.

It was 0100, almost time for Mama to get home and we were tired. Solo refused to sleep, if I didn't too. We could smell that brown tar, that's what I called it anyway, being brewed in the kitchen. Mama always said that it was the only thing that helped her function in the morning, warming her inside and waking her up. I saw it work.

I got up and walked into the kitchen and grabbed a mug of the stuff putting lots of milk and lots of sugar in it. Mama said you needed the good stuff in it to make it taste even better so I drank some. I brought the mug down half way with a thoughtful expression on my face to find Solo standing before me. Solo eyed me with an arched pale brow. Mmm ... It was all right, but all I tasted was sweet sweeet milk. Mmm so yummy! I guess Solo heard me and saw my grin from behind the mug when I took another sip, 'cuz before I knew it my hands were empty. He had snatched it out my hands and had guzzled half of it before I could stop him. I was just drinking some to stay awake! I watched for any sign that he was going to puke, but he just smiled and bounced with his truck in his hands. I narrowed my eyes at him and swallowed the rest to make sure he didn't get anymore.

Not even ten minutes later, I could feel my heart speed up. And before we knew it, a walk from the toy bin to get more stuff became a race to the living room. We were so hyped up that we began to chatter, play with toys and wrestle around on the floor all at once. Quin had gone off to bed already, a low thrum of his music fading the further away you moved from his room down the little stretch of hallway toward the living room and our room.

xXxX(Duo POV end)XxXx

The living room was quiet, the light from the kitchen and the TV made the room dimly lit. The quiet was interrupted by the sound of the TV and the squeak of tiny wheels as the two boys sat dozing, leaning shoulder to shoulder with their backs to the coffee table. Solo's hand moved the little truck back and forth but jerked at the sound of keys clinking. The boys roused instantly, giggling and covering their mouths as they scrambled across the carpeted floor. They hunkered down in the corner, a little space between the couch and wall across from the end table to the left of the door, waiting with mischief alighted in their bright eyes for the door to open. They each had one hand over their mouths as they tried to stifle their bubbling giggles.

"Shhh." Duo went as they crouched low and moved toward the end table where the key tray sat. They watched as Jadea entered and tossed her jacket, unknowingly, passed their heads and onto the couch. When they saw her reach to pick up her tote bag from the floor, they attacked, glomping her and nearly knocking her into the door. An 'oof' was heard followed by excited laughter.

"Well you boys are up late?" She leaned down to kiss the tops of the two laughing boys' heads. 'They're growing up so fast.' She thought smiling sadly, and running her hand through Solo's hair.

"Mama!Wehadsomuchfuntoday!" Duo announced excitedly, suddenly up on his feet and bouncing by her side.

"YEA!QuingaveustheseshadesandwelookedfunnyinthemandMAMA!DUOsaidIlookedlikeanELF.Ido.NOt. MamaIdon'tIdon't." Solo whined. "Idon't." Solo said with a vigorous shake of his head with an indignant pout on his round face, "Nahuh!" Solo nodded his head once in the affirmative and looked to Jadea with puppy eyes as she stood up. "Nahuh!Ilookedcool! Don't I mama?"

Solo took off toward the clutter of photos on the coffee table, not giving her a chance to respond, then ran back to her holding a picture up to her face on his tiptoes. He pointed enthusiastically at it with just a bit of his tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth.

"YoudidTOOlooklikeanelfandyourearsarepointylikeonetoo!" Duo said, a maniac grin growing as he snuck up on him and tugged on the tops of Solo's ears so that there were visible from beneath his hair.

Jadea watched in amusement and thought that they did looked kind of pointy.

"Ha! Toldya so." Duo gestured to Solo with a nod of his head while he rested his fists on his hips, grin still in place as he smiled from ear to ear. Jadea blinked, smiling down at the two.

"Ow!Mama!TellDuoNottoDooooTHAT!" Solo whined and covered one ear while rubbing the other.

Jadea chuckled wondering which _that_ her youngest wanted her to stop Duo from doing. She moved his hands before he could rub them red. As she bent down to look at them closer, Solo took off again, pointing at Duo's face not realizing how close he was. Duo looked down, crossed eyed at the smaller digit touching the tip of his nose.

"Mama!" Solo giggled. " I know!" He giggled again. "DuolookslikethatCheshirecatfrom'AliceinWonderland.' " He said excitedly as he ran around Duo then ran to hide behind Jadea when Duo reached out to catch him.

Jadea chuckled, a tug on sleeve brought her smiling browns to bright greens. "MamacomeseewhatIcandoowithmytruck..." Solo 'thunked' his truck on the coffee table and plopped down beside it with an expectant look on his face.

Jadea joined her youngest on the floor to watch him doing 'amazing feats' with his truck. She looked around and saw the mess the boys had made in front of the 'entertainment center,' which was basically a book shelf with the TV on it. It did have a small compartment with a door (2 by 4 feet storage space) that became a crawl space for the boys or served as a hiding place when they played hide and seek.

Jadea considered her sons hyperactive before but this... They were two balls of energy and she wondered if they had gotten into the candy she had hidden in the kitchen as they continued their chatter without breathing. She had started to worry, but was relieved when they would stop and take deep breaths and then start back up with filling her in on what they had done that day.

Duo was bouncing around her again, when she decided to go see if it was the candy they had gotten into. Solo was holding her hand and swung their joined hands slowing her pace. Once in the kitchen, Jadea eyed the empty coffee pot along with several empty mugs on Solo's stool and on the counter by the coffee maker with unease. At the same time, the boys had gotten to this bit of their day and told Jadea how much they loved coffee and would like to drink it all the time. Jadea was peeved, to say the least, more so because she had to wait for more coffee and told the boys a firm 'no' when they asked to have some of the fresh pot. She made a mental note to tell Quin not to leave the coffee unguarded.

xXxX(Duo POV)XxXx

That night we got to stay up with Mama; it was the best! We took an hour nap, but we were still hyper so we set out to run amok in the Park. It started to rain and we came home covered in mud and laughing so hard we held our sides trying not to fall and cover the floor with our muddiness. By late evening, we grew tried but couldn't sleep yet. Hilde came over and Dini saw fit to make his presence known by climbing up Solo's back to curl himself about his shoulders. I was worried that he would claw him but Dini did it all with expertise, thumping Solo on the nose with his tail. Hilde and I laughed when Solo sneezed.

Hours passed, Mista Schbeiker picked up Hilde, talking with us awhile and dropping Quin off. Quin mumbled a 'stay out of trouble squirts,' jostled Solo's ear length hair then disappeared into his room in the back. It was almost 2200 and Solo was already slipping off, leaning heavily against my side and drool slipping from the corner of his mouth. Eww! I didn't wanna be covered in baby spittle so I woke him and told him it was time for bed. He protested but stopped when I told him I was going to go too. After performing our nightly rituals, we crawled onto our pallet and the moment our heads touched the pillows, we were dead to the world.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

I grumbled in my sleep. Turning over and waking up slowly, my body telling me something wasn't right. I pulled the blanket over my head. My sleep muddled brain registering that it was still late Friday night or early Saturday morning, in any event it was too damn early and I wanted to go back to sleep. I realized I could feel the thrum of Quin's music but it was a lot stronger than usual, 'cuz I could feel the sound rebound in my chest. I rubbed my eyes and peered in the dark to see a line of light peeking through our slightly opened bedroom door. The hallway light was on? Now I could hear it, voices. Mama was yelling. I reached over, my hand shaking, to make sure Solo was still asleep. He had shifted further to the right, petting the lump that is my brother made me relax enough that the shaking stopped. I got up to find out why our mama was yelling like that. She never yelled at anyone. Mama is a cool cookie. Yes, I smiled a bit as I opened the door. Bright! Dangit, I hate that. As my eyes adjusted to the light while I rubbed at them, I heard Mama demand that Quin tell her what Solo was doing in his room and why was he crying.

My hands slowly dropped from my face, as my thoughts ceased on Solo's name. I mean I felt... I thought that lump was Solo! I was sure . . . I glanced back into our shadow filled room, my mental voice stumbled as I took in Solo's appearance with blurry eyes: his face was flushed with light tracks of where the tears still ran and marked with red indentations; his lips were a dark red - bruised -and the corners of his mouth had brown flecks leading to his jaw; his clothes were wrong. His lips were never that red. They're redder than the . . . I looked up suddenly, my eyes focused on Solo as they widened in disbelief. He was trembling now, leaning against the wall caught between the two people we'd thought would protect us from everything. . . Make everything better when something was wrong. I couldn't hear anything they were saying when I smelled it, baby oil. All at once, my stomach rolled, my heart screamed against my chest and my throat tightened at the smell of it. I felt like I was suffocating as all feeling left me and I stared, unblinkingly, at our Mama's taut back.

"Why!...He... I can't"

"Mama... could... you ... weren't here."

"What ... o you mean ... WASN'T HERE!... Don't... lying... believe... my son... YOUR OWN BROTHER!" Their argument started to get clearer the closer I got to Solo.

"He had a nightmare and he said he wanted to stay up." Quin argued looking flustered.

"Then why is he marked up like that." Mama shouted with barely contained anger as she gestured to Solo. "Why is there blood coming from my baby! What did you do!"

". . ." Quin looked away, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Answer. Me. Goddamnit!" Mama raised her hand and shook her fist at Quin.

Too much . . . It was too much. Mama never cursed. Why couldn't our brother be just that, our brother, our protector? Why hurt Solo again, why not me? I deserved to get hurt . . . I failed again. I failed in protecting him from our own brother. I put my arms around Solo and helped him into our room. We clung to each other as we made our way over to the bed. I was about to pull back the covers when Solo stopped me and weakly pulled my hand back to him. He nearly collapsed in doing so and I hurriedly wrapped my arms around him. He looped his arms loosely around my waist, pushing his head into to my chest and then running his face over to my other shoulder. He was shuddering in my arms and I began to shake as well, still unsure of why Solo stopped me. He rasped out 'Dini' and I looked back at the lump beneath the covers and realized that it was not moving.

"N . . no." My voice was barely audible and out of morbid curiosity I still wanted to see. I didn't realize I was still inching toward the coverlet until Solo's hand twisting in my tank top brought my thoughts back to him. I was numb again, lost and scared of what this meant . . . What was going to happen to our family?

"He . . . he told me that he saw ...Dini outside our door. That he was ...trying to spoil his fun . . . that Mama ...would be late tonight a - - and th -that he'd show us . . . to . . . he want . . . Then he p - planned for us to ... do each oth-... he was comin' for you when . . . Mama caught him at the door. I heard her . . . I tried to fix . . . I . . . I . . ." Solo's voice broke from over use as his hitching breaths gave way to soundless sobs against my chest. I hugged Solo, loosening my hold when he nearly cried out in pain. We made our way onto Mama's bed and curled around each other. We both jumped at the slam of a door that vibrated through the walls and made the blinds on the windows bounce. Then, then there was nothing.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

"Du . . ."

" . . .uo..."

"Duo . . ." I peeked up at Solo with one heavy lidded eye. I opened both my eyes when I noticed the shadow growing behind him. My eyes widened when I realized it was the shadow of our Mama looming over him and me. She'd never looked like that before. And I was afraid. Have they come to take us from her now? It was still dark out. Could they wait . . . couldn't they reconsider . . . and maybe just take Quin away to get help? I got up and she rushed us into the livingroom mumbling something that sounded like not my son. Mama sat down on the two seater with us both standing before her. She told me to drop my jammies and I gawked at her. Did I do something wrong? I haven't been spanked for a couple of years now. I noticed the artificial sky lightening. I was confused, scared, and shook with a chill I didn't feel. I can't put to words what went through my mind in that moment. Solo looked like a ghost and I looked at her in confusion.

"Do it now Duo!" She scowled at me and that scarred the shit out of me.

I had never seen her face like that before, I hadn't even realized that I had dropped my pants at her harsh tone. I fidgeted, my right hand hanging limply at my side while I ran the other one up and down that arm. Mama arched a fine brown brow at my black boxers and I hung my head in embarrassment. I dropped my shorts and quickly replaced them with my hands. I know that I was doing an impression of a tomato turning red right about then. I could feel the heat in my face. Mama reached out and moved my hands aside - I was a tomato. Closing my eyes tightly, I felt ridiculous. I mean it's not like she hadn't seen me butt naked before, but give a guy a break it had been what? Three years and that was the last time she dressed me on my seventh b-day. She examined me down there, her fingers were cold and I unconsciously moved away but she put her hand on my hip and held me still.

Unexpectedly, she pulled me forward. I stumbled with my pants around my ankles and ended up sprawled across her lap. I squeaked and my face flushed making my head heavy when I felt her hands on my butt, prodding me. I was sniffling now, I didn't want to cry, I wouldn't - boys don't cry. That was what big Br-Quin had told me when the bullies had pulled my hair. I knew that wasn't true any more, little kids always cry and Solo was a little kid, I wasn't about to tell him not to. I could hear him now and feel the heat in my face increasing with the pressure between my eyes. Before I knew it, I was standing again on weak knees and Mama was helping me pull my things back on.

I sniffled, my eyes brimming with heat, my nose getting stuffed with tears that wouldn't fall. I used the edge of my blue tank top to wipe at my nose. This was when I noticed that Solo's hair was damp, his skin a little pinker than his normal peach color - like he was scrubbed all over - and that he had on different clothes. Mama pulled us both to her, ending survey of him. We squatted to sink into her arms, the couch dipped with our added weight as her chest heaved and we held on to her small frame in fear of everything and nothing. We tucked our heads beneath her chin and felt the wisps of her brownish blond hair sweeping against our faces as she nuzzled the tops of our heads. I realized she was crying, I could hear it in her chest... the subtle hitches over her pounding heart. Then I felt her tears, warm, falling on my face and I look at Solo. He looks so small; I watched as her tears mingled and ran along the tracks already on Solo's face.

"My babies." I hear the rumble of her voice through her chest more than I actually hear it. "God knows how much I love you boys. If . . . I had known . . . he's just like his father." She began to rock us. "My babies . . ."

We were numb it hurt so much. I was too tired to ask why Mama said that last bit and I knew I wouldn't remember later, too much had happened for it to be important to me. It wasn't long before we fell asleep in her arms.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

"Get. Out." I jumped out of my sleep. Solo was out cold and smelled heavily of soap. I hadn't noticed before, I could barely breathe before. I think Mama gave him something for the pain. He's been through so much, I thought to myself as I brushed his hair back from his face, lightly tracing a bruise in his hairline. He moved closer to me and I realized we were sleeping on the couch when its springs groan at his movement.

"But . . . Mama, please! I'm . . . I have no where else to go." Quin pleaded, tears and fear in his voice.

". . . that's not my problem. Go." Mama replied icily, her arms crossing at her waist.

I sent a tearful red-eyed glare at Quin. I wanted to get up and yell at him. Hit him. Make him hurt like he hurt Solo, but I was stuck. My ragged braid clasped firmly in Solo's hands. Quin's eyes caught mine. His chiseled features and broad nose made him look older than he was. Standing there in the doorway, his dark brown hair and tan skin make his hazel eyes seemingly glow with the morning light at his back. I didn't back down from this stare off as he continued to plead with Mama while staring at me. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as he looked me over and I felt weird, bare . . . cold. I shivered, wondering how this person could be my brother, giving me the same leers that the pimps on Broad did when I would pass by on my way home from school.

"They're lying. Whatever they told you Mama was a lie!"

"They didn't lie. How could they, especially about som..." She shivered, stopping herself from continuing along that line. "I saw what you did, Quin. I. SAW." Our mother held her ground firm even as her voice quivered at her last word. Quin paled. His eyes lost focus as if he were looking inside himself, thinking over what he'd done.

"What child would want . . . would ever ask for ...for THAT!" Mama mumbled as her hands covered her mouth. Quin leaned against the open door, one foot on the open patio that was the hallway of the first floor his hand on the railing leading down to the other apartments as he tilted his head back to look at the empty side walk visible from our doorway. The silence was thick and he looked afraid of what was out there, tapping his backpack with his worn snicker toe. Mama's face was flushed with anger and sorrow.

"Just you wait Mama," he said in a toneless whisper, "those two will give you nothing but trouble. They won't help you with anything. You should let me put them in their place. Before you end up someplace you don't want to be. . . Especially him." I heard him say lowly, feeling the weight of his eyes on me.

"Shut. Up. Quin. You're wrong. I can't believe you . . . You, my first . . . my tadpole." Quin's steely expression crumbled at Mama's use of his nickname growing up with her and the crack in her voice. In that moment I recognized him, that was my brother, but as soon as it was there it. . . _he_ was gone again. I could feel the crease in my forehead as my brows bunched in confusion. Even after remembering and knowing that this person had hurt Solo . . . twice, that this man couldn't possibly be my brother, I still wanted him to stay. To tell Mama he'd be good, to keep my family together. I felt I could trust the man I saw in that moment with my childish secrets, my favorite hiding place, my . . . with anything. Yet, that man wasn't there anymore, not with those eyes and I couldn't make myself believe it. Those eyes were empty, dark, lewd a - and too painful to look at. I closed my eyes and huddled closer to Solo, squeezing away the sight of those glowing hazel eyes.

Tbc...

* * *

Comments, Criticisms, Reviews are appreciated, craved and sought after. 


	5. making it

Disclaimers: The use of Gundam Wing or the characters therein does not ching ching for me, the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, angst, attempted ncs, sappiness, violence (film at eleven), a longer chapter, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: . . .

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

five - making it

(Duo POV)

The first week after Quin left was tense and Mama was depressed more often than not. She didn't work as much as she used to. I think, it was because she feared that Quin would come and get us, so we were pretty much at home most of the time. Sometimes we stayed over at Hilde's cuz her Mom worked every other night. Mama called Hilde's Mom two days after Quin left, telling her how he'd beat Solo, that she caught him when he tried to do the same with me. That's as much as I heard before Mama broke down over the vid and the screen fizzed out. A few minutes later, Mrs. Schbeiker was banging on our door. I opened the door and was pushed aside. She immediately settled down with Mama on the long couch talking in hushed tones, signaling for us to leave the room.

We remained sitting on the opposite couch 'cuz I didn't want to leave yet, Solo didn't either. I saw how her eyes lingered on Solo. They raked over the baggy long sleeve shirt (mine by the way) he wore and stilled on the dark red bruise on the side of his neck. I could see her lean over slightly trying to see just how far back the bruise went until Solo hid behind me, I could feel him burrow his face into the back of my shoulder. He didn't need the extra attention even if that wasn't all of what happen to him and he sure as hell didn't need pity.

I glared at her as she continued to send odd pitying looks our way. I knew those looks, and I'll give her credit for at least looking like she cared. We heard her a couple times, when we'd stay over at Hilde's, bad mouthing us and saying to her friends over the phone that it would be best that Mama gave us up to the Church. Going to see Hilde, had me making lots of trips uptown, enough to know about the looks her mother gave us. It's what most upper-class people look like when they look down on the poor and destitute: it spoke of pseudo-understanding, of helplessness in knowing what to do with her money other than to spend it on frivolous things, of blaming the poor for their own problems. We understood that her concern for us was not as deep as her concern for our Mama.

I was glad that Hilde wasn't like her Mama. I grunted as I pulled Solo up with me to go to our bedroom. We never went to the back rooms anymore. It didn't feel safe. It didn't feel like a part of our home.

Another week and I realized just how much Mama's strange behavior was influencing how Solo was acting - he was becoming more withdrawn and kept silent, his head bowed when Mama would talk to him. Most of the time, Solo clung to me as if I wasn't close enough or was going to leave or something. If I got up from our bed, he'd wake up instantly and grab onto my arm and drag himself on sleepy feet to wherever I went. Mama saw Solo's clinginess and told him to let me go. Solo's response was to move closer to me and hide his face behind my arm. We ended up doing everything together, including going to the bathroom.

I know it sounds strange but I didn't mind, I felt the need to make sure he was ok since I failed him so many times before. I had to help him wash because he told me he didn't want Mama to do it. When I asked him why, he clammed up.

One time, he answered me halfway through the sonic shower, saying that if I wouldn't help him he just wouldn't shower or bathe. I didn't argue, I just agreed to do it and watched him hold back tears as I moved the showerhead over his bruised shoulders where huge hand prints were a sickly greenish yellow, marks along his ribs were a dark brown and . . . there were more... too many. I swallowed and focused on not staring at him. I wouldn't want to be stared at, so I continued to help him wash as gently as possible. He was half asleep when I helped him out of the low tub, set him on the toilet lid and combed his ragged locks. I agreed with Mama when she said to us that it would take time to heal, but how much time? How long would Solo have to see these marks and be reminded of what happened to him?

It wasn't until Mama was forced to leave us, that things got strange. Mista T had called and asked her what the problem was, why was she still at home. Mama only answer was Quin's name and he just nodded before he vanished off the vid-screen. It made me wonder if he knew more than the half-truth that Mama had told Hilde's mom.

Mista T called back today, a whole week later, telling her she had two options: that she work or lose her job. He was a good guy, that Mista T, but the ultimatum put Mama on edge. Solo knew it because he latched onto me tighter when she approached us. She took us from the dinning table, already dressed in her uniform and sat us down on the two seater, it looked she had been expecting that phone call. She wore her hair in a french braid that stopped in the middle of her back and kneeled before us on the floor. I got up to sit on the floor with her because I didn't like her being on her knees but she stopped me and had me sit back down on the couch.

"Boys, this is going to be hard to except, but you need to know this." Mama sat on her knees, her hands braced in one another as she took in a calming breath. "Quin, is not your brother." She placed her fingers to my lips when I opened my mouth to protest it. She smiled softly at our confused looks. "Not by blood, he's... he was the son of my friend. I cared for the both of them too much to treat him as anyone but my son. But I ne-never thought him capable..." Mama's bottom lip quivered as she reached out to touch Solo and I felt him press himself to the side of my arm. It was a small movement but when Mama's eyes flicked to mine I knew she had noticed it. She smiled sadly, stroking her thumb over Solo's chubby cheek and then mine before kissing our foreheads.

She looked away as her hand dropped to her lap and the other picked at the carpet threads. "Boys I want you to be safe. Please... please, if he comes here don't answer the door... better yet don't answer it for anyone except the Schbeikers, Mr. Travis, your Uncle and the Sister. I ... I don't know if I can do this... Solo is in no condition to travel." I don't think she had meant to say that last part out loud as she bit her bottom lip and gave us both searching looks. Her bottom lip trembled when she released it from her punishing teeth. "Just promise me you boys won't let any anyone in?" She brought both of her hands up to touch our cheeks.

"Yes, Mama. Solo won't and I won't either." I said, my head nodding and wanting to make that sad expression leave her face.

She smiled sadly and hugged us before picking up her tote on her way toward the door.

I saw Solo glancing over at us as I followed Mama to the door. Once Mama was gone, Solo had disappeared from where I had left him. It made me feel uneasy as I checked our room, then the rest of the house to find to hide nor hair of him. I tried to think of other places he could have went that wasn't in the backrooms, when I walked in on him in the kitchen.

I watched as he put the sandwich he hadn't touched back into the fridge, then walk over to the sink and pulled out his stool. I felt the crease between my brows forming as I thought to this morning. Solo's stomach had been growling like a starving polar bear, so I knew he was hungry. So I didn't understand why he put his food back?

He still hadn't noticed me as he held his cup over the sink and poured the juice down the drain. I guess I must have made a sound because started. I could see the green in the corner of his eye and I was sure he knew I was there. Still holding the cup at a slanted angle, the juice continued to flow and the sound of the liquid draining filled the silence. He gave a half smile, attempting to act like what he was doing wasn't odd. His shoulders slouched in defeat knowing that we never wasted food. I opened my mouth to speak but took a step forward instead, Solo shivered in response and we both jumped at the sound of the clear plastic cup clanking wetly in the empty metal sink.

From under his dishevelled hair, I saw both his shadowed eyes as he turned to face me with one foot half off the stool. The long sleeve plaid shirt he wore was wrinkled and baggy (he likes my clothes a lot), the sleeves easily covered his hands. He began to fidget, tugging at the ends of the sleeves with his eyes still focused on me.

"So-" I started when Solo hunched down at my raised hand. My eyes flitted between it and my cowering brother. Before I had a chance to say anything, Solo began to mumble and rock where he squatted.

"What's the matta Solo?" I inched toward him, my steps silent.

"I'm sorryI'm sorryI'm sorry. . ."

"Why are you saying you're sorry?" I waited for him to respond but he just stayed on the floor with his knees up and arms wrapped tightly around himself. "So' come on. Quit fooling around."

Solo shook his head, "It's my fault. I'm the reason why they'll take us away from Mama. I . . .hic I . . .tried to cover for Quin. I tried. But Mama saw the b-blood a-and I tried to put back on my shirt. . . but . . . tried to stand . . . too weak . . . I fell, she caught me and I screamed-" He cut himself off and rocked faster bringing his crossed arms up on his knees to hide his face.

"So' don't say stuff like that." I squatted beside him and tried to move his arms. "It's not your fault." He pulled away from me and I got fed up, pulled him forward so that he was sitting on his knees while I hugged him. His breathing was erratic and he tried to pull away but I held him tighter as he mumbled into the crook of my neck.

"I deserve to be punished. I shouldn't eat. I don't want it."

"No Solo." I pressed my cheek to his head.

"Yes! Yes I do!" He pushed upward in an effort to get free of my hold and I was forced back on to my feet with a twist that sent me tumbling backward. I grabbed onto Solo, reflexively, trying to find purchase and not fall but all I did was succeed in bringing the both of us down. I felt a hard surface at the same time a flash suffused my vision, so much so that I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed.

The numbing shock that I had banged my head on the linoleum floor wore off as pain pulsed through it. Soon, I was struggling to breathe because Solo's added weight on top of me had forced all the air out of my lungs.

"Duo! . . . I'm sorryI'm sorry." I groaned as the air refilled my lungs and the pain in the back of my head caused lights to flicker before my eyes.

"Uh . . ." I tried to speak but all I managed was another groan as my head spun. I could hear him apologizing still and I forced my throat to work sitting up on my elbows. " . . . ah . . .So' it's-" He was suddenly pressing of his mouth to mine. I jerked back, my head meeting the floor again as I pushed Solo away. I bit my tongue. Damn. Being thickheaded like our Mama meant nothing when you hit your head and man it doesn't hurt like the first time, no . . . just worse.

Solo made a distressed sound and the next thing I knew he was shaking me. I guess I blacked out. After blinking my eyes a couple of times, Solo stopped shaking me. I tried to focus and ended up staring into his face as he hovered above me, raised on his hands and knees as he straddled my hips. I think about his bruises and hope he wasn't in any pain. Solo looked away from my unfocused, assessing gaze and dropped his chin to his chest, his face ashen and flushed in dejection.

When I attempted to sit up, he bared down his weight on my shoulders, his hands clenched and his nails nipped at my skin through my pale blue tee.

"Duo . . . I . . . You can . . . " Solo wilted, that's the best way I can describe how he seemed to go into himself, but he kept me pinned as I looked up at him owlishly.

"I want . . ." He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Solo?" I felt like I was gonna puke, my head was spinning that bad. I couldn't even stay focused on the fact that Solo kissed me. He kissed _me_.

"Duo, I want you to . . .me. If you do, you can do what you want. It's th . . . only way, I know it won't hurt with you. Q-Quin said that I-I was g-good so I c-can makemoneyforus. I cangotooneofthe pimps-" My head started to settle from its intimate encounter with the floor but my thoughts were reeling once more when Solo's lowly spoken words echoed loudly in my ears.

"Wh- no, Solo, gawd NO." I said quickly wanting to sit up but not wanting to make him feel like I didn't care or was rejecting him further by pushing him away. That's what he would have thought I was doing, that I was rejecting him. I don't. . . damn. Something in me cringed and cried echoing the pain in Solo's hollowing voice and trembling form.

"I'm such a baby. Too weak to fight and now I'm nasty . . . you don't want me . . . he said that was ...all.. I was good for . . . why would anyone want to touch me aft - afta . .."

Dammit! Damn Quin for messing with Solo, for screwing with his head. I dunno how to handle this and I knew that if I don't do something soon he's gonna do something stupid, what did he say before . . . pimps! I surged forward, pushing him into my lap, holding him as tightly as I could. He didn't struggle to get free this time and I relaxed trying to put my thoughts together into sound like something that would help him, convenience him he didn't have to do anything like that. I groaned mentally, Mama would have handled this so much better.

"So' you ain't weak and we neva had to do that kind of stuff . . . to hurt each other like that to prove we care and love each other. It ain't ya fault. You don't have to go to those creeps on Broad, we'll always be together. Come on So', I don't and Mama wouldn't want you to do anything like that."

"How do you know! Mama . . . mama boiled water and when she washed me . . . s-she used it . . . so hot, it hurt but she scrubbed me anyway. She w- was so angry. She said I wasn't d-dirty . . . t-that it could be washed away. T-then why did she scrubbed me? Why did she burn me? I-it didn't go 'way. I-I still FEEL it . . . inside... on my skin...in my..."

"Shh..." I didn't want him to keep thinking about it. I shivered when he looked up at me with it all expressed in his eyes and I stared into them until I couldn't anymore. I pulled his head down to my shoulder as my mind put two and two together, telling me that was why he didn't want Mama to touch him? He was still going on, the look in his eyes mirrored the horror of what had happen to him and so much more of that was in his voice. I rocked us, holding him in my arms as I spoke, "Shhh... I-I dunno, I'm sure she didn't mean it . . . Mama loves you Solo, the same as me. Wait 'til she gets home we'll talk to her. She's gonna do everything she can to keep us together."

I squeezed him, never slowing my rocking motion even as my stomach clenched. "She's not angry with you or me, just br-Quin and," I think back to what I overheard of Mama's conversation with Hilde's mom and repeated part of it, "blames herself for not coming home sooner. For not being able to stop it-" like I failed to be there, my voice sounds strained even to myself without voicing that thought.

"Forget what he said. Don't . . . don't, well try not to think about what happen. Some people are bastards and . . . and br-Quin is a sick bastard. Gawd Solo I dunno what to say." And I really didn't, I just let my mouth spill all the things I was thinking. "I know, that ya ain't weak, I saw the busted lip and black eye you gave him. You did the best you could against someone bigger than you . . . on your own . . .I just wish . . .I wish I woke up . . . t-that he took me instead . . . gawd Solo I'm so sorry . . . If-f I was doing what I was suppos'da do br-Quin wouldn't have got you." Solo was silent and I could feel his heavy sobs against my chest. I buried my face in his hair. I was barely keeping it together, at least he wasn't as withdrawn anymore. He was talking. Gawd I just realized how much I missed my talkative twin. Together we could talk anyone into a stutter.

I felt a sharp pang in my chest and ended up inhaling a bunch of his hair, spitting it out as I coughed. He laughed a small laugh. I couldn't imagine a life without that sound. To think that... if he had succeeded in starving himself to death, no more Solo. I couldn't lose him. I'd . . . I dunno what I'd do without him. I pulled back and cupped his face in my hands to stare at him.

"Duo?" He fidgeted, letting me know that he was uncomfortable with my sudden attention. I knew it was such a strange thing for me to do, seeings how I had never done it before and for a second fear was in his eyes, then it was gone. Trust was there but what if I hadn't caught him?

"Duo?" He reached up and pinched my nose closed. I looked down at his hand with crossed eyes and he giggled.

"Yeah Solo?" Making my voice sound as nasal as possible to hear his laugh again. He released my nose and I continued to answer his unspoken question, "I'm ok . . .j-just . . . nothing. I-" A loud grumble interrupted me and I quirked a brow feeling my stomach, until we heard it again. Solo ducked his head in an attempt to hide his flushing cheeks. I grinned.

"Somebody's hungry." My smile faded as thoughts about how things were going to get rough now that Mama was the only one with work. I had saw her staring off one day and offered to get a job again and she snapped at me before I could even utter the word work. She apologized than said it more calmly that we would find a way.

"Let's get that sandwich out and I can make my special soup!" I said grinning from ear to ear when Solo blanched and shook his head in the negative. I laughed. I liked my special- you put a little of _everything_ in it - soup.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

That evening, Mama came home, went straight to the fridge, passing Solo snoozing on the couch and me drawing on the floor with my feet in the air to stow away leftovers from the diner. All too soon she was back, standing in front of me. I felt like I was in trouble just by the way her sandaled foot tapped on the carpeted floor before me.

"Duo why haven't you two been eating?" Oops did I forget to mention that I've been rationing my food so Mama and Solo could have more? I always ate so much, I felt that if I couldn't control how much I ate, we'd be starving because of me. I was more used to being hungry than Solo, the last time we were in this kind of situation, at five Solo really wouldn't eat much or half ate it so he didn't always feel the hunger. I saved the food before he made a mess over it and we got him to eat it the next day. But I guess the both of us not eating much was very noticeable.

I swallowed and gave her a quizzical look as she glared down at me. Her hands were on her hips, I could feel the heat of the glare on me. Mama was never good at glaring; the reprimanding glare was undone by her buttonish nose (the same nose that Solo has, I got Papa's upturned nose although I did inherit the buttonish size) and pursed lips, making that heated glare more of a fierce pout. I caved, I couldn't resist or lie to Mama and that's what it would've been (me nodding my head here).

"Solo stopped eating for a while mostly because of stomach pains (this was true) b -but he's eating now." I said brightly as Mama's pout lessen with a glance in Solo's direction. "I-I... well I thought it would be only fair that the one that ate the most um.. Cut back and it's kindalikepunishmentforfailingSolo." I said in one breath, dropping my head so that it hung down between my raised shoulders, touching my folded arms with my forehead. I felt her hand swipe at my bangs and then rub the top of my head.

"You don't need to be punished, honey. Quin was in the wrong . . ." I could hear the quiver in her voice again, "Eat Duo, honey, I don't want you two going hungry before we have a reason to be."

I had thought that Mama would say more but instead she went over to the couch where Solo lay breathing deeply with his head pillowed on his sleeved arms and his holey jean covered legs hanging off the couch. Mama's foot kicked his truck under the couch as she pivoted to sit. I watched as she lifted his arms and head to scoot beneath him. He didn't wake but unconsciously he curled up to her, fisting his hand in her work blouse and nuzzling the underside of her right breast as she cradled his head with her arm. This reminded of a picture from when he was a baby, Papa had taken it of him doing the exact same thing. Mama had told me that Papa had helped me write 'my baby brother' on the back of the photo when she found me looking through our cookie can of photos.

Even in Mama's arms, though, Solo began to whimper like he always would after the drugs wore off that first night -after about half an hour after he closed his eyes, if I didn't wake him fast enough he would start to scream silently like he had no voice and kick at me if I touched him too much. I was about to tell Mama that she should be careful and to wake him when she began to hum an old earth melody, rocking him in her arms. I watched as his grip on her blouse loosen and his knees unclenched as they slowly descended from mama's lap to her side. She ran her hand from his hip to his knee alternating between a soothing rub or pet. Mama's amazing.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

One month passed, it was now four weeks before the new school cycle began and we lost everything in one day. Solo was so much better, eating and smiling and being the chatter box that we were both proud to be. Sometimes if a guy that passed us came a little too close, Solo'd huddle closer to me until we got back home. I was happy though, he wasn't afraid of going to the toilet by himself any more. I can't explain it but I think it has something to do with one of his nightmares as of late. He wouldn't talk to me about it and I was not going to force him to.

I couldn't stay at home and Hilde's like that for those last few weeks. Besides, Mama said not to let Quin in, she didn't say that we couldn't go out. 'Kay? 'Kay. So when we weren't at 'Hild'abraugh's, I could never stop the snicker that always came out at the thought of the nicknames' inception. Man, I have to tell you the reason for it, we went to visit her one day. She left us in her room because her mom called her down, no doubt to tell her what she always told her when we came over - not to be coerced into anything sexual. I don't understand that lady. Me and Solo ain't no different from any other kid. It's wrong of her to think that since we're from the slums, that we did that kind of thing.

I sighed, the anger I had for that moment faded quickly and I was becoming bored. I know that if I'm for bored too long... mainly being left to my own devices, I get _creative_ which usually leads to something be destroyed to garner my freedom from boredom. I didn't want to get thrown out Hil's life because of my destructive tendencies so I gave myself free rein to go through her stuff and came across this strange thing. Well I didn't know what to call it, it was light blue, with two adjustable straps attached to two rounded triangular pieces of clothe. I thought perhaps they were earmuffs and Solo agreed then snatched it out of my hand. I groaned, he was back to his old habits again; then he put it on his head.

I examined it while he tried to hook the little wire clasps together. His lips were pursed together in concentration and his pale lashes looked like powder against his puffed peach cheeks. I tried to adjust the straps when it began to slide off his head as I thought back to those old, well ancient pre-colony movies about war and aviation. I wished I could have been a pilot back then, heck right now would be great. Well I remembered that the pilots had worn little black hat like things that strapped on with two raised surfaces on it, kinda like this thing. I was wondering aloud if Hilde's Papa had found it in the scrap, when Hilde came in and blushed so red I thought she couldn't breath or something. We protested when she came and took away the pilot cap and she grumbled as she put it in her dresser slamming the drawer shut. When she realized we didn't know what it was she fell on to her bed and groaned in relief. Solo was laughing at how red she was, asking why she took the earmuffs away and I went over to bug her to tell us what it was if it wasn't a pilot's cap or earmuffs.

"It's a bra." She mumbled into her pillow and I just looked at her testing the word in my mouth. Oh, Mama had one of those! Well lots of those, but I didn't know they came so small. I hadn't realized I had said that last bit out loud until Hilde lifted her head, her chin tilted inward so her ear-length locks fell forward in her face. "That's cause it's for me."

I burst out laughing and before she could hit me with the pillow I dashed to the same drawer she tucked the bra away in and wrapped it around my waist. . . after some consideration I pulled it higher up to my chest and chanted 'Hildabraugh' as she chased me around the room with pillow still in hand. Solo laughed so hard that he rolled around on the floor a bit, holding on to his sides. Man, I can't help but laugh at the memory. Anyways, when we escaped from home after Mama went to work, we went for little walks that usually led us to the church or the Park. We would only stay for a few hours and then head straight for home. Mama was still wary of b- Quin, even though she hadn't heard from him, I know she prayed that he would be ok. I hoped the same even though there's this part of me that wants him to pay for what he did to Solo, what he could've done to me. I hate being at odds with myself.

Today we decided to stay in and play hide and seek. I had just found Solo and was in the process of tickling him into submission when we heard footsteps cease outside the door to our apartment. We stilled, hearing the familiar jingle of keys and readied ourselves to pounce on Mama when the door stopped opening. It was still and we couldn't hear anything at first. I got up and went to door to hear the hushed murmur of voices: Mama's and a man's, the landlord dude's. Their voices became clearer as I moved closer to the door.

". . . I'm sorry Ms. Maxwell, but the rent was due last month and you weren't able to pay it in full and it's same thing this month."

"I know Mr. Hastings, I'm looking for another job. I appreciate your patience, it's harder to pay for everything now . . . now that my oldest is gone."

"Yes, yes. I understand that Ms. Maxwell but unfortunately I 'ave bills I must pay as well and a new boss that's coming down on me 'ead when the money isn't right." I could hear the hesitation in his voice as he continued, "there isn't much I can do when 'e makes a decision. Tell yah wah Ms. Maxwell, I'll hold this apartment and all yah things in it, storing it for yah with the money for this month and last months' rent to cover the cost of storage. But unfortunately you and yours will 'ave to move out."

"Mr. Hastings!"

"Ms. Maxwell I'm truly, deeply sorry." I peeked around the door to see the creamy complection of a balding seventy something man look at Mama with pleading blue greys. I could see the strain in his face as he kept up his management/all business no-nonsense facade but his eyes gave away the compassionate person he was, the one who helped us out all those years ago when we first moved in. "This place will be 'ere for as long as it takes you to find that second job and I want yah to keep in touch with me and tell me 'ow-" He glanced down to meet my wide purple eyes as I peeked up at him from around the door and spoke more softly as he continued, "...'ow you and the boys are doing."

"But I can't see why you can't let us stay until then? My boys behave themselves and don't disturb the other residents while I'm at work." She paused, giving our door a considerate look before continuing, "Were there any complaints? If they-"

He held up his hands forestalling any further pleas and questions from Mama and brought that hand back to his side, balling it up into a fist. "You 'ave yourself some good boys there Ms. Maxwell, you _are_ a good person, but we 'ave to consider yah other bills? If you leave I can help yah put it all on 'old, because you won't be on the premises then they can't continue to bill you and new management can't say that you are still 'ere and deny you access to your 'ome when you come back."

"Besides, I'm sure the good Father wouldn't mind-'"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you're right." She cut him off quickly with a wave of her hand.

"Thank you for doing what you could and your advice. When . . . when do you want us to go."

"To-," he bit his lip, "by tomorrow night, Ms. Maxwell. 'e wanted me to evict you this morn while you were at work and have your things moved out by night fall."

"You mean thrown out." She corrected icily.

He conceded to that correction with a nod of his head. "But I refused to, it just ain't right to kick people down on their luck." He shook his head and looked back at Mama. Her head was bowed but she met his eyes and gave him a thankful smile.

"Okay." She said simply and I stumbled back to where Solo was still perched on the floor. We were going to be homeless. I knelt down beside Solo and he asked me what I had heard but I couldn't get my mouth to work. I knew I was scaring him but I couldn't help it, I was scared myself. I hugged him in hopes it would reassure him in place of my silence and I could feel him breathing faster as he hugged me back. Mama came in with a glum air that made her smiling face fierce. She saw us on the floor, dropped the facade and joined us there, hugging us close. She knew I heard by the look on my face and that Solo hadn't by the familiar but fearful curiosity that gleamed in his eyes.

"Mama, what's happening?" He asked when I was remained silent.

"Don't worry babies, we'll just go and stay with your uncle. I don't want us to be a bother to him so be on your best behavior." She mumbled more to herself than to us.

"Why are we going over to stay at uncle's?" He asked innocently, tilting his head to side to look up at Mama.

"We are being evicted... Solo, honey, I need to find another job and once I have it, we'll come back home."

"Ev-evit..." He scrunched up his face adorably, taking in the new word before his face fell in understanding. "We . . . we are going to be homeless." Solo looked at the both of us with wide eyes.

"Not homeless, we're just going to stay with your Uncle." I was relieved that Mama repeated that quickly because I feared that Solo was going to pass out from the way he was breathing. We were going to stay with Uncle, but I could hear the defiance in her voice still. She wanted to keep our home. She didn't want to go to Uncle.

"No no, honey, we'll still have our home but we won't be able to come back until I get that other job. Ok? You understand, Solo, honey?"

Solo nodded and the tension in his small frame slowly disappeared.

"Come hell or high water, boys, we Maxwells don't give up." It was an echo from years back, which Mama has proven to be true with her persistence and character. I've even heard Father Maxwell saying it out of his habit and collar, one day when we were painting the church. Without those things he was still uncle and priest, a family man and a fighter... a man, nonetheless, that I wonder if my Papa was similar to.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

We packed our bookbags with about three pairs of pants and as many shirts we could get in them. Mama had one of those small pulley suitcases and Solo and I eyed it at the same time. We grinned and tested it to see who could fit inside. It was too cramped for me but Solo fit perfectly inside. When I heard Mama coming back to the room, I tried to get him to come out of it but he pretended to be a sleep. So I put some of Mama's folded clothes on top of him and made sure he was covered completely. Mama began putting her clothes in and arched a brow when it wouldn't go down. I couldn't hold in my snicker and when Mama glanced my way and saw my eyes filled with mirth. Then her attention was brought back to the suitcase when a snicker came from it. She looked back to me with a grin on her face.

"I wonder why my clothes won't go down?" She queried and I snickered when the clothes shifted. "Gotcha!" Mama plunged her hands along the sides of the suitcase and tickled Solo. I jumped on the bed, joining her and soon he was flopping out of the suitcase in a fit of giggles. We felt a little more at ease, everything was far from normal but I felt that no matter how bad things got, it wouldn't take away our happiness.

It was hard to say bye to our home even if it wasn't going to be for a long time. Father Maxwell and Sister Helen welcomed us and showed us to two small rooms upstairs. They put us in our room first and we peeked out the door to see that mama's room was across from us. We both felt strange not being able to share a room with Mama so we decided we go over to pester into letting us sleep with her. Surprisingly enough, she had been waiting for us to come. We cuddled up to her and fell asleep in moments. I woke, ensconced in warmth, feeling too warm and stretched out to find our cramped positions on the narrow bed wasn't so cramped anymore. I opened my eyes and saw why, Mama was slipping on her work shoes and was already out her bedroom door in her uniform. Within seconds, I could hear her going down the stairs before I could open my mouth to call her back. I guess she took up another shift at the diner 'cuz she worked only during the day since what happen with Solo.

Two weeks slowly passed and Mama was edgy again. I stayed up one night when I overheard her conversation with uncle. She was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep an eye on us, keep us safe while watching the other fifteen kids in the orphanage. Uncle was silent in his reply and I guess I was too tired to stay awake to hear more because the next thing I was aware of was being lifted. I rubbed at my heavy eyes to find the uncle smiling down at me.

"Hmm curiosity got the better of you and sleep foiled your get away pickpocket." His warm smile makes me more comfortable and I try to look innocent at his comment about my thievery. Even though Mama had the money now from her job, Father Maxwell and sister Helen didn't accept what she would give to them without argument. They didn't have enough though, the made due with what they had but that was going to be harder with the four orphans me and Solo helped Uncle bring in from a abandoned shop near Broad. We couldn't just leave them there, not in the Red-light district where anything goes. I . . . well I felt responsible for them and I wanted to help, so I stole. I was pretty good at it, backtracking and using alley ways to get away easily. I took money from the rich bloaks near the school and would leave it in the contribution basket, thinking no one would be the wiser. So how did he know!

Still not quite awake I was surprised to hear him chuckle. Did I say that out loud?

"Yes you did." He tapped my nose. "I saw you one morning but don't do it anymore. If I knew who you took the money from I would have returned it. That was a lot of money Duo. You put yourself in danger and the other children when you do such things." At the sad expression on my face his stern look lighten, he shifted me to rest against his hip and my head rested on his shoulder when he stroked my bangs from my eyes. "I fear that your Mother was right when she questioned my ability to keep an eye on you boys. Lord knows how happy I am to have you all here, but I wish it were under better circumstances. I've missed my family dearly... Do you know how much like Aiden you are?" A wry chuckle followed before he was silent, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to answer. I knew little of Papa's life before Mama and it would be nice to know but I was too sleepy to stay awake to remember what he said if he went into tales about Papa. I answered anyway with a few nods of my head. "It doesn't matter right now, lets get you to bed. I'm surprised you're without your shadow tonight?"

" . . .'e sleeping." Came my half mumbled reply. Father chuckled, shaking his head. The trip to our room was all too short, I was comfortable and fisted my hands in his habit when he tried to put me down on the bed where Solo lay. I felt, more than heard his laugh to this and he sat with me in his arms and hummed a hymnal until my hands went slack. I felt a soft pressure atop my head before he deposited me on the bed beside my brother. I was inching my way back to wakefulness as he tucked me in and he soothed me back to sleep, rubbing my back through the covers.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

School was in progress and being at the church most of the time was hard to say the least. We watched as other kids left for school while we stayed and helped around the Church. When we asked Mama why we weren't going too, she didn't explain and Father Maxwell didn't argue with her over it. It seemed it was something that they had discussed beforehand and Mama had won the argument. I had my own sources though; Hilde told me that there was a fee to go to school. She had asked our history Teach when I told her that we couldn't go. I never knew that. I never thought you had to pay to go to school. Since school started, Mama would either bring us to work with her if she worked mornings or we end up at the Park. The Park was the place for us, there was something about it. This little part of the colony was living and breathing all on its own! It survived the weather controller's demented play with the weather, especially the rain and we always felt safe there.

One day, before Mama had to head to work, we swung by the apartment to see if we could get some more clothes. I went straight for the door, I saw Mama raise a hand halfway to motion me to wait but it dropped to her side. I tried to the door and then tried my key. It was locked. What else was I expect? I thought that since it was still ours our key would still work, but I saw then I was wrong to assume so much. Solo was standing beside me and he tried the knob too. I bet we looked like lost pups when Mama came over with Mista Hastings. He patted our shoulders affectionately. Mama came up behind us, resting one hand on top of Solo's head and the other came to my shoulder, pulling us closer to her.

Once we had our things, Mama took us back to the church but left behind her tote bag. Me and Solo decided that she needed it, she always carried it so it mustuve been important. We left the church and neither Uncle nor Sister noticed and started our long walk to Mama's job. It wasn't evening yet but light was fading fast, so we ran. Solo didn't seem scared or anything, I was proud of him. We were on a mission and we were going to complete it. We ignored the looks of interest, we were used to it by now. Growing up in the slums of L2 we knew, Mama knew what went on out here and that we needed to be alert. Together we could do anything and we were sure that we'd give better than we got if we had to fight.

Mama was in the back and the shop owner was in front, Mista T, serving coffee when his shadowed brown eyes saw us. He smiled and we gave ear-to-ear grins back. Mission complete. He admonished us for coming all the way over here on our own and took Mama's bag to the back. He gave us both a piece of apple pie, mmm . . . and told us to stay seated and eat. We woulduve kepts our table too if a bunch of these older kids hadn't come in. They crowded around the bar, so mista T didn't see when five of them came over to our table. They sneered at us and we ignored them, Solo kicking his feet back and forth, trying to stay calm. The next thing we knew, we were pushed out of our seats. One was a big kid, a little younger than Quin by the looks of him and Solo stepped behind me. His hand clenched the back of my shirt but his face remained blank. I didn't like that look. I cursed the guy and waved my fist at him while the other held my pie. He gestured down to me with an extravagant wave of his hand. "Lookit da lil' faery." A few laughs followed. He reached out to push or grab me, I couldn't tell which, I narrowed my eyes at him and smacked his hand away.

"Fuck off! We were here first." I scowled at him.

He smirked, fanning his hand and then curled it into a fist at his side trying to hide the red bruise I left. He sniffed his nose at me when he spoke again. "Tough lil bitch ain't _she_." I think I growled, _I ain't no girl_... he smirked. "Betcha _she_'d like it if we bend _her_ over-"

A kick to his stomach sent him kneeling to the floor and we hauled ass like Mama took the belt to us. We could hear the laughter and a stray comment of "...that little guy has bigger balls than you BJ." We eventually started laughing, slowing, to look at the mushed mess of pie in our hands. We walked until our breathing settled then finished our hand pies.

We were half way to the church, when a man in an expensive looking car pulled along the side walk. We ignored him and kept walking but we could still hear the slow crunch of debris underfoot as the car rolled near the side walk behind us. Whenever we walked I always kept Solo on the safest side, so like now I'm nearest to the street. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I scrubbed my hand clean on my pants and had it near Solo's arm just incase I needed to push him out the way if we weren't fast enough. We turned a corner and thought the dude had lost interest, only to hear a few revs of the engine behind us. We turned to look at each other, just as the tires began to squeal, we looked back to see him barrelling towards us. We broke into a run and I ducked down as he made a swipe at me. I turned, running backwards, Solo a few steps ahead of me to see the man's hand swing backwards toward his car. I brought up my foot and kicked his open car door. I righted my self and continued to run, the only indication that I had slowed him down a little was his pained curse which I guess was for barely saving himself from amputation as he swerved and the tires sounded to a screeching halt.

We kept running in any direction. I made sure I didn't run faster than Solo and pulled him forward if he lagged.

I brought us to a stop, the simulated light made things look darker and the temperature was dropping... wait it _was_ getting darker and shit! We were farther from the church than before. One thing we were both glad about was losing that sicko. I climbed up a nearby fire escape to get my bearings, jumping down the four feet from the latter, I started us in the direction I hoped would get us back to the church before light was completely gone. In all my wandering, I had never been out this late without big Bro and even then it was only for a few minutes. Kids were never out here around this time of night, even the homeless ones knew better.

We quickened our pace toward the church. I had to stay calm, freakin' was not an option and sure as hell wouldn't help Solo. We turned a corner and there he was, standing with his suit jacket draped over one arm an a smile across his broad, pasty face. I think I hate corners now. We took off with him right behind us, his long legs giving him the upper hand.

My world jerked backward when pinpricks of pain blistered out from the back of my head and through my back. I dunno how long I laid there. But the attempt I made to catch myself was clear by the throbbing heat in my palms and the ache in my neck from this awkward angle. My last thoughts before I was yanked upward was that of how happy I was Solo got away.

(end Duo POV)

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

Solo slid to a stop, turning at the sound his brother's yelp of pain as the well dressed man levered him up by his braid and pulled his arm behind his back while Duo's free hand scrabbled and clawed at the hand that held his braid tightly fisted. Solo froze, flashes of the pain he felt... the humiliation and rapes he endured at his brothers' hands hitting him hard as his gaze remained fixed on the scene before him. The man had forgotten about him and pushed Duo up against the grimy alley wall, pressing his body against Duo's backside trapping Duo's arm at his back. Duo made a pained sound but pursed his lips so the man wouldn't have the satisfaction of hearing him whimper.

"No, scream for me. Little street trash like you always make it so much better when you scream." He whispered, his breath thick with the poignant smell of cigarettes awashed in his expensive cologne. Duo knew no one would come before it was too late if he were to scream for help. If he could get his other arm free. . . "I thought that I would get the little blonde one, what is it they say . . . blondes are more fun." He laughed, grinning against Duo.

Duo bit his lip trying to breathe and not scream out in pain as the movement jerked his imprisoned arm back and upward, straining his muscles. The tips of his shoes barely touched the paved alley way as he used his knees and the pressure against his back to try and free his arm.

While Duo struggled to find purchase enough to get his arm free, the blonde comment had him thinking of Solo, he looked out the corners of his eyes trying to see if his brother was gone. He was hoping that he knew how to get back to the church, praying to a God he didn't call upon often, that he would make it back and be safe. He knew he was hoping for too much with the failing light and chilled air that met parts of his exposed skin.

"Oh yea, keep struggling... pushing me harder against that tight ass. Maybe I was wrong about you. Do you know how to pleasure a man little boy?" The man's voice became huskier as he forced his hand down the front of Duo's pants and squeezed his genitals to push him back against his upward thrust.

Duo screamed and then bit his lip to muffle it. It hurt. It hurt damn it and he knew that it wasn't going to be the worst of it if he couldn't get free of his hold.

The man laughed. "I guess not."

The man leaned down and licked the shell of Duo's ear and then whispered, "I knew I'd catch one of you. I dared hoped both, then I would have taken one home... for awhile." His words trailed off as if in thought. "What is that little one to you? Hmm? Perhaps he'll come back and I'll leave you out in the open and he'll think- AHH!"

Duo squeezed his eyes shut, the scream in his ear hurt but he had space. He hurt his knees but the bulky guy moved as pushed them against the ragged bricks. The man pulled his hand out of Duo's pants and began to wiggle furiously behind him. Duo freed his arm and dug his nails into the hand that held his braid still, kicking backward at the man's crotch. His kick hit home but not before he was thrown face first into the wall. He slide down the wall to his feet, his hand dropping to hold the front of his pants as he swayed along the wall before placing a hand on it to brace himself. He turned his head slowly to see the man kneeling on one knee and Solo with an arm around his thick neck, repeatedly stabbing the man in his back with part of a broken bottle.

Duo took shaky steps toward them. He needed to help Solo, but he was too slow, the man recovered from his shock from Duo's kick and Solo's first stab with a deep shaky breath. His eyes locked on Duo's as he reached behind him, plucked Solo from his back as if he were lent and flung him toward Duo. Duo saw Solo coming and had little time to react. The moment his brothers' head collided with his chest, he wrapped his arm around him, taking the brunt of the fall. They rolled several times before skidding to a stop with a reverberating 'phung' against an industrial sized trash compactor.

Pieces of trash floated around the still bodies, a pained groan echoing in the alleyway. Duo pushed him up on wobbly arms with Solo nestled beneath him. He looked him over, he was bruised and bloody, he couldn't tell how much of the blood was Solo's, the man's or his own. 'At least he is a live,' Duo thought before turning his head to cough since he couldn't get his hand to his face fast enough- blood and spittle splattered the graying green of the trash compactor. His head was ringing, something in him moved that shouldn't with each pained breath he took. Duo struggled to focus. His senses and instincts dully-screamed danger, that the man was up again and coming for them. He tried to rub feeling into the arm that had been wrenched behind him earlier, unaware of the thick warmth that flowed down the side of his face and the bloody trail from his nose.

Duo shook Solo, trying to wake him. He glanced up to see the man limping over to them, dropping the bloody glass he pulled from his back and crushing it with his booted foot. Duo put one arm around Solo's waist and pushed himself to his feet. That was a bad idea. He almost collapsed, catching himself on the cold rim of the rusting compactor and nearly lost his grip on Solo. He tried again but settled for crawling with one hand, while the other strained to hold onto Solo.

Suddenly, Solo jerked and screamed. Solo was forced from his arms and Duo caught the glint of steel and fell on top of his brother catching the from the steel toed shoe in his side.

"Fuck! You little shits!" He kicked at Duo and then at Solo when Duo moved involuntarily from the force of the man's kicks. "Never had this much trouble for a piece of ass . . ." The man breathed heavily, leaning forward with his hands resting on his knees. His eyebrows arched into his hairline when he saw Duo struggle to pull his brother away again.

"If you'd left the little shit then you'd probably would have gotten away with your life . . ." He spat bloody phlegm in Duo's path, he didn't understand why he had just said that, why offer the urchin a way out. There was something about the boys' persistence that irked him and he wanted to possess it. He wanted to break it down.

He'd come here after work looking for a little action, the prostitutes on the corner didn't even interest him. He was looking for a challenge, something cleaner than them. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt after he removed his tie. He watched the boy a little longer before walking into his path. He used the toe of his shoe to push Duo off of Solo to land with a muffled splash in an unseen black puddle. Duo opened dazed eyes, one only half opening and the man's sharp intake of breathe echoed in the alley. He leaned down grabbing Duo's chin and forcing his face back up to him. Duo squinted in pain but the man forced his eyes open, pulling back the lid over his right eye. He then angled his head in the fading light, seeing it catch in Duo's eyes. After he got tired of those small hands clawing at his own, he threw Duo back down beside his brother. Duo's back arched up in pain at the impact.

"With eyes like those, I would've sold you after I was done. Maybe after I had the little blond one too. Your brother? Have to be if you care so much to die for him." He unconsciously shook his head. "You two could've had a place instead of being on the streets, spitfires like you are good commodities. I was going to do you that favor but . . ." His smiled maliciously, flicking the on switch behind the machine, the whirl of motors and the reverberating 'vrrr' of its shifting gears had the man patting its graying top. "This machine here should make nice bloody smears of you and you know what . . . it's night and no one cares about street trash like you."

The man picked up Duo by the base of his braid stopping him from getting up and trying again to getaway with his brother. The sound from the compactor woke Solo. His vision doubled, he gritted his teeth against the nausea and clutched at Duo's shirt. When next he opened his eyes, he saw Duo leaving him and in panic he surged up, managing to get an arm around Duo's waist and holding his grip on his shirt. A barely audible 'no' fell from his lips before the man brought the heel of his hand down on his head. Solo fell backward into the compactor, slumping down it to sit, stunned with blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. The man dragged Duo a foot away and then threw him down to the alley floor. He watched the boy spit blood and pant as it seeped down the corner of his mouth. The man eyed the boys' lips before he pounced on him. Duo struggled as the man laughed, taking hold of his hands and tying them with ease to the pole of the dull streetlight above him.

He bit Duo's ear hard enough to hurt but not hard to leave incriminating marks as he whispered, "You can't stop yourself from screaming now." The man's sky blue eyes took on a more menacing light in the darkness of the alley as he turned to grin at Solo. "I hope you enjoy the show."

He ripped Duo's shirt and trousers open with two hard jerks. Duo fought him, bucking at the hand on his butt and snapping his teeth when the man tried to kiss him. The man only cackled and struck him across the face, then again with his fist. Duo went limp, his head snapping to right with the last hit. His vision swam before then cleared enough for his dazed eyes to focus on the alley entrance, away from the man, away from Solo and the freedom it presented. He felt a heavy heat against his thigh when his legs were yanked up. He tried to offer up resistance, but his limbs were listless and his darkening vision made him used all he had to stay awake... he had to, he feared the man would turn to Solo if he passed out. He let his eyes shut at the feel of rough lips against his chest and tensed at the sound of a meaty 'wham.' The lips disappeared with a gust of heated breath across his chest. He jerked at the resounding thud that followed.

"Ah fu..." Came the groan, it was the man but whatever else he was going to say was cut off by another a whack.

Heavy breathing filled the alley, then a gasp followed. Duo could hear Solo crying. His heart leapt into his throat, he prayed that when he opened his eyes he didn't see the man molesting Solo. He turned his head in the direction of Solo's whimper and opened his eyes, trying to ignore the greying edges in his vision. Solo was rubbing his side and scrubbing his eyes with a balled up fist. 'Shesh it looked like it hurt,' Duo thought absently. Then Solo was crawling over to him. He was ok. He was ok... but he wondered where the man was. He was having trouble keeping his left eye open but he turned his head, as much as his trapped braid beneath him would allow, to where he had heard the sounds before.

A lone figure stood, apron askew, chest heaving but the breathing sound in the alley didn't match the rise and fall of her chest. The bat bounced lightly in her hand as if she was considering using it again. It was surreal the way the dingy light made Jadea seem huge to Duo. He figured it was probably because he was on the ground and due to his brain being mush after being used like a jackhammer's toy. He knew, though, that he wasn't dreaming by the look of unmitigated rage that consumed her face.

Jadea kicked the man in the side, nudging him with the wooden bat she had taken from the diner when she ran helter-skelter out in search of her boys. She remembered the grim look the diner owner, Travis, had once the crowd left and her sons were nowhere to be seen. He told her that the boys were passing the time eating the pie he had given them. They checked the bathroom to be sure. They weren't there. And in that moment, all Jadea could feel was her pounding heart. She knew her boys had a habit of getting into trouble but they would've stayed put unless something happened.

Her throat clenched so tight, she thought that she was being strangled. It was already dark out when she stormed after them, bat in hand, ignoring Travis' call to her. She knew the owner was following her but he was much older and his weight hindered him from keeping pace with her. She appreciated him for caring but she had to find them now. She was about turn to backtrack to the diner and check the alleys there when she heard the sound of a machine. 'This late at night?' She thought following the sound, they were near the docks but too far to hear any of the machines that were often used there. She tried to ignore the panicked voice telling her that it was too late... that whoever took her boys was long gone and she'd never see them again, as she made her way to the sound.

What she saw in the alley made her blood run cold and she was a flurry of action as her anger rose.

She shook her head, dropping the bat after she realized the labored breathing was from Travis, entering the alley in a half run. 'He must have followed the sound too,' She thought distantly, turning from the still figure lying on the ground to her sons. She looked into their bruised faces, barely making it to Duo before her knees gave out. With a deep frown, she began trying to untie Duo's bound hands. Her eyes trailed down his bruised bear chest and her efforts with the knotted piece of cloth soon became frantic as she took in the blood, more bruising and his bare hips. Tearing at the cloth, she didn't notice her tears raining down on her half naked, semiconscious son.

"Shit!" The store owner said torn between wanting to come to help Jadea and not wanting to leave the unconscious man unguarded.

She reached out one hand to brush Solo's cheek, looking him over critically while her other hand yanked the knots in frustration. The knots were done so well, as if the man had done them dozens of times before. She put her thoughts on that away when she noticed the rising lump on Solo's head. She brought her hand up behind his head and gazed intently into his eyes, the pupils were even. She exhaled heavily in relief, a 'schnick' that echoed in the alley and she jumped at the sudden thump against her shoe. She was hesitant to turn her attention away from her boys, but she did look down at her foot. She gave Travis a sad, if not grateful, smile for sending her his switch blade.

She tried to keep the panic out of her voice as she made quick work of the knots on Duo's wrists. "Duo? Duo, honey, stay awake ok? Can you hear me?"

Duo whimpered in response, his hands lying limply over his head as he tried to lift them, wanting to get up. He shook with the effort and Jadea bit her lip. "Shhh, it's ok. He won't be up and 'bout for some time. Stay still." Duo continued to struggle and whimper trying to move. Jadea saw the fear she felt reflected on Solo's pale face and she wanted so desperately to hold Duo and through touch let him know that it was ok if... if he couldn't hear her. Forgetting herself, she pulled him up to a sitting position by his shoulders. Duo's scream almost made her let go as he slumped in her hold.

"Dammit!" She couldn't tell if she had said it or if it was Travis, but she felt sick with herself for causing her son more pain. Travis was by her side in an instant as Jadea carefully laid the limp form in her hands across her lap.

"DUO!" Solo screamed about to grab onto Duo but was stopped by Jadea's hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her owlishly and then crawled over to her side, leaning against her as he hiccupped quietly, tearless sobs and held Duo's cold hand.

It felt like hours had passed and she didn't want to move Duo. She couldn't accept that Duo could die if they didn't get him to a hospital but she didn't have a phone on her and the slums never heard of anything called a payphone. If they were in this section of the colony, they would bring more harm than good.

" . . . I don't give a flying fuck what sector I'm calling from. You get your lazy arses down here and do your GODDAMN JOB! If this boy dies, I swear to God not only will that precinct be sued for not doing their job I'll make every day a living hell!" Jadea started. 'Had Travis been on the phone the entire time?' She thought that shock had set in when she didn't respond more than she had to Travis normally calm voice's harshness. Travis wasn't an all important person like the those who had money often thought they were, but he knew people and could call in favors if he had to. He had a commanding personality and it worked well for him when he had to put his foot down on an issue. It was clear that he would do anything possible not to see Duo die.

"Y-yes sir. Their eta is 10 mins. The ambulance, 8."

"Tell them to hurry the hell up, we don't have time like that!" Before the dispatcher could respond, Travis snapped his cell phone shut.

Jadea, stroked Duo's blood clumped bangs, not really paying attention to anything else. She pressed her thumb over a shallow gash over Duo's left brow, stanching it some but it continued to bleed, slipping pass her thumb in slower drops. It made her feel somewhat useful and stopped her from giving in to the silent tears that streamed down her face. She didn't want to know how far the man had gotten with Duo. She didn't think she could handle it. Not now.

She tried to pull his torn shirt close and his pants and shorts back up on his bruised hips, then settled herself against the pole of the street light. She stared up at the colony ceiling where the simulated sky flickered enough to see the outlines of the panels that made it up. She couldn't lose another one. She didn't know if she could bounce back this time, if she could keep going for Solo's sake if Duo . . . she squeezed her eyes shut, adding more tears to the steams on her face. She relaxed her eyes, letting the pressure leave them but kept them closed. She felt Solo tremble beside her, She focused on his hitched breaths, trying to ignore how unnaturally still Duo was becoming.

Tbc...

Comments, Criticisms, Reviews are appreciated, craved and sought after. To all those who have reviewed, thank you for your support, it keeps me writing when I find myself aloss for words.


	6. persuasion

Disclaimers: The use of Gundam Wing or the characters therein does not ching ching for me, the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. Nor do I own or have any rights over 'In the shadows' it's all The Rasmus!

Warnings: POV shifts, angst (surprise! not this chapter, well not much), a longer chapter, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: . . .

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

_italics_ song lyrics (grin)

Denial

by priscel

six - persuasion

(Duo POV)

Everything was bright. My throat hurt, my tongue felt like it was a huge bland lima bean that I couldn't spit out and I could only open one eye. Man did everything hurt! I was waking up a little more, everything was slowly coming to focus- I felt groggy and weighed down. There is this plastic thing in my nose and its very cold. I'm breathing the chill in and I hear this constant 'khee'.

That's all I can hear for a while before I try to move, I instantly regret it because dry heaved against this thing in my mouth and dizziness overwhelms me. I come to again and I realize that I can't move my arms. I panic. I hear this beeping sound speed up as my breathing becomes more erratic, and I begin to struggle with the straps. No wonder it's so bright, I'm in a white room. My movement warms me enough to realize that I'm not only cold but I'm wearing less than I remembered having on. I gasp then gag when there's suddenly a face over mine with a white mask on. I try to scream but gag around the tube in my throat. 'Where had the man taken me? What had he done to Solo!'

"Damn he came from under it again. Hey kid . . . Kid! Calm down, everything's ok." I look back at the male in white in fear and stopped moving. I control my breathing and the man turns to look at where the erratic beeping is coming from, I feel a small prick of pain and he wiped a part of my arm . . . at least I think it's my arm, with something wet and the sharp smell of it hits my nose. He then walked away from the bed. I immediately start struggling again and he rushed back over, "Quit that kid, you're going to pull out the IV again!" He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down, his head was close enough for me to head butt him. And I did, my forehead meeting the bridge between his nose and brow.

"Damn it! Chris!" He released me and rubbed at his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners letting me know he was grimacing in pain. Another one shows up and they both stalk toward me to try and hold me down. I'm breathing harder, I can feel my hands balled up into fists ready to try and do something as they get closer. Fuck, my ribs hurt.

"What are you two doing!" I hear something drop to the floor as they bear their weight down on me and I continue to struggle.

"The little sh- kid, head butted me when I was checking on him." I see him gesture toward me, his hand coming up to rub his nose.

"Back off, do you not see that he's becoming more agitated? You are nurses, Dios Mio, you should not be handling a situation like this _this_ badly." There was a pause then, the murmur continued. "Chris, go get his Mother. Now!" I really couldn't make out what the third person was saying because I was too distracted by fear. Nothing was familiar and I knew I was the only one in this room. I'm confused as hell trying to understand why was I taken away from them? I could feel myself shaking as unbidden, heat welled up in my eyes.

The other person in white was back with a needle in his hands. I jerked against the straps to try and pull my arm closer to me.

"It's a mild sedative to calm him." He said as he tilted the needle to excise the air inside and bringing the tip to the capillary on the IV.

"I thought I told you to get the boys' Mother!" The one in blue walks over to the white-covered one and glares, pulling down her little mouth covering.

"She's coming but we can't have him hurting himself while we wait for her."

"You know procedure! If I wanted him to be sedated then I would have asked for you to bring me one at my prescribed dosage. He's disoriented, he is _my_ patient and _I_ say that he doesn't require it." Snapped the one in light blue, her words coming through the fog in my aching head. I glance over at her and she glares at the nurse until he hands her the needle. When they moved away from me I take a look around, somehow reassured by the lady in blue's presence. There's a heart monitor hooked up to me and some sort of pump . . . I look around again and it finally clicks that I'm in a hospital. I've never seen one or been in one outside of TV and the school nurse's office. I knew that I would be doing my best stay out of these places as much as possible. I turned to my right to see the one in blue pick up something, and I strain my neck to see that it was a clipboard. She smiled at me when she caught me staring at her pretty face.

"Hey there." She hesitantly reached out to brush my bangs out of my face. "Everything is fine, you're safe and both your mother and brother are here. You are in ICU and that's why they aren't here with you right now. I bet this is all strange to you little guy, but I can tell you it is for me too. I've never had a patient who kept coming out from under the anaesthetic while in surgery. Especially, a little guy like you." I glared at her. I'm not that little and her smile grew. "You had us all scared when you went into a coma . . . I need to ask you some questions, just nod yes or no. Do you know your name? Who you are?"

" . . . " I stared, nodding slowly, I dunno if it was a yes or no kind of nod, it may have been both because she snickered at my confusion and I stared at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"You are too adorable." She snickered again at my glare; I am not adorable. I know that word is associated with cute and I'm not that either. I try to pout with my head tilted so my nose pointed upward, but the tube in my mouth ruined the effect and I felt silly instead of indignant.

She chuckled. " I'll take that as a yes. I need to check your eyes. Now look away from the light, ok?"

I nod.

"The tubes will come out later today, if you've been conscious this long under the duress you've just experienced, I think it's quite safe to remove the tubing." Been conscious this long . . . It didn't make sense to me what she was talking about.

She touched the closed lid of my left eye, opening it. Dammit! It's too bright! I didn't know it had been bandaged before. She doesn't stop when I try to turn away from her, instead she attempted to distract me by answering my unspoken question. "As I said, a little while ago, you've been in a coma."

That's right she had said that and I got distracted by the 'little' comment.

"It's been three months . . . " She stopped herself and smiled down at me, unhooking the respirator. I felt like she wasn't telling me something. I doubt that her telling me now would sink in, whatever medicine crap they were giving me made my head feel like it was packed with cotton balls. I hated it. I didn't feel in control. I'm definitely not going to make going to hospitals a regular thing. In fact I'm tempted to pull out that damn IV thing. My thoughts were interrupted when she continued as she gently prodded my eyebrow and the side of my head, "You've healed well, the swelling over your eye is almost gone and you should be able to open it."

I opened it cautiously, and then looked to her. "Wonderful, your eyes are both focusing well. Hmm did you know you have speckles of blue that ring and merge with the violet of your eyes? You're going to have girls drop at your feet with just a blink from those beauties."

I can feel myself blush and she smiled some more.

"We're moving you down stairs to another room. Your family'll see you there." Unstrapping my bandaged wrists, she signaled one of the nurses to come and help her rub circulation back into them. I can't help how soothing it is. I feel sleep creeping up on me again and I try to fight it but I've exhausted my self dealing with those blockheads from earlier and fall into a half doze.

(End Duo POV)

- - - xXxXx- - -

The door opens and Jadea is the first to step in with Solo trailing behind her. Solo looked around and noticed that Duo wasn't alone in the room. In the opposite bed close to the window with the curtains half drawn was a teenaged boy. He was gaunt looking with strange colored eyes; they were too green but not, teal, with a yellow tinge to them. The older boy had red spots all over him and Solo wondered if he had the pox (1). Solo started when he realized the boy was staring back at him as he wiped his face with a towel. He turned it toward Solo so he could see the pinkish smear across it. Solo looked at him with a puzzled expression as a nurse stepped over and stopped their stare off by pulling the curtain close.

"Doctor Lupe? You . . . Duo!" Solo started again, his attention brought back to his brother and Mother who spoke with the doctor.

Jadea nearly threw the doctor on her butt when she saw Duo without all the excess tubing and wiring, she probably would have too if the doctor hadn't gotten up in time. Hilde bounded into the room and Solo ran to the other side of the bed and latched onto Duo. Duo woke, wheezing as he patted the soft strawberry blond hair beneath his chin.

"Solo. Air. Please." He chocked out and Solo sniffled, easing off his clutching of him and buried his head beneath his chin and in his neck.

The nurse left and the doctor followed, with a smile, saying quietly that if they needed anything to buzz the nurses. After the tears dried up and the excited chatter died down, Duo became restless. He grimaced as he tried to talk, his throat was sore and dry, making it difficult to talk. His butt was numb and it irritated him to no end. Hilde saw him twitching and gave him a pen and paper to write with.

'When can I go home? I hate hospitals.' They read and chuckled.

"I don't know honey. Whenever the doctor says it's time."

'But I wanna go now, my butt's numb.' He grouched, pouting when a thought came to him. He grimaced at it, hoping it wouldn't have to be amputated like he saw in all those movies where people were stuck in some really cold place or worse, it could disappear. He glared at the snickering dark-haired girl he'd known since they were five and considered how many times he could whack her with his pillow on his own before enlisting Solo's help or he passed out from exhaustion.

"S-sorry, I couldn't help it. It's funny." She held her hands up in defeat when she saw the mischievous look on his face.

'Hil, let's see how you like having a numb butt in a cold bed.' Duo tried to huff but ended up coughing instead. Hilde smiled at Duo, trying not to laugh and made herself Duo's personal nurse. She bounced up from the bed in search of thicker blankets.

Duo's face darkened as he wrote something else frantically, glancing at Hilde's retreating back. 'What happen Mama? Did the sicko get away?'

"I gave him several good reasons why slum folk shouldn't be looked down upon or used and abused by the wealthy." She sighed, her smirk dying as she continued. "They charged him for attempted rape and assault but he bought his way out of a lengthy sentence and sped up the proceedings. He was counting on you not waking from your coma in time. I couldn't allow them to put Solo on the stand after they put me up there, the leech of a lawyer that Lewis hired tried to twist everything I said. He got two years without probation and we got a monetary settlement. The public defender suggested that we take it or else it would just be used to reduce Lewis' sentence further."

She knew this was a lot for a ten-year-old to take in but Duo was older than he looked. She regretted him growing up so fast. She held his hand and ran her thumb over the back of it as he digested what she had said.

"We have our home again!" Solo blurted out and beamed at him. Duo turned his wide eyes to their Mom, she smiled and nodded an affirmative.

"I gave half of it to Father Maxwell and it gives me a little time to look for another job and gets you boys back into school. You've got another week before you'll be ready to go back, Duo." Jadea hoped she'd find that second job soon, so the money could go towards the boys college expenses.

Duo nodded but hoped that week wouldn't be spent in the hospital. His gaze strayed to Solo once more, he looked better with a few bandages on him and faint dark spots of discoloration on his arms. He turned his pleading eyes to Jadea, unable to form the words and forgetting about the pen and paper he had in his hands.

"What is it honey?" Startled by the fearful look on Duo's face looking him over and then the heart monitor to if something was wrong.

He blinked up at her and then looked over at Solo, weakly pointing at his arms. She saw the bruises that were fading, but she still didn't get what it was that had made him look like that. Duo began writing, 'Are they going to take us away from you? They must've seen what Quin did to Solo when they checked him? Did they see?'

Jadea's brows rose slightly then she smiled down at Duo after reading what he wrote. Solo hopped up on the bed and laid beside his brother, yawning hugely. Duo watched the seriousness in his eyes dimming some when he thought that Solo reminded him of that little kid from South Park, whenever he laughed or yawned his mouth open so largely that the top half of his head seemed to just flip back like the flap on the cereal box. Unaware of his brothers thoughts, Solo stretched a little before resting his head against Duo's shoulder.

"Don't worry honey. Everything's fine. I explained what happened but they - they really didn't seem to care." She said with a tight smile and slightly furrowed brow as she stroked Duo's bangs from his face and ran them through his hair. "Except for your doctor, they only examined him where there was blood and checked his ribs and stomach for internal injuries. Dr. Lupe was the persistent one, wanting to give the best care possible, including a full physical. She stopped her questions when I threaten to take you out of here, which surprised me that this hospital is so screwed up they'd let me take you off life support and take you home to most likely die under my care than shell out the money for another charity case." Jadea said darkly and Duo listened not knowing what to say. A heaviness settled in the silence, unfelt by Solo who was in a half doze, ignoring their conversation and opting for a nap, snuggling closer to his brother.

Duo didn't know how close he had come to dying, he tried to but it didn't seem real. So instead he started thinking about how Solo had saved him from that guy. He nudged Solo with his arm, handing him the pad.

'Solo how did you get up on that guy's back? He was a giant!' He fiddled with the IV in his arm, surprised at how he could move it around and not feel any pain. While he waited for Solo to finish, he looked at how it pierced his skin and he couldn't help but think of how unnatural it seemed.

Solo only shrugged and picked at the sheets, rolling up little lent balls between his fingers. Duo took back the pad and scribbled quickly, 'Solo you did real good,' letting him see it before he enveloped him in a one-armed hug.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

0218, a weary figure trudged into a darkened room closing the door silently behind himself. He plopped down on the couch his braid following his descent to thud against his beige and grease speckled, jumpsuit-covered chest. He hated missing the shuttle bus and having to walk nearly 2 miles to get home around this time of night.

"Damnable bus." Duo grumbled under his breath as he rolled off the couch, kicked off his boots and padded into the kitchen. Once he grabbed an orange soda from the fridge, he turned on the hanging light over the dinning table. The light gave the living/dining room a faint glow of warmth, the shadows seemed to meld and seep on its boundaries in the pregnant silence. Duo felt alone. His ears twitched, straining to hear the snore that often followed their mother into deep sleep. But he couldn't hear it. In the pass few years, Duo often awoke afraid and just needing to know that his mother and brother were still there. Even if he could see them in the little light that the artificial stars gave and street lights added, he had to get up or lean over to feel the heat of breath on his hand. It was a strange thing that he never fully understood but he needed to be sure. He was so used to it now that he was aware of the sounds they normally made in their sleep and woke the moment he didn't hear those sleep patterns. This fear in him that he couldn't place, had him now walking quietly to their mothers' room. His tense shoulders became lax as he listened to their mothers' muffled snore.

After he found Solo sleeping peacefully in the lower bunk of their shared room, he settled down at the dining table, pulled out his half-done homework and began to work on it while sipping his soda. Once he finished, he pulled out a laptop, one that Mr. Schbeiker had found among the scrap and they had fixed together. It was an antique thing, nothing like the latest ones he saw one of the upper colony kids use, but it served its purpose for them. During the summer he'd spend hours on the thing, thinking himself a master hacker . . . one time he had hacked into an 'account,' as he called it. He didn't wish to gloat or name the system he'd gotten into, he closed it right away and gave himself a mental reprimand, 'I don't need to steal.' He shook his head and wrote down to contact the company and tell them to further secure their system as his electronic journal flashed open with his email account: After deleting various bits of spam, he opened his journal and began to type:

Hey Pops,

I know I haven't been to a confessional in a while but I think you'll still hear my thoughts and prayers even if it's in this form. Hah . . . actually it's been two years since I've updated you on everything. I'm happy to say it seems like we have survived the worst of it. Solo . . . (Duo grinned to himself as he continued typing.) _what did I tell you! He's a fuckin' genius, Pops! I am so proud of him, he's on the honor roll and schools . . . Excuse me, let me clarify this schools space-wide and dirtside are mailing us stuff to have him go participate in their programs for ahem 'young achievers'._ (He smiled at the thought.) _Gah, and me? Oh I'm fine, yea I'm up there with the other smart urchins and so is 'Hil'dabraugh _(He snickered to himself at the nickname that still was a sore spot for his friend.)

(Duo grinned to himself as he continued typing.) (He smiled at the thought.) (He snickered to himself at the nickname that still was a sore spot for his friend.) 

My main focus though is mechanical engineering, I can build a lot of stuff and Mr. Schbeiker still lets me play around in his scrap yard - he told me that whatever I made or fixed he would sale for me, only keeping 10 percent of profit for himself. I think he threw in that last part in because of Mama and how she really hated handouts even if it was help from a friend. One thing I figured out about her is that she doesn't like to be in debt and does her best to payback anything she borrows in a few days. Me and Solo are like that, but to a lesser extent. We try to keep track of whom not to ask, but we pretty much keep to our circle of friends.

Oh, what kinds of things am I fiddling with? Nothin' too impressive, just repairing AC units, engines, a motor or two. I haven't found another whole laptop and I'm not looking to replace this one. It's like a pet but ya don't have to feed it or anything. Ok maybe it's not like a pet but we're attached to it. Nooo we haven't named it. Anyway, it's good creds and my hobby when I find the time. I also work at the loading docks now, four days a week, it really helps Mama out a lot. Me and Solo have bunk beds and our own room now! It's great and I find myself bouncing on it most of the time. (He laughed to himself, glancing around to see if had woken anyone even though he trying really hard to keep quiet.) _Solo came up and beat me with a pillow 'til I stop._ (Duo sat back his smile fading, the staccato of the keys failing to reach his ears as he immersed himself in his thoughts.) _Solo doesn't tell us if staying in the room next to Quin's old one bothers him. But I know it does when I hear him talk in his sleep._ (Duo's shoulders drooped as scooted closer to the screen.) _He doesn't talk to me about it any more and I guess I shouldn't dwell on it. He says he's fine, so I'll trust him to tell me otherwise._

(He laughed to himself, glancing around to see if had woken anyone even though he trying really hard to keep quiet.) (Duo sat back his smile fading, the staccato of the keys failing to reach his ears as he immersed himself in his thoughts.) (Duo's shoulders drooped as scooted closer to the screen.) 

Gah, at school Hilde was fusing at me about going to the club with her. I went two weeks ago but she says that doesn't matter that even the god of death needs a break for the monotony of school-work-eat-sleep. So what if I'm fifteen and don't have much of a social life! It's not like I have a choice . . . I do have a choice but I've decided that my family is more important. Haha, I sound like an old man I gotta do what I gotta do but I think I will go to the Rox with her tomorrow night. And big Bro mustuve . . . Hilde tells me that he still works for them but she doesn't see much of him. I . . . (He shook his head.) _I don't know what to say. I miss him ya know? Not the bastard he was but what he used to be._

(He shook his head.) 

Ok went off subject, School - yes, I've been contacted by some schools dirtside but I don't think I can leave just yet. I gotta make sure So' makes it ya know? Ha! You'll neva believe that he's, what? 13 'cuz he's got four inches on me. (He chuckled quietly to himself, it sounded half-hearted to his own ears, though it really didn't matter because no one else would hear it but him at the moment.) _Standing next to him, people are always calling me the youngest of us and I guess the roundness to face doesn't do much to counter that. _

(He chuckled quietly to himself, it sounded half-hearted to his own ears, though it really didn't matter because no one else would hear it but him at the moment.) 

Woohoo! It's Friday! Err . . . morning (He rubbed his stomach with a smirk.) _Uh . . . damn gotta go feed the machine or and I quote 'the bottomless maw of unfathomable depths' that is my stomach_ (He chuckled.) _I think I should get that dictionary away from Solo. Then get some winks before school._

(He rubbed his stomach with a smirk.) (He chuckled.) 

Duo clicked save and shut down the computer, stretching before doing what he wrote with a mischievous smirk.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

The neon sign displayed 'Rox' in cursive script spilling from a tipped martini glass in electric blue. The building was square and so dark it was liken to a black hole or pit in the dark shallowing all light. The light from its neon sign flickered over te surface revealing that it indeed had color: a dark navy blue was painted all over its exterior with midnight colored canopies over black painted windows. The club had a thick black rug leading to and from its entrance and exit, kept alighted by the one remaining streetlight at the corner. The entrance led to an even darker interior that flickered the further one went in. An emancipated teen with spiked hair in dirty overalls, no shirt, tattered shoes pushed his way through the crowd to door where he was stamped and ushered in. The club had always opened its doors to the homeless with the guarantee of food, a possible job and no matter how many of the young homeless disappeared they kept coming. Kids to twenty something adults milled about as a steady flow of scantily clad bodies- swaying, laughing and talking loudly- continued, undaunted by minor ripples in their procession, making a raucous if a bouncer ushered them out too quickly. Around them expensive cars rolled by, occasionally making whispered deals with someone standing near the sidewalk before they drifted toward the line. Other cars parked across from the club with the tinted windows a third of the way, watching, waiting.

Saturday night the place was always packed, but tonight it was more so than usual. Tonight was karaoke night, a new addition to the clubs' somewhat questionable entertainment. This was a part of the reason Hilde had set herself to bugging Duo until he succumbed to her feminine wiles. Hilde laughed and tugged on Duo's arm as she turned and beamed at him when they stepped into the line. Duo had a tenor that she couldn't let him waste by submerging himself in work. 'So far so good,' she smiled to herself as she looked him over in his black tank, body-hugging leather pants and heavy black boots he always wore with everything. The silver chain that looped about his waist linked on itself so that it looked like it was welded on and its crucifix end dangled over his fly. She had him top it off with a wire choker, hers, with a similar nickel sized cross hanging from it.

'He looks really good, too bad it didn't work,' she and Duo had tried the whole girlfriend and boyfriend thing a year ago. They shared their first kiss and in all thirty-two minutes of their relationship, they had gotten on each others nerves, got into an argument, made up, threaten each other, Hilde screamed for a divorce and lapsed into silence before they burst out laughing. It helped them realize that they loved each other but not like that, they were too much alike and they were siblings in a sense. Hilde knew there would be something she just loved about Duo that she wouldn't be able to find in another guy. She was brought out of her thoughts when they both came up to the bouncers, they made it through the door with their fake ids, the backs of their left hands stamped red at the second check with the design of a head full of rocks or oddly shaped diamonds.

The lights flickered across them and the shadows of others streaked the walls. Hilde matched and contrasted Duo with her knee-high leather skirt, barbwire choker with a skull and crossbones pendant that came down to her deep purple halter. She pulled him close and stifled a laugh at his fidget of discomfort.

"What's the matter?" she shouted over the music as they swayed among the mass of mingling bodies.

"Why do I feel like I've been set up?"

"Why do you say that? And hey you're still blushing!"

"Try not to smack my ass next time."

"Aw! Didn't you know? You have a cute butt." She gushed.

"Whateva Hil. I told you I had bought these pants just to keep, ya know to have in case . . . "

"And this is the 'in case'. We're out to have fun and show off how hot we are."

"I'm not interested in showing off how hot 'I' am and if someone comes over and gropes you I'm kicking their ass!"

"Ha! Like they'd get close enough. You know they'd lose the feeling of that hand for a week. Don't worry Duo. You're here to rrrelax. Come dance with me."

She held out her hands in invitation and they moved so they were off-center of the crowd. Hilde smiled as Duo relaxed and let the music take him, guiding his movements that she matched with her on rhythm. They lost track of time but a smile spread across her gleaming purple lips as the music faded and Duo was practically bouncing as they made their way over to the bar to get some drinks. Hilde 'hmphed' in satisfaction as she followed the upbeat Duo, smirking knowingly. The club DJ announced the mic open for the hour of karaoke. Hilde smirked broaden into a grin when she realized Duo hadn't even heard the announcement as his hips involuntarily moved to the beat. He hopped up on a barstool and then Hilde followed as she tried to contain her excitement at how well her plan was going. Duo was enjoying his Kali's little pinky and sputtered into his glass at the screeching he heard over the mic. Duo rubbed his ears and other people groaned, some cheered them on.

'The beat was danceable until the singers got up there,' Hilde shook her head and spared a glance in their direction, 'all clothes and gloss.'

She ignored the guys trying to get her attention, growing more anxious as they sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender. She wasn't really paying him any attention because she was listening hard for the opening keys to an old earth song that she had overheard Duo singing.

She realized she was focusing too hard when she heard Duo humming the beat. It was playing, but it needed more.

"Hey Duo, doesn't that sound familiar?" She asked casually stirring her drink.

"Huh?" Duo mumbled around his toothpick, absently letting his tongue flit over it's point as he listened. "Hmm, Oh yea, I - Hil! You did set me up." Sounding exasperated, Duo sent a weak glare Hilde's way. Hilde rolled her eyes, bowing her head with an evil smirk, she lifted her eyes and batted her lashes using her puppy eyes to the maximum since she knew weaker attempts would not sway him, he'd taught her after all. It was one of the reasons she had worn the moire eyeliner she had on, it intensified her royal blues.

"Please Duo! I'll be the drummer, and you have a beautiful voice. I- I just wanted you to share it with everyone else . . ."

"Uh huh." He turned back to his drink and chewed on the end of the toothpick that had held the cherry from his drink. Ignoring her as Hilde continued to look, for all the world, like the most miserable adorably cute girl in the club. Duo picked up another cherry from a small bowl of which the bartender had given him, for what reason he had no clue but he wasn't going to waste them, they were good. Duo flipped the toothpick and caught the cherry between his teeth. He closed his lips around it and several things happened that the two didn't notice: someone fell off a barstool not too far away; someone cleared their throat several times; the man next to him leaned closer as he worked the pick and chewed the cherry in his mouth.

To Duo and Hilde there was nothing at all sexual about eating a cherry, but even though this was a racy club, perhaps the bartender adjusting his tie, then turning away from Duo had nothing to do with him munching on the cherry on the stick. The bartender was about to go fill another drink order when Duo tapped the counter, he quickly turned to replace Duo's drink.

"Pleeeeaseee." She pursed her lips and moved closer to him deciding to discard her Carlotta since she wasn't paying any attention to it and would be damned if she drank it now that it had sat unguarded during her act of persuasion.

Duo glanced over at her out the corner of his eyes oblivious to the eyes fixated on his lips and thoughts centering on wishing they were that lucky toothpick. "Gawd dammit quit the eye thing already! ok . . . ok."

The lights dimmed, the backstage lights revealed any movement on the stage, letting the shuffling shadows of legs glide over the crowd. The stage, separated from the dance floor rose five feet, curved to match the semi-oval balcony above with two jet black supports on either side. To the right, raised another four feet was the DJ's station. He stepped down and approached the edge of the stage where he saw a braided person being towed toward the stage. The DJ knew Hilde, her father had helped his family by giving his father a job when he got laid-off. He smiled at her and eyed the braided youth she had ensnared.

He found he couldn't take his eyes away, androgynous would be a way to describe his features but a boy he was nonetheless. He found himself staring into violet pools that were pleading at the purple haired girl who, obviously, was ignoring the others' pleas. In the crowd someone mumbled loudly about not wanting to hear more tone deaf people who can't sing, while the others shifted slightly to the rock beat, waiting. Duo hopped up on stage, ignoring the DJ's gawking and proceeded to fidgeted with his pants then turned to pout down at Hilde who looked up at him with her arms crossed. He and the DJ reached down for Hilde at the same time and she grinned taking both offered hands as they lifted her up. She turned and hugged the DJ.

"Thanks so much Aki."

"Ain't nothing. This was a hard tune to find, but anything for you Hilde."

"Hildabraugh . . . " came the whine which Hilde ignored.

"Are the strobe lights ready?"

"Yea."

"Ok lets go! Restart the music in 15 secs."

"Hil, ah c'mon. Hey wait, maybe-"

"You already agreed. And you have to do that opening umm . . . Ohhuhh uhhhhh thing! Hmm I think that's how it goes?" She shrugged turning away from Duo and heading for the drum set.

"Hey Hil, that umm . . . mustuve been synthesized. I dunno if I can-"

"You CAN! Duo Maxwell get over to the mic!" Hilde said glaring and pointing to center stage as the music was shut off.

"Yes MOM. See if you get anything from me for your birthday."

The crowd heard Duo's muttered comment and Hilde's snicker. The music started and the strobe lights pulsed with the beat and the restless crowd perked up awing at the lighting. Duo looked back at Hilde and sent her one last glare. Hilde rolled her eyes and smiled back at him as she caught the rhythm on the drums. Duo stepped up to the mic, the pulsing lights roving and alighting his lean and muscular body. He pulled the mic forward opening his mouth:

"_Ohaohha ohaohha . . . _

Ohaohha ohaohhhha . . .

No sleep,

No sleep until I am done with finding the answer.

Won't stop,

Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer.

. . . Sometimes I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected,

Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted."

Hilde harmonized with Duo giving the words more force as the crowd began to cheer and bob their heads while others began to jump up and down. Arms snaked up and then down near the stage at Duo's feet, wanting to touch but held back by the bouncers that kept the crowd in check.

"_I've been watching, I've been waiting . . . _

In the shadows for my time.

I've been searching, I've been living . . .

For tomorrow's all my life."

Duo picked up a guitar and strummed the strings finding the melody quickly as he continued to sing.

"_Ohaohha ohaohhhha . . . _

...in the shadows

They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe.

But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave . . ."

The strobe lights flashed across a hundred upturned faces, streaked with sweat, eyes closed to half close, some lips parted in ecstasy as they danced harder to the music. Among the gyrating bodies, a pair of hazel eyes were locked on Duo. He smiled and rocked on his heels to the music, watching intently as Duo seemed to lose himself in the song and letting the crowd jostle him about when he caught sight of Duo's darken violets. The flickering lights seemed to catch in them when the room lit up during the pulses.

Duo sang the song with such passion that he hadn't realized their few minutes on stage had come to the end until he heard the wild applause and screams for them to perform more. Aki switched off the lights so that Duo and Hilde could make a hasty retreat backstage.

"Ya happy now?" He smiled and half laughed from the rush of it all.

"Oh yea! You were awesome!" She pounced on him and he swung her around as he returned her hug before they continued their escape.

"Yea _we_ were and tell that to my heart so that it'll stop trying to beat its way out of my chest." Hilde laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm glad you did it. I say lets get outta here and celebrate with tons of ice cream. My Mom has leftovers at my house, something Kiev, no no ...cordon bleu?" Hilde cupped her chin in thought missing how Duo perked up when he heard cordon bleu then, tried to glare at her.

"Oh... I see... but it won't work! Nope! You can't bribe me into forgiveness but . . . those cheese filled hamsters are a good start." Hilde laughed and skipped as they walked behind the bar towards the door.

The bouncers gave them a grunt in approval and a nod as the pair exited the club. Duo kept glancing back as he and Hilde continued to walk. A chill slowly crept up his spine, making him glance behind them again. He did this several times and caught a glimpse of a grey flack jacket. When he and Hilde turned at the next street, he grabbed her elbow and pulled her close to him.

"Wha-" Duo put his long slender fingers to her lips, stilling them and Hilde felt her heart flutter as his face came closer to hers. 'What is he doing ?' She could feel the blush high on her cheeks.

"Shh. Hil, we're being followed." Her breath caught and her eyes misted, she hadn't expected that.

In the sudden silence, back dropped by the low murmur of people and fading pulse of the music from the club, she could hear heavy footfalls. They were a slow and unsteady gait, their pace increasing as the steps became more confident the closer they came to them. Hilde flushed in embarrassment, thanking whoever had busted the street lamp over them because she didn't want to make things awkward between her and Duo if he had seen her reaction to him. 'What was I thinking!' She berated herself. Was she so amped up that she had become careless and thought that Duo wanted her to be more than a friend again? To try again something that died as quickly as it began? She lowered her eyes as Duo took a quick glance around the corner.

Hilde knew that if she had come alone she wouldn't have done such a careless thing; she knew that she could depend on Duo to watch their backs if she got carried away. Yet still it bothered her that she hadn't noticed anything until Duo had told her and that she had expected something more from him other than the friendship they shared. As suddenly as she was surrounded by the heated smell of lavender and musk, the heady warmth of Duo was gone and she shook her head to clear it. She was surprised that he had resumed his previous carefree pose as if nothing had happened.

She walked over to him, finding it hard to keep up appearances. She watched Duo, answered his jabs and humorous notes with a few of her own. Duo walked the steady pace they were walking before with his fingers laced behind his head, giving him the laid back air she was used to seeing. Soon she found the motor mouth she had before he made her aware of things and was going on and on about the club again. She lost herself for a few moments in false security when she fell into her normal teasing of him and started tugging on the cross on Duo's belt when the hairs on the back of her neck began to stand on end.

She could feel the eyes now. He was closer. When her eyes met Duo's again, he looked over toward the path leading to the Park and Hilde agreed, their silent communication missed by their onlooker as Hilde smiled again and pulled Duo in that direction.

From a distance, the hazel eyes shimmered in the dim light as he watched the dark-haired girl tug on the braided boys belt causing his pants to come down a bit and show some of his bare pale hip. The bouncers of the club had stopped him from following, until he turned and glared at them. They stepped back with quickly mumbled apologies, watching him with wary near fearful expressions on their faces. He was the assistant manager but dressed out of the usual business garb. They just didn't recognize the owners' associate with his hair down and in club wear.

His stomached churned, forcing him stop. It was time. He wiped his nose on the back of his hand to see a smear of blood. He cradled his hard stomach as it twisted and dug around in his tight pants for the dropper he stashed there before leaving the apartment. He leaned against the wall of the alley as he hastily yanked out the eye dropper and squeezed a drop in each eye, gritting his teeth while he waited for it to work. He swooned, closing his eyes as two thin lines of tears streamed down his face. The euphoria that followed made him shiver and unconsciously palmed his pants. He took deep breaths, forcing himself not to collapse where he stood and grin like an enrapt idiot.

For a moment he forgot why he was there and didn't see why he felt he had to follow. But his mind spoke in subdued whispers, telling him that he knew the braided teen and those eyes, he had to see them again, to watch that body move while he held it. Gritting his teeth again, lips fixed in a smile, brows scrunched together while eyes never lost their glossy gleam and wideness, he slid across the brick wall. After what felt like hours of no progress, he used the wall to help him lift one heavy foot and then the other, pushing himself onward as his feet grew lighter the more he moved. He had almost lost them but he wanted to watch the violet-eyed boy some more. He saw the end of the braid that he wanted to cut swing into the park. He cursed, stopping at the entrance and stared around.

There wasn't any sign of them.

He heard from others that the park was either a curse or a blessing because some people disappeared when they went in at night. He brought his pale net-covered arm to his nose and ran it across his arm as he sniffed loudly, then wiped at the tracks on his face. He knew where they lived; where they worked. He had plenty of time.

Tbc...

The drinks Duo and Hilde were sipping are nonacholoic beverages.

for the full version of the music and the band info visit - www. rasmusdeadletters .com

(1) chicken pox


	7. urges

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing or the characters therein are not mine, only Quin. 'Nuf said.

Warnings: descriptive content, angst, dark, gore, ncs mostly implied and other bad stuff, drug addiction/abuse, flash-backing, oh did I forget to mention death? see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: . . .

(Huggles reviewers). Feedback is appreciated.

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

seven- urges

The dim street lights, reflected off his auburn hair as he ran his hands through it in hopes of easing his frustration. He strolled along the sidewalks of the industrial district, the eyes watching his movement increased the closer he got to the club - weighing and accessing what he carried of value and if he himself would be of value. His own darted to vacant windows of buildings, the quiet never bothered him, he knew what was there and loved to be apart of it. Even though a part of him cringed when darkness seemed to loom menacingly in the unlit spaces, as if waiting to touch him, lock him back away from the surface once again. He felt separate but aware; he had no control over the kiss and grope he willingly shared with one of hookers as he passed Broad. He watched them half-heartedly while flashes of a slender, black clad youth permeated his mind. His mind's eye trailing along the youth's contours; he was angular and all planes like any other boy. But he had hips not overly pronounced that leant curve to his tapering waist. He found any movement the youth's braided brownish, red-gold length to be seductive especially when it swung across that lithesome forms' round ass.

He became thrilled at the thought of being able to play and run his hands through the mass that seemed almost sentient, alive. The part of him that desperately tried to stay on the surface balked and sicken with his growing interest in the teen he had tried so hard to keep himself away from. He would not voice his name, in fear of himself and the other images it would invoke. But it was too late for that now. His efforts to stop himself were all foiled by a few more droplets of that blissful liquid each day. The dominant part was free to do whatever he wished and the majority of that time was spent watching the boy and _his_ family from a distance, noting his development as his lust grew and overrode the sane part that screamed and fought for some foothold on who he used to be. He was so tired of fighting, of trying to deny that it was him who had did that so long ago. He missed his family so much, but he wouldn't risk his brothers more pain, give his mother more grief. He wouldn't.

Before he knew it, he was walking passed the club to the apartments that the owner ran more like a hotel. He entered the three-story complex, nodded to the guard and receptionist at the desk and by-stepped a rutting couple making their way to a room nearby. He watched as he waited for the elevator with disinterested glossy eyes, trying to keep his thoughts on anything but Duo.

He found himself in the elevator, that feeling came again like he wasn't really there just running on automatic. At the elevator's stop, he was already swiping the back of his metal key through the hidden card port on the elevator panel. It was an ingenious idea, everyone would think it required a key card when in actuality it only used the key to his home. 'Oh the things that money can buy.' Pausing when he heard his voiced thought in duplicate, he shrugged off the strangeness and continued to walk down the short hallway, unlocking the door at the end to step inside a grand livingroom.

He was taken aback by the sheer space but his eyes took on a bored look as roved over his surroundings. In all his life he had never been in a place so big, but memory caught up to him, like it always did when he felt like he was outside his body and in no control, this was _theirs_. The entire third floor was his and Tyre's apartment. He remembered when he was kicked out on the street by his mother; he had no place to go and wandered aimlessly until he got to the Park. He ended up sleeping on a bench, only to be awoken from a fitful doze by screams coming from a distant alley. He shivered but not from the fear that he could have been that unanswered plea for help or from the cold but from need, a hunger he couldn't understand. He didn't want food. He needed more Ice, the consumable powdered crystal form of Streamers. He went through his bag and pockets but there were no little packs of blue powdered bliss. He slowly realized that he'd left it at home. No. No, not his home. He didn't have one anymore. Not after what he had done, what he still wanted to do. Time lapsed and he realized he was standing at Tyre's door, his pained body wanting to collapse from the exertion of walking such a distance - Tyre lived in the middle class section of the colony, more than three miles from the Park.

Stepping away from the memory, Quin kicked off his shoes, threw his gray jack toward the couch. He looked up in time to see it sailing back over the couch to the floor, proceeded by a mumbled curse from the couches' occupant. He walked over and picked it up before leaning on the couch to look down at the pale skinned man, his eyes trailed down - up passed his sunken cheeks to his black, sleep messed hair splayed on the pillow. The man was thin, too thin to be healthy and like most who used Streamers, slated to die soon from irreversible dehydration and heart failure.

He thought back to when he had found a customer of Tyre's downstairs in the lobby trying desperately to get to him. He never made it. He knew the symptoms: loss of weight and color, atrophied muscles - eventual paralysis, and the final stages - violent arrhythmias, then a distinctive gasp (death's toll) before the heart constricted into a knot of tense muscle and arrested. In some, it was said that the heart valves ruptured, leaving the knotted bloodless muscle surrounded by the pooling blood from the body.

Quin found himself smiling and hoping that the boy was a bleeder. He figured the boy must be in the final stages as he watched the boy blink twice more before his eyes remained open. He kneeled beside the boy and put his ear to his chest. He could hear and feel the violent thumping within and he sat up quickly when he felt more than he heard the boys pained gasp for air. He listened and watched, in sick fascination, as the gasp became a choked sound in the boys' throat which became more like a gurgle as the sound passed the boy's thin slack lips while blood began to trickle from the corners of his mouth. Then Quin's eyes flitted along twin trails of red to the boys' eyes. He moved closer to look into the sunken, dulling teal eyes and watched as they dilated. The boy moved no more. Quin stuck his hand beneath the boy's shirt to feel the intense heat coming from the boys' chest even through the thin hospital gown he wore beneath it. He pressed his hand into that heat, stopping when his hand became moist; 'the boy was a bleeder.'

A grumble brought him back from his revere this time. He looked over the sleeping figure beneath him with the same fascination as he rested his head on his crossed arms and smiled. He knew he was dying, but Tyre would be dead long before him and he couldn't die fast enough. A part of him wondered if that's how Duo or Solo felt about him for what he had done to them.

He thought back to that day again, the day he had found himself at Tyre's door.

- - - xXxX (Flashback) XxXx- - -

Tyre answered the door with sleep mussed hair, eyeing his watch wearily then perking up at the sight of Quin, immediately grabbing his arm and pulling him in. Although Quin stiffened at the too familiar touches, he chalked it up to his friend being sleepy and was happy that Tyre cared enough to let him stay. Another plus was that he gave him Ice as reassurance that giving up the drugs and begging for forgiveness for whatever he had done wrong that him had gotten him thrown out.

Tyre made Ice readily available for Quin, the bright look in his eyes when he first saw his bedraggled, lost friend was replaced with a contemplative one. It was one clue of many he would miss in his need for those little blue, powdered crystals. Quin often caught himself, when dreams wouldn't cease and he was forced to watch it - relive it all in livid detail while trapped in his body screaming for it to end, he stuffed himself with Ice. He had gotten used to it. So much so that he didn't notice the sharply sour yet bitter after taste of it when he caught himself putting it in his food and drink a few times so he could have it on his breaks from working in the scrap yard.

It wasn't enough though.

The dreams still came and so did the memories. He moved to liquid Streamers, the dropper allowed him to put its concentrated form in his eyes. He was overdosing, he knew it and didn't care. Apart of him just wanted to forget and the other part just wanted. He needed it so bad to drown out the memories, the shock that still ran through him from the muffled screams of Solo beneath him. He remembered how he shook when he woke to find Duo's hair tie in his hand while he lay in a wet spot that was a mixture of blood and semen. He had tried to say it, to convince himself, that the blood was his own but all he had were some bruises none of which were bleeding heavily enough for the deep red smears he had seen. He shivered, feeling sick knowing he couldn't deceive himself that the blood was Duo's.

He spent days wallowing in self pity then rending himself numb with the Streamers Tyre supplied. A day later, he was grateful he still had his job. Mr. Schbeiker had asked what had happen with his mother, he muttered nothing and went back to work. After two months, the liquid drops made all his worries disappear. Every day before work he dosed up enough to last until he got back to Tyre's. Today, he stood atop a pile of scrap, his gloved hands shifting through rubble, grumbling and tossing to his left rotten or rusted junk. Sweat beaded on his flexing swimmers' frame and a thin line of sweat glisten off the tip of his nose as he worked loose sheets of metal. The jerking motion caused tufts of his sandy brown hair to peek out from under his gray bandanna. He paused, swaying slightly, the merciless heat aided by the simulated sun made him dizzy but he noticed others stilling in their tasks to take a breather like him, so he ignored the roil of his stomach that followed the dizziness.

He began to move to another pile when he tripped over a protruding piece of metal nearly going head first off the side of the pile. He took deep breaths to calm himself, then kneeled down and examined it. He squinted at the reflective surface and half laughed at his luck. It was a pressure valve, similar to the one Mr. Schbeiker needed for one of two broken cranes. Shit, if he could salvage it, it would lessen some of the handpicking they've been doing. The more he thought about it, he had just saved his boss a thousand in credits and import costs.

Hours later, his wife beater drooping with perspiration and showing off more of his well-muscled chest, he had worked half of it out. From what he could see, it was in damn good condition too. He was elated. His smiled crumbled when his vision doubled, his knees gave out and he fell to them around the valve. His head dropped, his teeth clicking as his chin hit his chest. He remained still for a while before uncontrollable tremors shook him. His knees hurt from their impact on the ridged parts, but that pain was drowned out by an overwhelming craving, need that made his chest tighten and made him grind his teeth.

"Hey Junior! You ok up there?" He could hear the cautious steps of the speaker, Ref, making his way up to him.

Quin pulled himself together enough to hide the pain in the lazy, tired smile he gave the man as he looked up from his position.

"Yea, Ref. The heat's getting to me is all. I found this press-"

"Junior, you're bleeding." The man was suddenly kneeling before him and pressing a piece of cloth to his nose. Quin blinked, watching the man as he fused, forcing him to sit and checking his head for trauma. Ref treated him like a son and was his voice of reason when he worked sixteen hour days and got no real sleep.

"I'm ok. It's just the heat." He repeated taking the rag and squeezing his nose as he tilted his head back.

"I saw you fall." Ref ran a hand over his bald brown head, shaking his head at the definite look in the boys' hazel eyes. "No, I don't want to hear it. Go on ahead home son. You've done enough for today."

Quin's eyes widen then he shut them quickly and gasped silently behind the cloth from the pain that shot straight to his brain. "Puu-"

"No buts. Every day you've been out here for the passed TWO months. Even old men like me need a break. You're too young to be working like that."

"I kno. I 'afta. Phip I 'on't ork-"

"No need, son." Ref shook his head as if the motion alone would put a stop to Quin's need to explain. "You'll be fine if you take it slow for a little while. At least make sure you have a day off in every week you work. If you do that I won't pester you. You got that JR?"

"Yea I 'earya Ref."

"Good. Now get. I'll get one of the other boys to get that valve out. Good job son." He punched Quin's shoulder lightly, rising to his feet and helping him to stand slowly.

"Th-thanks Ref." Quin tried to keep his smile but the need was eating away at him, so it became a pained grimace instead.

He struggled to walk calmly out, waving bye to the concerned Mr. Schbeiker as he wondered if the nosebleed was really from the heat because he had never gotten one from coming down before. Further thoughts about it were pushed out of his head by a painful headache and the churn of his stomach. He stumbled, dropping the rag and started to run. He thought he had dosed up enough to last the whole day. He thought of the way he took the drug as medicinal, figuring out just how much was needed to kill the pain from the memories of the hurt he had caused his brothers that always came back like a jackhammer to his head when he didn't take enough. It had worked before. He had never fallen this hard. 'That night in the park, it hadn't hurt this much,' he thought as the streets and cars he passed became a blur.

By the time he made it to the door, he was a quivering mass of need, the keys clinking loudly in his ears. He dropped and fumbled with them many times in his agitation. When he finally got the door open, he fell through and crawled over to his backpack propped up by the leather couch and rummaged for his plastic dropper. He pulled it out and gawked at it in shock. It was empty. It was full the last time he checked which had been right before he left, he was sure. He sucked on the tip but nothing came out. He knew it was pointless to look around the apartment for more because Tyre never kept any there.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there staring blankly at the walls but he came out of it at the sound of the door opening. I don't remember closing the door, he thought listlessly. A weal smile came across his face when he saw Tyre walk and close the door behind him. Tyre looked down and lifted a brow in question. Early on, Tyre had refused him anymore handouts until he got paid. He didn't understand why, especially when Tyre knew he was good for the creds. Tyre knew how much he made and since he'd been staying with Tyre he paid him extra, leaving himself with fifty or so creds. Quin swallowed hard when remembered Tyre's refusals as he strained to stand and approached him with knocking knees. They were the same height but he felt smaller for some reason.

"T-Ty, do you . . . do you have some on you. I-I know you said not until . . . b-but I mean I . . . Fuck. I need it badly. I think something's wrong. I-I had some this mornin' a-and . . . " Quin bit down on his bottom lip and balled up his hands into fists hoping to stop his stutter and their shaking.

He glanced up to see Tyre shaking his head 'no' before he could get his mouth to work again, his hazel eyes widen in despair.

"I told you before, I need money. If I keep giving it to you on credit, you'll think you can get it-"

'No! I've always paid. It was only that one time when Mom had put me out and I didn't have any cash on me.' He swallowed, his thoughts merging with his strained voice. "N-n-no I wouldn't, Ty. Y-you know m-me. I p-p-promise you. Y-y-you . . . "

Tyre shook his head again before he continued, "You'll be like the other addicts and because you know me you'll think you can get it like that all the time and . . . then you wouldn't work and I'll be in some deep shit because my supplies will be dropping because of you. "

Quin closed his eyes as Tyre's refusal was followed by more tremors of pain, which he had been fighting off to no avail. He bit down harder on his lip, hoping that buffering pain with more pain would help him think. It did to an extent. Quin didn't know what he could give as collateral. He didn't have anything of value. All his music equipment was at his mother's place.

"Hey don't . . . " Tyre grabbed his chin, the surprised action forced Quin to open his mouth, his lower lip slipping free of his punishing teeth to reveal a dark red sheen spreading across his trembling lips. "Don't."

Quin looked up, startled by the sudden soft intonation of Tyre's voice. He was smiling at him. He took an unconscious step back, freeing his chin from Tyre's hold. It was a predatory smile. He had never seen it on Tyre's face before. It brought back a feeling he'd been having for a while but he kept ignoring. When he did remember, or aware enough of it _it_ was more intense than the creeps that you get when you're being watched and he felt it stronger whenever he took showers. Every time he would check the room thoroughly, the door was locked and there was always no one there. His legs threaten to give out on him, his fear and uncertainty about his friends' intentions was lost in another mind numbing wave of need and pain. Tyre grabbed his arm, steadying him and pulling him closer.

"... looking so pained . . . " Tyre licked his lips and gave Quin an appraising look, Quin was still in his scraggily tank and covered in sweat with grit here and there. He moved in closer, breathing in Quin's musky scent, peering into half-lidded, pained eyes that were now a darker brownish green. "I... I'll help you. If, if you do some things for me. I-"

"Any- anything." He answered quickly, his need-hazed mind clearing enough to feel his mouth move and hear the quiver in his voice as his mouth became dryer. He was painfully aware that the usual feeling of detachment that he always got from using the drug was long gone, the pain cementing him to his body to feel it all. Yet, he didn't feel whole. A sense of loss also came over him; it felt like a part of him had gotten away, closed itself off in the absence of the drug.

Then he heard his words too late. He wanted to yell at himself for letting his mouth run without thinking. The pleased look on Tyre's face and his body language told him that he bartered to do more than washing dishes or cooking; Tyre's dark eyes had a lustful gleam to them. He knew then he had bartered a sexual favor for a few more doses. He always knew that Tyre was interested in him and he had told him he didn't swing that way and had nothing against Tyre being that way. His memories of his brothers pained expression flitted across his mind when he told him this but the drug made those memories blissfully dull, numb. He didn't know what he felt about the sneer Tyre was sending his way but for the moment his preferences weren't going to get him what he needed, it didn't matter anymore. He began to psyche himself out, he could do a hand job, he would just imagine he was masturbating. 'Yea.' He decided he'd imagine that he was touching himself with thoughts of a very topless Kayla before him. 'But what if he wanted more than that?' He asked himself, holding back his shiver. He didn't think he could screw Tyre, he wasn't strong enough to do him doggy style . . . swallowing the nauseous feeling that took him. He thought doggy style would be the only he'd be able to do it and delude himself that Tyre wasn't male . . . blocking the sight of his flat chest and protruding member.

'May-maybe a blow job,' he voiced mentally, an echo of the quivering one he had spoken with before. He knew he was desperate. He tried to swallow the lump that lodged itself in his throat again, Kayla had done that for him enough times that he could try it and he'd be damned if he swallowed!

He held out his hand thinking that Tyre would let him dose up before he did his part. Tyre just smiled again and took his hand, pulling him toward his room. A sense of foreboding came over him as he was pulled to Tyre's room. His legs stop working, causing Trye to tug on his arm to continue their forward motion. Quin tried to pull away but Tyre grabbed both of his arms, just below his elbows and all but carted him into the room. Quin could feel his uneasiness mounting over the constant pain. He didn't want to do it, he wanted to leave and tell him to go fuck himself, but everything had a price and if he had gone back out _there_ to the streets he knew the payment would've been worse. Being used by a friend was safer right? In resignation, he stopped resisting when the stray thought of asking Ref for some creds came to him but that had given Tyre all the time he needed. Quin found himself standing near the dresser furthest from the door when he heard the door shut and the lock click.

'Why was he locking the door?'

"T-Ty, why di-did you lock it? I-I know where . . . creds. Yea. I-I can go get som-"

"Shhh. This is fine."

With a pained whimper, Quin started to kneel before Tyre but he was stopped when Tyre caught his chin and tilted his head up, running his thumb over his lips, smearing the blood across them before crushing them with his own. Tyre took his payment in relish, invading his mouth, swallowing Quin's attempts to breathe before he took his body.

xXxXx

The next thing Quin was aware of was the musky heat at his back moving away and something hot sliding out of him, leaving deep-seated pain in its wake. The tight grip on his hands was loosening as the bed dipped, then they let him go completely to bounce lightly on the stained sheets.

Semiconscious, he laid there limp, thinking that he had never done the things Tyre had done to him to Duo or Solo. He wondered if this was some sort of retribution for what he had done to them, but thought it mostly carelessness on his part because he knew that Tyre watched him at school and always made sure he could leave with him after. The one word that best describes Tyre in his mind was obsessed. When he got his job, he had cut back his use of the blue crystals after what had happen with Duo. Tyre demanded reasons as to why he was cutting back, why he wasn't coming to see him anymore. He simply told him personal reasons and Tyre stopped hanging around him as much, becoming distant and volatile. He brought him things and so did Kayla because he would forget to pack lunches. So he was always hungry and they brought plenty of food and he was more than happy to accept it. He realized too late that Tyre had been lacing his food with liquid Streamers. After he found out, he tried to stop using it but it hurt too much to stop. He started not to care as long as he got more of it. He ended up buying more of Ice, just upping the amount he took. He became paranoid and made sure his Mother didn't notice his lack of sleep or avoided answering her questions when he'd go out at night to follow Tyre.

His need for the drug blinded him to all this as he laid there in pain. He came back to himself to wonder if what he was feeling now - disgusted, filthy, ashamed and other things he couldn't name - if this was what they had felt when he hurt them as everything greyed out.

xXxXx

He came to, shaking, still naked and covered in fluids as Tyre hauled him up by his hair off the bed and half-dragged him into the bathroom telling him to get cleaned up. He eventually found himself on the shower floor, mesmerized by the hot spray of water, 'real water . . . only the rich,' he thought, no matter how many times he showered the water still amazed him. He curled up on the shower floor as his stomach twisted up inside. His mind became blank as he vomited what Tyre had made him swallow and passed out next to the putrid goo as the water washed it away.

xXxXx

He awoke at the feel of being moved. His eyes snapped open in alarm and his hands tried to brace his fall when he was dumped in the middle of the livingroom floor. The muscles in his thighs bunched in pain at the impact and his hand went to rub the pain away to encounter his bare, wet skin and a towel tied loosely around his waist. He rose up baring his weight on his wobbling forearms as he panted, trying not to pass out from the pain in his ass. After what seemed like forever, through his own panting and the continuous throb in his head, he could hear something filtering through it all. He could hear voices - Tyre's and at least one was a woman. He lifted his heavy head to look up through his soaked, matted fringe to see four people. A few minutes later, he recognized them as Tyre's 'business associates,' that was what Tyre had told him when he came back early from work one day and was shooed out the room because they were in a deep discussion. He felt their eyes on him then as he did now, watching him, examining him. He shivered. The one woman of the group, early forties, was a pretty blond and seemed so meek that no one would have suspected her of anything like this.

The oldest was a man with stark white hair, his beard and mustache grayish in comparison was stylishly cut to break at the line of his thin pale lips. He sat in a black tweed suit, his black felt hat in his lap with one white gloved hand toying with the feather in its brim. Quin was struck by the man's face, he seemed almost kind with his soft features, prominent cheekbones and aristocrat flare but when he smiled . . . Quin couldn't stop the shudder that went through him, there was something else there in that smile. Before he could get a good look at the other two guys, Tyre came over to him and pulled his head back so that he was up on one foot with his one knee on the floor. A hmm of appreciation and a draft was his only indication that Tyre was displaying him.

"Your entertainment lady and sirs." Quin squeezed his eyes shut, both his hands holding onto the hand pulling his hair. He could feel the flush of embarrassment darkening his cheeks.

When he heard movement, he froze. Then, he groaned wondering why they wouldn't just let him die or sleep or something, he felt so tired. Even wrecked with pain, he had fought Tyre the entire time he used him; bit him back when he could, and when he could do nothing else but feel Trye above him the pain from his withdrawal gave him something else to focus on until Tyre caused greater pain. He huffed mentally, 'This was why he was being careful,' before he could close his legs, the towel was ripped away, his legs held apart and then the hand in his hair was gone, replaced by several other hands, one gripped tightly around his throat keeping him in a kneeling position as another pinched his nose shut.

"Oh Duky, I didn't really believe Tyre would give us this young man. He seemed rather . . . " The woman glanced over at the white-haired man as he approached and her contentment was clearly seen across her face as she touched Quin's chest and pinched his nipples. "...attached to him. I wouldn't blame him. Such a pretty boy. Although, Tyre, I didn't think you would get him to agree to use Crystalis?"

"Lily please. He's an addict. He came begging for more and willing to do any thing for it. I've been giving him samples of it, weaning him off Streamers original by upping the concentration in his dropper little by little and taking some back when he wasn't looking. The clear liquid didn't alter the dark blue color of the original. It was so easy." Tyre said dispassionately, hoping that the monotone drawl in his voice was enough to hide how he really felt. He couldn't help the small smile that crept at the corners of his mouth as he watched Quin struggled and defiantly keep his mouth shut and his eyes closed despite Lily's . . . stimulating touches. He frowned inwardly when he noticed Quin's flushed face darkening in hues and his chest heaved in its demand for air.

"Perhaps I should thank you, even though you were reluctant to give me his work address. I could have simply had the boy brought to me but your betrayal to him makes this so much the sweeter." The cultured voice of the white-haired man boomed in Quin's ear, over the ringing that was already there and his struggle to not give in.

"He's a stubborn thing and he can hardly move . . . " Duke peered up at Tyre from his position behind Quin, smiling when he saw Tyre's jaw clenched, tightening his smile and the hand at his side fist as he ran his hand along Quin's back and lower. "... still so stubborn, even after you had a go at him, hm? Tsk Tsk and he wants to refuse to give us a bite. The shame!" He said with a theatrical flare that had his acquaintances laughing, while Lily continued to entertain herself with Quin's body.

"Shame on you Quin. Trying to make yourself pass out so you miss this whole experience. I highly doubt that you can do that, there are ways of waking you up, boy. You don't want to miss the fun. No, we . . . " His eyes watched Tyre as his hand moved between Quin's legs, "can't have that," he squeezed Quin's balls viciously. Quin gave a strangled scream, his panicked almost hazel eyes snapped open and swivelling to Tyre, " . . . now can we?"

Pain. Quin struggled to close his legs again. His hands drifted down from his neck, releasing the hand at his throat for want of removing the rough hand that kept his balls from shriveling up and trying to crawl up inside his body. But each time he was about to grab for the hand in between his legs, a sudden jerk or pull had his hands going back to claw at and fend off the groping hands and biting teeth. Tears leaked down the sided of his face as he held eye contact with the one person he feebly hoped would put an end to it. He shuddered, panting out his anguish as Tyre gave him a remorseful look. Hope flared in his chest at that look.

"No we can't." Came the cold and lustful reply that killed hope quicker than Quin had felt it bloom in his chest.

And Quin deflated with it. Although he continued to combat the people holding him, he seemed to hang in their grip. Tyre put his emotions aside quickly and poured the shot glass of Crystalis into Quin's mouth. Quin choked and tried to spit it out but a mouth covered his, forcing him to close it against the probing tongue that soon followed.

"Aww come on Poppet, don't spoil the party. He's your partner Tyre, he has to participate, get him to." She whined and turned her glossy eyes to Tyre briefly before returning to Quin trying to get him to give her an open mouth kiss.

"Quin." Duke stated, running his hand through Lily's shoulder length hair, some silent communication passed between them and she mouthed the abused youth's name, moving closer to him.

Duke smiled as Tyre let his startled expression slip from beneath the lust he had been showing them when they used Quin's name. He had thought he had been careful not to mention his name.

"Quinny. Quinny. Can't you taste it? Doesn't it make you feel good? Don't hog it all, it's not fair to the rest of us. Give us a kiss." Lily crooned after releasing his lips only to cover them with her own again. Quin fell back into the arms of his tormentor, gulping for air through his nose when he managed to free it from the hand that held it. The pain made him tremble and he was barely aware that the hand still holding his balls began to roll them. He tried to turn his head away from Lily who lapped at the corners of his mouth where the drug he hadn't swallowed dripped as she pushed herself up against him.

Tyre, gritted his teeth as he watched Lily lick Quin's lips again then nip her way down his jaw to his neck where she suckled his adam's apple. Duke became impatient and knew how Lily was an adamant contender that she didn't sell what she didn't try, but he really didn't care what she wanted, he wanted to see the effects of Crystalis before he went to Earth. The boy had already become slack in his arms, but he wanted to be sure that he swallowed it all and wasn't just holding it in his mouth. He was about to inflict more pain when Quin arched up into Lily, a moan slipping passed his lips. Lily locked lips with him immediately, moaning into his mouth. Duke smiled, that was one of the immediate side effects of Crystalis.

Tyre watched. His groin tighten at Quin's wanton display as he eagerly let them do whatever they wanted, obeyed their commands without resistance, took more of the drug glutenously and cried out in pleasure at his own pain. After some taunts from Lily around her mouthful of Quin and questions from Duke as to how Tyre had rode him as he focused on doing that himself, he joined in, trying to get as much of Quin away from them so they would preoccupy themselves with each other.

xXxXx

Quin came to in the middle of the living room floor. The familiar position left him grasping for memories that evaded his waking mind. He tried to move but he was sluggish, his body felt like it was full of lead and didn't react when he willed it to move. Then he could feel. He was a mess of aches, sharp pricks of pain, blood and then he noticed he was wet . . . he was covered in gunk he couldn't determine. He didn't want to think about what it was. After sometime, he got up to his knees. They were wobbling beneath him as he straighten up using the coffee table when vertigo swept through him. He fell forward onto the low table and then slid down it so that he sat on his knees when he lost consciousness.

xXxXx

He woke again, this time to a squishy feeling and a tingling numbness in and between his legs. It was a strange feeling and roused him completely with the need to move. Images, fragments of memory assaulted him as he became more aware of himself - memories of being pounded into and in many being used by all of them at once. He wasn't sure if he had anything to vomit up but that didn't stop his body from dry heaving.

He felt empty inside.

He needed to know the day. 'It's still daylight,' he thought, 'maybe early morning.' He decided against walking and got his legs to stop wobbling long enough for him to crawl to the TV and read the date as the newscasters began their opening report.

He read the date several times. At that moment, the newscaster's report the happenings around L2 went unheard, the date was the only thing visible to him. His mind couldn't comprehend no matter how many times he did the numbers. He didn't want to accept that so much time had passed . . . it had been four days.

His knees buckled under him and he fell sideways, his naked side making a wet smack against the floor. He cringed and gritted his teeth as the impact sent waves of pain crashing through his body. He wrapped an arm around his middle, wincing as he tried to curl up into a fetal ball but eventually he settled for lying still on the floor.

Choking on the foul taste in his mouth and hating the fact he didn't even have the strength to spit, he laid there thinking. 'Four days,' he had been the wanton whore of Tyre's little drug party. He held back a sob as he felt it, even now through the pain and his self revulsion, he needed. It seemed that once they were done, they left him. Tyre had left him on the floor like a broken and forgotten toy. He felt something warm run across his nose, then his other cheek. He swiped at it, letting his hand drop heavily to the floor in front of him. He stared at it as he tried to bring his knees up to his chest, it was tears . . . blood tinged tears.

xXxXx

Somehow he made it to his room, leaving a bloody trail behind him. The tears had stopped by the time he got into his bed. The next thing he was aware of was the loud boom of the door to his room being thrown open and his blanket ripped away from him. Tyre was there and his face was contorted in so many expressions that Quin's pain idled mind couldn't focus on any one expression long enough to sort them all. But the dominant expression that consumed Tyre's high cheek boned face was fear and what could have been regret. It didn't matter now. He felt the darkness at the edges of his mind calling, offering the comfort of unconsciousness. He closed his half lidded eyes and turned his head away from him.

He was so close to letting go when he heard Tyre's approach. Suddenly, chilled hands grabbed his hips and lifted them up, turning him on his side. He bucked weakly, a groan of pain slipping passed his lips when he felt the warm wet spot he had been lying in cooling on his backside.

Quin fought with Tyre as he tried to check, clean, staunch and treat what he could. Then he was rushing out again to return with another man. Quin clung to the covers as the man approached, sweat beaded on his brow as he shook from the chill. He feverishly looked from one man to the next. He thought that Tyre would have left him alone once he was done, not whore him out to someone until he died. He asked himself why couldn't Tyre just let him bleed to death alone.

He tried to listen when he realized the two were talking, catching only 'sterile', 'sedative' and 'unorthodox' when he saw Tyre shaking his head no and telling the man that he was a user. Well it was more like he pointed to the little packet of blue powder on his bedside table. The man had nodded back and they were on him. Tyre flipped him onto his stomach and held his hands above his head as the man spread and bound his ankles to the bedposts then put a pillow beneath him so his butt was raised. Quin's struggles soon acquiesced to weak whimpers and then pained cries as a poignant antiseptic was used and he felt himself spread where it had been numb before. Quin's screams of agony increased in volume as the man cleaned and stitched him up inside. Both men sighed in relief and tensed when Quin's cries abruptly died. Tyre felt the hands in his go limp, with worried eyes, he kept his eyes on Quin's red tear stained face and gathered some comfort from the erratic pulse he felt in the wrists he held.

For days, Tyre waited on him hand and foot, forced him to eat and drugged him up with Streamers when he couldn't stand his pained moans or if Quin woke up screaming at night. Quin remained mostly unresponsive to him, except when Tyre's hands lingered where he didn't want to be touched, flinching away from it. As soon as he was able to move he started locking the door after Tyre left soup on his bedside table, then locking it thirty or so minutes before Tyre returned from 'work' at night. He didn't care if he didn't eat. He didn't want him to touch him.

xXxXx

Over a week later, he stopped locking himself in his room and got dressed for work. He looked at himself in the mirror, tracing the reflection of his bow shaped lips. They were bruised in such a way that they were a deep red and he idly thought of a similar color of lipstick that Kayla wore occasionally. He didn't know anyone with lips that were naturally that red. 'Did they make a concealer for lips?' Kayla would know, he thought about calling her but his voice was very scratchy at best, his throat was still sore for a variety of reasons he wouldn't put to thought. He followed the line of his nose in his reflection and settled on his eyes, they were not the color they were before. They both held a yellow tint in the irises, it bothered him and always brought him to an abrupt stop when he passed the bathroom mirror. He would start to question who it was he saw there but then turn away.

Aside from that, there were no other marks on his face. The rest of his bruises and cuts, he could hide beneath his long sleeved shirt. He knew how odd it would seem for him to be wearing such warm clothing considering the weather controllers still had it set on hotter than hell out but he couldn't stay here at night, not now that he was better. He had called in to work and found out that Tyre had called him out sick. He put his thoughts aside on when Tyre had done that and arranged to get some light work by doing inventory at night. It was cooler at night so his recuperating body wouldn't suffer too badly from wearing thicker clothing. He knew he was a bit on the thin side after over a week of soft foods and soup but he would gain quickly once he got his appetite back, he had to. He needed to take care of some things.

He was almost to the door when he was accosted by Tyre. Quin was stunned into stillness by Tyre's thanks to him and learned he was now his partner in the club he took over. Once he got over the initial shock, he tried to shove Tyre away only to have his path to door completely blocked. Tyre grabbed his arms making him grind his teeth in pain at the reawakening bruises on them. He was spun around and then pressed bodily by Tyre against the door.

Quin balled his fists at his sides. He wouldn't let it happen again, but Tyre surprised him and whispered that the white-haired man insisted that someone as appealing as him work with Tyre to promote the club. Tyre told him that without him he wouldn't have gotten the extra money or the owner to give him the club. He thanked him again. He handed him several vials of clear liquid. Quin eyed them as he rolled them over in his shaky hand and Tyre laughed as he pressed his hand closed around them. He told him there's no going back to weaker stuff and that Crystalis would make the world fall away. He then opened the door and walked with him to work.

xXxXx

Despite his promise to himself, he was abused countless times in the following months by Tyre and his colleagues. Some partnership. When he found himself with Duke, the man would be sitting in a cushioned, high back chair watching the simulated fire flicker in the fireplace. Often he had him laid across a low sofa, covered in a thin sheet until the detached feeling Quin got from the drugs began to wane. Duke had told him once that he was amazed, how out of all the others that they overdosed on any form of Streamers or introduced to its most potent form - Crystalis - to, he continued to live.

That's how it always started with him. Unlike his comrades he liked to talk. Quin knew that was how the man had wormed his way into him with gentleness and words that the others who used him lacked. It made him unconsciously trust the man and crave the reprieve his company gave. Although it always came down to Duke taking or him servicing the man in some way, regardless of his refusal. Once Duke had his feel of, he would pet and cuddle with him afterwards. He told him he had staying power and that he was amazed that after a day of being with Harve, the worst of them, he would still go to work the following day.

Work, was all he had then. It was the only thing that grounded him and kept him sane. No matter how Quin had tried to get away, they got to him through the drugs. They would cut off his supply for however long it took for him to go to Tyre. Oh there were other dealers but they had someone watching their guinea pig and made sure that the dealer knew costs of selling to him. When Quin had no choice but to go to Tyre, Tyre would make sure that he overdosed, ensuring that he would be their willing whore.

He hated it.

He remembered how Tyre had looked when he showed up at the apartment that time, it was the last time they would trick him into being their fuck toy. He had walked home, naked. His hair was matted red and he was clutching a hairy, bloody mass in his hand. He realized that Tyre wasn't paying attention, 'Probably thinking about his turn with me tonight.' Tyre's smile confirmed Quin's assumption and he was satisfied that the crazed look in his tinged hazel greens was shadowed by his unusually red bangs when his eyes met Tyre's brown. He watched as it registered to Tyre that he was standing naked before him and Quin's grin grew as he saw Tyre's eyes trail down his form to settle on the hairy, blood clumped mass he clutched in his right hand. He watched as confusion clouded Tyre's face and as his scrutinizing eyes narrowed then widen at the string of blue and pink tissue peeking out from between his loosening fingers.

"I-I . . . " Quin's body trembled in shock, making him stutter. He swallowed watching Tyre's almond-shaped eyes follow the motion of his throat before he continued. "I-I told Harve I'm noone's bitch." Quin's glossy eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled at Tyre's horrified expression as his words sank in and he opened his hand to reveal the bloody mass of tissue and hair. He lifted his hand toward Tyre while Trye moved closer to gore in Quin's hand, drawn to it like a moth to a flame, fully aware of the danger he was in because his toy was now a killer. Quin petted it before he dropped it at Tyre's feet. Tyre blanched and stepped back as a testicle rolled free of the mass and left a red streak as it came toward him.

Quin closed the door and went to shower, leaving Tyre gasping for words.

xXxXx

It all fell in place like clock work. His abusers usually spoke to each other at the end of the week, each making sure they had their turn before work called them away or the weekend came and always sent for him to be brought to them in a seedy, destitute area of the colony where his screams or pleas would go unnoticed by the multitude of others. He was glad that for his revenge, money wasn't going to be an issue. He had the money because of the tricks the bastards had used to get him into their beds. Tyre, was another matter. He knew how to keep him in check.

The following day he was sent for and that night he learned the name of his other abuser, Boughs. Before he killed him, he learned from him that his abusers were not from L2 and that the last one colony bound was the woman, Lily.

Though, Quin would find out too late that Lily knew about his activities and had already sent a vid message to Duke's Sanc residence. She made sure she encoded the message because Duke had warned her of his relatives, particularly one oddly browed-blond, whose natural inquisitiveness led her to be a snoop in his affairs on more than one occasion.

Quin wasn't surprised when Lily sought him out. He had not heard the murders hit the news yet. He had been careless the first time with Harve but calculating the second time, so he thought he still had time. The moment he was seized by large men when he entered her suite and Lily, even though drugged, told him she didn't want to die yet; he knew he'd lost his easy cover. She smiled prettily, her eyes wide and glossy as she gave him a quick peck on the lips. She waved her hand at her guards and told them to make him more malleable, so they roughed him up. She then had him stripped and tied to the bed. She caressed his bruised cheek as he turned his head away from her and whispered, "a good fuck poppet before you send me off."

She dismissed her guards. She told them they'd receive their last checks a week from that day and murmured to herself with a distant look in her eyes that she was tired of it all. She had one of the guards drag in a chest before he left and she scooped out of it a ball gag and was fastening it onto Quin while she gave him the names of their main suppliers and transferred one of her accounts to his name.

She told him she always looked after her special boys and she made him enjoy it as she used him. She described each toy in the chest and their use before she demonstrated on him. The few times he had been lucid around her told him that she had used them on him before. She was riding him when she decided she wanted to end it. She flipped them so that he was on top, untied his hands and let out an involuntary gasp when they flew to her neck. She had been expecting it. She liked experiencing asphyxia during sex but she couldn't stop her body from responding as she choked and grabbed a hold of his hands trying to pull them away from her throat.

Tears fell from his eyes as he gritted his teeth and tried to stay focused on strangling her and not the orgasm she was bringing him to. Her face showed her fear but she urged her body, made her legs hold her hips against him as she rocked them, her moist walls continued to work and caress his cock. Her fearful look melted into a pleased smile, even though she still choked, her hands ran up his arms before her eyes rolled back into her head and she arched up into him one final time.

Quin screamed as he followed her into orgasm, he released her neck and dropped his head to her shoulder as he came hard inside her. He shivered, the waves of pleasure still hitting him, weakening him as he pushed himself up and out of her. He peered over the folds of his arms to see her mouth frozen in her last pleasured moan, her eyes half open yet vacant and her body cooling beside him. He pulled the cover around himself and cried.

- - - xXxX (End Flashback) XxXx- - -

A fleeting feeling of sickness passed over him, bile lapped at the back of his throat as he opened his eyes to stare down in hate at the figure beneath him. Tyre's fitfully sleeping form gave a pained moan and he thought it was fitting that he dies that way. Watching the once chiseled chest before him rise and fall with each labored breath, Quin idly played with the bracelet he took from Lily, and thought about all the money in the account she gave him. He didn't try to understand why she did what she did but the information she gave him was more than enough evidence to incriminate several high officials and their factions. It also showed that L2 was their testing ground, the numerous human guinea pigs and how their termination went unnoticed. Even after the Streamers threat was understood, no one noticed the untimely deaths of the poor, orphans or homeless people because more came to take their place.

He smiled. He never would have thought he would've been this well off at twenty-four. Still, with his credits, he hadn't been able to find Duke, and that first name was all he had to go on. Quin wasn't going to give up though, after he watched Tyre die he was going to travel to Earth and track him down and hopefully have a pet to keep him company. He smiled, taking out his faithful dropper and watched the clear liquid move like oil inside. He thought of the teen who'd make a good pet before he frowned and took enough to silence the distressed yammering in the back of his head. He smiled at the silence and continued to create images of a prostrated, braided brunette in his mind.

Tbc...

Ok, the drug I concocted here is in two forms and three concentrations, starting from the lowest: Ice -a consumable powder, is sometimes referred as Streamers; Streamers- liquid form; Crystalis - the most concentrated liquid form of the substance, oily or viscous quality to it.

Shesh that was another hard one to write. I hope I got Quin's state of mind across. What do you feel for him?

Thank you for the reviews and the other pilots will make their debut soon.


	8. go from here

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing or the characters therein are not mine. (falls asleep) nnnn

Warnings: POV shifts, angst (not in this chapter though), see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: . . .

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

eight- go from here

By lunch time, Duo could hear the rising lisps of voices, gossip and giggles among the girls. He knew that word was already out about the performance at the Rox, he was thankful it was a dark club even with the strobe lights flashing, not everyone could say for sure it was him. He leaned down to drink from the water fountain outside the lunchroom when a hand pushed between his legs, forcing him to freeze and consequently choke on the water as he jerked himself upright. The unwelcome hand rubbed his balls from behind as the soft body it belonged to pressed itself against him.

"See that's not so bad. You could have been enjoying this and more if you hadn't ran away back there." Risking personal injury with a flushed face, he dropped his head back missing his target to hear her squeak in alarm and feel the quick retreat of her hand.

He rounded to scowl at his groper only to be bumped by her waterfall of russet curls. He scowled at her back, ignoring the kiss she blew him when she sat down facing the doorway to the lunchroom. Once he had liked Brianna, _once_, but not anymore.

As he walked through the lunch line, he noticed the cliques of girls in random places around the cafeteria, talking in gleefully high tones, their eyes fluttering over the lunchroom for unsuspecting teenaged boys to harass in some way. Duo had felt those eyes on him, following him as he picked up the special in a sealed Styrofoam container and placed it on his tray. He sat at a corner table near the windows and found himself not actually focusing on the voices and their words but the murmur that came from them all. It was filling, lively and randomly accentuated by louder voices, words that were clearly heard as the person ignored the annoyed looks of others.

Duo likened the sound of it to the ebb and flow of the ocean somehow. He had never seen the ocean, only what he had read about or saw on TV but this cacophony of voices, was as close to the real thing as a poor colony kid like himself could get at the moment. Hilde had been to Earth and saw the real thing - she told him how from the shore, the sky and water seemed endless. He wanted to go. He wanted out of this tin can of artificial everything. He wanted Solo to know what it was like under earthen sky. A tray slid across the table, stopping directly across from him, he looked up into two green smiling eyes. He smiled back knowing they would get there.

"Duo, I heard Hilde got you to sing." Solo said with a wan smile, he was glad his brother went out to do something fun. He worked too much and slept so little, just like their Mother. He felt like he was the cause, that it was his fault. He knew that wasn't the truth but he couldn't help but feel like he was adding to that pressure, their need to work so much. He was regretting that he had spent the weekend over at Tabitha's. He pouted, his tousled locks making him look like a petulant child with the exception of the fine lines creeping along his jaw and cheeks that slowly cut away his baby features.

'Gawd I'm going to have to beat chicks off him when we get dirtside,' Duo thought smiling up at his brother.

"Yep!" A dark head of hair, that shone purple even under the dim lunch room lights, came twirling over, a celery stick bouncing lightly at the corner of her mouth as she chewed and smiled plopping down next to Solo. "Aww Solo you look soo cute!" Hilde cooed, pinching his cheeks while making baby sounds at him.

"Ah. Hildeee!" Solo's hands flew up to fend off her attack to his cheeks.

"More like tricked." Duo grumbled, sending a light hearted glare her way.

Hilde released her captive, who mumbled a 'that hurt' before rubbing his cheeks with both hands, and pointed the chewed end of her veggie at Duo and snorted, "Like you didn't enjoy yourself."

"I'll admit that but I don't care much for the extra attention. You know how the preen teens are. I don't want to be targeted for their little initiation games and have someone try to work me over so they can be a part of their group." Solo nodded in agreement, keeping his hands protectively over his cheeks while glancing over at Hilde who looked down her celery at Duo and smirked.

"Yea, the preps can be assholes. But I'm not worried."

"Of course not. It's not you they'll be buggin', ass pinchin', or tryin' to lay up with."

"Ha, yea and I'm sure you can handle any misguided kid they send your way." Hilde smiled knowingly, waving her unoccupied hand a few times to dismiss his worries as unfounded.

"Well that was before they up the ante and tried gang banging people in the hallway."

"Uh, when did that happen?" Hilde asked curiously, her face a comical sight with her eyes nearly as wide as the meat ball between her lips.

"Hmm, lets see . . . the second I went to my locker after class!" Duo glowered at Hilde and she squirmed in her seat.

"Hey no way, we were-"

"It happened twenty minutes ago." A faint blush crept across his cheeks when he thought of Brianna coming at him for that second feel moments ago.

"Oh. Chit, are you ok?" She asked sincerely while his brother arched a brow in question as well.

"Ch. I'm fine." Duo mumbled, his heated look giving way to sheepishness as he continued. "They thought they saw the new guy and ran after him. But Tabitha was nearby and helped me lose the puppies that were still at my heels. Shesh, all girls aren't like that when there's a guy they like... are they?"

Hilde shrugged, "Hey you're looking at evidence right here that all girls aren't alike. I just think that we have a lot more of 'Oh, wow he's hot betcha I can get him before you, then toss him away faster' obsessive overly primped-stalker types here that let their hormones get the best of them. But for guys that's an everyday thing." She shrugged again and took a sip of her soda.

"Hey same thing goes for most guys Hil, not all guys are like that." Hilde's answer was to shrug again and eat a carrot stick. "Brianna's horde is definitely one to watch out for. I think everyone is more focused on the visiting student." Solo continued nudging his brother's foot in an attempt to mollify him and get rid of the serious look on his face. It disturbed him not to see even a hint of a smile on his brother's face when his smile was always one of things that never failed him in dark moments.

He found himself trying not to think of how the girls in Brianna's posse had pursued him when he first arrived, regardless of the age difference. He swallowed his mouthful of the special and proceeded to douse it in ketchup. 'Yeah I was lucky,' he thought, 'I had Hilde and Duo to run interference.' Solo felt fearful of being in that kind of situation again, the helplessness brought back unwanted memories that he tried desperately to forget. He could handle a crush or two but not the sex games that Brianna played.

"That's who they're gossiping about?" Duo inclined his head in the direction of the tables with the gushing girls and the bantering boys trying to impress them.

Solo nodded, drinking some water before continuing, "They keep comparing him to some rich kid from L4."

"Oh yea, but they don't know that its him because his father barely lets the press get wind of where they travel, let a lone pictures of his kids." Hilde added, drowning the celery in ranch dressing and popping it in her mouth. "'e srt F retory 'gram chat we flied 4. 'E 'as mut cutt 2!"

"Uh... right, could say that again but without all chewiness of the food?"

"Not my fault. I'm not the one who teaches bad habits to the young and impressionable!" She pointed her index finger at him, looking like a mother reprimanding a small child. Duo grinned around his mouthful and showed its chewed up remains to her.

"Uhh, don't do that." She shook her head and threw a fry at him, which he caught in his mouth and promptly ate. He showed her that mashed potatoes could come from french fries even if they were fried. "Uh, Duo!" Looking a little green, she turned her head and repeated what she had said before, "I said he's a part of that college program we applied for at the Darlian Institute. So whether or not he's this Winner kid everyone's talking about, we can still ask him how he feels about it and all. And if there will be any problems for Solo because of his age. Heck, while we're at it, we can warn him about Bray and her quest to lay every cute guy in this school."

"Hil said he has a cute butt too." Solo threw in, ducking when Hilde tried to bop him upside his head. Instead of trying to hit him again, she turned away to stare out the window, hoping the heat in her cheeks wasn't giving way to the telltale blush that he had been right.

As Duo and Solo's laughter calmed, a hush cut across the lunchroom. They figured that a bunch of students must have left for class, but that wasn't the case. Across from them at a center table closest to the double doors leading into the cafeteria, a curly haired brunette rose up so that one knee rested on the seat and her high-heeled foot steadied her on the floor. She whispered to a lanky teen with pepper grey hair as he nodded with a light flush over his cheeks to confirm her hurried whispers in his ear while glancing at the door.

From the door, the sudden drop in the noise volume and something else he couldn't explain caused the frosty haired blonde entering the cafeteria to pause at the entrance. His guide, a overly vocal and sullen hall monitor, darted off to the lunch line. A small crease appeared between his brows went unnoticed as some girls nearby swooned at the smile that he had fixed on his face. He walked with confident, graceful strides after his guide. His long lashed, wide aquamarine eyes flitting over the room while he continued conversing with his guide, Tabitha, over the suspicious content of the special. He laughed when she said some of the students disappeared after eating it and that the rumor was that they were in the special.

He appeared meek with his smooth face and delicate features. His almost white blond hair cupped his face while his bangs spilled over his forehead causing the light to shift in his eyes making them appear as either evergreen or aqua blue. His observer found herself settling her gaze on his lips as he talked with Tabitha, they had a slight dip with a soft pink color that complemented his tanned skin. His features gave him a feminine air but there was no mistaking that he was male. 'Hello there,' thought his observer and she noted that she liked the way he laughed, it had an infectious spark just like his smile. Her eyes took in his lean frame in khakis and a striped pastel colored shirt open four buttons down to reveal his white under shirt. She smiled thinking of ways to free him from his clothes and get him into something she liked. Even if he wasn't the Winner heir her friends thought he was, she'd get him one way or another.

She watched Tabitha touch his shoulder and scowled at her. "Retro freak," she uttered lowly looking at Tabitha's red color fingertips, nails and the deep red square that the girl had painted down the center of her lips to match the red eye shadow over her dark brown eyes. It made her look tribal in some sense, exotic and the girl was pretty enough that the odd combination made her look otherworldly. She bristled. She wouldn't have her interfere with getting her prey.

She gazed down at her manicured hand thinking, the cooing and excited chatter of her friends breaking her line of thought continuously no matter her efforts to tune them out. 'Uh! Preschoolers, that's what I'm surrounded by! Missed my chance at one of those Maxwell brats because they saw blue eyed blondie.' The pepper haired teen was leaning behind her, lightly resting his head against her hip. He turned his head and rubbed his nose against her, inhaling deeply and before he could exhale he found himself sprawled backward over another student behind him, rubbing at the scratch on the side of his. He sat up with a helpful shove from the person he had been crushing and gave the brunette the expression of a kicked puppy. She stuck her nose in the air with a huff ignoring his expression and returned her eyes to the innocent looking blonde.

"Kirk, back up. I can't breathe with you sniffing at me all the time." She rolled her eyes at the boys' blush and focused on her target again. "Well gang since none of you seem to be willing to introduce us to the tan cutie over there, I'll just introduce myself."

She shook her head, her russet curls came forward over her spaghetti strapped shoulders as she walked casually over to the tanned blond who was leaving the lunch line still talking with Tabitha. She smiled when she caught his eye but frowned when he only smiled in her direction and continued to follow Tabitha to the corner of the lunch room with large windows. She huffed. Putting her hands on her slender hips as she watched him walk away, she hated being ignored even a little bit. When Brianna walked up to anyone, they never turned away from her without looking foolish, but he did it and her posse just stared at her expectantly. 'He just didn't know the rules. I'll just have to teach him.' She smiled to herself as she strolled over to him.

The frosty blonde didn't know what he was looking for but he felt the pull get stronger the closer he got to the corner of the cafeteria. He watched, from afar, as a braided youth animatedly re-enacted something, and from his theatrical overtones he guessed it was the part of Hamlet talking to the ghost of his father. He couldn't help but laugh as the braided youth looked accusingly at the wall and then was suddenly in an imaginary sword fight using his tray as a shield and his spoon as his sword. He was about ask Tabitha who they were when the curly haired girl, he had sent a friendly smile to, stepped in front of him.

"Hey. Hey it was Caspian wasn't it." She stated as fact, sure of herself and left no room for debate even if it wasn't his name. "Right. To feel truly welcomed here, won't you come and sit with us. It's not good to associate with the slum sludge when one of your obvious status and. . . as distinguished as yourself could be with us." She smiled sweetly at him and batted her long lashes.

Caspian could tell that she really didn't mean 'us' the way she had said it but he knew all sorts of ways of saying things, he had attended enough of his father's private business meetings and had his own debates with the Peacecrafts and other young adult members of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation (ESUN) to know this. Talking on the sly, irritated him to no end. He had patience but not right now, not when he was so close to what was pulling him. Why couldn't she be straight to the point? He wondered, this was school not some consortium of old farts playing word games to get what they wanted.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?"

She blanched, surprised that he hadn't heard of her yet. They had been watching him for two days now.

"Brianna," she said sweetening her smile when he smiled at her. She walked with him, running his accented voice through her head but she couldn't figure out the dialect. She thought herself a language buff but Duo would constantly piss her off when he would guess a person's general region of origin by ear. She was so into her own thoughts that she wasn't paying attention to where they were going, and felt confident that she could in him over.

"Brianna, thank you for the offer but I have some things to discuss with Tabitha about class. Another time perhaps." He smiled at her and she felt like a puddle of goo. She liked his voice too.

"Hey Duo, Hil and Solo. This is Caspian Parish. I brought him over and offered him our help in getting familiarized with this place." Caspian smiled and extended his hand to them. When he came to the braided one he was stunned by the color of his eyes, said boy bypassed his offered hand and dropped an arm across his shoulders giving him a quick squeeze as he ushered him closer to the table.

Brianna blinked several times, the rejection just hitting her as she stood beside him dotingly, 'Like some love sick pup!' She thought in frustration, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Hey welcome to Colonial Heights. You'd think they woulda thought of a more original name for this school but nope, that's its name. And I see you've already met the class President here, Bray." Duo released Caspian and turned to Brianna. "Ain't she just the picture of the student _body_." Duo gushed looking back at Caspian and sending a quick leer in Brianna's direction. It wasn't often he got the horny girl riled up enough to blush in anger or embarrassment, but she did so quicker than a hot pot set to boil and he snickered to himself. "I'm sure she did the whole _civil_ thing and offered you a _personal_ tour, maybe even-"

"Maxwell! That's enough. It's not Bray, it's Bree-An-Na. For a learned individual you sure can't speak properly, you obviously have no manners or know how to address a lady when you see one." Brianna huffed, ignoring Hilde and Solo's snickering and didn't bother to acknowledge freak girl. "As I was about to say-"

"Hey Breeeat," Duo said grinning as he rolled the 'e' in her name. "Do you need to sit down? You're a bit red in the face, you want some of my water, I only sipped it and I swear I didn't spit in it. Mama showed us how to drink from a glass ya know." He said in mocked concern, bringing the glass closer to her. "Or maybe you need something else, since you seem so hot and bothered?" Duo said in a low husky voice. 'Payback is so good,' he thought with a sly smirk as he stepped up to her, his face inches from hers.

Her brown eyes stretched and her cheeks flushed. He was in her face. Breathing the same air as her! A part of her said 'the nerve' while the other said 'he smells nice.' She knew that Duo had had an interest in her when they were freshmen and she had tried to use it to her advantage, but Hilde spoiled her chance. She shook off her distracting thoughts, narrowing her eyes as she focused on her annoyance of him for coming into her personal space. Before she could voice that annoyance though, they were nose to nose and she involuntarily squeaked, her cheeks flushing more. She hastily stepped back.

"Damn it Maxwell. You were _not_ given permission to come that close! There is such a thing as personal space." She squeaked out trying to save face by looking more concerned about her hair, fluffing the curls to make sure they came over one shoulder even though they seemed to gravitate toward the middle of her back. She then checked her pockets, trying to make it seem casual and let out a puff of air in relief that her pocket purse was still in her skirt. She hadn't felt Duo touch her but she knew how slum brats were. She glared at Duo who was looking at her with wide innocent eyes.

"Well you and your horde need a lesson in that because you sure don't understand the concept." Hilde piped up before Duo could send a retort her way.

The peppered haired teen, Kirk, chose that moment to come over and look menacing. He was 5'9 and usually used his height and blockish frame from playing football to his advantage.

"Max-"

"Kirk, shut up. Caspian. Hopefully you'll reconsider hanging out with them." She said sweetly, sending a quick glare at a grinning Duo before turning Kirk and pushing him back toward their table.

"I'm fine here, thank you." She nodded in his direction and glared at everyone else at the table, strutting with her head tilted so that her nose was in the air as she sat gracefully in a chair at the head of her groups' table.

Solo and Hilde broke out laughing, Tabitha smirked while Duo and Caspian shared an amused smile.

"C-man I've just met you and I think of you as family already. I bet Bray thought she so had you hooked." Duo shook his head.

"Then that's a usual occurrence?" It was hard for him not to notice all the looks he had been receiving since his arrival and he was thankful that he had enough control over his empathy that he could block the feelings and sometimes thoughts that filtered through such a strong focus.

"Yea, that horde loves to use people." Tabitha replied.

"If you want to hang with us you only have to worry about one person grabbing your ass." Duo commented with his joker's grin as he all but pointed at Hilde, who flushed at the attention.

"Duo! Shaddup." She half grumbled, turning to Caspian and smiling with a slight twitch in her eye as she switched from glaring at Duo to looking at Caspian imploringly. "Uh Caspian... it's not... I mean... oh don't listen to him, he's just the group Jester." Hilde said glancing back at the grinning Duo, who bowed with Joker's grin firmly in place.

"At yor service milords and miladies." She glared at him again, he couldn't hide his laughter behind his smile, she could see it in how his eyes brighten. Caspian smiled at them. "Me thinks the lady's just a wee bit shy. Why Solo can attest to malady's wish to woo ye. If I may quote ye milord-"

"Duo, I swear-"

Caspian chuckled as Duo continued to tease Hilde. Tabitha's red colored finger tips waving the two off brought Caspian's attention back to her. "It's pretty liberal here and some of the teachers are Pervs." He watched how she moved her hands; they were graceful and it reminded him of ancient customs dealing with the use of henna in some marriage ceremonies, and henna used in some sexual ceremonies- Kama Sutra. Caspian could feel the heat rise in his face. He understood the basics about sex but that didn't include Kama Sutra basics. He remembered finding the text among Iria's things and had a nose bleed when he saw the fully illustrated first page. But before he could look into it more Iria whisked it away and promised he'd never find it again and he hadn't.

He thought that the time he and Abdul hid away in one of the many rooms of the Winner residence in Sanc to watch porn would've cured him of his blushing fits whenever the subject was brought up. He shook his head mentally, he guessed that not having the actual experience was partly the reason why he reacted the way he did.

Abdul Parish was his guardian, although older than him by three years, he was just as tightly held under lock and key but that was mostly because he was usually accompanying him if Rashid, his adopted father, was busy. They both had an understanding about overprotective fathers. Sometimes, he and Abdul would sneak away after of some major convincing on his part which was usually in the form of an ultimatum - he was going to go with or without him and he promised he'd be gone by the time Abdul found either of their fathers to tell them anything. 'I was such a brat, growing up.' He thought, but even with their secret outings- though limited they were- they were too busy with other things to focus on sex education for him.

At thirteen he asked his Father very bluntly, 'what is sex.' He had looked it up in the dictionary, it was unhelpful and his sisters wouldn't tell him, he knew it was impart to their incessant coddling. His wide eyes and innocent look made his Father's cheeks flush. He remembered and laughed to himself at the shocked looked on his Father's face, it was so funny. He'd bet that in his family's eyes, he was still a baby. He still got all that baby crap from his sisters even now and he had a few nephews that were his age but he didn't see them enough to make friends and talk about stuff like sex and girls. So he was not surprised by his Father's response, an evasive trip to the Zoo. A few zebras, a lion, and an elephant hat later he found himself having to babysit for one of his sisters. So the 'talk' was avoided until Sex Ed class.

"That's for sure." Solo piped up and Caspian snapped back to the here and now, fighting back his blush as a pornographic image resurfaced from his memories.

"Shit, they are. Watch out for old man Williams. If you feel an itch or anything odd that you associate with someone staring at you, you'll see him standing there with those, beady eyes and dentures, not so subtly look away and then make no attempt to hide that he had been staring at you in the first place."

"Oh yea! What is it that he says to you Duo?!" Hilde snickered from behind her hand, food long forgotten.

Duo sighed, holding one end of his braid in one hand as he studied it's tufted end. He rested his chin on his other hand. He pouted before he answered. "He usually says, in one form or another as he stares at my ass, 'Always wondered where all that food went - fat as a swamp possum.' Shesh... My ass is no different than any other ass and its skinny just like the rest of me. So, I don't get how the old fart can see it?!" Duo stood, turned and pointed at his jean clad butt. "See, they fit me just right, not too tight or loose." He shook his butt for emphasis and they laughed.

"Duo, sit your skinny ass down." Hilde chuckled, throwing her much despised broccoli at him.

"Hey don't pass nothing in front of our guest. We don't want to have to take him to nurse Linoskivo." Tabitha smirked then laughed at Duo's queasy look before he sat down and pushed his tray away.

"You definitely don't want to go there right away. It smells like bleach in there and if you go there you'll be sent off worse than toughenin' out. But really, Mr. Williams's a nice old dude, but you'd think they'd retire his ass from the English department after his graphic description of everything phallic in poetry, and saying Emily Dickinson was so uptight 'cuz she didn't get any..."

Caspian smiled, Duo talked as much as he did; or so he was told one time when he had too much sugar by Heero. Their conversation continued, each taking turns telling Caspian what to expect in his new surroundings even if it was for only a week or two. They found out that their schedules alternated with Caspian, in that one or two of them class had a class with him each period. They all ended with Mr. Engles' 7th period Physics.

Duo began to warn Caspian about Mr. Engles and Caspian glanced over the four of them. He smiled half listening to Duo, feeling high on this sense of wholeness that swept through him. He couldn't quite tell where the feeling came from but it made him content. Back at the Darlian Institute, he had always felt that something was missing, not only from himself, but from his group of friends as well. His heart told him he found it here. He was sure his friends would feel it too, but who was it. He tried to pinpoint which person it was, mostly out of curiosity, as Tabitha moved to sit by Duo and Caspian was ushered to sit in between Hilde and Solo.

As soon as he began, Caspian lost hold of his concentration. His brows creased as the pain, confusion, admiration and curiosity of someone in this group flickered through his senses. He found himself leaning forward a little, the pain was so intense and so palpable that he felt it as if it were his own. Tears brimmed his eyes as he unconsciously delved deeper into it, wanting to find the source of it and make it stop. At his quiet but quick inhalation, he was aware of the eyes on him; in particular the eyes belonging to the emotional tumult that hijacked his empathy. With a slight turn of his head, he was looking up into Solo's face.

Solo stared back, his expression closed off and Caspian thought... felt that the half smile frozen on Solo's face was a mask that he could pull off. He found himself reaching up to do just that, still staring unerringly into widening green eyes.

"...that Engles can be a hard ass when it comes to those damn projects. I mean they're fun and all but if you don't do it the way he did it, then he suddenly shouts 'WRONG'!"

Caspian started. Solo jumped and turned his back to Caspian at Duo's exclamation. Solo glared at Duo who laughed outright as he continued, "Yea we all still get startled and some glares are sent his way as well. I swear that Engles must be plotting during his lunch hour and works up schematics of new ways to work the word in such a way that it still has enough force to startle us." Duo chuckled to himself.

"Yea." Hilde shook her head, "I'll sue that man for all the near heart attacks he has been giving me."

"You mean cute-attacks don'tcha?"

"Shaddup, Duo. Mr. Engles is (cute in a distinguished sort of way) a tough grader, if you are really wrong he'll dock you a letter grade."

"You'll love Physics lab with us there. I _guarantee_, you will not be bored." Duo said with a Cajun accent and a mischievous light in his eyes that Caspian couldn't help but smile at. Although he was a bit wary of what awaited him in Physics lab later that afternoon.

"Yea, Bro literally blows things up. I think we're the only ones crazy enough to partner with him." Solo added, coming out his daze. He felt a bit flustered at what he felt a few moments ago. He felt dirty, like someone had invaded the privacy of his... mind? 'Gah, this is crazy. I need to get some sleep.' He rubbed his eyes and resumed what he had thought he was doing earlier which was now stabbing the remains of the special in its Styrofoam container.

"Oi, C-man? Is Casper ok with you dude? I mean I could just call ya Caspian but where's the fun in that!"

Caspian smiled at Duo, trying to ignore his heated checks and finding himself caught by those violet eyes. He squirmed in his seat, what was wrong with him today. Something was seriously wrong with Solo, but as soon as he felt it-it was gone and now his focus shifted to Duo. His brows knitted together briefly as he guessed it was because Solo was thinking about Duo in some way.

His laugh. His smile. His eyes. His strength.

Duo was his anchor, but as that revelation hit Caspian the litany made him focus again on Duo. Yes, he could appreciate beauty and Duo's eyes were beautiful. Not just his eyes either, but they struck him the most because he had never seen eyes that color. '...the blend of fathomless blues when nightfall approached or the varied hues of scarlet at sun rise...' He half-voiced mentally, remembering the sunsets he had watched alone before he had left earth.

Caspian rubbed the bridge of his nose as his mind made an inarticulate sound form from his confusion. He closed himself off, feeling more control over his thoughts now that they didn't try to echo Solo's. The memory of pain was also fading, leaving a residual green glow when he closed his eyes. It made him think of Trowa's eyes, which were a deeper green. He felt warmth flood him at the thought of those eyes, he felt they were as complex as their possessor. He blushed, ducking his head.

'Oh Allah! You just met these people and you're already blushing in front of them with thoughts of Trowa running through your head!' He berated himself mentally, picking at his food. He was embarrassed with himself and ashamed for losing control and invading Solo's privacy. A small part of him was happy he did because he would have continued to bury his feelings about Trowa under tradition and what was expected of him. 'I'm always thinking about him. I don't even know if he's interested in me like that and if Father-'

"C-man? You ok?" Duo took in the pinking cheeks of his new friend, feeling the need to apologize for some reason. "Really man you do remind me of that ghost, ya know, Casper the friendly ghost. Look, I'm not saying you're as pale as a ghosty or anything. It's just that Casper is a nice nickname and the guy was a blonde... I think." Duo grimaced at the odd look on Caspian's face. He thought perhaps Casper wasn't a name Caspian liked and let loose a flurry of words to try and undo any damaged he'd done. It was a strange feeling; he considered the boy he had met only 10 minutes ago a friend already. He usually wouldn't trust anyone that easily.

"It's not that," came Caspian's quiet reply when violet met blue-green eyes again. Duo smiled despite his confusion about trusting the boy enough to call him a friend.

"...cute..." came a soft whisper, and Duo half agreed even though he rolled his eyes at Hilde. 'Hasn't she drooled enough over the guy already.' Duo snickered at Hilde's awed expression. His eyes widened a bit when the innocent looking blond had ducked his head, he felt guilty about bringing attention to Caspian's blush and thought that maybe the boy was a little shy. Or maybe it was his religion that made him unaccustom to the attention he was receiving. He really didn't know, he seemed to handle himself fine around Brianna. From what he heard, if he was this Winner-borne then he was Muslim, and it had been rumored that Winner senior was a fiercely private and religious man but that would've made one rebellious ... Well, he wasn't so much as Solo had been.

So let it be known that Duo A. Maxwell was a hellion, but obedient when it came to his mother. 'Right, that sounds so uncool,' Duo glanced at Tabitha, she was the first person he met who had a religion that wasn't Catholic or none at all. Well she didn't have one religion per se but accepted a variety of them in parts so he could ask her.

Scratch that, apologies built bridges... or something like that. "Hey C-man, uh Caspian didn't mean to offended you or anything." With a sheepish expression, Duo rubbed the back of his neck making his braid thump against his back.

Caspian's face caught fire, he tried again. "No, it's not that. I don't mind really, it's ... just..." He found himself floundering. He didn't want to tell them any more than they needed to know about his real reasons for being there or revealing his feelings for another boy. "...you see I thought that it would have died down by now. I'm not really used to... this much attention." He waved his hand in a sweeping motion toward the rest of the lunchroom, where hundreds of eyes alternated between glancing and staring at him.

Duo shivered in sympathy. "Ch... Man, yea I see what you mean."

"That even made me uncomfortable when I came here and it wasn't even as bad as this. It's like they are a hungry pack of wolves. When I was in middle school, if you were new no one really paid you that much attention or targeted you like this. I think Bray may have a thing for blondes." Solo shrugged at his own comment.

Hilde snorted, "More like a thing for Maxwells and newbies."

"It's mostly because those damn dorks don't have anything else better to do." Solo ignored her comment and looked around blankly.

Duo sent a concerned glance Solo's way, his brother was mechanically chewing and staring off. Duo had seen him do that every now and then but it still worried him. He decided he would talk to his brother when they got home and turned his attention back to Caspian. "I bet if you don't pay them any mind you'll feel better. They'll eventually stop gawking at you in another day or so."

Caspian nodded to Duo, lifting his head thinking he had fought off the worst of his blush.

"Well rumor has it that your from the Darlian Institute, but the main one that's got everyone so interested in you..."

"And has Bray's panties inching for ya, besides your rating on Hildabraugh's cute-o-meter," Duo gave Hilde his winning smile after his interruption and Hilde threw a carrot at him, which he ducked effortlessly. He made a mental to himself that 'cute' had to be the most infectious of the girl cootie words he had caught from Hilde. "Now now, Hil, there's no fighting in the lunchroom. There's, especially, no food thr- Ack!" Duo scowled at Hilde, he had not anticipated her sending another projectile his way.

She smirked at his yelp and snickered as the celery stick bounced off his head. Duo rubbed his abused forehead and stuck his tongue out at her. Satisfied with his pouty expression, she began again, "They are also interested in you because they think you are the elusive Winner heir from L4."

"Oh? I'm flattered... I guess, but I don't think I even look like him. I wonder where they got that idea?"

"Well you're obviously well to do, your fair hair . . . um . . . well not so much... really, the details on the Winner heir are sketchy. That's probably why Bray didn't come out and declare you Winner-borne. The guy's lucky to have family that cares enough to keep him out of the limelight so he can have some sense of privacy and normality."

Caspian hadn't considered that before.

He did have more freedom than Relena to move about as he wished and had argued with his Father about not allowing him to attend his more public political trysts. He understood the risks to his safety and he didn't like them treating him like a child, well at least he had thought that was one of the reasons behind their refusal to let him be seen more publicly. He hadn't thought that his Father and Rashid had other reasons. Iria had told him once that he shouldn't read too much into their actions and in response he just turned away from her and continued to be a brooding brat.

It was odd being in a discussion about you and hearing others talk as if he wasn't there, even though it wasn't intentional. He shrugged off the weird feeling, knowing the ruse was necessary for not only his safety but Abdul's as well. At first he wasn't sure that their cover as brothers would work, but people were willing to believe anything where money was concerned and they had forged documents if they got into tight spots with the authorities.

But still he couldn't help but reflect on Duo's unknowingly profound words. "I think he knows it now." He muttered lowly to himself, unaware of Duo's arched brow at his barely audible response. "Isn't there rules of conduct to stop sexual harassment before it goes to far?"

"Rules of conduct? Hell! Not here buddy. There are limits and if one doesn't have evidence or enough witnesses for the usual unwelcomed grope," Duo's expression darkened with this statement, "then they dismiss it or lecture us during home room over the intercom about inappropriate behavior and punishments dealt out for such actions." Duo shook his head before continuing, "If there is evidence, the person has to weigh the repercussions of telling or live in fear of being caught alone by whoever targeted them because once they catch them they fuck them over badly."

Caspian blinked, looking over the room casually before catching a familiar head of russet curls turning away when his head turned in her direction. "Duo you sound like you could be a lawyer."

Duo smiled and Caspian felt his heart beat a little faster. "Nah, it's from knowing and living most of this stuff. I guess it can be considered a technicality of being here and possibly politics." Duo shrugged, "Like any other school we have our 'in' and 'out' groups, but because of where we are teasing, fights and rivalry take on a whole 'nother level."

"I really can't wait to get out of here." Tabitha mumbled the movement of her oddly colored lips barely visible as she chewed on her straw. She glanced up to met wide aquamarine eyes surveying the tables in the lunchroom before settling back on them. He didn't look at all scared, 'good' she thought, it wasn't their intention to scare him just to warn him that even though it was the last week of school before summer break, he needed to be careful.

"In short, Casper," Tabitha smiled, she liked the nickname; it seemed less formal and more comfortable rolling off her tongue. "Always have someone, when possible, with you _you _trust. Brianna will be backing off I think. She knows about the rumor of your brother which further tells her you're not the Winner heir. But still have someone with you, you are still a target. I'm not saying that it has to be one of us. The choice is up to you but we do share a lot of classes."

"I'm fine with being with you guys." He smiled, not missing her little reminder to nudge him toward staying with them but leaving the choice up to him. Her guarded expression disappeared into the welcoming smile she'd given him when they had met at the principal's office, he had already decided that he'd stick with them. It just made things much easier for him to do his job and gave him good companions-friends that he would keep in touch with even if they were not selected.

"Ok, now that we're done with that, tell me this willya? You're only visiting right? I mean you'd have to have a screw lose to want to come here and stay. If it's not that then you'd have to have some serious dough, I mean shit, to get them to bypass your late arrival and let you stay in our class year. But then why leave Darlian for this souped up excuse of a school? Is Darlian worse than here? It doesn't have this obsessed, sex crazed type people in the majority, like this one has? What other programs do they offer that they don't tell you in the brochures? Do they offer special rates to students who have travel from the colonies? Is it really in the Sanc Kingdom? Cuz they give one loca-mm..." Duo blinked his wide violet eyes a few times before his teeth began gnashing the piece of bread that was put in his mouth.

Caspian who had been grinning the whole time Duo let out his tsunami of thoughts and questions, wondered if Duo was still talking and not actually chewing the bread. Duo's surprised expression gave away to a pout, if one could call it that around a mouthful of bread, and soon he sent a glare to his left. Tabitha sat quietly next to him with an innocent smile on her face.

"Gee Duo, give him a chance to answer. Sometimes I wonder if you breathe at all when you do that." Hilde's tone was stern but the tilted corners of her mouth and the sparkle in her eyes said otherwise.

Caspian clasped his hand over his mouth when he thought that his laughter would escape him. Duo's incredulous expression made him laugh more because his cheeks were puffed out still from the bread he was force fed.

"Fufufu..." He caught the sound of his muffled laughter and that the others' were doing varying degrees of same as Duo glared at them and crossed his arms across his chest.

Caspian felt a twang of familiarity, he was immune to glares by now and thought the muffled sound of his own laugh sounded very much like Wu Fei's. He heard this particular laugh while he was curled up on the sofa in their dorm lounge reading. That day Heero was walking/running in the opposite direction of a shrill from a certain Princess that sought him out more than they all wished she would. Apparently, he had tried to walk through Wu Fei but bolted before words could be exchanged when the pink harpy called his name again. That was when he heard Wu Fei's muffled laugh.

Caspian's mirth waned when he thought of how she'd pop up at the damnedest times, one of which was when he was trying and failing at asking Trowa to see a movie with him.

"Hmm... Obsessed, sex crazed? No. Stalkerish tendencies..." He chuckled, thinking again of a certain honey brown haired girl and her possessive nature around Heero. "Yes. I think that every school has some. Amongst my friends there is ..."

"It's a girl right?"

"Uh... Yes." Caspian gave Solo a quizzical look.

"I knew it."

Hilde frowned. "Solo, I already told you that-"

"Then why can't the same apply for some guys too. Why can't you just admit that not all guys are that way?" He said, gesturing to himself, his brother and with some thought to Caspian before staring back at a contemptuous looking Hilde with her nose in the air in an attempt to ignore him.

"I never said they _all_ were." She said nasally.

"You never said they _all_ weren't." Solo got up and put away his tray and then came back to sit beside Hilde and nibbled on an apple between rants. Caspian followed the flowing argument between the two as Solo pointed out more calm examples and Hilde gave him more gracious rebuffs. Duo got up and put away their trays, Caspian got up to help.

Caspian was ushered back to his seat as Duo took the last tray. Caspian sighed and returned to his seat to look at his schedule.

"Psst." He suddenly heard, looking about for the origin of the sound.

"Psst, they do that all the time. You should see them in debate club and at competitions." Tabitha said leaning across the table.

Caspian smiled. Duo returned, leaning against the table just to his left staring him straight in the eye. "So what brings you here, really?"

"Hmm... Oh my Father wanted me to spend the last week of school in school even though I've finished most of my exams." Caspian shrugged, surprised at how easily he spoke their cover story without so much as a second thought. "He said he needed to finish a merger with a company here. He didn't give me any details even though he dragged my brother and me up here to do it." Caspian returned the cool accessing gaze Duo gave him, his demeanor never faltering though his thoughts were a jumbled mess going over the practiced lines seconds before they filed out of his mouth.

Duo was suspicious, but the boy seemed to be telling the truth. He really couldn't keep his mind on the slip he had heard from Caspian because he was more concerned about his brother. He lifted his brow when he glanced at Solo, who'd seemed to have dropped that depressed look he had minutes ago to grill Hilde into submission.

Duo sighed, a bored expression settling on his face as he sat down again. He glanced over at the squabbling teens and pouted. Caspian, who had been sure that Duo would ask more questions, was relieved and smiled at the pouty boy across from him. Caspian got Tabitha and Duo's attention when he asked about the colony and what there was to do here.

Just before the bell rang, Solo smiled and hugged Hilde.

"Fine, fine. Don't get all mushy with me Solo. I'll admit that all guys aren't pompous asses, Ok?"

"'K!"

"Hey you two, get a room."

"Tabby, Solo's way too young for that!"

"Duo I'm not a baby."

"I didn't say you were. I'm just saying you're too young for it, maybe in like twenty years." The table was full of snickering.

"Ha and that would make you what, since you're a year older than me?" Solo arched a brow in question.

"Nope, that'll be two years. And that makes me older, therefore old enough."

"Feh! Whateva Bro." Solo snickered, feeling his uneasiness quickly disappearing through his relaxed banter with Duo. He smiled, tossing Duo his apple at the second bell.

- - xXxXxXx- - -

(Fire Alarm)

Students in room 308, clambered out into the hall, swatting at the smoke that followed. The loud alarm continued to blare, smothering the mixture of laughter, swears and mutters coming from the group. As soon it was turned off, everyone else went back to class except for the students from room 308 who remained in the hall laughing and sneaking over to pat the braided Maxwell on the shoulder.

"Maxwell!" Mr. Engles had on safety glasses with his hand waving back some of the smoke still filling the hall from the classroom.

"Yes?" came the double reply.

"No not _you_, _You_!" The older man said, glaring with a frown that made the lines around his eyes and forehead look like they were carved in with a knife. He really was an attractive man when he didn't frown. "What step did you skip before heating the chemical solution?" The older man implored in agitation, looking far older than his thirty-one years.

"Uh, none of them I think." Duo scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish. "You mix them, fire them up until they go boom, right?" Duo answered innocently as he stepped forward with Caspian, who had been his lab partner, snickered behind him.

Caspian smiled at Duo's back, finding it odd that Duo didn't show the genius that his grades reflected. He was loudly talkative, more often then not, said inane, coarse things or did stupid stunts that kept people second guessing and underestimating him. He was witness to his cockiness and smarts in class today when he pointed out to him what he himself had noticed about today's experiment with a Cheshire cat grin.

Mr. Engles glared at the braided teen before him. There were some dangers in having his kids make methane gas but considering the small amount they required and the non-glass flasks, vials and syringes they were using any mixing and heat would only result in seriously smelly smoke. He wasn't really angry just peeved that Duo had set off his little stank bomb just when he had set up the conditions to yell his favorite word and startle the new boy as well as half the class with a smoky chain reaction that Duo had inevitably set off heating his solution ahead of time.

"Hm, Maxwell, now that I think about it I ... read it backwards and forgot about the special tube stoppers..." Mr. Engles had slightly turned his head of peppered black dreads away from him, so the last part was lost in the murmur from the students.

"You're admitting you were, dare I say it... _wrong_." Tabitha stepped into their conversation with Hilde not to far behind and sent a wink Duo's way when he showed her a knowing smile.

He had reread the protocol for today's Chemistry basics session, which was for them to create the fuel to power the mock motors they'd constructed at the beginning of class. Then Mr. Engles was supposed to explain the value of different disciplines interacting and the significance on the grander scale. "Foiled your scheme huh, Mista E?" Duo winked at Mr. Engles, who had a noticeable red tinge to his olive colored cheeks.

Mr. Engles turned his head, muttering that the smoke was getting to him then spoke aloud, "Well... class we'll try this again Monday. Just keep the partners you had today and I've already noted and labeled who has what motor and where. So no heroics in braving the... smoke just to label your projects."

"But Mr. Engles, it's the last week!"

"Yea!" in its various forms came in unanimous support.

"At least let the remainder of class be a free period?" Mr. Engles had joined several students in opening up the hallway windows, while the student with crew cut black hair and oval eyes spoke.

Mr. Engles turned around and gave the boy the eye. The boy backed up into Duo and swallowed hugely.

"I think he's gonna getcha, Wade." Duo whispered with a snicker near the boys' ear.

Wade sent a quick glare at Duo but smiled when Hilde's hand patted his shoulder. Hilde whispered to Duo that she and Solo would meet them at the lockers as Wade turned to stand his ground with their teacher when he gapped at brilliant smile that suddenly stretched across the older man's face.

"That's a wonderful idea, Mr. Onsouth." His classmates came over and patted him on the back and some were wary of Mr. Engles eyeing the tall skinny teacher suspiciously as he smiled back. "Perhaps you could ask the summer school teachers if they'd be willing to do that for you. Although I don't think you need to go to summer school unless you want to flunk my class by not showing up next week." He smiled, the mirth in his eyes contrasted his serious tone that made several of the students swallow as he entwined his fingers in front of him. "Class dismissed."

He walked toward the teacher's lounge before speaking again, "Times of dismissal may be negotiable." He smiled again before disappearing into the room.

Duo, Tabitha and Caspian met up with the other two at their lockers a few minutes later. Duo had gotten all he needed from his locker and stuffed it in his satchel style book bag in a few seconds and then leaned against the locker with a smile across his face.

Caspian looked over to see Duo grinning like a mad man and he found himself smiling at the feeling of accomplishment, happiness and satisfaction that washed over him from Duo.

"Ok Duo what did you do?"

"Wha?" Duo said to Hilde feigning innocence.

"Don't give me that." Caspian let his eyes slide from one teen to the next and Tabitha sidled over to them with Solo not too far behind chewing on his pen. Duo presented his empty hand and then closed it, rolled his wrist so that his long sleeve moved away from it and then he opened it to reveal a crisp twenty dollar bill.

"Well, to make it up to poor C-man here for having all her hounds from hell on his tail all freakin' day. Breeat has unknowingly contributed to our trip to Travis' for ice cream."

"Duo..."

"Ah, heck Hilde don't. That girl isn't going to miss it and compared to what she's done in the past and present this is a far cry from my little slight-of-hand payback."

For Duo that was one of many things he'd learned growing up that he would take no offense in admitting, if asked, he had done. There was a tension between him and Hilde, it was always a sore point that she never really understood but never openly accused him of. She knew how hard he worked for the money he had and if he stole, it was never for himself. This was no surprise to Caspian. He had seen his file and the institute was very thorough. It listed that he had been brought in several times for theft. Caspian had to step in before one of the stiff necks on the new enrollment committee could vote him out. He had advised him to look at the boy's current record and grades. He was glad that the student council could participate in the selection of new students into the school. At times he couldn't help but wonder how much of his influence was really due to his class standing and position as vice-president or to the fact that he was a Winner.

"What's done is done. You can lecture me all you want about thievery and morals later. Hil, can we go and enjoy our selves with benefactor's selfless hospitality?" He implored with a guilty pout that betrayed his jovial sounding voice.

"Duo I wasn't saying ... I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty."

"Good. 'Cuz I don't."

"I think it's fair... well just this once." Caspian smiled when he got the answering one he wanted from Duo. It just didn't seem right for Duo to be down.

Duo patted Caspian on the shoulder for trying to see the good in him being a pickpocket. "Nah, that's alright C-man. Let's just focus on ice cream and maybe one of Mama's Sloppy Joes. Mmm I can so taste it now."

Caspian blinked, arching a brow at the smothered growl, more like roar, that disrupted their talk of the kinds of food Caspian may like to try at the diner.

"Ah, guys you're killing me here. No more talk of food." Duo groaned, cradling his stomach as they made their way passed the gates to the open street.

Solo snickered and poked his brother in the stomach. "That Maw of yours is never satisfied, even after all the sacrifices we feed it." He snickered again, "It's your own fault though, you started it off by mentioning Mama's Sloppy Joes. I bet it's just as bad for you, huh, Hil?"

"Hmm?" She asked turning away from the poem Tabitha was writing in her notebook.

"All this talk of food. It's still amazing that you can put more food away than Duo!" Solo quickly ducked a smack to his head, laughing then running to hold onto his brother's arm and stick his tongue out at a blushing Hilde a few paces back who glared daggers at him.

"Solo! That's not true! I get extra in case Duo wants some." She said sticking out her bottom lip and crossing her arms across her chest.

Duo snickered at Caspian's questioning look. "We're here! You'll see what their talking about when we start to order. But I gotta eat to catch up to Solo."

"You're the oldest?" He said in surprise to the boy who was an inch or two taller than him and then looked to Solo who was over a head taller than them; he wondered if Trowa would be happy to have someone around who was his height for a change. He smiled to himself and he noticed that the school seemed to be an in-between place just like the Park across the street. Abdul had driven him downhill to get to there, passing suburban homes, businesses, a few ritzy hotels and a shopping center before getting to the school. From the Park, he could see the docks and large industrial buildings that he figured to be factories. Duo and his friends were taking him further downhill, passed the school and through a small market place where people were bartering with street side venders; the homeless were doing odd jobs for food, tucked in a side corner of a shop or watching from the alley ways; and a few prostitutes eyed him when they passed a clothing vender. He could see apartments not too far away but divided from the market area by bars, two clubs, a church and some boarded up buildings. He'd never seen a colony like this. Duo pulled him back when a prostitute, a male one, kicked a client onto the sidewalk out of an alley they had come to. The emaciated youth fixed his shorts, took the wallet off his John and walked on without sparing them a single glance.

Caspian didn't move again until Duo nudged him and had to keep nudging forward the next couple of blocks and through the diner door because he kept staring at the guy who was slowly levering himself up off the sidewalk. He looked at Duo with questioning eyes and Duo shrugged. "That's not so bad, neither of them look worse for it. That guy's probably drunk, got his Johnny off and now out of a few more credits than he started with but nothing more than that. You get used to it around here."

"You get used to a lot of things." Caspian whispered to himself as he nodded absently to Duo, deep in thought.

"Oh and Yea to your spoken question." Duo's smile and chuckle in answer to his earlier question brought him round and he realized he was already inside the diner. Caspian took in the clean, fresh bake pie smelling diner like a breath of fresh air. Its atmosphere made him relax as he exhaled the heaviness pressuring his heart; he knew that it was all still out there. He would have never have guessed that the upper district's glamour hid the squalor they subjected their poor to, but he didn't overly sense hate or bitterness here. They made do with what they had and with some there was a strong sense of family.

"People seemed to think I'm the little brother, heh, it's not that bad really. Hey Solo, whenever you wanna be the older brother let me know." Duo called out to his brother who had gone over to pick on Hilde some more. He got a wink in reply as they made their way to a table, pulling up an extra chair. When it was time to go, Duo had distracted Caspian with his antics that the contemplative look on his face eventually went away. Duo and Solo introduced their mother to Caspian who smiled and ruffled his hair. Caspian pouted with a slight smirk feeling oddly at ease by Jadea's open friendliness. He couldn't stop himself from smiling when she brought them their orders or when she walked by and patted Duo on the head when he cursed loudly from biting his tongue. She had cleared the table and fussed with Duo about not needing to pay when he absently spoke his mind and told her she was beautiful, which caused her to pause and Duo's smile to grow as he gave her the money while she blushed. This prompted her sons and Tabitha to snicker and Hilde glanced at Ms. Maxwell in envy. Duo smiled mischievously and teased Caspian on why he was wooing their mother and Solo offered to give her away at their wedding.

"Ok, the both of you get! Thanks honey, no one's told me that ... in a long while." She smiled, kissing her sons on the cheeks and reaching out to shake Caspian's hand when he startled her by the kissing the back of hers with a small bow.

She smiled warmly at him and shooed them away again. The only evidence of her age was the corners of her eyes crinkling whenever she smiled. As she saw them off, she couldn't help but think back to Aiden. Her eyes lingered on Duo who was being turned this way and that by Caspian, who was looking pointedly at the slight bulge of Duo's stomach. She laughed to herself and saw her son laughing at Caspian's look of disbelief that the only evidence to all the food Duo had put away was that small protuberance. Her smile half faltered, she knew who the boy was, the letter told her as much. She pushed back the fear of her babies leaving for Sanc, unknowingly wringing a table cloth in her hands. She had gotten the acceptance letters yesterday but didn't have a chance to look over it until her lunch break. She smiled and hoped that probationary condition on Solo because his age would be lifted by the time they got through the first semester. She wiped the table and decided she'd let the boy tell them.

She ran her hand along the table they had sat at, thinking about it all. "Two more weeks and my babies get to see home." With a sad smile and sigh, Jadea went back to work.

Tbc...

Read, review, comment ... Heck your opinions are craved for... (smiles).


	9. so far away

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing or the characters therein are not mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, warm fuzzy sadness, MM interaction, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: eventual 1x2, mentioned or eventual 3x4, 5xS, 6x9. . .

AN: thanks everyone for your support and I've finally caught up to myself, though having a beta would wonderful right about now. smiles

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

feedback is welcomed

Denial

by priscel

nine- so far away

last week, May 195

In a week's time Caspian felt an indispensable attachment, friendship, towards the four teens as well as a heavy guilt. He needed to tell them the very news that they had to be worrying over. They didn't bog him down with questions or expected him to supply them with anymore info than how he felt about the place, even though they knew he was attending the very school they wanted to get into. Which made him feel worse for not telling them sooner so that they didn't have to worry about being accepted because they had been and he was their ride, more or less, to get there in time for orientation.

He sighed, blonde tendrils falling around his face as he collapsed back onto the plush couch of their three roomed-apartment styled hotel suite. Despite the circumstances his new friends were living through, they always made him feel welcomed. They always said 'hey' instead of 'hi' or 'hello' which seemed too formal and less open. When they did come over, they never asked why they haven't met his father or even seen him. They had fun just 'being' together- it didn't matter if they were all crammed in Duo and Solo's small living room or playing games in Hilde's posh one. It was refreshing and he wondered how they would be around his friends in Sanc. He smiled to himself, resting his head against the back of the couch, with the mischievous light that was ever present in Duo's eyes he knew it was going to be interesting living together.

Caspian felt himself slipping into sleep, ignoring the sudden flare of ..glee, anticipation? He wasn't sure if he could put it into words what he had felt as he dozed but his sleepy mind considered it his own. So he wasn't expecting the ice that slid down the front of his shirt.

"Hah!" He gasped, jerking back then up when some of the ice went down his back, forcing the hand that held his collar aloft to let go as he stumbled over the coffee table.

"Duo!" Caspian called out between chattering teeth, his faced flushing as his hand fished out the ice from under his clothes.

Duo was bent over the couch laughing and then choked when the ice in his mouth went down his throat. Caspian glared and snatched up the glass out of Duo's hand, watching the teary eyed, braided youth getting his coughs under control with a bright smile on his face. "A wake up call?" Duo offered with a gritty voice as the ice that tried to lodge itself in his throat melted away.

Caspian glared with a slight quirk of his lips.

Duo shrugged, pushing himself up to lean forward. "Sorry Kat, I couldn't help myself. Man, you should have seen your face!" Duo chuckled again when he saw the slight blush the new nickname garnered from his buddy.

Caspian rolled his eyes but couldn't hold his glare, a small involuntary chuckle worked its way up his throat softening his face. He didn't want to lie to Duo anymore about who he was and why he was there. He took a breath and decided that now was as good a time as ever and hoped that things would be easier since they were alone.

Duo flipped onto the couch in a sprawl of his long limbs as he bounced a couple of times before he slowly stood, taking notice of how nervous Caspian seemed all of a sudden. He looked around and quirked a brow in thought, Abdul had dropped him off saying he'd pick up the others soon and then left to go take care of something. Duo shrugged, Abdul hadn't said what and now Caspian was acting strange, but this was Caspian. His body tensed half-heartedly, he trusted Caspian but this was a little too weird. "Kat, what's the matter?"

Caspian swallowed, the new nickname making him twitch, it was so close to his real name it was a bit unnerving to him. His eyes fluttered shut as he exhaled, realizing that it was going to be difficult to giving up the pretense of just being another average, although wealthy, Joe. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had been entertaining the thought that he'd lose Duo and the others as friends. Lose his cover and be hounded not by only Brianna but the media and others who have been trying to get at his Father. Then he felt foolish because he knew he had given them an opportunity to make good on their barely veiled threats to his Father by making himself vulnerable. He steeled his heart, telling himself that he could bear it if that happened, then leave before anyone was the wiser. But the impression he got from Duo, a feeling similar to what he felt with Trowa but different, told him that that wouldn't be the case and that they wouldn't be bitter over a lie that was constructed for his and Abdul's safety.

Duo watched as Caspian fidgeted before a calm settled over his features and a pleasant smile adorned his face. 'A game face,' Duo thought, 'one like.. hmm a negotiator?' Duo was about to ask him another question when Caspian started talking, non-stop. Duo blinked at him as the small blond kept his words exact and tried to keep the calm expression on his face.

After several minutes of listening to Caspian explain everything and then near the end start apologizing profusely for his deceit, Duo interrupted him with a hug. 'Oh, man,' he thought absently, he remembered how Casp- correction Quatre had come with him and Solo to the Church and helped, got down and dirty with them when they went out into the back allies or whatever hidden niche that they could find to bring food items to the homeless. Duo couldn't help but notice then how Quatre just took it all in on himself. He remembered when Solo had snapped at Quatre telling that no matter how much time he put in here, there were still going to be places just as poverty filled or worse elsewhere. Duo remembered the crumpled look mingled with the determination in Caspian's eyes and that made him squeeze Quatre a little more.

'Damn he has such a big heart. Kat loves to blame himself for everything. I gotta get him out of that, he'll worry himself sick trying to undo all the damage that others have done.' He shook his head and pressed his cheek against the side of Quatre's. He guessed that was part of the reason he felt so protective of his friend.

Duo breathed out, the surprise Quatre gave him pushed away his worry and brought a bright smile to his face although no one could see it at the moment. "We were accepted," he murmured repeating the words Quatre had just said to him. Quatre had known all along, but his lie was within reason and he wasn't going to alarm his friend by being upset about it. He squeezed Quatre again as he bounced a little in glee.

Quatre tentatively responded with his arms circling loosely around Duo, unsure of what was plain in his face. Duo wasn't mad. Duo was happy and he was sure that his head should've been just at Duo's nose. It was an odd thing to notice when he had been stressing out earlier, but he was sure that Duo was a couple inches taller than him. He looked down to see Duo's socked feet, his right pinky toe peaking out through a hole. Caspian smiled, the boots had tricked him, they were the same height. He squeezed Duo back, making it more enthused, when he felt happiness radiating off of Duo.

Duo's mind was abuzz, 'We were accepted. We were all accepted.'

The opening of the door and the voices that followed told them that Abdul had brought in the others. Duo had turned, bringing himself and Quatre to face the others with one arm still looped over Quatre's shoulder as he fixed them all with a bouncing, happy grin. To Quatre's relief, they completely dismissed his cover story as necessary and understandable. The group had been mainly doubtful of the news from Darlian, asking Quatre if he was sure that there wasn't an error somewhere, that he wasn't playing some cruel joke, that it wasn't some fluke that they all made it. Each time he reassured them with a gentle smile that shared their excitement before he told them, there had been no mistake.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

At the space docks, laborers worked diligently and cheered on a braided coworker singing lead as they hum to an old earth tune.

"_That's the sound of a man working on a chain... ga-a-ang..._" The graceful tenor ad libbed before trailing off into a hum of the beat as the sounds of equipment and his coworkers resounded in the space dock.

"_All day long they're singin'..._"

"_Hoo! Ah!_" He could hear grunts, the whir of a forklift lifting and shoving a crate in place, thump-"_Hoo!_" -swirl-"_Ah!_" -thump- "_Hoo!_", the sound of chains running through a pulley, surprisingly, keeping with the beat of the song that he and the others sang. Suddenly, a loud metal clank followed by a curse erupted from behind one of the unused forklifts. The music was turned down, and several questions or grunts of disapproval echoed in through the dock.

"Ol' Bertha giving ya problems there, Maxwell?" The speaker gasped when he saw the teeth of the forklift drop, his thoughts were immediately filled with how much trouble it would be to replace it, pay to repair any damaged caused to the dock floor and how much more manual labor that meant for them, when suddenly the engine hummed to life and saved the invaluable teeth of the machine. Before the man could approach the open panel, the forklift revved, gravity shifted and a piece of metal came flying out from the place a wiry figure was leaning into. The wiry figure in a grey coverall let a string of expletives fly and this time the laughter teased him. His watcher walked away in search of the metal projectile.

"Aye Maxwell, whydya stop singing? Some_one_ had said we needed music to work to, 'liven up you stiffs' he said and now I've gotten used to it." The amused shout came from some far off corner of the dock, he couldn't figure out which, too immersed in Bertha's bowels to try and seek them out.

Duo emerged from the back of the huge forklift rubbing his nose with the back of his hand, leaving a black oily streak across it and half his cheek. He then picked up a greasy towel and tried to get some of the oil off his hands, itching to take his braid out and off his sweaty back.

"Damn grav controls shifted again. Hey Big B, they should let us fix the thing before it kills somebody. The shift damn-near took my head off with the wrench I was using! Ch! I like my head where it is, thank you very much." Duo grumbled with a pout as he shucked his hands down into the deep side pockets of his coveralls.

"Yea, kid be careful. We don't want Howard or Ms. Maxwell to kill us for letting you off yourself with a monkey wrench when you leave for school tomorrow, little mono" (1). Laughter filled the port at nickname and the low music that had been playing, was turned up.

"Benny! I resent that!" Duo said smiling as he rocked back and forth on his heels when a short balding man came over and slapped a wad of bills in his hand.

"Don't say I neva gave ya notin' half-pint." Duo overcame his shock quickly, his hand already in motion to return the money given to him, but the stern look in his coworkers' aged face stopped him. He wasn't used to gifts and most of the time, things that were given weren't given without strings attached. He found himself in a staring contest with white ringed brown eyes, he nodded, pocketing the bills. The man was sincere and Duo gave him a smile in thanks and the old man snorted as he hobbled away from the still stunned, but happy teen.

"Yea, we'll missya little mono." This was the loudest of the echoed farewells, while a few came over and ruffled his hair. Others waved and returned to work.

A burly guy came over and hoisted him into the air, giving him a bear hug that none of his glomps could hope to compete with. 'Maybe when I'm older and about six feet tall.' He chuckled quietly to himself, returning the hug as much as he could, smiling and fighting back the heat in his eyes.

"Little mono, I hate to get all sentimental and crap, but exceptions have to be made." Ben Morales, Big B to all his friends and coworkers or Benny to Duo, squeezed Duo for emphasis before he let him go.

"This place ain't going to be as lively as before that's for damn sure." Came the grumble from a man siting on top of some crates.

"Nah, yall will get along fine without me." Duo said with a bright smile ducking when Ben tried to ruffle his hair.

Ben snorted. "If you say so. I knew you were meant for bigger and better things, scrappy kids like you are have always been underestimated."

"...Better things?" He chuckled. "I dunno Big B, maybe I'll end up a priest like Uncle or just a simple mechanic." Ben chuckled knowingly, receiving a questioning look and a half scowl in response.

"Either way you'll be better off, my boy. We've lost so many to drugs, prostitution, poverty...," he shook his head and handed Duo the oily wrench that got away from earlier. The air was heavy and Duo wished he could think of something to lighten the mood. Duo, absently, wiped the oily wrench off on the his pant leg before putting it away in his tool box along with the grease rag he had been using before. It was time for him to go and the burly man's amused expression was replaced with a haunted look, the lines in his aged face told years of worry and so did the stark white that greyed his fading brown hair.

"Kid... You really shouldn't be walking home from here. Especially, this late at night. I wouldn't thin-"

"No. I'm fine, it's only 15 minutes and most of the time I just take the bus."

"Still Kid, this being your last night with us.. Shit... I ain't superstitious or nothing, it's just that I don't want you to be caught unawares if something bad happens because everything's going so well for ya. Hell, it wasn't safe for ya to be out there by yourself when you first started and it sure as hell ain't safe now." Big Ben finished off in a gush of words, his expression contorted in something akin to anger but it wasn't directed at Duo.

"S'ok Benny, I got Scythe here." Duo pulled out a black steel metal rod, it was small and the length of his forearm. "He's helped me out of more tough spots than a cat has lives. Besides, I'm not a kid anymore. I can tak-"

"I'm just saying is all, little mono." Cutting Duo off with a squeeze to his shoulder. Ben had spotted the retractable staff that the boy considered priceless when Duo had left it, as he did with a lot of his personal affects, in his office. He'd eyed the thing, his curiosity peaking as he remembered how Duo practiced with it in the bay when he thought no one else was around. It was a good piece of work. He had also discovered that the staff it self wasn't the only thing retractable, a sickle shaped blade curved out when he touched the edge. He remembered looking for the switch and wondering why Duo would have such a dangerous component in it. But as far as he could tell there was no trigger. He decided to ask Duo when saw him gulping a soda on his way to his office. He turned back to pick up the aptly named 'Scythe' and saw the blade was gone.

Big Ben shook his head, bringing himself out of the odd memory and back to forestalling Duo's youthful rant of independence that he remembered well enough from his own early years. Although his was of different wording from his own when he was his age, it was the same. "I can't say what I'll do to the fucker who tries to mess with you or yar brother." Big Ben held up his hand stopping Duo from commenting once again. Duo closed his mouth on what he was about to say. He looked kind of funny, his lips moving, forming parts of words that could be read without making a sound.

Big Ben chuckled, grabbing Duo in a mock choke hold and ruffling his bangs.

"Ah!" Duo complained and chuckles followed as he tried to get of Ben's hold.

Ben laughed. "Yea kid. I know you can take care of ya self, but it shouldn't always have to be that way for you." His voice took on a solemn tone as he continued, "You're like a son to me. I bet Howard thinks the same thing. It's real good of ya to be willing to work this kind of job to help your Ma. Shit, when I was fifteen I was learning different ways of getting girls out of their clothes." Ben smiled. "I can teachya, but ya have to promise not get thrown in the can by the girls' parents."

They both laughed and Duo took a few steps back so he'd be ready to dodge if Ben want to mess his hair again. "Nah, I've got the Maxwell charm." Duo made a show of grinning widely, and grabbing onto the lapels of his coveralls so that his thumbs came up on either side of the collar as he flicked them up.

"Not as skinny as you are! As much as you work here and all the food we watch you shovel down on break... I can't figure out where the hell it goes."

Grumble. Duo blushed, he fought the urge to duck his head.

"Ah haha. Damn, the monster growling already? Missed dinner Kid?"

Duo peeked over at Ben, rocking back and forth from heel to toe with measured ease. He didn't want to lie to Ben and he didn't want him to think that he was responsible for it. He had been working so much at the yard and Ben's dock for the past week, he would only have one meal during the day. 'It couldn't be helped,' he said to himself. He wanted to be sure that Solo and he had enough for the trip. He also didn't want his mother to kill herself to try and get more money. Ben had agreed to let him work more as long as he didn't overdo it and got some sleep. Well he did the sleep part. "Uh something like that."

Ben's laughing tone mellowed into a more somber one. "Grab a bite to eat before ya go. Sure you can't stay late? I can give ya a ride home yanno."

"Nah, gotta get home to finishing packing and make sure Solo hasn't tried to pack the apartment and Mama."

Ben clapped Duo on the shoulder as he smiled at the petite boy, his thoughts summing up to two words to describe him, "Good kid."

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

Duo weaved through the bowels of the in-station, the docks, toward the more populated area of the business district he got a few claps on his back to wish him well before he got to the bus stop where he waited. Despite the strong feeling of possible misfortune that haunted Ben about Duo's trip home after work, his eventual walk home was uneventful and filled with muttered curses about lazy ass bus drivers and their lack of concern for others.

"Benny had even made me leave early to make sure I caught the bus. And did a bus come? No." He continued to grumble to himself as he walked passed alleyways and kept to barely lit spaces, gray areas between the darkness of the shadows and the bright street lamps. He felt safer being closer to the darkness than being an alighted target on the sidewalk.

He thought about the last two weeks. Two weeks and a trip he wasn't sure that they'd be planning together. "A few more hours before Kat comes." He smiled sadly to himself, this was home, the only one he'd ever known and for some reason he felt the need to stay. He ran his hand through his long bangs, allowing the low light to play and mix with the shadows of his eyes before his fringe blocked out the light again. He really wanted to leave this place more than anything and take his family with him and knew that was his only reason for wanting to stay there. At times like this when emotions were a muddled mess or he was over eager or lost his patience, Father Maxwell's words always settled him down: "Life is not without it's trials and tribulations son. At your age I was often impatient, as all children seem to be." He said, his bemused voice filled with fondness. "In order for us to keep on living, to bare and overcome these tests that are set upon us, with God's will, we must endure and to endure we must be patient." Duo remembered looking at his Uncle with the 'I only got half that look' before his Uncle ruffled his hair and chuckled as he continued, "And you are still young so you're not expected to know or understand everything we adults tell you. I know it's hard but enjoy your youth and remember that all things come in time, my son, all things come in time."

He huffed and then smiled to himself. He was happy, overjoyed even, when he found out that they had _all_ been accepted. "Casp... Ch... Kat sure did a number on us." He shook his head, he knew something was up when he heard Quatre's muttered comment when they had first met him. He had several opportunities to confront the bright-eyed blond about what he said and then decided against it. He could wait until Quatre broached the subject on his own. He wasn't disappointed, the seemingly innocent but guilty looking blonde told him everything a week ago.

Duo paid little attention to where his feet took him, but he was relieved to see a familiar apartment building come into view. Before he realized it he was up the stairs and at his door with his keys out. With a quiet clink then a click, he stepped inside to hear his mother scold Solo for packing several of her things too. He smiled. He hadn't been wrong earlier when he thought Solo would try to get their mother to come with them. Duo let out a heavy sigh and let his jester's smile come into place to hide his uneasiness about leaving their mother behind, with one brow arched, he ambled into their mother's room and then suddenly tackled Solo to the bed.

A surprised 'hey' is all Solo could get out before he recognized his brother's braided head ducking beneath his chin. Jadea chuckled as she watched her boys wrestle on her bed. Soon her sad smile became an annoyed one when her nose wrinkled at the black slicks that were steadily appearing and slowly destroying her floral coverlet. She picked up her pillow and beat them both into submission with it.

"Ok boys," She settled her hands on her hips with the pillow tucked under one arm, "Quatre'll be here in close to an hour. _You_," She fixed her firm gaze on Duo as he absently scratched at an oily patch behind his ear. "Go shower."

Duo rubbed the slick substance between his fingers, he looked up sheepishly at his mother and muttered a 'sorry Ma' before trudging off to the bathroom. Solo snickered, but gulped down his laughter when fresh linens and another coverlet was shoved into his face. He bowed his head in resignation and acceptance.

"Oh, you'll be showering too, ya got me?"

"Yes Mama." Jadea chuckled and hugged her son.

"You should have woken me earlier, I would have helped you two finish packing."

"Nah, Mama. Duo has all his stuff packed already, there was just mine left." He picked at his threadbare jeans, looking smaller than he was. Jadea jostled his hair and kissed his forehead. 'Solo's going be taller than Aiden.' She thought absently, realizing he was already a few inches taller than her as she tilted her head to look up at him when he stood up.

No more was said for a while as they set about replacing the ruined bedclothes. Solo kept glancing into the hallway where two knew suitcases sat. Everything Duo and Solo thought they need fit into two 24 inch, expandable, rolling luggage bags. When Duo came back, he pushed Solo toward the door, "Your turn."

Jadea came over with a brush and comb ready. Duo smiled, plopping down on her bed and pulling his hair out of the towel. It was strange how their hair always felt wet after a sonic shower, he liked it, but it was odd. He thought of checking on its settings as his mother sectioned his hair and began at the bottom. He would miss having her do this for him. He would miss her period.

The steady rhythm of the comb and then the relaxing feel of the brush had Duo in a snooze before long. Jadea smiled down at the finished braid. She was glad they had decided that long goodbyes were painful and that they'd say them here at home. She sat down beside Duo and brought his head over to rest on her shoulder, tucking his head beneath her chin. Leaving so late at night meant they'd be in Sanc by morning, she preferred that herself, she thought it helped a little with the jetlag she was sure her boys would experience by the time shift. She closed her eyes as more of their earlier conversations filtered through her mind with her own preferences offering reassure and soothing away her fears.

"Damn Duo, what's in that oily sh-" Solo sealed his lips when he found his brother asleep in their mother's arms and smiled as listened to her hum. He brought the towel down off his head and settled it around his shoulders as he walked over to them. He sat on their mother's unoccupied left side and leaned against her shoulder to shoulder.

Jadea looked at him with tear rimmed eyes and frowned. Her hand shot out, pulled him down to rest his head against her shoulder and nuzzled his damp hair. She didn't care if her face was a little wet afterwards, they were going. The boys had already said farewells to their Uncle and the Sister, but she had a hard time convincing herself that they wouldn't prolong their leaving since they were going to come back... in a few years.

All too soon it was time to go. Jadea had ushered them to the van and hugged Hilde, Tabitha and Quatre, who blushed at the attention. He hadn't expected Ms. Maxwell to hug him and he felt the sadness she was covering up with a beautiful smile and saw where Duo and Solo got theirs from.

Duo let go of his mother's hand to climb into the van when Sister Helen came running toward them with Father Maxwell not too far behind. They had hoped they could avoid any long goodbyes. It was late at night too and Duo worried about the two walking alone at night. Helen kissed the side of his head as she brought her hands up around his neck and then pressed her hand against his chest when she stepped away. He looked down to see a golden cross resting where her hand had been.

'Well damn,' he thought seeing the twin expression of shock on Solo's face as he fingered his cross. They both turned to protest but they were stopped by a stern look from Father Maxwell and then his half smile with a nod that said 'Be good.' Helen kissed Solo on the cheek, tiptoeing to meet him as he leaned down to meet her before he went into the van. He relaxed once in side, no longer having to be under the intense scrutiny of their friends, even if Quatre seemed to be talking to Abdul, Tabitha seemed to be writing more poetry- the colorful ends of her fingers flowing over her small checkered book and Hilde gave him a sad look before sniffling and turning to watch Duo. Solo grimaced at her back before turning away and toying with the end of his faded blue polo shirt.

Duo stood alone, looking at the family they were leaving behind before turning toward the van when Jadea pulled him aside and put two small envelopes in his hand, one with his name on it and the other bearing Solo's. She smiled, she had intended to give it to them before Sister Helen hand stepped in between them.

"My gift to help my babies along. I know you're going to need clothes," They both thought back to their well worn clothes and Duo hesitated in giving it back but his mother wouldn't have it, she shoved it back in his hand. "No, I'm fine. This belongs to you and Solo. Don't forget to get the school uniform while you're shopping, that way you won't have to worry or get caught up in the hustle and bustle of getting new things when it's almost time for classes to start. And make sure it's a size larger than you normally wear."

She kissed him on the cheek. "And you better call me if either of you get sick. Neither of you have been to Earth before and I'm sure the air isn't as treated as it is here." She gave him a nonsense expression before kissing him again and pushing him toward the van. Father Maxwell came to her side, putting an arm across her shoulder in a comforting gesture as they waved goodbye and the van pulled off, leaving them with the memory of sorrowful blue violet and green eyes.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

Abdul returned the retail car. He met up with the group in bowels of the station's docks and ran to beat them to their ship. He keyed the code to open the door with a smirk on his face at the braided youth who was the first to meet him at the door.

"Master Duo." He greeted cheekily, the five foot nine man with rich brown skin bowed with one hand extended, ushering the braided teen into the cabin of the old cruiser styled shuttle. They laughed when Duo groaned.

"Shesh man!" Duo covered his face with one hand and shook his head as he entered the cabin. "Abdul, come on man you don't have use titles with me just Duo please. Like you do Hilde, Solo and Tabby, kay? And good grief, stand up!" Duo grumbled, walking over to the port windows unintentionally revealing his flushed cheeks to his friends which triggered more of their laughter.

"I think he does it just to make you to blush." Solo nudged him in the side as he stepped passed him to pick a seat and stow his carry on.

When Abdul had shared his surname 'Parish' with Quatre and was expected to treat him like an older brother should, he found it difficult and even harder to refrain from addressing the young Winner without saying 'Master' first. Duo had caught him saying 'Master' when Quatre was still going by Caspian and had invited them over to their suite. They both had held their breathes, but with Quatre's help they made it seemed that Abdul had been addressing Duo. Abdul smiled at the memory, he had called Duo 'Master of my heart,' elaborating with a poem that made the boy sputter and turn as red as a beat. Everyone had laughed so hard that tears were starting in the corners of their eyes. Duo crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. Ever since then, if he called him 'Master', even though Duo knew the truth now, he blushed.

"And you're very _cute_ when you blush." Hilde cooed and fluttered her lashes.

"Shuddup Hilde." Duo stomped over to Solo, he hated that word. "If I could find the guy who came with that damnable word, I'd show them a thing or two about what they could do with the word 'cute'." He grumbled, his flushed cheeks remained, as he thought of how he had fallen asleep on the drive over and awoken to a giggling Hilde and a blushing Quatre who he had slept on and had almost kissed when turned his head to see who had been his pillow. Duo had blushed to his roots then and Hilde, as well as Tabitha, had said the word cute in reference to himself and Quatre (as well as few other x rated scenarios in their whispers) more times then he cared to count in the short walk over to the outdated looking shuttle.

He scowled at his snickering brother behind him as he made himself comfortable in his seat. That incident in the van had made things a little easer for Solo and him. Even though their mother had told them that she was only a phone call away, it didn't erase the fact that the distance was incalculable to them if they wanted to go visit her or go to the diner and eat some of Travis' apple pie. It hurt like hell, but this was one step forward in a series of steps to making better lives for themselves.

"Well the school has already assigned you rooms and roommates. My friends will be meeting us on campus and Wufei told me he would get your room assignments from Mrs. Une."

"Man, I can't believe it...we are going to school in... the summer." Duo said dramatically, trying to work up a conversation and keep the attention off of himself as he snagged a candy bar from Tabitha's bag and deftly pocketed it before exploring the rest of the cruiser.

Quatre chuckled at Duo's dramatics. "Well they are mostly orientation classes for newbies. Most of the students on campus have gone home for break. My friends have volunteered to help me with this, so they'll be meeting us at the dorm."

Duo snickered and Hilde gave Quatre a questioning look. "The way you said that Quatre, makes me think that they didn't volunt_eer_, as you put it, willing."

Quatre smiled. "I guess you could say that, they tell me I have a way with words."

"Or threats." Duo whispered with a snicker and Quatre flushed, sending a quick glare his way. "What?" Duo asked feigning innocence and holding back a yawn.

Quatre pouted slightly, wondering if Duo could read minds before he continued. "Trowa did volunteer to help out if the circus didn't take up too much of his time."

"You have a friend in the circus?" Solo broke in, his voice and eyes alit with excitement that spread to the others in varying ways.

"Yes, they are getting ready to leave and will be in Sanc in late September. Catherine, Trowa's sister, is visiting but I'm not sure if it'll be the full Circus in September if the weather doesn't hold." Quatre stopped noticing the down look everyone had. "Maybe they haven't taken everything down yet. Maybe we can go look around?" He offered and everyone's face lit up again, he could have laughed but decided against it not wanting any them to feel alienated.

"That would be great." Solo said enthusiastically, hoping to catch some trapeze work.

"Oh and the others, well during the summer, Heero often stays at the dorms even though he lives with Relena in the Sanc palace which is an hours' drive from there. I don't know what his plans are but he's been keeping pretty busy and has been very helpful to me. The resident life coordinator, RLC, on duty this summer is a medical student, Sally Po. She was able to uh... coax Wufei into helping out since he was already staying to continue teaching at one of his relatives' dojos in town. Me? Well," Quatre smiled, "I'm coordinating new student arrivals and pick ups. You guys were my last run."

"Aww, they got you serving as delivery boy? I dunno if I like these people." Duo yawned again with a stretch causing his speech to slur. "They send out innocent looking blondes to lure in captives to do devious experiments on. If your not careful Tabby, they may turn you into a cat with wings or you, Solo, to a dancing carrot!" Duo exclaimed sleepily.

Duo received a few quizzical looks and Solo chuckled. "When he's tired he doesn't make a lot of sense sometimes."

"When does he make sense when he's awake?" Hilde teased with a smirk.

"Oi, yes I do." Duo grumbled with a pout.

"No you don't." Solo countered pulling out a blanket from the overhead compartment.

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Yes I do!" Duo maintaining his pout as he, adorably, rubbed at his eyes with the back of one hand.

"Then what was the last thing you said?" Solo asked, looking smug.

"Uh..." Solo snickered at his brother's lack of response and propped his feet up against the wall.

Tabitha snorted. "I hate cats."

"'Ey, mind your manners young lady! Cats are would like beasties and don't look at me like- ow! Ok, ok, I give." Duo, a little more awake now, glared at Tabitha's back as she retreated with a satisfied smirk across her face. Duo rubbed his offended rump before pulling out a banana that Quatre had stashed in the cupboards. That was another thing he appreciated Quatre for, fresh fruit, he ate it as he stowed his bookbag away with one his favorite mangas in hand. He then went back to the door, looking at the outer hull skeptically, pressing on it as if judging its integrity.

"Q-bean, where'd you get this clunker? I mean we appreciate the lift, our bank accounts praise you for your graciousness but can this bucket of bolts get us there in one piece?"

Quatre stowed his own bag and sat in front of the two seats Hilde was occupying, right across from Solo and Duo. He smiled, turning to Duo with a sympathetic look. "It's not as bad as it looks Duo. We were fortunate to have an older class shuttle that didn't have the Winner insignia and it allowed us to get here incognito."

"Master Quatre wouldn't use a shuttle in a dilapidated state to risk himself or his companions any injury. Ben can attest to the stability of this craft. He had to help me get the door open earlier, but despite that, everything is in 'tip top shape' he said. Now sit back and relax. In-flight movie is your choice of a variety of discs." Abdul adjusted his shades then pressed a button that lowered a small flat screen before the seats. He snickered. "Ay Duo wait until you meet Rashid, you'll see why I say that my 'elder' would be a better sumo wrestler and probably win over your Ben."

"I have to agree with Abdul on that one, Duo." Quatre said with a smile in his voice. Duo snickered at the thought of Ben and this Rashid person in little white cloths that looked like diapers. He feared that he'd be too busy laughing to enjoy the match if the two could be talked into it. "Selections can be made with the consol on the right armrest. Refreshments and beverages- non alcoholic- will be served at your request once autopilot has been initiated."

"Ah damn! And I was hoping to get a rum coke." A pillow smacked Duo in the head and snickers followed.

"Duo, I'm trying to sleep." Hilde grumbled, stealing Tabitha's pillow.

"You could've of fooled me."

"Wait a minute!" Tabitha said half-heartedly already reaching for the pillow Duo had extended to her.

"Duo has your pillow yanno." Hilde yawned, pointing in his direction and turning in her seat to get more comfortable.

Duo soon settled in his own seat, strapping in as Abdul could be heard making the last of the checks and arrangements in the pilot's cabin and he could feel the steady hum of the engines. He read the note attached to his envelope, before he apparently passed out on Quatre, and he wondered if their mother would continue to put money in even if she didn't have it. Solo didn't bother to look at his, just put it in his bookbag and stared out the window. It was an offer that neither of them could refuse and Jadea had even go as far as including financial estimates on how the money she gave them would influence her living expenses to try and consol them. It worked some, enough to stop them from thinking about it to the point of depression. Duo had saved up some money and had Ben put it on a credit chip for him, he decided he'd put in his new account when they got to Earth. He yawned one more time before sleep stole all conscious thought and his closed eyes soon began the random movement associated with REM sleep.

A soft snore made Solo's ears perk up. He sat up to see Duo dangling in his straps, the seatbelt holding him in place as his braid floated in the low gravity set since the initial take off of the shuttle. He grinned when the braid floated his way. "I think it's time Duo tried a different style." He mumble to himself, holding back his glee as he grabbed the braid and pulled out some hairties, colorful bows and bits he had hidden in his jean jacket.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

Sanc kingdom, the Darlian Institute...

A large dark blue van, with 'Darlian Institute' plastered on its sides, pulled up to the campus dorms and five groggy teens tumbled out still half sleep. Duo rubbed at his eyes, the noonday sun beating down on them mercilessly. Abdul laughed at Duo's accusation that he had drugged them and took pictures of their sleep heavy, spit dribbled faces. Duo scratched the back of his head, his braid felt a bit lighter. He pushed his bangs back from his face as he looked over the dorm and the adjacent class buildings across the street to his left. His hand stilled at the top of his bangs, leaving them splayed in every which way over his hand as he whistled.

"This place sure is huge."

"That's an understatement." Solo commented before laughing outright.

"My friends should be on their way... Duo?" Quatre smiled a faint blush appearing across his cheeks when he glimpsed his friend and covered his mouth to hold back his laughter.

Duo turned to see the amused expression on the faces of his friends and glared at the laughing Solo. "What's so funny?" He turned his head, trying to see if his boxers were showing or something, when two long unraveling braids whipped around to smack him in the arm. His eyes grew large as he lifted one with ribbons and several purplish bows laced through it and began frantically trying to remove them. He was pissed and there was only one person that could get close enough to his hair and live to say he'd actually messed it up a few times...

"Solo!" Duo took off after Solo into the dorm. He chased him up the stairs to the open lounge area on the first floor where he ran into a hard, immoveable chest that was speed walking toward the door. He fell hard on his butt and cursed under his breath.

"Damn." He began to mutter as he turned to his side to rub his sore butt. "Listen bud-"

"Heeeeero"

Duo looked up to see the boy before him wince at the sound of that voice, and he sympathized when call came again. He watched as a smirk quickly passed over the Asian face belonging to the boy, he assumed was name 'Heero' by his reaction to the call, standing in front of him before a mask of indifference settled over the handsome features. Duo's brows bunched in his confusion, 'A game face like Kat's? No, no... why's he hiding so much?'

"Eep!" His own involuntary cry interrupted his thoughts when he was grabbed by his arm and yanked up into two steely ones. Duo's arms were bent against his chest and his wide violet eyes stretched even more as a pair of deep blue eyes caused a chill to run down his back. The iciness in those depths drew closer to his own and he was too stunned to grasp why those eyes and that face were getting closer to him. He blinked when his lips were claimed in a hard kiss. He blinked several times more before those lips left his. He opened his mouth to speak when they descended again, deepening the kiss. Duo's mind reeled but finally registered that he was being kissed, being kissed by another boy! 'Fuck!'

"Fuck!" Came the echoing remark that voiced his own thoughts.

"Oh my..." Quatre said, blushing at the sight before him as a few more shocked gasps filled the room.

"He- Heero?" The female voice cracked, tentative in its pleading for an explanation of some kind as Duo tried to push the boy back, struggling in his vice-like grip. He soon realized he was getting nowhere fast and he froze when he felt a tongue venture toward his mouth again, he opened and bit down.

Immediately, his lips were released and he was pulled back before he could be pushed away from the boy with messy chocolate hair by Solo. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Solo glared down at the Asian boy whose face remained impassive to his threatening posture and protective stance in front of his brother.

Duo didn't want to think what this looked like. Fuck. He knew what it looked like! He was embarrassed as hell, his lips still tingling as he put his hand to them and he could taste a coppery tang across his teeth. He turned his head and spat it out. He was mad, so mad he was speechless and he wanted to let his fists do the talking for him.

Hilde and Tabitha came over to their unusually silent friend. They had seen it but couldn't believe it themselves, turning to glimpse the horrified expression on the face of a girl with long honey brown hair who was wearing a pink frilly sun dress. Then the girl truned so her back was facing them, missing Duo get clear of the other boy before she fled the lounge. A gasp that could have been a sob was her only parting sound, breaking the silence in the lounge.

Heero smirked, he had gotten rid of Relena for the time being and he knew she was probably crying but it was worth it just to have some time to himself. Since school ended two weeks ago the girl invaded his room in the morning clung on his arm the entire day, cheered for him whether he was practicing with an opponent or just working with the bokken at the PEC and asked him to go out with her several times throughout the day. He couldn't breath. He knew his spur of the moment actions wouldn't hold her off long, he had to enjoy it now because Relena would be back in hot pursuit. Peace of mind, for all of the ten seconds was beautiful when the pregnant air pressed in on him and he thought of the beautiful, shocked eyes of the girl he'd kissed. 'Kuso,' he cursed mentally, being brought up on charges for sexual assault was not a good way to start his break. He did a quick bow in her direction and started to apologize and thank her but stopped when he met several pairs of accusing eyes. He glowered at the group, he hated people staring at him. He took in the tall blond and figured he was the girl's boyfriend and matched him glare for glare.

Quatre found himself torn between wanting to admonish Heero for his actions, check on Duo or go after Relena. He decided against going after his deluded friend. He had a feeling she'd only shut him out, convinced that Heero would come and explain that it wasn't what she saw. Yep, right about she was probably in her room seeking comfort from Dorothy. No, he didn't want to go there.

"You fucking prick!" Duo shouted coming out of his stupor and surging passed the two girls and Solo's stiff back toward the wild haired boy standing as if he'd done no wrong.

Heero was shocked, to say the least, at the very male voice that came from the pretty girl he kissed. Duo crouched slightly and came up with a round house kick aimed at Heero's side. Heero caught the heavy black booted foot and watched as if entranced as Duo dropped to his hands to bring himself up into a handstand.

In the seconds it took Duo to drop back into a handstand, he wondered if the guy was a bit daft to still be holding his foot in that iron hold of his hand. He squelched away any pity he felt at the twist of his agile body and brought his other foot in a swinging arc toward Heero's head.

Heero's arched a brow when he noticed the captive foot's partner coming toward him. He tried to block it with his free hand but at the same time Duo kicked at him with his captive foot hand, throwing him off balance. He was only able to blunt the force of the blow with the side of his hand and caught the rest of the blow on the side of his jaw. He stumbled to the side, his uninjured hand cupping the other.

Not giving him a chance to recover, Duo pounced on him, knocking him down on his back. He pulled out scythe and had the now extended, gleaming, black staff at Heero's throat and Heero had his hand at Duo's throat squeezing with the same pressure Duo was applying to his.

Heero felt the bob of Duo's Adam's apple beneath his hand, dispelling the thought that maybe the girl just had a deep voice. He felt like laughing.

Duo huffed in disbelief at the smiling eyes set in the expressionless face that stared at him undauntedly.

A snort of amusement filled the room along with the rustle of papers. "Stupid onna," a dark haired teen, with hair pulled back in a sever pony tail at the back of his neck muttered from the doorway. Papers whistled across each other as he shifted through then and another snort came from him when he looked up from them and the picture of Duo grinning like a loon with the 'thumbs up' gesture as he surveyed the group in the room. "Yuy. I see you have met your roommate. Duo Maxwell meet your roommate Heero Yuy."

Duo didn't move an inch, not wanting to end the staring contest he was now having with Heero. "I'm going to be rooming with this fucking perv?" Duo gritted through clenched teeth.

"Hn."

"Whatchu say bastard?"

"Get over yourself. It was just a kiss, your acting like some sentimental girl getting hysterical over losing her first kiss." Heero said nonchalantly, the glint in his eyes still betraying his blank face. Wufei smiled. Duo bristled, pressing his scythe forward not realizing that Heero's hand didn't tighten like it had earlier, it just strayed to the back of his neck as if to pull him forward.

Quatre blinked and shared a look with Wufei who was leaning in the doorway. 'That's more words than Relena's been able to coax out of him, let alone two sentences.' Quatre thought and Wufei unknowingly nodded his agreement.

"Whatever your preferences, Yuy, you don't have to put them on display for everyone to see and it is dishonorable to force someone." Wufei gestured toward their current positions. "Stop molesting Maxwell so we can get this group settled." He looked back on Quatre's sleepy looking face and added, "Winner is obviously exhausted."

Duo flushed in embarrassment, their positions just registering in his mind: he was on top of the bastard and the bastard was looking smugly at him. 'Goddamn it!' He shoved Heero back making his shoulders connect with the hardwood floor before retracting scythe and scrambling off of him. Duo brushed off imaginary dust and straightened out his Metallica tee as he walked over to Solo who hadn't stopped glaring at the expressionless boy.

"Uh... Duo, Heero's not usually like this." Quatre offered with a disarming smile. Said boy used his thumb to wipe away the blood that had pooled at the corner of his mouth. He checked his hand and then touched the bruise forming on his jaw. He moved his jaw back and forth, testing it. Duo felt his stomach turn as a wet pop filled the room. Everyone, including Wufei, cringed.

'Serves him right, the bastard.' Duo thought turning away from the messy haired teen.

Heero's face remained expressionless for someone who had just popped his jaw back in place. He looked into the mirror on the wall, he touched the darkening bruise, that would be the worst of his bruises if he had any others from his skirmish with Duo. Heero strode purposely toward the open door and to the van.

Duo eyed Heero as he walked passed him without as much of a second glance his way, he had thought that what Heero had said to him earlier and his angered was rekindled with the light blush that covered his cheeks as he tried to ignore his tingling lips. "Phht. The least you could do is apologize." Duo grumbled letting some of his anger fade as walked to Wufei.

Heero paused, his back to the group and his friends. "I apologize for you landing on your ass... but not for the kiss." Heero continued out the door smirking at the short haired girl's shout of "Jerk" and met Abdul at the van's backdoor to help unload the van.

Solo watched his brothers' back stiffen at Heero's comment. "Duo?"

"It's fine Solo." Duo said tightly with a shake of his head and a small sardonic smile.

Solo sent at last glare in Heero's direction and ran to catchup to his brother. "You can get your room changed if-"

"That butt isn't going to scare me off." Duo left it at that and followed Wufei out the door and up the steps to the second floor.

Tbc...

The song Duo's singing with the dock workers is 'Chain gang' by Sam and Charles Cooke; Sam Cooke was one of the first crossover singers, his music and style soaring in the charts during the 50s -60s. Hear the man and hear & read his story at www. soul-patrol. com/ soul/ cooke.htm

(1) mono- Spanish for monkey


	10. getting to know you

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, shonenai, naughty poetry, nudity, my odd sense of humor, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: burgeoning 1x2, 3x4, 5xS. . .

feedback keeps us going.

- - -xXxXxXx- - - means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

ten- getting to know you

After Wu Fei had given them their envelopes and shown them to their rooms, they were pleased to know that they were all in the same hall, Damin G. Wung hall. They considered themselves lucky that they didn't end up in the huge single sexed dorms across the field, they were sure the commute to meet each other would have them missing each other constantly especially how their classes were arranged for the up coming semester. In their dorm there were three floors, the first floor had the lounge, a small kitchen area linking the hall way to the lounge and their Resident Life Coordinator's (RLC) apartment style dorm room- this was where Solo was staying with Sally Po. The second floor had one double where Duo and Heero roomed and two singles - one that was a storage space and the other Wu Fei's room. In the basement, Hilde and Tabitha doubled while Quatre and Trowa had singles.

They dumped the last of the girl's things in their rooms and went with Wu Fei on a tour of the campus grounds. It was midday when they returned to rest in the lounge and Duo got restless and unfortunately for Wu Fei he was closest to Duo. Ten minutes later, chuckles were heard at the exit of a fuming Wu Fei from the lounge. Duo held his head to side trying to catch what Wu Fei was muttering and although some of it was Chinese, he made out a line that he could have sworn was English because it sounded like 'I will not strangle the loud mouth idiot.' He smiled brightly and Wu Fei pointedly ignored him, a twitch in his brow the only evidence that he had noticed him and Hilde heading toward him.

"Hey Wuffers! We're not interrupting 'quiet time' are we?"

Wu Fei exhaled, sparing a quick glare at Duo before his brow twitched. He sighed as he headed for the stairs, hopefully to his room alone.

Duo grinned manically. "You might wanna get that twitch there looked at Wuffers. Maybe you should get some rest buddy, you look a bit beat."

Wu Fei closed his eyes and took calming breaths, they were going upstairs too, much to his dismay. He pulled himself together with a couple more breaths when Duo began a limerick.

"There once was a man named Wung

Who boasted on how well he was hung.

A lass took him to her stead.

He woke the next day and said,

'you can make a fortune with that tongue!'"

"MAXWELL!" Wu Fei blushed to his roots, stopping mid stride on the steps to glare at the braided youth behind him.

"What?"

"We called a truce and I didn't say anything about you Wuffles." He said innocently and Hilde snickered as they went through the door minus one irate Wu Fei, who'd mumbled something about disrespectful Americans as he made a hasty retreat to his room.

"Hey Fei-cakes its not all Americans, just me!" Duo called out as he went to his own room with Hilde in step. He didn't have a problem being called American even though L2 was as diverse in culture as the world itself, but he thought it made sense considering that most of the people who founded L2 were from the US and his Mother was originally from Washington DC. He shared his mischievous smile with Hilde when they heard the door slam a little ways down the hall. He was positive he was going to have fun bugging Wu Fei. "Shesh, that guy needs to loosen up and pull that stick out of his ass."

"Well not all people like nicknames or limericks, maybe he knows this Wung guy." Hilde added with a shrug as she bounced on his bed and looked around his shared room. 'Much nicer,' she thought, 'he definitely has a lot more room than me and Tabby.'

"Yea guess you're right about that, Hil. But did you see him? Gah, that was priceless." He smiled.

Hilde snickered. "Oh you can't tease the poor guy all day."

"Damn, I have to remember that you must read my mind. Ok how about every 10, no 20 minutes?"

Hilde smiled through her glare.

"No? Damn, what about every hour? Hil, you're no fun." He half whined at her arched brow and disapproving-smiling look. 'He's more game for it than my roommate.' He really didn't like the idea of having a roommate who was a smart ass and probably wouldn't talk to him. Yea, he had the others but they wouldn't be around him as much as his roommate would. It was something about the silence that irked him, that got under his skin. He walked about 10 paces to his closet, checking it out and thinking about when they had met up with Heero at the PEC. Heero glared at him and stared at his trapped braid with a look that said 'you idiot,' more or less confirming the kind of communication he could expect from him- none, zilch, zero. And damn it if that didn't open up another bag potatoes that he didn't want to start in on -- Solo had stopped laughing and started glaring at Heero who babysat them while Wu Fei went off to find the guy with the keys. The two were having some sort of pissing contest and he was the marking territory.

Duo pouted, which effectively hid his irritation and confusion with his roommate and his brother, making him look like a kicked puppy. "Yanno you ruined my plan to irritate the hell out of Wuffers over there by reading my mind." He continued to pout, 'though it would more like filling in the silence.' "You made me see what a pain in the ass I woulduve been, but he started it when he criticized my braid on the tour. Hil he said that it was 'unconventional,' 'a danger' and 'needed to be cut'! Did you hear him!"

Hilde mimed the very words that Duo quoted from Wu Fei and shook her head. "Nooo, but you could use a trim." She said with a sarcastic smile before laughing when Duo glared at her.

Duo paced at the end of his bed, crossing and uncrossing his arms over his chest. "Cut my braid, hell no. I couldn't help it that the automatic doors decided to try and eat me alive." He tossed his backpack onto the unoccupied desk under the window then moved the desk so it was next to his closet door.

Hilde smiled in thought, they had to turn off the power to manually open the door to get Duo free and the guy with the key had to unlock the door because autolocked when the power was cut. "I'm not a mind reader, I just know you too well. I call it an occupational hazard."

"You know me- a what?"

Hilde snickered and dropped back onto his bed. "You know, being a friend and all, I bet one could make money off of that. They'd be employed full time, get lots of benefits."

"They call that by another name, several actually if you define what kind of 'friend' for hire you are." Duo's glare melted as he stalked over to Hilde's prone form. "And what kind of 'friend' are you?" He leaned in close as Hilde snapped one dark blue eye open, then soon the other joined. Wisps of his chestnut hair framed his face from a hastily redone braid. She swallowed, her lips felt so dry that even her tongue wetting them seemed parched. Dammit, she needed to get a hold of herself. But it was so hard, Duo was sex personified even if he didn't know it and she found it hard to resist those tempting lips a scant foot away. Then all the reasons why it wouldn't work, including that they were as close as siblings could be, flooded her hormone addled brain and she grinned at him before she lunged up and pulled him down to the bed.

"Ep!"

"The kind that kicks your ass every time and anytime I feel like it." She laughed from where she had him pinned beneath her. She let out a startled sound when she suddenly found their positions reversed.

He smirked down at her and then messed up her hair. He knew how much she hated that. "Right. Maybe I should go get my receipt and see if I can return you." He said laughingly as he scooted back, then hopped off the bed when she made a grab at his braid in retaliation.

He laughed again and danced out of her reach. She pouted and muttered, "No refunds, returns or exchanges. You're stuck with me."

"Damn, I knew I should have gone with the red head with the nice butt." He said with a beatific grin, trying hard not to laugh.

"Oh you!" She growled, trying to fix her hair to no success and settled for chasing Duo instead.

A little while later, they stopped chasing each other when his roommate, came in and left again without so much as a word or hint that they existed.

"Damn he's colder than he was earlier I wonder what got-" Hilde heard a noise and listened as two different grunts, Yuy and Chang, issued before they heard the Chinese teen storming down the hall muttering how he would have to sound proof his room against noisy, braided bakas before they heard his door close again. Hilde laughed. Duo sighed, thinking about the words he exchanged with his hall mate and lack of any with his roommate.

Hilde was still giggling when she tapped his shoulder, "Lighten up."

"I guess I can't hide it from you that it ticked me off a little when Wuffles made that comment that me and Heero oughta make sure we kept it down at night." Duo grouched as they left his shared room and Hilde finger combed her short hair back into place.

"That was uncalled for, but you shouldn't have made that jab at him about having a sword up his butt and then asked if that was the reason why he walked so stiffly." Hilde smiled and Tabitha chuckled as she walked in on their conversation from the stairwell.

They were at the lounge door when she decided to speak, "Sorry to interrupt but there's so much to do around here that I'm itching to go and well DO something. Did you see the pool over by the PEC? The doors are still open and man I can't wait to go swimming."

Duo silently listened to Tabitha and Hilde tradeoff on the water games they could play. He added his two cents on who he'd have on his team and suggested what he thought would be appropriate battle cries for each sport when he thought he had been quiet for too long. He hadn't thought much about the pool and knowing the girls he was sure that they would find away to get him and Solo to go but he didn't know how to tell them about his fear. He was unsure, was to put it lightly, fucking scared out of his wits was a better way of describing how he felt about going into a big pool of water like that. He and Solo didn't know the first thing about swimming. He smiled at his brother when they saw him leave his and Sally's room and made a note to look into swimming lessons or ask one of their friends, Quatre maybe, if they could teach them.

It was almost six and they were surprised to find Quatre fast asleep on the couch with the TV on. They crowded around the sleeping blond, before moving off to the other sofas and sofa chair in the lounge. Duo took up the task of finding the remote.

Solo plopped down on the arm of the one-seater pissed that because of his age, he had an earlier curfew. Sally smoothed out some of his upset by offering him the option of calling her, telling her where he was spending the night and when he'd be back on the weekends but during the week she extended curfew to eleven. But that was conditional; if he came back late she'd put him back on the ten o'clock curfew they had set for him. He had agreed and she smiled at him, making him blush and earning a glare from Wu Fei.

Quatre had told them earlier that there were conditions when they were in the van before they all fell asleep again before he could go into any details. Sally was one of those unsaid details and the other was named Lucrezia Noin. Noin was sipping tea with Sally when Duo and the gang went to visit Solo's room before getting their luggage. Solo couldn't help but laugh when Hilde did a double take at the older version of herself. Duo laughed at the twitching smile on her face.

Noin was Solo's parental guardian and he had wanted to protest it and ask that Duo vouch for him but he stopped mid rant. He didn't want to put anymore stress on his brother. The ladies arranged it so that he got a stipend every week in his mail box at the campus post office. He groused at how they were treating him; at least one woman, his mother, had thought him responsible enough to manage a bank account on his own.

As for rooming arrangements, Solo sighed as he slid down the armrest and into the comfy seat, he let his head drop back against it when he thought about the second glare he got from Wu Fei when Noin and Sally told them that he would be staying with Sally. Sally's apartment like dorm room was built with two separate bedrooms and a lock on the doors, so at least he knew he would have some form of privacy. When he received news of this arrangement, he couldn't stop himself from complaining. Though Noin was quick to shut him up when she threaten to take away his options and have him live with her in her apartment on the other side of the Sanc palace, seven miles away. Fearful of the barely veiled threat, he begrudgingly accepted and muttered, as he put his things away, about how he preferred to room with his brother and the need to be cautious around guys like Yuy.

Solo closed his eyes, letting his head loll toward the sound of the television. Duo sat in the unoccupied space above Quatre's head as he happily channel surfed, his eyes getting wider when he realized they had digital. They all decided on a horror fic, 'IT', which had them all enrapted as the suspense mounted. Earlier on, Quatre gave them a tired mumble to stay and watch whatever they wished when they had first crowded around him and promised them that it wouldn't disturb him. Despite their varying degrees of disbelief, he remained asleep, undisturbed by the screams that occasionally came from the movie.

Duo started at a mumble in the silence, chuckling quietly to himself when he realized it came from Quatre. Quatre was curled toward the couch and didn't have much of a jacket on. When he saw him shiver with another mumble, Duo yanked down the afghan from the back of the couch to cover him looking back up to the tv when darkness engulfed the room. He had been watching the flashing ring of light from the TV so intently that he had forgotten about Quatre sleeping next to him. After a few minutes of complete silence from the TV, Duo jumped when the side of his thigh was nudged. He peered down at his leg and he released his grip on the armrest as he watched Quatre stretch out and nudge his thigh again. Duo let out a quiet chuckle and tucked the afghan down over Quatre's shoulders and returned to the movie.

At some point, Hilde had brought in popcorn at the third half of the movie and Duo found his lap occupied. He blinked down at Quatre as he settled his forehead against his stomach with his arm pillowing his head across Duo's lap. He smiled in contentment and fell into a deeper sleep.

Duo nudged him a few times, only to get a grumpy mumble. A devious smirk crossed his face as he looked down at the unprotected cheek, it was something Sister Helen had taken to doing since he and Solo were teens when she felt the need to discipline them in some small way. Though, he quickly decided not to try pinching Quatre's cheeks ever again because he had almost lost a finger to the snap of those pearly whites. At Duo's sigh of defeat, Quatre wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed his face into his stomach with a pleased murmur. Duo blushed and sent a glare in both directions of the snickers he heard from either side of the room.

He tugged on a lock Quatre's hair, a faint smile playing on his lips as a fragment of a memory spoke of something similar happening between him and Solo. "What is it with blondes and my stomach?" He muttered, munching on some popcorn and hoping his blush would fade quickly.

Catching wind of Duo's comment, Solo's snickering stopped. His eyes became unfocused as he slipped into memory. If anyone were looking in his direction they would wonder why he was shaking in his seat, his arm came up to stem the chill that that went through his body in the warm room. His eyes darted anxiously around the room, wondering if he could just leave. He doubted that he could control his steps long enough to look like he was walking and he didn't want the attention he would draw from his friends, especially his new ones, if he ran out of the room for the privacy of the closest bathroom. He bit his bottom lip when he felt it quiver. His eyes settled on the blond using his brother as a cuddle toy. He envied him and wondered if he would have been able to sleep so serenely if he hadn't been who he was. If he had never been... He squeezed his eyes tight, the depression was seeping back in with the memories of his abuse. He didn't want it to spoil such an eventful day and cursed himself for slipping, letting down his block. He took deep breaths as he sank deeper into the sofa chair, turning away from thinking all together and forced himself to focus on something else, anything else. The movie. He latched onto it and dug his nails into the sensitive flesh on the inside of his arms.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

The next day after meeting their advisors, they all came to an agreement that their professors were strange. Their professors -G, H, J, O and S- preferred to be addressed by their initials and all the plaques that decorated their offices reflected the same. They couldn't understand their need for anonymity like that and considered it was possible that the five had unpronounceable names to spare themselves the pain of mispronunciation. Wu Fei voiced his agreement with a grunt, he could understand the need to let the knowledge of ones name be known to a few. He sympathized greatly because he had a braided, what had Yuy called him when he met him outside their room yesterday... a baka, yes, who mutilated his name on a daily basis, he had found it so hard to believe that it had only been two days. Two days in which the braided teen had come up with several monikers for him... his torment seemingly endless. He seriously thought about just going by his family name, Chang and then his initial.

Duo snickered at the thoughtful expression that took over Wu Fei's face when he related to them about his Professor, G. He was a funny greying, mushroom-shaped haired man who had immediately taken a-liking to him and told him that his full name was Ghislain Baum. The man talked a lot and Duo told them he found out that G knew Howard when they were discussing the option of him getting a part time job. Being fifteen didn't leave a lot options open for him and he couldn't see himself in a burger joint, but if that was all he could get then he'd do it. He didn't share with them that the scholarship he and his brother got partially covered their expenses because of the money their money Mother had painstaking saved for them, but G knew and took him over immediately to meet a man by the name of Otto who owned an auto shop. He smiled at the looks of incredulity on his friends faces and ignored Solo's glare. They didn't knock that it was clever of the owner to play on the word and Duo's bright smile and hopeful expression put further doubt aside, except for Solo. He didn't want Duo to overwork himself and the semester hadn't even begun yet... so to appease his brother Duo restricted himself to work a few days a week. At the mention of this, he saw Solo's glare lessen.

The day went by swiftly and soon the weekend was over and a new routine began. Every morning, Duo was awoken by Solo and each time he would find that his enigmatic roommate had already left. When he came back, Heero would already be sleeping, his things tucked away and his clothes for the next day set out meticulously on the back of the chair at his desk across the room. They'd hardly seen each other, but Wu Fei was just down the hall. It wasn't like he couldn't go down stairs and bug the hell out of everyone there but he liked his hall mate, he couldn't say the same about Heero. His aloof roommate was just that, aloof and he had already forgiven him... to an extent.

He found out that the girl, that he had named banshee when describing her to Quatre and earned a laugh, was none other than Relena Peacecraft and she had a crush the size of the Alaska on one Heero Yuy. Quatre had further explained that the girl lived one dorm down from them and made it a habit of showing up in their dorm unannounced. The girl had been more or less stalking the poor guy for nearly a year since he returned from visiting his relatives in Okinawa. Apparently, he had made a hasty decision to get her off his back for the summer. Duo wouldn't hold a grudge over something like that, not when he had some idea where Heero was coming from. So Duo got to see Wu Fei more than anyone because Wu Fei would either come down the hall to bang on his door and complain about his obnoxious music or come bang on his door and complain about him being in his room.

It was always a good laugh to piss off Wu Fei, and at the end of the first week they met Trowa at the circus. Well what was left of it: three mobile homes, some horses and a large speciality truck to carry them in. That much had remained behind because they refused to leave without Catherine and Catherine 'please call me Cathy' Bloom refused to leave without spending some time with her brother and seeing where he roomed. Cathy had treated them all to some experimental soup that Trowa kept oddly quiet about, well more quiet than usual. Quatre smiled his usually bright smile when Trowa did an infinitesimal nod in the negative about eating that particular soup and Cathy pinched his cheek. Duo had opened his mouth to warn her of those deadly whites and nearly fell off the sofa in laughter when Quatre bore it with a long suffering look and a tight smile. Cathy fitted right in with her motherly disposition as she pulled her curly, toffee colored hair into a high pony tail and probed them for information. Trowa nudged her to let her know he knew what she was doing and gave her the 'I'm not a kid anymore' look.

Trowa was the oldest among them and to Duo, not as stolid as Wu Fei and Heero. He talked and had some pretty damn funny things to say but seldom spoke when he didn't feel the need to. He was taller than Solo, five foot nine. Duo found himself smirking when he overheard Quatre's comment that Trowa must have grown two inches when Solo stood beside him. Duo couldn't help noticing the sulky mood Solo was in the entire time Cathy was with them. He tried to placate him by telling him they could go to the circus in September, making funny faces and sticking by his side. In effect cheering Solo up a little and wrangling a few smiles out of him. They walked Cathy back to the caravan and Duo found Solo admiring the horses as Trowa groomed one of them in the small stead they had set up. Duo smiled when Trowa nodded his head toward Solo and Duo nodded pushing him to stumble toward Trowa.

Solo glared at him but smiled immediately when Trowa helped get up on the horse's bare back. Apparently, Cathy got attached to Solo and as soon as he got off the horse and onto unsteady feet, he was more or less kidnapped by her and asked a flurry of questions are centering on his well being. They all laughed at his blushing face as she looped her arm through his and dragged him off to her home as she gave Trowa the 'you know better' look. Trowa gave them a half smirk and told them since Cathy has all but adopted Solo, he was going on vacation. They all smiled and joked a little more before Trowa and Duo dutifully went off to rescue Solo. There were peals of laughter when they all met up again and Solo complained about her trying to feed him more soup.

During the last hectic -hellish- week of June Duo had gone through mounds of papers to get a permit for his staff. Some_one_ had informed the administration that he had an unregistered weapon. Duo tried to control his huffs of agitation, Scythe was a weapon but he didn't intend go out beating people upside the head with it. Well not without a good reason. It had never been a problem when he was on L2. Then he reasoned with himself that this was Sanc, not L2 and as a pacifist nation permits with explanations were required if he didn't want his staff to be confiscated and be thrown in juvie for illegal possession.

Completing form after form after form, he wondered who it could have been. He thought of his roommate. He didn't want to accuse him of anything especially since the guy didn't seem to care that he was sharing the same room. Duo usually saw his roommate fencing because he would be there practicing with his staff or watching Quatre practice. Quatre priacticed with two beautifully crafted swords, that were sickle shaped with inscribed Arabic and Aramaic script that started in the center of the blades and stopped four inches from the tip(1). He completed the last form and threw his pen on the desk. It occurred to him, as he gathered the forms and Scthye, that it could have been anyone in the PEC.

After he took the papers into the Court administration building and they gave him his temporary license, he decided he need to work off some of his tension and headed for the PEC. As he walked in, he saw people playing tennis on the far end of the court, basketball, and to far right - a level down- some people fencing. He thought about the pool in the next room over, he gripped Scythe and shook his head that wouldn't do, he had barely gotten down the doggy paddle even with Quatre's enthused help and sparing alone today just wouldn't cut it.

A few paces away he spotted Quatre beginning his practice on the mats in the center of everything. Quatre looked deceptively meek wielding blades that seemed more lethal to the little blonde than anyone else. Duo wouldn't let that image fool him, Quatre was dangerous and agile. He slipped out of his flipflops as he followed Quatre flowing through each movement as he turned, jabbed at an invisible opponent, rolled and slashed. He rocked from foot to foot, catching the rhythm inherent in Quatre's moves before stepping in. He rolled across the mat and brought his staff up as he crouched to block and deflect the force of the downward stroke of the twin shotels.

The blond blinked a few times before his eyes met Duo's narrowed ones that reflected his excitement and challenge. He smiled at Duo in acceptance and Duo in turn smiled a catlike-mischievous one as they both jumped back from each other and began again. Before long, their bodies moving in a counter rhythm to each other, they rushed toward the other and met with a clang at the center of the mat.

Heero who had been ignoring the braided teen since his arrival, quickly finished off his partner who had more interest in the dueling teens a little ways away from them than their own match. Heero took off his helmet and tilted his head toward Trowa who had glanced his way in a silent greeting. He eyed the bokken on the wall and looked to Trowa in invitation when a particularly loud clang brought both their attentions to Duo and Quatre. Quatre had both his swords braced against Duo's staff and Duo kneeled before him, his back arching backward.

Heero could see the strain in Duo's black clothed form and thought the boy would give up from the pressure and that Quatre had the upperhand. It surprised him that Quatre was using so much force, anyone who saw him wouldn't be able to see where it was coming from. Trowa only smirked knowingly at Heero's examination of Quatre.

Duo began to lean back toward the mat, still balanced on his feet as Quatre pressed forward. Heero started to turn his head away when he caught Duo dropped back in the corner of his eye. 'Like in the lounge.' He snorted as he watched. The sudden lack of resistance caught Quatre off guard and he struggled to keep his balance and swords from cutting the mat on either side of Duo's head. Duo did a tight back flip keeping his legs tucked to avoid upsetting Quatre's tenuous balance further. Duo stood beside Quatre with a cocky grin on his face and turned to face their spectators without really acknowledging them and unintentionally swatting Quatre across his rear with Scythe.

"Duo!" Duo's name was all Trowa heard, he couldn't tell who had shouted it but he saw Duo look on in concern as the law of gravity came into effect. They both tensed when they saw Quatre falling forward.

Trowa's eyes trailed down the blades in Quatre's hands and realized the tips of the blades were angled toward Quatre's shoulders. Then it was over and Quatre was smiling beatifically. Trowa's tensed shoulders relaxed as he exhaled shakily, it was the only outward sign that he had been afraid for Quatre. Quatre had turned his fall into a roll, just as effortlessly as Duo had flipped from under him, and had both blades sheathed in the scabbards on his sides when he finished the roll into a low crouch, ready to pounce.

"Don't you just admire my technique?" Duo said, that cocky grin still in place though his concern laced his voice. He extended his hand to him and Quatre squeezed it as he stood, reassuring his boasting friend with the pressure and a kind smile. Quatre saw Duo's whole body relax with that action and he bumped shoulders as the started to walk off the mat. Duo gave him an embarrassed smile when he spoke again, "Quatre, yanno you're pretty impressive. When-"

At that moment, their enwrapped audience came to life with thunderous applause, cutting Duo off and startling them both. Voices soon intermingled with the clapping, their audience was telling them how daring they were because in fencing they at least had protective padding while the two were only clothed in loose yoga type pants and tank tops.

Duo gave a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his head before he swung an arm around Quatre's shoulders and returning his friends' attention back to him when he caught sight of the scabbards along Quatre's sides. Leaving their audience to entertain themselves, Duo enthusiastically asked Quatre questions about the shotels and his practice moves. He found out that they were heirlooms of Quatre's family, although pacifists, their ancestors weren't always such and neither was Quatre. Quatre had gotten as far as the pointing out the one of the inscribed names was pronounced 'Ghaa'ib' as he went to unsheathed the blade on his left when gasps brought their attention to the matted floor a foot down from them.

"Come kill me Heero... Try and kill me." At the sound of her voice Heero winced and Trowa, who had been watching Duo and Quatre with questioning eyes, was now turning amused greens on Heero. The girl was dressed in fencing attire, holding a saber to her helmet covered face as she bowed and took a ready stance.

'It was good while it lasted.' Trowa thought sympathetically. Heero had nearly two months of peace with only the occasional, cordial 'hello' to the girl when they crossed paths.

"Relena." Heero's usual monotone was peppered with his annoyance as he faced his childhood friend now turned love sick fool. He hadn't changed much during his year abroad; he'd filled out a bit and let his hair grow an inch more but that was the extent of it. 'Hn, maybe she hit her head while I was away?' He gave her his death glare when she batted her lashes at him.

"Heero, I will prove to you that I have become more than the silly girl you grew up with. That I am a worthy companion." She glanced around the room looking for the girl that had tricked her Heero into a relationship by being deprived enough to use her body. She was sure that was the only way the girl could have gotten to her Heero so quickly. She knew Heero wasn't the type of person to fall for that but the seducer was probably a professional.

'Kissing my Heero when I have yet to do so.' She thought bitterly. She glanced over the room again, she was sure she'd be here to watch Heero practice, that's what she did at every opportunity.

"If that's what you want." Heero's voice brought her attention back to him. "Ninmu ryoukai." Relena saw the small, devious smile that didn't quite reach those cold cobalt blues and she felt her heart flutter. "Omae o korosu." He placed the helmet on with one hand and stepped forward.

Duo quirked a brow at the obvious disdain his roommate was showing the girl who just smiled in her infatuation and looked more determined. "Damn. She just doesn't get it." He'd seen his roommate avoid her as much as possible, exchanging quick words or head in the opposite direction on campus if he saw her. His brows furrowed as he thought back to the rash kiss and the voice that squeaked. Heero went to that extreme and the girl still didn't get it.

"Don't they have an AA group or self-help books for that shit?" Duo hadn't expected an answer but with a sad chuckle, Quatre shook his head no. "She's the one you were hinting at when we asked about obsessed people back on L2?"

Quatre nodded with a small smile, "She is infatuated with him." Duo snorted, but Quatre continued, "Heero has always treated her like a sister and even acted as her bodyguard on several occasions. He probably knew that kiss... um... display wouldn't keep her away for long."

"Hmm, he could've arranged it with somebody he knew."

"I think you handled it pretty well." Quatre teasingly.

"Yep that's Maxwell skill for ya!" He jested with a big grin thinking about the skirmish between Heero and him when they had first met. 'He deserved it,' but he knew how hollow that sounded, it was more like he was trying to convince himself then anything else. It confused the hell out of him, because he'd seen Heero in practice, kicking the ass of any opponent he had and then thinking back to that day and how Heero really didn't fight him back.

Quatre gave him a knowing smirk and Duo groaned.

"Aw shut it, Kat." Duo ignored the heat he felt rising in his face and watched the two dueling with mild interest before a yawn broke free. He stretched and patted Quatre's shoulder. "It's been a long day. Hey, Q-ball, me and the girls are cooking how 'bout you get Trowa to come and I'll get Wufflupagus. And of course," He gestured toward the sparing teens, "cold ass is welcomed, I'll write a note on his board. He looks pretty busy."

Duo glimpsed the tall, willowy teen down below stealing glances at them while watching Heero duel with Relena. Trowa's quiet and calm demeanor made Duo ramble off at the mouth when he would visit him but Quatre wouldn't be too far away to save him from talking himself to death. The tall teen with his uni-bang hairdo didn't mind him talking though and he wondered if that was because of Quatre. It was interesting, really, how Quatre lit up like a light bulb around Trowa.

"Hm..." He watched as Quatre stole glances at Trowa who was now focused fully on the dueling teens, ready to act as referee if Heero meant to skewer her.

He tapped Quatre on the shoulder who smiled and mumbled a nervous "Ok."

"Later Kat." Duo affectionately ruffled the other teen's hair as he left. Duo found himself more frequently checking in on him, almost as much as he did with Solo. He had noticed that he felt the need to look after him. He walked out and headed toward the dorms.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

By the time he got to his room he was sweating. He used the edge of his tank to wipe the sweat off his face. The late June sun was harsh, he knew it would take some time to get used to Earth but the heat wasn't anything new to him, not after working in the torturous heat of the scrap yard. He felt fine. He scribbled a note to Heero and made a mental note to ask Solo if he was feeling ok.

Duo left a trail of clothes as he closed the door to the bathroom and took his hair out of his customary braid. He sighed in bliss as he stepped under the spray and closed his eyes, letting the water rain down on him. He soon tilted his head back, the water splashing and running over his face and down his neck. He open his mouth to the water and lifted his hands to slick back his hair.

He had never taken such long showers back on L2, but there they didn't have a shower that used real water. In the slums and on other poorer colonies, water was a precious commodity and only the rich, and some middle class families could afford to waste water in showers or to wash their cars. He shivered in pleasure, committing to memory the feel of the water washing over him, cascading down his body. He put some shampoo in his hair and worked up a lather.

Ten minutes into his shower, the door to the bathroom opened while Duo finished washing away the last of the soapy foam from his body. A slight draft was his only warning when he was suddenly face to face with his roommate.

They stood stock still before each other. Duo was staring blankly at Heero, but Heero didn't return the stare right away. Instead he let his eyes roam over the shocked form in front of him before returning to those violet pools. His own body seemed calm and more than happy to be standing in front of a very naked Duo. All the while his face remained passive.

Duo shivered, a flush spreading across his cheeks as his hands dropped to cover himself, moving back toward the shower wall. This gave him a view that had his eyes widen comically when he realized that Heero's bare chest was well muscled as the showerhead sent rivulets of water down his body. Duo's eyes came up to a stop on brown nipples, hard brown nip-

'Fuck,' he thought of how odd it was that the word was becoming a permanent part of his vocabulary in reference to said roommate as he flushed at the realization that Heero was standing before him in only a towel and that he was staring.

"Wh-," the half formed question was all he could get out before he was picked up, dripping wet and tossed unceremoniously onto his bed.

"Hey!" Duo yelled, his long pale legs bending at the knee as he tried to regain some dignity. Heero remained at the end of his bed, his arms crossed at his torso with a smug look on his face.

"You are a cold-hearted bastard y'know!" Duo grumbled loudly, his face flushing a deeper red as he tried to cover himself with the soaked linen beneath him, but instead ended up becoming more frustrated because he couldn't pull them free from the now equally soaked mattress.

He sat up, his lips set in a furiously tight pout. He was in a dilemma - Heero was standing there with a gleam in his eyes he didn't like, it made him blush more; his dresser was on the other side of the room opposite Heero and his clothes were still in the bathroom. He turned away from Heero giving him a clear view of one pale butt cheek and the line of his ass and tried reach for his pillow when a towel hit him in the back of his head.

"You always take too long, Baka. I need some hot water too." Heero said, the last part sounding like an after thought as he returned to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Duo exploded. "You... YOU PRICK! Damn you! I wasn't finished! And Fifteen-freaking-minutes is not that long. All you had to do was knock to let me know you wanted to use the fucking shower!"

Duo briskly dried his body and then used the same towel on his hair trying to get it as dry as possible while glaring and grumbling at the closed door to the bathroom. At home, they didn't lock the bathroom door, if it was closed that meant someone was in there and that you should knock. He had forgotten that he wasn't home anymore, he made a mental note to lock the door next time and jam a chair under the knob for good measure.

"Damn cold-hearted bastard." He muttered lowly, not really concerned that he was repeating himself as he quickly pulled on a pair of boxers and tried the bathroom door. It wasn't locked. He smiled. He opened it quietly, ducking inside to snatch his comb, a hair tie and shirt before flushing the toilet and running out of their room and down the hall to Wu Fei's room faster than a bat out hell.

"KUSO!" Duo had just tripped the lock and closed Wu Fei's door when he heard the curse. He snickered before walking into Wu Fei's bathroom to finish getting dressed.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

In the kitchen next to the lounge, Duo didn't care to tell his friends about how Heero had invaded his privacy. Falling into a good mood instantly when he was welcomed with smiles and delicious smelling food. He gave Tabitha a one arm hug with a thankful smile after checking and tasting his chicken stew, for lack of a better name. He shrugged when he swallowed a spoonful and thought it came out good especially since there was a greater selection of vegetables, fresher ones than those imported to L2. He decided tomorrow he'd make some kind of stir fry with the purplish _thing_ in fridge. He grinned it was Heero's eggplant, but he preffered to regard it as the purplish _thing_, he never knew such a plant existed. He was sure that Heero wouldn't notice if some of it was missing - it was freaking huge!

Tabitha came over to stir the stew, she was happy to have something to do, she didn't know how to cook, honestly and was more than happy when Duo had asked her to put in the vegetable after an hour while he took care of the forms he had been groaning about for most of the day. She had felt embarrassed by the elaborate dishes, at least that's what they were to her, that Sally and Hilde had made. Sally made apple pie from real apples and Hilde made an herbal rice dish to go with Duo's chicken.

Heero came down, glaring and Duo ambled over and patted his shoulder. "Hey there buddy, I'm glad you got the message." Heero glared at the offending appendage, and then at its owner with his double meaning words.

Duo only smiled like an idiot before leaning in close, "Pay backs a bitch, ay?"

Heero shrugged off the hand on his shoulder and wondered what had prompt him to do such a thing in the first place. 'To get even? But for what?' he asked himself, was he mad that the braided baka had left and practically showed no interest in his duel with Relena? It was worthwhile and seriously relieved some of the tension the girl caused him on a daily basis when he beat her. Everyone had expected him to go berserk or something. Except for Duo. He shook his head, a very small movement that maybe Trowa would have noticed and wondered again at the disappointment he felt when his roommate wasn't there. Their free evenings were usually quiet if Sally or Quatre didn't pester them into doing something, but now with the other four teens, there was always something going on and he could see this potluck diner was going to become a regular thing on Wednesday nights. He blinked when his stomach made a nearly inaudible sound at the delicious smells filling the room from their small kitchen.

Sally passed Duo who was headed back to the small kitchen. "Oh, Duo did you leave-"

"MAXWELL!"

"Oh I guess you did." Sally chuckled at the mischievous smirk on Duo's face as she grabbed the bowel of popcorn off their small dinning table and sat down by Solo who feigned interest in the TV while watching Heero out the corner of his eye.

"Maxwell. You've been in my room again." Heero quirked a brow at the accusation, 'So that's where he was.'

"Sorry Wufflupagus, Heero here monopolized the bathroom and I needed to finish my hair before it dried and got knotted up. You know how that is Wu."

"That's no excuse. My hair isn't needlessly long so I rarely have that problem." Wufei scoffed.

Duo gave Wu Fei a tight smile. "I see now why you wear your hair that way; it makes your face so tight that your nose looks like it's sticking out so that it matches your snooty attitude."

Wu Fei sputtered and closed his mouth with an indignant turn of his head.

"Tit for tat Wu-man." Duo said laughingly and threw the spoon he had just eaten with in the sink. He smiled mischievously when he saw Hilde put a bowl of mash potatoes on the counter. He ran his finger along the rim of the bowl of mashed potatoes and quickly put it in his mouth when Hilde tried to swat his hand with the mixing spoon.

He danced away with a smile on his face."Besides, next time lock the door."

"It was locked Maxwell." Wu Fei huffed standing at their small dinning table, his pissy mood lightening at Duo's playfulness in the kitchen. It was really hard to stay mad at the braided fool. Then he remembered his defiled underwear.

"Oh?" Duo said smirking at Wu Fei over his shoulder as he tried to steal more mash potatoes. "Maybe get a better lock next time and besides it was an emergency, Wuffers."

Sally cut in, stepping into Wu Fei's line of sight. "I'm glad you could come down and eat with us." She noticed the nervous twitch Wu Fei was developing with a raised brow. Her smile grew when Wu Fei's glower lessened at her greeting and her smiling face, he gave her a respectable nod before his back straighten and he took a menacing step toward the braided teen.

"You could have just written a note and cleaned up your... YOUR sheddings off of my bathroom floor!"

"Wu Fei, I don't have fur yanno. And I did _write_ a note. You didn't like the note I left on your tighty whities? You have very interesting taste in und-"

"Sow seng!(2) By Nataku, Maxwell, Sow seng!" Wu Fei could feel the heat rising in his cheeks at the mention of his now very wordy briefs and boxers. It had been a spur of the moment thing when he'd borrowed the campus van to drive to drive them all to the mall and back. He hastily bought a pack of boxers that had phrases like 'morning smile,' 'love hustler,' and champagne glasses 'here's to you.' And now he was paying for it dearly.

Wu Fei chased Duo, remembering what Duo had written in permanent marker, 'I love Sally' on several of his boxers and wrote the summation of the whole underwear assault on a pair of white briefs in the center of the underwear collage, 'Come and have some of her pie.'

It was derogatory and downright shameful.

He found himself yelling in Chinese as the braided baka easily evaded him. The lounge was filled with laughter, Trowa and Quatre just walking in couldn't help but join in with one look at the two. Solo and Hilde were debating who was the Roadrunner and who was Wiley Coyote. When Duo ducked under the dining room table faster than Wu Fei could snatch his braid, they both burst out laughing and decided that Duo was definitely the Roadrunner.

Duo was starting to worry that the determined dragon, 'yea that's what he is, a fire breathing dragon,' was going to catch him. He laughed nervously to himself, 'well Mama told me not play with fire but I can't help it.' He spotted Heero rising up to go into the kitchen and jumped behind him, turning him to face a furiously flushed Wu Fei.

"Move. Yuy." Wu Fei panted out sternly.

"..." Heero just looked impassively at him while Duo caught his breath. He was sure Heero would let Wu Fei get him, but his roommate didn't budge. Duo stared at Heero's unmoving back, wondering why he was still standing there.

Wu Fei harrumphed at Heero in irritation, crossing his arms over his chest. He exchanged looks with Heero again before glaring down at the half squatting form behind him, peeking at him with one violet eye.

"Fine. You need to keep a leash on your shă zi (3) roommate." He turned and walked toward the others who had brought out the food to the table. "Leave my things be Maxwell."

"Love you too Fei. Sorry about the leavings, I'll get them up after dinner."

"Stop butchering my name Maxwell."

"Ok Wufflupagus. Maybe when you call me Duo, I'll return the favor. Oh, I promise I'll put your journal back, too."

"Maxwell! This is injustice!"

"Oh so you do have a journal!" Duo smiled mischievously and Sally winked at him conspiratually. Wu Fei sputtered, it was becoming a nasty habit of his. He turned away from the braided teen seething, the muscle twitching on the side his jaw was the only indication of him gritting his teeth.

"Hmm ... they say that's not good for your teeth yanno. Well, Wuffles, tell you what. Convince Heero to stop hoggin' the bathroom and I'll only come over to visit." Duo said, turning to get his stew off the stove.

Heero didn't so much as blink at the casual way Duo hinted at the shower incident. The corners of his mouth upturned as he thought of the gibe, following the braided baka into the kitchen to get the drinks. Wu Fei sat rigidly next to Sally, itching to go to his room to make that the braided Maxwell hadn't moved his journal from where he put it. He jerked to get up when Sally laid a gentle hand on his arm, telling him to calm down and guided him with a firm grip over to the table to grab something to eat.

Tbc...

(1) www. ancient-east. com/ collection/ shotel(underscore) ptk.jpg (no spaces)

(2) one dialect of Chinese for 'shut up!'

(3) one dialect of Chinese 'idiot'

PEC - the acronym for Physical Education Center

AN: oh and my knowledge of the various dialects in Chinese language is not that great, so if it's wrong feel free to correct me. And I think Wu Fei would know several dialects of Chinese, but use Mandarin Chinese as his primary, what do you think?

One more thing Thank you guys for sticking with me.


	11. eleven1 The ending is the beginning

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, guyxguy stuff, angst, religious rectoric, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: eventual 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, Solox?. . .

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Feedback is always welcomed.

Denial

by priscel

eleven.1- The ending is the beginning

" . . . " song lyrics

17th of August, 195 Thursday

In the lounge there was a conference vid phone, of course they all had phones in their rooms, but this one was mostly used for interstellar calls. It was costly to use it and Solo argued with his brother that they didn't need to use it that much. Duo only smiled and worked a few more hours at his part time job to make sure that they would be able to call home without any problems.

After orientation, their advisors set up a mock run of what their full schedule would be like and how much it didn't differ from the college set up. Their advisors told them to enjoy the last four days of their break, but the respite was too brief for Solo. He stormed through the lounge, furious with his advisor and himself. Professor O had set up his schedule for him to continue his enrollment in taichi. He hadn't minded it at first, Prof O was hard and constantly admonished him when he couldn't concentrate but at the same time he encouraged him. He appreciated it more than the professor would ever know because it made him feel more grounded, filling in that empty feeling that lurked deep inside him. Before the classes with Prof O, he had frequent bouts of depression that dragged him down if Duo wasn't around to pull him out of it. His brother was his reprieve, his never-ending smiles and hope-filled aspirations helped in so many ways. He was ecstatic about the class, it meant he wouldn't have to be so dependent on Duo. He 'was,' meaning in the past, his advisor had informed him of the time change today and that he wouldn't permit for him to stop attending. He didn't want to stop going either and he agreed to the terms not noticing what his teacher meant. His advisors' words hadn't sunk in until he opened the door to their dorm. While it was good to practice with Wu Fei, that left him little time to wake Duo up and no one else on the floor to keep an eye on that Yuy guy or for Duo to harass. He sighed heavily, when he wasn't there before he could always count on Duo's love to harass Wufei to involuntarily separate him from his roommate. Duo was too forgiving sometimes.

His shoulders drooped and he sighed once more as he compiled a list of people he could ask. He thought of asking Trowa or Quatre, but changed his mind when he remembered the heavy schedule they had. The only consolation for the two was that they were free the whole hour for lunch. He then thought about asking Hilde or Tabitha. He swallowed nervously, they had forgiven Heero as well and prodded the boy before he sent them scurrying with those death glares of his. Hilde was a nuisance, and he had to agree with Heero there. She had this plotting look about her, almost like that smug Catalonia girl . . . . He shivered. He wouldn't leave his brother to either one of them.

He sighed to himself as he dropped his satchel on Sally's couch and ran his hand through his now shoulder length and dark blond hair. In a month's time they had all undergone changes: darker skin, a few pounds here and there, and a growth spurt. He was the one who'd changed the most. He had never used the term 'tan' in regards to himself or anyone else for that matter, until they came to Earth. In a few weeks, the weight he gained filled out his wiry frame and the Earthen sun made his pale peach skin a darker shade. 'Tan, but a peachy tan.' He snorted in amusement at himself as he turned his hand over, thinking of how close he was to their mother's complexion while Duo kept his pale, peach one.

Duo was still his little 'big' brother, standing at 5'3 height, was all limbs and his hair remained the same, glowing when the sun touched it. He huffed. He hadn't realized his brother was attractive to other people either. He had always been the one sheltered from any forward or outright sexual advances. The more he thought about it one of his friends- Charlie dubbed Chucky cheese by Duo- let it slip that he thought Duo was beautiful. His _friend_ was even eyeing his brother like _that_.

He knew Charlie was gay. He respected his preferences. Although, he found it a little hard to listen to him talk about his sexual trysts with his on again/off again boyfriend and how he loved being a bottom boy.

Solo didn't really mind though... at least Charlie had a choice in the matter. He didn't want to think about Charlie's preferences on a more personal level. Thoughts like those touched on darker things that he preferred to leave buried. He had hoped that someday with the taichi classes that he'd be able to face his fears, part of that fear was homosexuality for him. Someday soon... he knew he was placing too much faith in something like that but it was helping him, and the professor saw it as well.

He didn't think all men, gay or other wise, were out to get him but when he was younger on L2 that was a different story. A fuck was a fuck and if you didn't have support, there was no one to care if you were willing or not. He gritted his teeth and forced his thoughts back to Charlie. The thought of him brought a lazy smile to his face. He'd met more reserved gay people than Charlie at their old school. He chuckled to himself, he wouldn't judge or reject someone because of their sexuality or his own past.

Actually, he didn't know what he preferred but he knew he liked Tabitha. She was older than him by a year and under similar restrictions that at least got her to room with someone she knew. It was the same with Charlie, although he was the same age as him, his rich family got him excused from curfews and bound by fewer restrictions. And he came to the conclusion that money did matter even at Darlian: both Tabitha and Charlie had it from their families and his family didn't.

No, he wasn't bitter.

No, he wasn't complaining.

Sally was cool and she made him feel more than welcome but he couldn't imagine being on Earth or any where actually without his brother, mom or Tabitha. Hilde was another matter entirely. He could do without her. There had been a time when he was jealous of her and they both had vied for Duo's attention. She constantly egged him on about the littlest things, babied him which he hated, but she was his sister in every aspect of the word. Even though he wouldn't burn in hell for her, he couldn't imagine life without her. . . well maybe, if he closed his eyes and tried really hard to pretend he didn't know her.

So maybe he was still a little jealous. . . bitter even, but he'd do everything he could for her even if it meant going to hell to bring her back. He definitely wouldn't stay, though. Maybe if she needed rescuing from some place nice like Kaua'i or Beijing.

There are three things he considered absolutes: watching the stars from Earth is better, he liked french fries from fresh potatoes (he'll ask Duo to make some when he got home), Duo wasn't gay and Heero's a jackass. Ok so maybe there were four things. He was certain of Duo's preferences, how could he not be with all the girlfriends he had. But sex, sex was something they joked but never felt the need to brag about. If they went out and got laid, they did it and that was that. Somehow this brought him back to thinking about that Yuy guy. He glared at the innocent wall across from him, if he could he knew there would've been a sizable, smoking hole there right about now.

He'd watched Heero; he was a model student/overachiever who excelled in any activity but only participated in the swim team which he was captain of, helped out Zechs with the track team and kept his class standing at number one with extreme prejudice. What he didn't get was that why such a popular, highly sought after guy that he saw damn fine girls flocked to at his slightest utterance intentional or no (Relena was never far behind), and would purposely blow them off. He thought of several possibilities: the guy was either gay, on some serious narcotics, or a basket case with dominance issues. He decided that he was all of the above with a humorless snort and felt wary of the day the nut would crack. He gritted his teeth and decided that he'd make sure Duo was nowhere around him when that happened.

He remembered the grip the guy had on his brother the first time they had met him and his mind drew up the worst case scenario which he quickly blocked out. His mantra from years ago resurfaced as he rocked on the sofa and his lips soundlessly said the words: _Not all men are like Quin_. Those words helped him focus when he was in a crowd but did little to silence the echoes of darker thoughts and wants... needs he wouldn't acknowledge, needs that an eight-year-old should have never known about. He never told anyone that Quin had found something in him that made him enjoy it. He never told anyone that the itch to feel it again never left him. The Sister never knew what some of the older kids at the Church gave him in exchange for their free kindness, but he never let them touch him. He let no one touch him for almost a year after that happened, no one except his brother. He flushed in embarrassment at the memory of how he had offered himself to Duo back then. He had to remind his eight-year-old self that _that_ wasn't something brothers did with each other, that Quin was never their brother.

He remembered how the news of there acceptance brought him both joy and fear; fear of never knowing why he could still feel him or why Quin could do something so hurtful to them, and then turn around and call them his brothers as if it never happened. Then there were the nightmares. . . . He just wanted it to be over. Gods did he. He wanted what Father Maxwell had spoken of one time in service, closure (1).

So during the week before they left for Earth, he took matters into his own hands and went to confront Quin. He never told Duo that he had gone to visit him. He knew if he had, he wouldn't have denied his brother coming with him and if he told their mother he would have folded to his mothers' dissuasion. He had needed it.

- - - xXxX (Flashback) XxXx- - -

Solo walked under the banner above the door that stated, 'The Rox Restaurant - Open for lunch and Dinner -Sunday brunch only' in red slanted script. 'Brunch?' he wondered and forced himself through the front door before he lost his nerve. He distracted himself going over the word again, wondering what time of day it actually represented.

It didn't keep his mind preoccupied for long as he took in his surroundings. There were two muscle men near the door, cloaked in the shadow there and a man who eyed him with a predatory expression leaning against an unmarked sedan near the curb. He glared at the man and walked defiantly passed the bouncers without a glance in their directions. He hadn't considered the danger he was putting himself in by going alone and not telling anyone. Especially since he was skipping two classes to be there. There was no way he was going at night, not with Jadea for a mother. He could see it now, their mother would've had him across her knee on the steps to the club, beating the hell out of his ass before he could get a foot inside. Oh they had a cool, but she was tough as nails. She had said more than once to him, when he rebelled against her for keeping them under lock and key, that no matter how old he was he'd never be too old for a butt whopping.

He shivered. He hoped it wouldn't come to that if his family somehow found out and that would mean that he got caught up in the danger he was pointedly ignoring. He found an unoccupied booth and told the server to tell Quin his name and nothing more. The server suggested that he take another seat, Solo glared at him until he left to deliver his message. Twenty four minutes later, Solo was drumming his fingers on the table, wondering if it would be considered 'chickening out' if he left after an hour. He decided to distract himself by studying Quin's place of work. From what he could tell, The Rox wasn't all that bad during its daytime hours. The drifters -usually druggies and prostitutes,- clubgoers, and spectators in nondescript vehicles that one expected to find loitering around the club were mostly gone. The mellow quiet was enhanced by the soft jazz playing in the background, the soft lights and the fresh smell of coffee made Solo liken it to the street side cafes he'd seen on TV.

He looked at the clock above the bar, 0930... two minutes later. Have you ever notice that when you're waiting on something time passes by a whole lot slower? Well Solo noticed. He was missing class right now, class with Tabitha. He psyched himself up. He needed to do this. A pretty server in clean, casual black slacks and an off-red blouse took and brought back his order for a cinnamon roll and a closed, pint of milk. He was munching on that when a shirtless, auburn haired man strolled by disrupting his imaginings that the Rox was indeed a café instead of a club. The tall, sinewy muscled man was wearing loosely tied, silk pajama bottoms that sat low on his narrow hips. He went to the bartender and greeted him, well aware of the appreciative looks he was receiving from the serving girl Solo had met a few moments before.

He rolled his eyes and caught sight of a small book, 'Daily Grain' it said. He picked up the paper pamphlet, turning it over in his hands when he saw creased pages, folded edges and thought people in the club must have used it for scratch paper or to give out an odd number or two. He opened it expecting to see such, but instead the folded pages were reference points and page marks much like he did when saw something of interest in a book he was reading. Before he could do further investigation, the pamphlet was snatched out of his hands. He met two vacant yellow-tinged, hazel eyes set in an older, familiar face. Solo carefully kept his face blank and swallowed the last of his cinnamon roll as the man sat across from him. They stared at each other for a long while and Solo would have gladly patted himself on the back for not shivering or getting up and leaving before finding out what he needed to know.

"So you were never our brother." Solo stated coolly, his eyes taking in the pained expression that flitted across Quin's face.

"No, but I had never intended..." Quin gripped the pamphlet, turning his head to press his lips against the back of his raised, slack fingers. He hadn't expected Solo to say that with such absolution, the two of them meant so much to him. He grimaced at the cackling he heard echoing from somewhere he couldn't place.

Solo arched a pale brow at Quin's reaction and half apology, taking in the man sitting across from him. He didn't all look like the terrifying man from his dreams; he looked hurt, lost and lonely. His long auburn hair held back by a simple black clamp at the base of his neck. Quin's appearance wasn't the only noticeable change since that night; he spoke proper, that was the best way he could describe it. He spoke a little like Quatre did when he talked to the administrative staff at Darlian over the phone, like Brianna when she bragged about her family lines. He sounded upperclass, but time had passed and time changed things, people changed... he hoped.

"Yon, Solo," The use of his name brought Solo out his thoughts and Quin's answering smirk erased the sympathy he'd felt as Quin gestured toward the pamphlet he tapped against his hand, "you know this doesn't belong to you." Quin stilled in his movements, looking at the page Solo had opened it to. He looked up from the pamphlet and spoke, "...As they say what goes around comes around... Especially when you are me and your mother dies from overdosing while in labor with you." He laughed humorlessly.

Solo sat motionless, his mouth forming an 'o' at the bitterness and utter hopelessness wrapped in Quin's every word. It made him wonder if that's how he would sound if he was left alone with his thoughts. Fortunately, he rarely had time to himself and he made sure he didn't so he wouldn't have too much time to think about the stuff he tried to keep buried. Though he had thought that he was pretty messed up before coming to see Quin, he shivered feeling the empty stare passing over him and knew he was a far cry from the 'messed up' Quin was. He wouldn't feel sorry for him, but he'd admit he cared... a little and pushed away the whisper that said it was something more.

Quin continued on talking, his voice becoming thicker with each word, "A drug addict's baby who no one wanted to deal with except for ou- _your_ Mother. No matter what — _Jadea_ did to help me, no matter how much she lost to her own parents to keep me... I ended up back in it all... Swallowed up by it."

Solo was shaken by Quin's ominous tone. He forgot the questions he wanted answered when he felt those vacant eyes touching him again.

"And you know what, Solo? I get drunk off it every day." Quin licked his gloss-covered lips. His husky voice sent a shiver of need through Solo when he realized that Quin had never stopped watching him, "Want a taste?"

Solo bit his bottom lip at the feeling he fought down. Was this the temptation that Father Maxwell had spoken about in his sermons? Solo was brought out of his thoughts by a thump to his forehead. He glared at Quin as he withdrew his hand with the pamphlet curled in it.

Quin snorted a laugh. "Don't give what I say too much thought, lil brother."

"I'm not your brother. So don't call me that." Solo seethed, noticing that Quin changed the subject again; changed his expression with this one that was teasingly nervous while the other one wanted to devour him.

"Then what," Quin leaned forward, his muscles flexing with the movement, "what, pray tell, would you like _me_ to call _you_... love." Quin smirked at the light blush that covered Solo's cheeks.

Solo fumed, he hadn't expected this. He really didn't know what he expected. He had just wanted to settle things. "You sound like a prostitute." Solo bit out, surprised at himself and feeling confused by the hurt look that crossed Quin's face before it disappeared like it did before.

"Ha ha... I'm many things. But, _Love_, one thing you should take to heart... I'm not something you want to mess with." Quin said his sly expression becoming blank as he tilted his head to the side and rested his cheek on his upraised fist while he flipped the pamphlet through the air with his other hand. All the while, he watched Solo through the corners of his eyes. "'Who can make him clean that is conceived of unclean seed?' And walk according to the flesh. Don't dirty yourself with me. Go home little boy" (2). Quin said with a dismissive wave of his hand as he sat up.

Solo was shocked into remembrance of Father Maxwell's sermons and bible lessons. During that lesson he had felt as though they were being watched and that eerie feeling had come back to him, making him wonder if Quin had been there. If it wasn't for the lascivious smile he bore, Solo would have thought that he meant the apology in his voice. He knew the verses, Father Maxwell hadn't forced them to learn it, he knew it and its meaning wasn't the way Quin was playing with its interpretation. It wasn't meant to be dark, empty and final.

"... the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold in sin"(3). Quin had begun talking so softly that he hadn't heard the majority of what he was saying until he raised his head and leveled yellow tinged eyes with his.

"It also says that you should embrace the Spirit and let it dwell in you. Live by and walk according to the Spirit and it says that you can be helped, you are not damned" (4). Solo remembered it from the sermon, Quin had been there, and he suddenly found himself reiterating as best he could the part Quin chose to ignore. He swallowed in disbelief. He was advocating for Quin, trying to get him to believe that there was hope. Arguing with him using Bible verses of all things! Today was not going like he had thought at all.

All expression melted from Quin's face at the hopefully sound in Solo's voice. 'Absolution?' He dismissed it and resigned himself for whatever kind of Hell fate had in store for him. It seemed only right with all the sins he committed. He was certain that there was no 'saving' him. No, he couldn't deny his need of Crystalis and willingly gave into his urges, the needs of the flesh... his mind.

He laughed hysterically. "What are you trying to do Solo? Save my _soul_?"

Solo started, at first seeing the thoughtful look of the man that reminded him of his brother before... before what happened years ago, had him hoping that maybe they could get him back. But the laugh and now the lecherous look made him want to run away. He surprised himself again with his own resolve and remained sitting. He didn't know what he hoped to accomplish by debating with Quin over this whatever it was they were doing, but a part of him wanted him back. Wanted things to be back to the way things used to be, none of the hurt or the violation, the pain or the lies. He held Quin's empty gaze... for what had been there was gone again and it made him shiver. He pulled the ends of his jacket together as his hands trembled, trying to make quick work of the zipper. He zipped it midway, leaving it and the movement of his hands unseen by the high table.

"There is no hope for me Solo." Quin said with a leer. "If I must quote again, then know this, little man, it is not that easy a thing." Quin tapped one manicured finger nail on the side of his head as he spoke, "'For the mind is an enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God.' There is no saving me, So-Low"(4). Quin chuckled and leaned more across the table, his eyes roving over the defiant expression on Solo's face.

"I-I've always believed that there is 'good' in even the most wicked of people. Quin, you were never like this before. I-I think it is the drugs, if you -"

"Don't! Don't tell me what you '_think_' the problem is. You KNOW _nothing_." He grounded out through clenched teeth, after he pounded his fist against the table. It pained him, he wanted to be free of the blood on his hands, to be free and happy like others but after what was done to him, he couldn't touch another person without them becoming addicted to more than just his body. He felt himself being pulled down again, beneath the welcoming blanket of numbness that he loved and the pain of reality slipping away. He felt his eyes move on their own accord. He saw them rack over the form of the young man that Solo was becoming and that sent a tendril of excitement through him. He bit down on his tongue, trying to hold on to this lucid moment. He continued more quietly, "You've tainted yourself long enough by being in my company, you should go before I add to the list of things that no number of 'hail Marys' will give me penance for."

The sorrowful sound in Quin's voice threw Solo for another loop. He was confused and wanted to ask him more, his curiosity overcoming his instincts telling him to 'go', but before he could Quin took the decision out of his hands. He rose stiffly, his eyes downcast and escaped to the back of the club.

- - - xXxX (End Flashback) XxXx- - -

He pulled the copies of his and his brother's schedules and pieced together what he knew of the others. Solo was so absorbed in trying to fix his schedule that he didn't hear the door softly close. He'd slammed the door when he'd came in, but the door rebounded from the force of it. He didn't care to notice it because more often than not the door was always unlocked. Duo, Solo, Hilde and Tabitha had questioned it at first but quickly fell in-sync with everyone else. It was safe. Only other students had key cards to the dorms, the janitorial staff, security, Dean, and RLCs. The doors even auto-locked at 10 pm and unlocked again at 6am. Though the new recruits from L2 made sure they locked the door when they weren't there and at night.

Solo leaned over the coffee table and let the pin fly across his spiral notebook; he wrote down any activities he could think of that Duo was participating in and his own extracurricular activities. He was so ensconced in writing that he didn't notice the scantily clothed body moving about the room.

The observer milled around by the door and then went into the fridge to scoop out a bottle of Sunny D. He sashayed over to the window, glancing back at Solo's hunched over form through black lined gray eyes. He shifted his weight to his right foot, his tight hip-hugging acid black jeans slipping down to show pale skin. He sat down on the arm of the couch and ran his hand through his spiked black-blue streaked fringe, pushing it back passed the bar piercing in the top of his left ear. He made a popping noise with his mouth when Solo failed to acknowledge him. Then he moved to huffing and pouting, which seemed to prompt Solo to turn away without even a glance in his direction.

He stretched out with his left arm sliding along the back of the couch, trying to get comfortable. Soon, he was on his knees on the arm of the couch trying to peer over Solo's shoulder and see what had captured his friends full attention. He only saw Heero's name and then Duo's on the sheet he was writing on. His bottom lip puckered and he wondered why Solo was so concerned about Heero 'stone face' Yuy when he acted like the charismatic teen on more than one occasion. Now being one of those occasions, he was ignoring him when he had come all this way (from the next dorm over) to brighten up his day.

He thought of the other boy as one of the nerdy types, his head was always in a book and he was too shy to tell Tabitha he wanted to be more than just friends. But on second look, no one could see anything that said 'geek' about him but he could see the stoicism in a broody sort of way that was similar to the Asian teen Solo couldn't stand. 'Hmm it makes sense.' He cupped his chin with his thumb and index finger in thought as he gave Solo the once over before continuing his thought, 'Two people who are so alike wouldn't be able to stand being around each other for too long.'

"Charlie."

"Hm?" He said intelligently, blinking at Solo who hadn't moved an inch.

"Quit studying me."

Charlie gave a nervous chuckle in response.

Solo sighed and put down his pencil to give his friend some attention. "Ch, you're worse than a cat."

Charlie laughed and slinked down the arm of the couch to rest his head on Solo's shoulder. "Hey So' lets go to the club? It'll be fun and keep my mind off things."

Solo arched a golden brow.

"Yea, we broke up again but this time for good. He's into some stuff now that I don't want to be apart of." He shut his eyes tightly and tentatively put his hand on Solo's lower arm and scooted closer.

"Drugs."

Charlie didn't move. He exhaled loudly in unspoken agreement, "I thought maybe I'd try a little but he did things that I wasn't ... I didn't think people did that sort of _thing_." Charlie blushed and rubbed at his nose with the back of his hand still covered by his long sleeved shirt. He hated it when he blushed it always made his nose itch or made him sneeze. "I-I know I talk about sex all the time Solo, but me and Jason weren't all that crazy with it. We had mutual agreement to leave the S and M stuff alone." He shrugged and smiled to himself. "We got off on kinkiness though, but he-"

"He didn't hurt you did he, cuz-"

"No." He answered quickly, Solo's tone was dark and it made him look up at his friend who continued to stare off at nothing. He settled back against Solo and continued when Solo remained quiet. "No, we just did a few things that I didn't feel comfortable with. He wanted more of the drugs. He wanted me to take more of the drugs too but not the powdered kind I tried before. He assured me it would work faster then the few crystals I ate." Charlie sighed and shrugged, "I didn't want to so I refused and he said it was over, threw me out of his apartment in the middle of the night with just the sheet that covered me and left. Sally came and got me. I was a blubbering mess. I'm all right though. It not much different from all the other fights we've had that lead us to breaking up for some reason. Just 'cause he's 20 doesn't mean I let him boss me around! I guess. . . I guess this time it's just permanent now."

"It's best."

Charlie chuckled without the humor. Solo was more like Yuy then he cared to realize with his two word sentences and catchalls. They sat quietly for awhile, Charlie began to doze, quite comfortable on his Solo pillow. He thought about how life would be much simpler if he was the cat Solo always said he was, he was pretty sure he'd be purring now. 'Maybe he'd be interested in experiment?' He wondered briefly before discarding the thought all together. Solo was much like Duo, in that he was open and inviting, but that was only to the people he let get close. More than three fourths of the time he was intimidating in his handsomeness and kept to himself. Charlie lazily traced the line of Solo's jaw with his eyes to the space where it met his ear.

He wondered if Solo would blush if he touched him there. It looked inviting, so very inviting. ' So tempting...' He thought biting his lip as he settled for a one-armed hug around Solo's waist. Although he told Solo that he was fine, he felt like he was dying on the inside. He knew sex was the worst way of dealing with his problems, but it was his best cooping mechanism and Solo smelled really good.

"Chuck?"

"Hm?" Charlie responded, his nose twitching at the heat there as leaned into Solo so he could bring his knees up to his chest to hide his arousal.

"You said that after your first time with Jason you felt loose?"

Charlie sat up and nodded his answer to him even though his brows bunched together in thought with a small smile. What had he been thinking just now? He thought it was an odd thing for Solo to bring up, even though he had told him they could talk to each other about anything. Ask any question. But this, he shrugged at the coincidence and stretched out on the couch. It was a little embarrassing to him because Solo still wore a straight face but there was the barest hint of a blush in his cheeks and he smiled, relaxing. It was incredibly cute.

"So is 'loose booty' the reason why you and other gay guys walk with a swish... I guess that's the best way...nah a twist, yea, in your walk?"

Charlie blinked his kohl lined grays at Solo and laughed at the serious expression he found there.

"'Loose _booty_'!" He laughed again, rubbing the glee from the corners of his eyes, his heart lighter.

Solo pouted with a slight smirk, his friend was smiling again, "Are you done now?"

Charlie held his side. "Just give me a minute," he breathed. "Damn, only a Maxwell would come up with a phrase to describe something I couldn't."

Solo smiled and Charlie's eyes misted, his heart warmed at the sight. "I hadn't known I twisted that much." 'I didn't know you were watching, damn my heart's a fickle thing.' "I really didn't know and I can see you doing a study on the looseness of butts and people calling the police on you for being a pervert and debased."

"Hmm... I could have a statement for them to read saying its for the good of all to know the source of twitching butts." The corners of his mouth twitched as he held back his laugh to keep the serious expression on his face.

Charlie blinked, "Eh?" He looked at Solo's serious expression and swallowed. "So' you weren't actually... seriously considering doing some sort of study-"

Solo burst out laughing, unable to keep it in any longer.

"Damn So', you had me thinking you'd lost all the marbles in that pretty blonde head of yours." Charlie pouted and snatched up the sheets with Solo's scrawl all over them from the table. He then held them behind his back when his friend tried to take them back. "You should go do something."

"I was doing something before you interrupted me." Solo scowled through his amused smile as he reached again for his kidnaped papers.

Charlie bounced over to the next couch pillow, jerking and shoving them under one jean clad butt cheek. He smiled. "You know, they say it's not healthy to be working so hard, let alone be abandoned to one's own thoughts."

Even though Charlie had been referring to himself, Solo had a knowing look on his face and acquiesced with a nod in agreement. He picked up his things, leaving his captured papers with Charlie and went to drop his stuff off in his room. Charlie sighed, collapsing back against the couch. He resigned himself to being left behind, after all he had suggested that _he_, i.e., Solo go and do something. Solo didn't seem interested in going to the club. 'There was no _we_ in that little statement anyways.' He thought bitterly, stretching out on the couch while bouncing one foot off the side when Solo grabbed his hands and pulled him up and toward the door.

"Lets go."

He smiled and tilted his head to the side in wonder when Solo didn't let go of his hand once they were out on the foyer.

Tbc...

(1) referenced Mathew 18:15-17

This passage is said to be more about 'resolution' between two people who have wronged eachother, I don't know if it really applies to Solo's situation but this is how he interprets it.

(2) job14:4

(3) romans 7:14

(4) Romans chapter 8

_Title_ borrowed from the Smashing Pumpkins.

AN: Sorry for the long wait... been editing like crazy, working on another story and life has its influences as well. Thank you for your comments and you know it would have been interesting if Trowa had seen Duo and Quatre on the couch (smiles). And Solo... we'll just have to wait and see.

I think updates will be about a month apart, I'll do my best to keep it no longer than that.


	12. eleven2 the beginning is the end

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, nc acts, shounen ai, angst, language see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: eventual 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, Solox?. . .

" . . . " or italics denotes song lyrics

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

AN: This still needs some editing, if you spot something that sounds weird let me know. Surpisingly enough this is still part of chapter 11. smiles

Denial

by priscel

eleven.2 the beginning is the end

He knew the beat. With his head bobbing slightly, he whispered "ONE. Nothing wrong with me. Two. Nothing wrong me. Three. Nothing wrong me. Four. Nothing wrong me... Come on, So!" Charlie whined, bending at the waist and tugging on Solo's hand with both of his to emphasize his impatience as they neared the club.

Solo chuckled. "Ok. I'm coming. Why do I feel like some shinny new bobble that you're showing off to your ex.?" He smiled, ignoring the pang of something to keep the comment light and teasing. He caught up to his scantily dressed friend and dropped an arm over his shoulders when Charlie shivered, walking the rest of the way side by side.

"Because in a way you are. But more than that, So', you are helping me prove to that jackass, that I do have friends that care about me . . . The prick. Whatever, we're here to have a good time and not dwell on my shitty relationship." Charlie said, forcing the bounce back in his step. After a while the bounce became more natural and soon matched the rhythm and beat they could feel the closer they got to the open entrance to the club. "Besides you look hot." He muttered as an after thought, sparing another of his many appreciative glances at Solo's jean clad form. His face heated when he realized Solo was staring at him and shrugged his shoulders as if it were common knowledge.

Solo was glad it was dark or else Charlie would've teased him about his pinking cheeks and offered no response to his compliment.

"Raze." Charlie said, smiling as the music boomed through the open door of the club.

Solo blinked at him with a clueless expression.

Charlie chuckled, patting his friend's hand in his. "The name of this club. It's gotten better since the new owner took over. He seems to have your brother's love of old Earth music."

Solo nodded absently listening to the music, he felt oddly anxious watching the throng of bodies moving and feeling the heat that was radiating off of them. To his surprise, they were not carded at the door, as he took in the room he automatically knew why; the clubgoers were of varying ages the youngest looking was around 14 and the oldest were in the mid twenties. He arched a brow at this odd mixture, with all the laws and statutes in place to protect the young and keep the legal drinking age at 21, this club was sure breaking every single one. In Sanc of all places. He knew one couldn't guess age by appearance because he had been told that he could pass for twenty.

His eyes flitted back to Charlie as he waved to a group of teens, three girls and two guys, that were coming toward them. Solo remembered them from Mr. Khushrenadad's class and one was on the track team with Duo, Nanaki. Nanaki and the girl he was draped over was a study partner of his, Claire. He smiled and greeted them, his eyes took in the disappointed look on Charlie's face, putting two and two together when he noticed how close Nanaki and Claire were getting. He knew that Charlie had an interest in Nanaki for a while now, and knew it was best that Nanaki was unavailable. Charlie was vulnerable. He didn't want to see his friend hurt, even though he had told him that he was already over his ex, Jason, he knew that couldn't be true. Charlie bemoaned him too much for that to be the case.

They ordered some drinks, and Charlie tried to order alcohol but the waitress had him press his thumb to a palm-sized scanner. It blinked red and Charlie pouted as he mumbled, "I'm still not old enough?"

The waitress smiled and shook her head before suggesting the fruit cocktail and then left to fill their orders. Solo rubbed his chin and smiled when he thought about how this club had managed to be so successful: in order to be a club for all ages, the club was a restaurant of sorts and had lots of security and scanners.

Solo had to give the club owner credit, it was an ingenious idea. He pouted, then sighed when they remained seated at the table and he watched others enjoying themselves while Charlie kept up the conversation with Nanaki and Claire. He was getting bored. They had come there to dance, have fun and forget their troubles for a while. He itched to move.

'If I wanted to come all the way over here just to sit, then I coulduve stayed at home to do that.' He grumbled to himself, huffing as he rose to his feet, snagged Charlie's wrist and pulled him from the table. He pulled his surprised friend into the miasma of moving heat and sound when he heard a familiar beat. It was a song that Duo had introduced him to once when they were all stuck at the dorm and decided to make the most it with some music. It was reggae, it had a pulse and it made him want to move. Unfortunately, he wasn't much of a dancer but he could move a little. He stuck his bottom lip at the memory of his brother's taunt: So' you move like a geriatric old man.

"_Intro: The gal dem Schillaci...Sean da Paul So me give it to...so me give to...so me give it to..."_

He laughed at himself and Charlie looked at him suspiciously.

"_ ...shorty... Baby girl...baby girl...Sean da Paul sey... " _

"Are you sure you want to dance with me? People will think that your gay." Charlie looked at their joined hands, feeling edgy, and afraid of hurting his friend's reputation but wanting to dance with him.

"_Chorus: ...time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm I got the right temperature to shelter you from the storm.."_

"Or bi." He laughed with a shrug. "Don't tell me you're backing out now?" Solo arched a golden brow at his friend who looked down at his feet. "I don't care. You are my friend. We came here to have fun. So show me how to dance to this you club bug." Solo teased with a smile.

"_...turn you on, and girl I... Wanna be the Papa...You can be the Mom...oh oh! "_

Charlie let out a short laugh. "Oh gods, So', you are so corny." He smiled and pulled Solo further out on the dance floor.

"Show me whatcha got." Solo shouted standing in front of Charlie and moving to the beat.

Charlie flushed and glared as Solo laughed at his dispense. He hardly ever felt self-conscious but he did, he realized, with Solo watching his every move.

An hour later, Charlie felt foolish for thinking that dancing with Solo would involve their bodies touching. He blamed his need for contact on his withdrawal from Jason. They always touched or kept in close contact with each other. He laughed when Solo made faces and started doing something he called the 'Pee wee Herman.' He stopped dancing, holding his sides. "Gods, So'! Where the fuck did you see that?"

Solo shrugged, "TV, when I was a kid." The jovial spark dulling in his eyes on the subject, "On L2... well the poorer sects, I have to remember not all of L2's colonies are poor even though where we lived it... poverty made up our whole world." At some point he had stopped moving to the music, he voiced dropping to a whisper as he stared off at nothing. "What we saw on TV were usually broadcasts that looped off the moon. Duo and Qu- they rigged up a receiver for it." He smirked at Charlie's thoughtful look, "Hey how about I get us something to drink and you keep dancing?"

Charlie nodded, quickly losing sight of Solo as the crowd continued to move.

_"Oye Loca! Ven páca! Come here!"_

Before he realized it the song changed and the majority of the people around him were in grinding groups of two. With a startled yelp, he stumbled forward into the person in front of him.

"Sorry. I-" His eyes were the size of silver dollars as he realized who he'd bump into.

"You know I've missed you..." The man standing before Solo said with hollow sincerity, cupping the side of his face and running his thumb over his cheek. "Lets go somewhere."

Charlie blinked, the spell of what used to be broken by the reality of his memories but that didn't stop his heart beat harder in his chest. "N-no."

_"... Come here!"_

He shivered, the guy singing sounded eerily like the man standing in front of him. He turned to go but was pulled back to stand uncomfortably close to the familiar man. Charlie winced as the grip on tighten when he tried to pry the fingers from his arm.

"Jason. Let go of me." He yanked at his arm to no avail and glared when Jason, a delicate looking man with dark brown hair and only a few inches taller than him, cupped the side of his face again and pressed his forehead to his.

"Don't make a scene. Do you want that friend of yours to worry your friend?" Charlie glanced in the direction Solo had walked off in, letting Jason move him so they swayed with the crowd. He kept his eyes downcast, the frown on his face deepening when Jason let go of his arms and pulled his body flush against him. "Maybe you were thinking we could do a threesome together. As much as I've seen you hang all over that kid, bet you've been wondering..."

Jason's voice dropped to an intimate whisper, his lips toying with his ear more than saying anything that made sense. Charlie glared, punching Jason back. 'I miss you, God do I, but you have changed so much.' "I don't know what you think you're doing but its not going to work. I-I..."

He trailed off, pissed at himself for not being able to keep the pain out of his face or tell Jason it was over.

"Charlie?" He unconsciously moved toward Solo's voice. Jason grabbed him and forced him into a kiss. Charlie's eyes widen as he choked.

_"Hah, Hah..."_

"J-Jason...wha-" He coughed out, his shaking like they could barely hold him up and the music taking on different meaning. 'So loud! Who's panting?'

Jason smiled, looping his arm around Charlie's waist and sliding a small vial into his back pocket as he stared down at Charlie's drowsy but lustful looking face. His eyes lingering on his slightly open mouth as he panted. "Told you you'd like it. We could've had a little more fun in private the last time you were over."

Charlie gave him a lazy look, not hearing half of what he was saying. Jason snatched a full wine glass out of the hand of a passerby and forced it to Charlie's mouth. He glared at the owner who grabbed his shoulder as he struggled with both of Charlie's hands trying to pull the glass away from his mouth. He elbowed the man behind him in the face and laughingly whispered in Charlie's ear. "This should speed it up a little."

Charlie choked it down, fighting the dual sensations of pleasurable heat and quaking pain. He swooned, watching as Jason was pulled away from him by the guy Jason had bowed moments ago. He reached out blindly for something to steady him, pulling at the collar of his shirt from the heat he felt coming from his chest. The room spun when he was turned and grabbed about the waist again as his legs threaten to fold beneath him. He looked up into a pale, handsome face shrouded by long auburn hair. The man's eyes seem to take in his flushed face, his half-open eyes and then think something over. He tried to speak as the man's face got closed to his own, keeping his nose at his mouth for a few seconds before he squeezed his butt, eliciting a moan from him at the intense pleasure of it. The man grinned.

"Here, have some of my drink, you look like you need it."

Charlie nodded numbly, shivering at the pleasure he felt from the man kneading his butt cheek but in his mind it wasn't registering where the man's hand was, only that it felt good. 'What the hell is wrong with me! I'm about to come in pants. SHIT!' His eyes widen once more as more alcohol burned its way down his throat. He reached up, with all the strength he could muster, and knocked it away. Noone seemed to care or notice. He sent a pleading look through half open eyes to the stranger who held him and then sent a sideways glance to where he thought he had last seen Jason. The man, who had light-colored eyes he thought were like his own, looked in that direction as well and made a face.

"It'll be all right." Charlie couldn't help himself as he relaxed to the man's kind tone. He involuntarily leaned into the gentle touch as the stranger smoothed the crease of worry from his brow with his fingers. He jerked in the man's arms, his face crashing into the broad planes of his chest as another panting, hard body collided with his back.

"I don't mind sharing." Charlie tried to curse but failed, seeing as how a groan that sounded more pleased than pissed came in its stead.On top of that, his heart was beating too fast and it felt like a strangled thing in his chest as he heard Jason's words replay in his ears. He shivered when he felt Jason's breath, then his tongue lapping at the alcohol that had pooled in the hollow between hisshoulder and collar bone. He gripped the front of the auburn haired man's silk shirt and gasped in pain as Jason twisted his nipple.

Charlie's scream was smothered by the stranger's lips when Jason bit down on his shoulder and dug his nails into his sides to keep him in place as he rocked against him. His head was swimming, the stranger was being so gentle and he realized with thrilled dismay that Jason would have been drilling him from behind if it wasn't for his jeans.

* * *

Solo thanked the barkeep as he grabbed the drinks and turned to find Charlie wasn't where he'd left him. He pushed through the dancing people looking for his wayward friend. He called his names a few times and got no response. He was nearing the back of the club where there was a second bar and a downstairs area when he glimpsed the tail end of a long braid. He blinked, seeing the tufted end disappearing through two pairs of dancers. 

"Duo?" He followed, thinking that there were probably other people who wore their hair long and in braids but because of the low lighting he couldn't be certain of the color.

He broke through the crowd toward the back of the club and stopped dead in his tracks. Charlie was.dancing with two men, one of which was the owner of the braid he saw earlier, if one could call that dancing. It looked like they were about to _do_ each other. He glanced around, feeling uncomfortable with the display before him. His brow twitched when he realized a lot of the paired dancers on the floor were doing the same thing to a slow, sensual sounding song called 'Lick'. He felt kind of disappointed. He really didn't know why but Charlie had brought him there. He couldn't help the glance he sent to the three and nearly dropped the drinks in his hands. He could see the face of the braided man, it was Quin and then the other guy arched backward with a laugh before burying his face to the side of Charlie's neck. That was Jason. He was moving before he could wonder why Quin was there when Charlie let out a strangled sob, his hand sluggishly reaching out.

Charlie shook his head against the black silk-covered chest and forced his eyes open to find Solo gone, the two drinks he was holding crushed beneath the feet of the crowd. 'Didn't he hear me call him! He left me...' He let his heavy head fall forward. It was getting harder to resist the drug as it worked through his body. He could hear himself chuckle but he couldn't tell if he was doing it out loud or if it was just in his head.

'You did want to forget all your problems with sex.' He told himself darkly, going limp between the two men. 'This is what I wanted.' He shivered as cool metal pressed against his back and warm lips teased the skin it exposed. He bit his lip when the fear of what was coming next was drowned out with excited anticipation.

He fought with the sensation, wanting the hurt and fear he felt that were his real emotions and not the drug induced ones. He groaned when those lips were gone and air touched his exposed skin. He struggled to glance behind him when he heard Jason let out a startled gasp. Solo was there. He watched as Solo yanked Jason off of him by the back of his shirt and blinked when Solo's fist connected with Jason's face.

Jason yelped when he was thrown to the floor. Too stunned to move, he lay there staring up at nothing. Quin watched in amusement and wished he had time to gloat but he had an angry Solo to tend to. Before Solo could deal any blows his way, Quin wrenched Charlie around. He smiled when Solo's movements were stilted with hesitation. He grabbed Charlie's chin and forced him to hold his head up, showing Solo his tear streaked face.

"Quin." Solo called out in warning. Quin smiled up at him and nuzzled Charlie's ear while looking Solo straight in the eyes. He had seen Charlie's miserable looking face and wondered if that was what he looked like three years ago when he had been _their_ party favorite.

Solo tried to keep anything other than anger from showing on his face when Charlie's expression became wanton, his gray eyes losing their pleading look for a moment as they rolled upward in pleasure. Solo had his hand extended but stood still glancing around the room, then narrowing his eyes at Quin. Charlie jerked in Quin's hands, his eyes becoming wide with pain as tears coursed down his face.

"Stop it." Solo gritted out, his ears twitching as he tracked Jason's movements even through the loud music.

"Why are you so sure he doesn't want what I'm giving him?"

"Because he doesn't." Solo smiled when Charlie jerked his chin out Quin's hands.

Quin gripped Charlie's chin again and turned his face so Solo could see the expressions that crossed it said nothing of dislike. "Does it look like he objects?"

"Give him to me. You did something to him to make him like that."

"Did I?" Quin tilted his head to the side in question and then pushed his finger into Charlie's mouth. He brushed his nose along the shell of one of Charlie's pierced ears and whispered, "Suck it."

Charlie shivered bitting the finger but quickly sucking it to stop the pain that shocked him when he tried to disobey. Quin licked his lips and looked back into concerned green eyes. "But giving him back to you means I won't have anyone to entertain me tonight. And-" Quin smirked, eying Solo thoughtfully before he continued, "who's to say that I want anyone else. He tastes really good actually."

Solo glared, hating his body for responding to how Quin was molesting his friend.

Quin smiled seductively, blinking when Solo's hand suddenly whipped out behind him and Jason went flying into the crowd with a pained grunt.

"Solo." The husky way Charlie called his name, brought his attention back to Quin who was now sitting on the barstool and holding Charlie astride one thigh by his hips as he bounced it between his legs. Charlie's head dropped back to Quin's shoulder, exposing the long line of his neck as he tried in vain to get free of the hands holding him. He closed his eyes in embarrassment as his body shivered and a moan broke free from his throat.

"Release him." Solo demanded, his hands fisted at his sides when Quin ran his tongue over an angry red mark on the side of Charlie's neck.

"Why would I do that?" Quin facial expression changed so completily that Solo felt he could believe the confused innocence there. "I like Charlie. He's as responsive as Jason said he was and you look like you like his responses too."

Solo dug his fingernails into his palms, his expression unfaltering at Quin's smug look.

"I'm sure Jason wouldn't mind if you kissed him. I think Charlie, here, would come in his pants, _again_, if you did." Quin chuckled at the moan he elicited from Charlie when he stopped bouncing his thigh and made Charlie rock his hips instead.

"What do you..."

"Want? Huh, I'm happy with what I have."

"Let him-"

"Go!" Quin shouted mockingly, cutting him off with a pleased smile. "No." Quin chuckled at Solo's irate look. His smiled smugly when Jason sat beside him nursing a dark bruise on the side of his face.

"You can take him from me anytime you want." He waited and then inclined his head in a small nod of approval when Solo didn't move. "A man who's aware of his surroundings, I like that. I'm sure poor Charlie here noticed it too when no one came to rescue him from his obvious distress." He ran his hand up under Charlie's shirt and then hugged him so tight that Charlie wheezed.

"If he'd stayed up front with all the good little boys and girls, you two probably wouldn't be in this situation." He smiled wolfishly and Solo couldn't stop himself from cringing.

Quin sighed, tiring of his little game when Solo again demanded he release his friend. "No... well if you take his place."

"Quin. What are you doing?" Quin shot Jason a heated look, rubbing his face in Charlie's hair before sending Jason a glare that said 'later' through narrowed eyes.

Jason shut his mouth, his jaw working as he dragged his eyes away from the arousing show Quin was putting on with his former boyfriend. He shifted in his seat, trying to ease his discomfort as he pressed a glass of ice against the side of his face. He stared at the mirror above the bar and imagined strangling the angry blond.

"Fine." Solo bit out.

Quin smirked and held his hands up and off to his sides.

Charlie gasped as the room shifted and he slid with a closed mouth groan off of Quin's thigh and onto weak knees. 'This is going to hurt.' He thought as he felt his body's downward motion before his knees gave out. He swallowed the stingy alcohol that bubbled up in his throat back down when his nose pressed into a cotton shirt and he could smell a smell that was uniquely Solo.

It was comforting. It was calming. It was making him sick. 'I hope Solo moves soon,' he hoped, feeling lightheaded, short of breath and slightly annoyed that he couldn't enjoy being next to Solo because he could smell too much.

Solo kneeled with Charlie half on his lap and half on the floor. Charlie shook in his arms as he tried to get him to respond to him. He tilted Charlie's head up, only to see him jerk his head away and back to his shoulder when the over head lights pulsed to the music in the background. Charlie's head lolled, his sweaty forehead coming to rest against the side of his neck as he stood with him leaning heavily on his side. He glared at Quin.

Quin shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. "Hey you said 'let him go'. You can leave him and let Jason-"

"No. I'll take him back to our friends."

Quin nodded his accent. He smiled at Solo's dismissive turn of his head and watched as he disappeared into the sea of bodies.

"Quin, you're seriously going to let him just walk off and take Charlie with him?"

"Jealous."

Jason's nose flared in anger. He shifted his gaze away from Quin's smug face, tapping the bar and shaking two fingers with a downward motion as he put the glass back to his face. Calm and more collected then he was a few moments earlier, he daringly reached out and took hold of Quin's braid. "Heh, you kept it long because it's his latest fetish, right... You know what the boss said. Charlie's our objective."

"You mean your _lover_'s our objective."

"That doesn't matter." He said stiffly.

"Right, that's why you gave him the booze."

He really hated that smug look but those eyes always made him linger, caught in their trap. He wound the braid around his hand and pulled. They both knew the alcohol would not only speed up the drug's effect but counter it, making it mostly insoluble to the body. Which meant Charlie would experience one hell of a hangover for a few days and be none the worser. He sighed, frustrated enough to try him and more than willing to play the little games he always did to get what he wanted.

He stroked his thumb over the woven hair, he was jealous ... jealous that only their boss touched or got to experience what everyone wanted. He stared into those hazel eyes set in an equally appealing face and felt his own breath hitch when the smug look turned sultry and those red lips parted just so. Jason let go of Quin's braid as if it stung him and turned to him fully in his seat. "He could just leave with Charlie."

"He'll be back."

"Good I expect something out this." He gestured at his bruised face and bleeding mouth. He pretended not to notice when the smug look slipped from Quin's face. He wasn't a complete idiot, he figured that Quin wouldn't want their boss to know of his little indulgence here tonight. He'd take what he could get and as far as he could push it.

Quin glared and Jason turned back to bar and took a sip from his drink with a satisfied smirk on his face.

* * *

Solo shouldered most of Charlie's weight but put an arm around his waist as they made their way through the crowd on the dance floor. He grunted in annoyance when people kept pushing into him and saw Charlie bit his lip to the point of bleeding to keep quiet. He slapped a girl and punched a guy who had pulled them apart. Fed up with the pretense of helping a friend find his feet, he hoisted Charlie up into his arms and bumped into Claire by the time he made it to their old booth. 

"Hey Solo. What happen to Charlie?"

"Oh hey Claire." He smiled, unlike his brother he had no problem with lying. "He finally got one of the waitresses to slip him a beer, but she gave him a lot more then he could handle."

She laughed and cooed. "Aww he got sloshed."

He smiled. "Yea, something like that. Listen could make sure he gets back all right, I gotta go find my keys. I dropped them back there somewhere." He waved his hand toward gyrating, grinding crowd before letting it flop to his side.

"Uh." She eyed Charlie and then watched his usually frowning face continue to hold a smile. 'This is the most I've ever heard him talk. And wait 'til I tell girls I saw him smile. Sweet! Maybe...' "Y'know I can help you look for them and get Nanaki to watch Charlie."

Solo really didn't want to go back there but he didn't want Charlie or any of his friends to be targeted. They were being watched. And even though things got weird over there, he knew Charlie could handle that. He didn't want him to have to experience what's it's like to be used like that. Charlie only knew the good things about his sexuality, he didn't need to know how bad it could be. He cringed internally at the flash of images that went through his head. Charlie slumped in his seat but Solo caught him before he slid down to floor beneath the booth, arranging his arms so his head rested on them. Besides, there were several questions he wanted answered, one of which was why Jason hooked up with Quin. Whatever happened he'd get some answers.

Claire watched curiously as Solo reached down and rubbed Charlie's head.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll be fine." He said with a smile that had her smiling back. He walked off without another word and she stared after him with a quizzical look on her face. She started to follow him when Nanaki caught her arm.

"Hey you said- oh what's wrong with Charlie?"

It was her turn to stop him from moving as she looped her arm around his and smiled. "Oh nothing to be concerned about, he got slipped a few too many drinks. Solo said he'd be back."

"'Kay."

She tugged him away from the bench when he started to sit. "Come on, I'm tired of standing around here lets go dance."

"But I thought you were waiting for Solo to-"

"There he is! See he's already back. Solo!" Nanaki saw her wave off to the left, getting a glance of a tall blond before Claire pulled him off in the opposite direction.

"But shouldn't we-" He started still not convinced that the person he glimpsed was their friend.

"Yea. Oh look there's Ab and Delphi!"

He reluctantly followed, sending an apologetic look at Charlie's slumped over figure at the table.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

He awoke to his head throbbing like it was swollen in a bandaged pulled really, really tight. He felt disorientated and sat up from the rounded bench seat he lay on. He braced his head in his hands as double vision forced his eyes closed to the flicker lights of the club. He looked at his watch and blanched. 'It was one in the fucking morning!' His mind screamed through his headache and he noted secondly that he had been sitting alone in the booth. He levered himself up, fighting his stomach's wish to expel all it contained on the floor before him. Once the room stopped spinning, he flushed in embarrassment when he realized what the sticky mess was that he felt in his pants. It was very uncomfortable but he decided he'd take care after he found Solo.

After ten minutes of pushing through the milling bodies, he had broken out into a sweat. Why couldn't he find Solo? Charlie knew Solo wouldn't leave him behind, and he began his search again.

"_ Push my fingers into my eyes...  
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache... "_

A new song started. He thought that it aptly described how the pain in his head and the nausea was making him feel, along with his frustration. His head was becoming heavy and uncertainty was slowly creeping up on him, until he came to a door in the hollow beside the bar in the back of the club. He smiled in relief when he saw a blond head emerging from the hall below. He blanked out for a few moments to find Solo pushing him up right and looping his arm around his waist as he took him back up the steps. 'I must have-' he let his head drop to Solo's shoulder unable to finish his thought, the throb in his head making him groan.

"God," he mumbled aloud, cursing himself for being an idiot as memory served him an eyeful of the shit that had happened earlier. A lot of it was questionable and his chest, more specifically, his heart hurt from the drug Jason had forced on him. He cradled his head at the memory of Solo hitting Jason at some point and he smiled. "The bastard deserved that and then some." He muttered to himself, gritting his teeth against the pain he felt from his Ex's betrayal.

He tried pulling away from but Solo only pressed his head back into the curve of his neck. He smiled sadly, grateful to have a friend like Solo. He looked up awkwardly to him, taking in his face in the dimly lit club. Solo had a faraway look in his eyes, his hair was tousled and he smelled of sweat and alcohol.

"_I have screamed until my veins collapsed  
I've waited 'till my time's elapsed  
Now, All I do is live with so much hate ..."_

Solo looked at him with a blank face, rigidly so with a brow arched in question as they stumbled toward the door. Charlie answered with a confused look, nodding his head at their limping movement, then wincing when Solo's response was to squeeze his elbow and made them to walk faster. The forced movement made Solo's limp more pronounced.

"_ ...And then I swear I'll go away  
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the pain"_

He didn't remember limping when he tried to find Solo. The up and down motion was too much for him and he pushed out of Solo's arms as they exited the club. He stumbled and fell, throwing up on the side of the building and partially into the alley.

"_ But it's made of all the thing I am today  
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside  
If the pain goes on,  
I'm not gonna make it!"_

Solo watched numbly. 'At least I can feel something,' he thought morosely. The things he had done back there... he had to admit he didn't have to do much of anything, just lie there and let Quin do what he wanted. He felt sick to his stomach as he lapsed into memory. He tried to reassure himself that it was all worth it to make sure his brother was safe; it was worth it because he got his friend out of a very dangerous situation. Yet doubt flared up in his mind and bringing with it morose thoughts. Solo made himself move, offering support by resting his hand on Charlie's back as he dry heaved.

Charlie wiped his mouth across his sleeve, his vision spun as he looked up to Solo. "So'?"

Solo just shook his head in response and helped his friend to stand. "Do you think... think that walking will be too much for you Chuck?"

"Mm... I d-dunno." After a hard swallow, he grimaced then continued, "Please, So', don't make fun of me, with the use of 'up-chuck' because I really did." Charlie said pitfully with his head bowed and his mouth pressed against the back of his sleeve.

In that moment, Solo thought Charlie actually looked his age if not younger. Solo rubbed his back and gave him a tight smile. "Don't worry about that, I feel the need to myself." 'I need to get away from here.' "We'll take a cab."

Solo helped his friend, trying to ignore the pain that shot through his backside as they limped toward a payphone.

tbc..

These are the songs at Quin's club (snickers)... bodies (drowning pool), 'temperature' (Sean Paul) fades to 'Can't Take me Down' (the Protoculture Mix) as low background music then 'Toma' (Pitbull), 'Lick' (Joi), and the song at the end of this chapter - 'Duality' (slipknot).

I had to share my love of music, didn't I?


	13. yellow shoes

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, shonen ai, angst, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: burgeoning 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, Solox?. . .

AN: Unbeta'ed full version.(smiles)

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

Twelve- yellow shoes

"Good Maxwell, your time's improved since last week."

"Thanks Coach!" Duo chirped with a wide smile. The pale haired Coach nodded, clearing his throat, he turned his attention to the rest of the track team. Coach or Zechs was what he preferred to be called. No one on the field called him Millardo. No one called him that in school really . . . well except for Relena and a few of the faculty. Duo remembered feeling slightly intimidated by the tall Prince, not because he was a real live freaking prince or the even more questionable fact that he was a track coach . . . a literature teacher, fence instructor and couch all rolled into one. It was hard to wrap one's mind around how a prince- noble by birth with enough power, money and overall physical beauty people literally killed for- preferred to be a high school teacher. Duo and Nanaki both had him for Art of Prose and Duo saw that those poached pieces of paper in his office (which he was becoming really familiar with because he was always late for that 9 a.m. class) were indeed as hard earned as the notarized seals proclaimed him of mastering.

On the first day, he was even more surprised at the end of practice when Zechs and Heero challenge each other. He remembered watching in awe at the fun their Coach and Heero were having as they raced the other, each bearing a thrilled, fierce expression on their face. He still wondered why Heero never participated in the meets, he was sure that Heero would have easily followed in Zechs' footsteps and became Darlian's next track star. But Heero didn't want to do so.

Duo glanced back at Heero who sat against the bench, diligently writing something on the clipboard braced against his knees and tattered yellow sneakers rooted firmly in the grass. He smiled at Heero, curious about those shoes as Zechs snuck a ruffle of Heero's thick, dark brown hair. He watched as Zechs gave Heero a look of 'what' and smirked at him when he glared death with the promise of severe pain before he met his maker or at least that's how Duo interpreted.

Duo smiled at them as he walked by even though they didn't notice him watching. His eyebrows furrowed at the odd feeling of resentment he felt toward the two. He sighed mentally, his smile never leaving his face as he caught up to Nanaki. 'Do older brothers act like that? Do I act like that?' He wondered, happy that Zechs wasn't as snobbish and self-absorbed as his sister or a certain blonde that thought the world was her chess board. He had a wistful look on his face as he thought of someone he used to know like.

---xXXx---

"You guys can't keep up with the newbie and you've been here how long?" Zechs inquired with a mildly irate tone.

"Aww Coach, give us a break." A willowy teen who went by the name McKenzie called out and a pudgy guy named Johann agreed with an audible satisfied breath after gulping down the water Heero had tossed him.

"All right, everyone except Duo and Nanaki do another lap."

Groans of discontentment came from six of the nine students that were still on the track course, while two walked away and the other plopped down on the sloped grass at the center of the course. Ice blue eyes glared at the boy's back as he continued to sit on his rump on the track while his teammates stretched in preparation for the next run.

"Johann!"

The pudgy boy started, peeking through the corner of his eyes to find Zechs' fierce eyes staring at him. He couldn't help his involuntary shiver he felt those light blue eyes. He entertained the thought of ditching, running right off the course to his dorm but immediately dismissed that thought, there was a reason why he was called the Lightning Count. He would have caught up to him in no time. Then he'd be stuck talking to the Bun lady from hell on rules of conduct.

'The fastest runner in all of Europe,' he remembered reading that headline in one of the newspaper clippings posted with Zechs' trophy for the cross country track meet he won three years back. He thought that it would have been fitting if they had also mentioned that Zechs had the looks of a Nordic god to match the speed he'd been gifted with. He huffed, it was going to be hard to get his teammate, Marsha Boadicea, to notice him if he had to compete with a god. He hopped up to his feet with a mumbled apology and stretched with his teammates, scooting just a little bit closer to Marsha.

---xXXx---

Zechs kept the reproachful look on his face until Johann was stretching on the track course. Zechs sighed, shaking his head and pulling his hair up into a pony tail. He did his best to keep his annoyance off his face as the elastic band snapped into place. 'Hot pink,' his eyes were closed and his hands were still poised over the elastic tie, Relena's elastic hair tie. He always forgot to bring some and his ever thoughtful sister made sure he never went without anything.

His hands dropped to his sides and he gave the 'snack' a sideways glance. Ever thoughtful, she had made him something to eat because she knew how he missed lunch between class and running out to meet his track team. _It_ was sitting innocently in a blue sandwich-sized bag on the bench behind him where he had instructed her to leave it. _It_ had his name on it so there was no hope that one his students would mistakenly pick it up and dispose of it for him. He was not fooled by the sandwich bag when it could be anything but what the bag was designed for.

He wondered if he could get Heero to test it before he touched. Heero had always had an indestructible stomach against her cooking. Maybe he could poke it with a stick just incase it was explosive. He paled when the thought of eating it came back to him. He was going to be forever traumatized by his sister's cooking and forever clueless as to why their parents had thought it a good idea to give Relena that baking set in the first place.

---xXXx---

Duo and Nanaki talked amicably before Duo darted away from his teammate at the sight of dark blond head of hair rounding the fence near the hill.

Solo waved to them from the somewhat shady spot he stood in, his thumb holding his place in the book he'd been reading before he saw his brother. He wore his uniform shirt open the first three buttons down revealing the wrinkled state of the white undershirt. His tie had been resting happily on his shoulder until he was felled by a glomping Duo.

"Duo!"

Nanaki came to their side with a laughing smile on his face. "No wonder why people think he's the youngest."

"You mean it's more than my shortness?"

"Duo, c'mon, I can't breathe!"

Duo laughed and squeezed his brother one more time before he released him with an exhausted huff. He dropped back onto the green carpeted earth and shifted across the ground until he could lie there spread eagle. He smiled goofily at nothing and no one as his eyes steadily drooped while he ran his fingers through the cool grass. 'I just need to rest my eyes.' He thought staring up at the tree leaves swaying in the breeze.

Solo brushed grass blades from his shirt and then smiled down at his brother who was already half asleep. He reached for his book, coming across more grass. He looked up to the shrub ensconced fence and the then at the large birch that seemed to have merged with it to find nothing indicating his book was among its limbs.

"Nanaki, did you see where my book went?"

"No." Nanaki walked around preparing to help in the search when Duo grumbled.

"Oh so that what that was . . . the not pillow." He lifted his backside and unsteadily held up Solo's book until his brother took it. Solo smirked as Nanaki sat on his knees next to them with a smile of his own.

"Duo, you're asleep already?"

Smacking his lips, Duo opened one sleep heavy eye and gave Nanaki a sleepy smile. "It's . . . Newton's first law: a moving body keeps moving until someone trips them up."

Nakaki gave Solo a confused look and Solo, in turn, gave him a knowing, half-smirk. He nodded to him to go along with it.

"Duo are you saying that you're the resting body or the book?" Nanaki asked with an amused quirk of his lips.

Solo snorted, laying on his side next to his brother who turned toward his shadow for shade. "Yea, he stops moving he's likely to fall asleep."

Nanaki chuckled. "Hmm than sleep's the external force? Kooky. I wonder if we can pass him off as a sleeping Buddha? Hm, Duo what's the meaning of life?" He asked jokingly, smiling at Solo.

"To exist and . . . lots of pepperoni on that pizza . . . Make sure you put extra sauce . . . on . . . Mmm." Both Nanaki and Solo laughed.

"There's your answer! The meaning of life is food." Solo said with a smirk. He glanced down at his brother's sleeping face and found himself agreeing with Nanaki's earlier comment. Duo did work too much, but he already knew since that was his habit back on L2. Just like their mother, he wanted to tell him to slow down but he didn't want him to find out what he was doing while he worked. He tucked defiant wisps of hair that never seemed to stay in Duo's braid, behind his brother's ear and smiled down at him when he mumbled a tired thanks.

'It's worth it.' He reminded himself, opening his book to figure out where he'd left off.

Not too far away, Heero watched the brothers laying in the tall hillside grass as he methodically tallied times and did comparisons of distances run this week versus the last. He absently noted Orin was limping, Johann was breathless after he pushed himself into a two minute sprint and Marsha had finished before the rest, stretching her long brown body. His eyes drifted to the three boys sitting in the grass. He stared at the two brothers unabashedly from the cover of Nanaki's back, jotting down a few of the suggestions Zechs rattled off to his students by their names. He found it interesting how Duo's pale skin contrasted with Solo's tanned. His eyes trailed over Duo's slender form drabbed in the same attire as the rest of the track team: gray, dark blue striped track shorts with a cursive "DI" just above the Adidas logo high up on the left thigh, topped off with a gray shirt saying 'Darlian Track and Field' across the image of a person running in dark blue script.

Somehow their track clothes, though unimpressive and not really interesting on anyone else, seemed scandalous on Duo. How they inched up his legs when shifted or clung to his body that time they got caught in the rain on route One. He swallowed at the odd emotion that prickled his senses, those track shorts on Duo gave him lots more skin to fantasize about and made him feel oddly possessive.

'Hm, long legs.' Heero's eyebrows creased when his thoughts continued to deviate from his task. He told himself that he had merely made an observation. The longness of Duo's legs was a factor in his improved times. He staunchly ignored the whispers in the back of his mind that said otherwise, asking him why he was trying to fool himself and daring him to find out if they were as hairless as they looked.

'Touch him.' His pen stopped in its downward stroke.

'Why lie to yourself?' The question came to him unbidden. He tapped the balled point of his pen on the empty space across from D. A. Maxwell, glaring when a large, long-fingered hand landed on his shoulder.

"Heero, where'd you go?" Zechs asked, squatting down beside Heero. He'd called Heero's name twice and got no response. He cocked a pale brow when the teen had initially twitched under his hand. It was the closest that he'd ever seen Heero come to being startled. That was saying a lot for his stoic cohort, he could already see it was quickly becoming annoyance as the teen's grip on the pen tighten and his green tank top-covered shoulders tensed under his touch.

Heero rolled his shoulders, dislodging the hand there before looking Zechs straight in his light blue eyes. Contrary to popular belief, they were the same cornflower tone as his sister's and only appearing darker in opposition to Zechs' white blonde hair. To Heero, they were the very same eyes absent of that infallible adoration and pedestal he was crucified on every time Relena looked at him.

'Always look your opponent in the eye.' His father's words never left him even after his death. They left no opening for failure, allowed little deterrence and demanded absolute obedience. Or at least that's what he had originally thought. Relena, apparently, was the exception. He couldn't look her straight in the eye without looking away, bereft of the fondness he had known growing up with her.

'If only she hadn't hit her head.' He thought regretfully, convinced she must have done so at some point while he'd visited home. It wasn't like she noticed that he looked at the side of her temple or her eyelashes when she carried on about her hair, a new dress or something as equally mundane.

Heero glared up into amused cornflower blues. Zechs was one of the few people who saw him for who he was, a boy with imperfections. Zechs had shown him that by defeating him on the track field, in the pool, and at Aikido. He was his rival through and through. If he had to put a qualifier on the relationship between them, he'd consider Zechs as a much despised older brother. "I'm fine."

Zechs shrugged letting his arm rest across his thigh and the other rest on the bench. "So says the lawn gnome formerly known as Heero."

Heero scowled at him, he really disliked his short jokes.

Zechs smirked, his concern starting to show on his face. "Just so you know it. I'm here."

Heero's eyebrow twitched, 'Was he serious?'

"Noin too."

Heero let a small frown show on his face when he saw the earnest look on Zechs'. 'He was serious.' "Did you hit your head too?"

Zechs arched both his eyebrows and laughed. "No." He snickered, familiar with Heero's theory that his sister had some sort of head trauma that made her act differently toward him. 'Crushes are interesting things.' "Though I do think we should have her looked at and banned from cooking. Cooking of any sort really."

Zechs smiled at the tiny twists at the corners of Heero's mouth. It wasn't often they could get Heero to show any expression that didn't make him wonder about his mental state. He could be solitary like that, two of Heero's friends shared similar dispositions but even Trowa smiled and laughed when he was around them. It seemed, though, that things were changing. He stood, a slight crease between his brows showing at the odd shifting of Heero's eyes before he flipped the sheet on the clipboard to look over his homework. It wasn't something that many people noticed Heero doing and the light color to Heero's cheeks told him that it wasn't something he was usually caught doing.

Zechs smiled mentally, schooling his features as he turned his back was to Heero so that it seemed like he was watching his students finish the final lap. He waited, watching out the corner of his eye, clapping and offering a few encouraging words on cue. 'There.' He followed Heero's line of sight to see what had caught Heero's attention so much so that he ignored his homework.

He blinked, a slow smile spreading across his face. 'This is bound to be interesting.'

He clapped his hands together twice as Marsha crossed the finish line. "Ok. That's it for today. You guys have twenty minutes free to do what you like, though I suggest that those of you who have Mr. Khushrenada tomorrow use this time to study." He smiled when the crows of glee became groans of suffering and despair because everyone except Heero and Duo had Trieze's class tomorrow.

Solo frowned when his brother stretched and Heero's eyes followed his every move under the guise of writing on his clipboard. He glowered at Heero.

Heero scribbled on his homework absently, a crease of irritation appearing on his face as he tossed an empty water bottle into the waste bin at end of the bench. He stopped writing and glanced around. It, whatever it was, was annoying. Something had been bothering him since he'd forced himself to stop his perusal of the brothers. With his eyebrows creased in consternation, he found the source. Solo was staring at him.

'Aa.' He couldn't help the smirk that snuck out at the corners of his mouth as he asked 'what?' without any verbal or physical movement. Solo's brow twitched and he ignored Heero's question and just stared back.

His irritation and curiosity mounted when the usual reaction to his intense eyes, the instinctive response to look away, didn't happen with Solo. When he thought about it, neither did Duo. He turned away from the icy green eyes fixed on him and handed Zechs the clipboard minus his homework.

Solo smirked at the irritation he caught flash across Heero's face. He liked aggravating the messy haired, older teen as much as he disliked him. He could imagine the annoyed grunt that came with that look but he was too far away to confirm it. It's not like he wanted Duo to end up near Yuy because he wanted to see how much he could push Heero before he started pushing back. Duo let guard down with him and somehow, he didn't know how or when it happen, Duo considered Yuy his friend. Better that Yuy blew up with him than with Duo.

"Hey, lets head over to the Forum for a quick game of pool?"

"Yea, that sounds like a great idea."

"Oh and then a burger at JR's?" Duo offered with a hopeful look.

Nanaki feigned a groan of disappointment. "Ah... Sleeping beauty wakes and my idea of marketing you as a Buddha goes down the drain when you stomach speaks for you."

Duo gave his snickering friend a befuddled look, then smiled with a faint blush to his cheeks. "Gee, it's getting so that I think everyone will remember me for my stomach alone." He petted his stomach as if comforting a small child. "Don't let them tease you because you're hungry. It's natural y'know because you're a stomach."

They laughed and decided that they'd study at Johnny Rockets. They grabbed their things and started off, Solo close to Duo's side. Solo smiled, blinking when Nanaki bumped his shoulder to find Duo gone.

"Hey, 'Ro!"

Heero had tossed the extra timer into his duffel when the long legged baka came to a stop next to him. 'Aa, another nickname already.' He thought, feeling the corners of his mouth twitching as he fought off the smile and spoke in his usual monotone. "Achi itte."

Duo blinked and scratched his head. 'Damn, he's talking to me in Japanese again. Ch! How do I know if he's cursing me out saying 'fuck off' if the only Japanese words I know are Kuso, Nani and Konnichi wa.' Duo said frustratingly to himself as he pouted.

"Aa... Go away, baka."

Duo smiled. 'Kay! So if I stand here long enough he'll translate.' Duo smiled as he patted Heero's shoulder companionably and leaned down, his braid slithering over his shoulder.

Heero watched it sway, dangling in his face, tempting him to grab it.

"Just wanted to invite you to a study slash food session with us." Duo smiled invitingly, leaning in closer when he saw the work for one of the equations for their Calculus class was wrong. 'Not so perfect...'

Heero's eyes widen slightly and found himself considering it, caught off guard by the simple invitation and Duo's open friendliness. He glanced behind Duo and saw Marsha and Johann joined the other two teens by the hill. Marsha waved him over, already aware of Duo's intentions. He was considering still when he caught the aborted movements of the blond teen. Solo was watching them intently, his contempt directed at him. Heero glared at him thinking about going in spite of Solo. He rose in one fluid motion, rolling his shoulder once then twice to no effect. Usually a person's hand dropped off another's shoulder when they stood up even Zechs got the point when he shucked his hand off. Heero frowned when the appendage's owner seemed oblivious to his lingering hand and continued to grin like an idiot at him.

"Ya know I could use help with Cal and since we both have Mr. Weaver we could help each other out in deciphering his hand writing on the study sheet." Duo smiled hopefully at Heero, ignoring the glare on his face.

Heero blinked at him, his irritation melting away at Duo's disarming smile. He wondered about his earlier ire and why he was still standing there with the braided baka's hand on his shoulder. He moved to knock Duo's hand off his shoulder but instead found his treacherous appendage resting over Duo's.

Duo's smile didn't change. He just removed his hand from Heero's shoulder and hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his shorts. He shrugged his shoulders and looked away, confused at why his hand still felt warm and why his heart sped up a beat. He smiled sheepishly at Heero. "Sorry about that. So, how 'bout it?" Covering up the slight tremor he felt in his voice with the shifting of his feet in the grass.

Heero glared into those blue-violet eyes, not really sure why he was still glaring. "Iie... No, I have things to do." He wasn't sure if he understood what was going on or why Duo seemed skittish all of a sudden. 'Did he expect people not to reciprocate the touch?' He thought, forgetting his own actions.

"Ok roomy. You're welcome to join us anytime." Duo said brightly, clapping him on the back of his shoulder before running off to the group waiting for him.

Heero watched him go out the corner of his eyes. He saw Solo smile at Duo and then sent him a barely coveted threat. Heero snorted, shouldering his duffel and making his way back to the dorms.

---xXXx---

Heero stretched, closing the book on his reading assignment and decided for Calculus a change of location was in order. He picked up the book, a large binder and scrounged around in his duffel for his homework sheet. He pursed his lips, pulling out his crinkled, wayward homework sheet with a mild look of disgust on his face. He was becoming messy. He stood and looked at the other side of the room with clothes books, papers laid haphazardly everywhere then back to his side of the room. Ordered, pristine and ... there was a manga on his bed. He picked it up, flipping through it and then stopped. He flipped to the cover and read the title, "Monster." He looked at the chaos that was his roommate's side of the room not sure where to put it. He stood there for a while and then called himself a baka for wasting time debating where to put it when he could just put it anywhere on Duo's side of the room. 'It's not like he'd notice.' He shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the door to their room, slipping the manga behind his Calculus book and headed for the stairs.

The hall was quiet but that was expected consider how let it was. His shoulders relaxed a little as he passed Sally's door, that also meant it was past someone's curfew. He smiled to himself, turning over his Calculus book and flipping through the manga for the page he'd skimmed earlier. He walked into their kitchen and inhaled the sweet, warm smell that permeated the small space from the pot on the stove.

'Baka.' He turned off the burner, Duo often left the burner or oven on for his late night snacks and burned them. But instead of throwing it away like any sensible person would he'd eat the part that was salvageable leaving the charcoal parts for the trash. Heero grimaced at the memory, still mildly curious about it because Duo wouldn't answer a direct question about why he wouldn't throw it all away.

He eyed the honey bear container on the counter and similarly tinted substance in the pot. 'It's soothing.' He remembered Duo saying at some point. He rarely drank the lactose laden substance and thought it probably did soothe a person by reminding them of prenatal days at the breast. He stepped into the lounge and Duo stood up in a tired stretch from the couch.

"Hey buddy." Duo called out to him cheerfully before a yawn overtook his face.

Heero stared attempted to leave but his feet wouldn't budge. He grimaced, wondering why this always seemed to happened around Duo. He sighed in resignation and took a seat on the couch Duo was occupying since Duo's things inhabited everywhere else.

"Last minute studying," Duo offered, gesturing to his opened notebook and Calculus book, written notes from labs and biology class strewn across the table, "couldn't be helped. Gahhh, 'Ro." Duo chucked the pen he was holding to the table as if it were the sole cause of his troubles.

Heero watched Duo curiously as the perpetually happy teen's smile slipped from his face.

"Couldya hit me if I mention studying and food in the same sentence. Shit, do it if I saw it in the same breath even."

Heero smirked, he figured that something like that must have happened for Duo to be so flustered. The interesting thing was that Duo didn't actually eat all that much. He made to get up, his usually blank face taking on a determined, slightly sinister look.

Duo's hands went up in defense, his mug gripped by the last two fingers on one hand. "Whoa there! You're looking a bit too eager."

'Well he did say it.' Heero mused, feeling at ease enough to simply be himself though he didn't recall ever trying be anything else but who he was. He sat back down, putting his binder on the table and leaving his book to rest in his lap. He cracked his knuckles as he surveyed the clutter on the table. 'At least it's all on one side.' Heero reached for a pen and cursed silently when his Calculus book from slipped and revealing the manga he'd acquired.

"Hey 'Ro you want some?" Duo jiggled his empty cup and Heero nodded tightly, stuffing the manga into the crease between the arm and couch pillow he sat on. Duo arched an eyebrow in question before going to the kitchen.

He glanced at the kitchen door and wondered if Duo if Duo thought his actions were strange. They were but he was curious why it mattered to him what Duo thought of him. He decided he'd leave it there if he couldn't sneak it back without getting caught. Duo left enough of his stuff around for that to be a distinct possibility.

They sat in companionable silence, each one doing his own thing with the TV's low hum filling the background. Heero had settled comfortably back in the couch, putting his socked feet up on the table as he went over the divided section in his binder labeled 'History notes' when there was a sudden pressure on his shoulder. He twitched, but it was a subdued reaction that came as more of an afterthought and found Duo fast asleep against his shoulder.

'Warm milk also puts you to sleep.' Heero concluded as his lips quirked in a small smile. He shifted his shoulder in an attempt to wake Duo but Duo just shifted right along with him, snuggling up to his side. Duo slept like the dead, and for good reason, the baka was working odd hours and didn't get nearly enough sleep.

'I hardly ever see . . . ' His eyebrows furrowing in thought. 'Why did it matter?' He asked himself as he watched Duo's sleeping face, he forgot about the question. He forgot about a lot of things and just sat there staring.

He was very attractive, even with the shadows under his dark lashed eyes. Duo took that moment to shift again, his head tilting back putting his cheek further up on Heero's shoulder as his chapped lips part and a breath escaped the inner confines of his mouth. Heero sat, unmoving, his binder lay open across his lap as he stared at Duo. He brought his hand up and stroked back the loose wisps of hair that framed Duo's face as if he were in a trance. He found his fingers lingering on Duo's cheek and trailing down his chin. He had this sudden urge to . . . he kissed him. It was a brief touch of his lips to those chapped, surprisingly soft ones.

He was tempted to do it again, feeling Duo's warm breath across his lips as he exhaled. He was already leaning in for another when he stopped abruptly. His long lashes sweeping up when Duo made a sound. His whole body tensed as Duo's lashes fluttered against his skin. Heero withdrew his hand in one jerky motion, surprised at himself and thinking about the last time he'd stolen a kiss. Duo sat up with a yawn as he rubbed sleepily at his eyes. Heero sat rigidly in place, his hand resting beside his thigh in a tight fist as his face remained completely expressionless.

"Sorry man." Heero watched Duo cautiously, hoping he wasn't aware of the liberties he'd taken. He was honest enough with himself to admit he didn't want Duo to be an enemy. "Damn, I didn't even know I fell asleep."

Heero relaxed and fiddled with his notebook. "Hn, baka you should just go to bed."

Duo gave him a lopsided grin, "If you help me with Calculus it's a deal."

Heero nodded, picking up his book and flipping to his rewritten problem set. 'Why did it matter?' He asked himself again, giving into the pleasing calm he got from huddling close to Duo even though he logically tried to explain it away as a necessary and involuntary action to going over specific examples in the book. He glanced out the corners of his eyes at Duo as he chewed on the end of his pencil. 'That eraser is going to be useless if he needs it.' His brow twitched in amusement as Duo realized what he was doing and groaned. He couldn't answer that question now but he knew the answer was there. He handed Duo the pencil he was using and received a thankful smile.

Tbc...

JR- Johnny Rockets


	14. forked brow snoop

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, shonen ai, angst, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: burgeoning 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, Solox?. . .

AN: Full chap.

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

Thirteen - forked brow snoop

It was still early. Early enough for the head of the household to be ensconced in confines of his room and late enough for Stuart to be outside cleaning the car in front of their one level estate. She slipped on her navy DI jacket, shouldering her school bag as she pressed her ear to the hard wood door of her bedroom. Like many of the doors in the estate it was made from genuine red oak that had survived the tests of time due to the care of their family through the years. She smirked at the ingrained history lesson that was supposed to teach her to respect her inheritance and school her on the importance of their family line.

'Doors,' she thought bitterly, 'There's more to my family than kindle for the hearth.' She let her fingers trail absently over the deep grooves and cuts she had carved into it over the years. She sat back, commending the refurbishers on their work. Though she wouldn't admit the strange welling of contentment she felt because the evidence of her _destructive _behavior was still present even though it couldn't be seen. She smiled to herself, her 'mark' could be found on many of these priceless heirlooms as well as the ones she had coaxed from Zechs and her cousin, Trieze. She put her ear back to the door and listened as feet shuffled quietly down the hall and purposely down the stairs to the laundry then up to the kitchen. She smiled knowing that the only other person up at this hour was Rosabella who didn't like being disturbed when she was preparing breakfast.

Dorothy was often curious about the things her Grandfather didn't include her in and would profess that she wouldn't be going to such an extent to find out her Grandfather's secrets if Stuart, an ancient man that had been at her Grandfather's side as far back as she could remember, would have just told her what she wanted to know. Unfortunately for her, his years of servitude not only reflected his devotion to her Grandfather but a tight lip loyalty that she chalked up to his stubbornness in concealing any information concerning her Grandfather's private business matters. So here she was, the gorgeous spy wannabe with her heart thumping excitedly in her ears. 'What's the worst that can happen?' Her Grandfather had always had a soft spot for her and if she could pull this off, 'what he didn't know won't hurt him.'

She smirked mischievously, slipping out of her room with her shoes in one hand and stopping to pull her pants legs up so they didn't drag beneath her feet as she went in the opposite direction of the kitchen, tiptoed passed her Grandfather's bedroom door and to his private study. His room was two doors down from the study and her own on the opposite side. She turned the antique, brass doorknob and pushed the rich oak door open. She glanced about, nervously when it creaked and hurried into the sunlit room, leaving the door open enough that she could see any movement in the hall.

She paused, as she always did and had seen many others do when they entered her Grandfather's study. The obtuse room was larger than her bedroom and had beautifully crafted oak, bay windows on both sides of the mostly glass patio door. She gazed at the classical wrought iron patio furniture on the deck and at the similarly styled railing that ended where the two short staircases curled at two meandering stone paths. Her eyes gave the path a cursory glance, her light blue eyes settling on what lay at the end of those paths - a small grove of trees, nestled at the back of the half acre estate. It was wild, overgrown and extended in a moderately expanding triangle over half the property.

She remembered exploring that place when her parents died. She remembered spending a lot of time around a moss and lichen covered water fountain that lay hidden in the center. She turned away from the balcony and to her Grandfather's desk, scrubbing at her eyes furiously as she scanned the papers on his desk and rummaged through its drawers. She didn't have time to reminisce. She always wondered why her Grandfather never had the gardener fix it up.

She closed one drawer with more force than she'd intended but it suitably expressed her frustrated state. None of the drawers contained anything really juicy and on top of that none of them were locked. That in itself made her suspicious enough to discount the thought that he had nothing to hide from her. She wouldn't believe that, not after that supposed dream she had a few months after her parents' deaths.

She started at the loud thud in the hall, reflexively ducking down under the desk to avoid being discovered. When the door to the study remained how she left it, she crept over and looked out into the hall. There was a huddled figure on the floor near her Grandfather's door. She watched the person shakily shift in place as a braid slithered across his back and to the floor.

'Duo?' it couldn't be anyone else. No one else wore their hair in an absurdly long braid. It didn't make sense to her as to why her classmate would be in her home. The more she thought about, she didn't like what his current state implied about her Grandfather either. She looked on curiously as his shaking hands worked to straighten his clothes and at the sound of his zipper, she strode out into the hall. Dorothy's stride became less confident and her annoyance waning/deteriorating at the pained groan that flitted to her ears.

"Duo!" Dorothy whispered tersely, the boy jerked at the name. 'I don't have time for this.' She thought considering how much of a practical joker Duo was and forgetting that Duo had never been over to her home before. She ignored the twinge of concern on the edges of her conscious when her classmate's shoulders shook with more force.

"Duo?" She drew closer, her hands resting on broad shoulders that shook beneath her fingers, shoulders too broad to be skinny Duo's. She stiffly withdrew her hands as the shoulders shook again and laughter wafted up to her ears. Her surprise was quickly replaced by her frown when bemused, hazel eyes blinked up at her.

"Is it really that unusual?" The man's voice, even though strained, was soft and mellow sounding. She stepped back as calmly as she could while tripping over her hastily discarded shoes. The light from the study filled the hall as she moved, her shadow shifting over the man resting by her Grandfather's door. In the light, she could see the differences now. This man's red braid stopped just past his shoulder blades, about a foot long. And the obvious difference that this man was not Duo Maxwell.

Dorothy watched curiously as he stood with his back to her and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. She missed his smile when he saw her move to the side, trying to see what it was he had.

She cleared her throat when he continued to just stand there and fidget with the paper in his hands. It was annoying and distracting, especially how he shifted awkwardly in his dark grey jeans and ruffled sleeveless hoodie. It told her that despite the fact that her Grandfather had tossed him out of his rooms like yesterday's trash and left a red mark- nothing like any hicky she'd seen- was currently hidden beneath his braid and hoodie, he hadn't seem hurt by it.

'He's too _old_ to have a young lover.' She scrutinized him and shivered at the thought of being with a shriveled old person. 'He's probably just in it for the money.' She wasn't going to accept it though; she didn't think Sanc had Host clubs. She ignored his question, "Why are you here?"

"Because I was _called_, must we do this?" He asked with a bored sigh, glancing at the door.

"Keep your voice down if you're so concerned about him hearing. Why were you called? It's too early in the morning for anyone to be pestering my Grandfather about anything work related." Dorothy glared crossing her arms over her stomach, a relaxed and familiar poise that never failed in helping her regain her composer, "unless you are a courier? Grandfather has requested them to come by for hand delivered messages before... Would that be one of them?" She gestured indifferently toward the waded paper in his hand. "If that is the case, he'll have your job for ruining the letter. If you'd just follow me, I can rewrite it-"

The man turned to face her fully, a quirk of a smile on his ashen face as he stared at her with his eyes half mast. "If only it had been you."

The deep sensual purr caught her off guard and she blushed despite the stern expression on her face as he ran his hand throw her blond hair. His predatory smile only heightened the sexual pretext he hinted at.

"Do you really believe that dribble you just spouted?" He pressed, his hazel eyes following the movement of her hand as she unconsciously flipped her hair back over her shoulders. His hand shot out without him having to think it and caught the stray lock that came back to rest on her shoulder before she could brush it back again.

Dorothy's brows furrowed at the possessive way he held her hair and scowled at him when he moved so that they were standing toe to toe. He was taller, but she kept her eyes leveled at his neck, she wouldn't look up to him if she didn't have to.

"I think you know why I'm here. I'm sure you don't want Granddaddy to know you were in his study." She stood still, her fingernails digging through the sleeves of her jacket as he took the lock he held and ran the tip of it over her periwinkle lips, leaning down close to her ear. "Why don't we go there?"

She arched a brow as he pointed his chin towards the study.

"I-"

"Please don't say something else idiotic." She cut him off annoyed at her own reaction even if he couldn't see it on her face. She hated men who seemed so cocksure of themselves. She caught the brief look of surprise that flitted over his face, "Not everyone will fall at your feet with a few suggestive words and threats. If you think that'll work every time, then you might as well dress up in a caveman costume, say 'Ugh ugh' and put on a show for me."

She commended herself for not flinching when he pulled on her hair and prepared for the scalp tearing pain that would follow once he used it against her, but that never came. Her hair was released and he laughed at her. She punched him in his side and he winced, leaning over where she had hit him and trying to hide that the pain was from more than her hit. She told herself she didn't regret that she'd done it and that he was a masochist so it was okay.

Quin's snickers trailed off into a smile, an easy going one that goaded her into relaxing. Her eyes tracked the movement of his tongue as its tip winked out between his rouge lips to touch his bottom lip then roll to touch the top. He licked his lips again, an unconscious movement she noted and he glanced at the door when they both heard movement. They stood still, waiting and her brows furrowed at the shuffle of her Grandfather's usually light tread on his carpeted floor and Quin's half smirk.

She gave Quin a sidelong glance, somehow this man knew more than her and it hurt that her Grandfather couldn't trust her with it. Her eyes flitted to his lips once more as that pink muscle made an appearance again. It was a distracting thing he did and she wondered if he was thirsty or if giving him some of her lip balm would make him stop. She glared at the devilish pink tongue as it peeked out at her and wondered if he was nervous.

"Hey Chick," Dorothy saw his lips form the words and heard the half laugh in his whisper when she realized she'd been caught ogling his mouth.

"It's not what you think." She defended against his smug look. 'I'm not blushing' she denied, refusing to acknowledge the telltale sensation of blood rushing to her face.

Quin smirked at her contemplative scowl even as her nose tilted upward. "Listen," his tongue peeked out again as he straighten, his arm dropping from its protect curl about his stomach.

"Stop doing that." She whispered brusquely.

He smiled; his smiles were becoming more compelling as she felt her own lips twitching in halted response. "If you want to know what Granddaddy hides away in his rooms," he glanced at her Grandfather's door, steadily backing her across the hall. "Then go there," he tore the paper he had clutched in his hand and shoved it in hers.

"Wha-" Her eyes grew large when he kissed her and her limbs flailed for purchase in the sudden open space of her room. "Shit." She sat up from her bedroom's uncarpeted, hardwood floor and wished she had accepted her Grandfather's offer of having it carpeted. She started at her shoes abrupt appearance in front of her face, her breath escaping when Quin dropped them on her stomach and hurried out her door. She glared at the smiling red head that reappeared in the crack of her door seconds later, staring at her as she remained in an undignified heap on her floor.

"Not bad for our first kiss, see you in ten minutes."

"You're not lucky enough for a second!" Her door closed as her shoe hit it instead of her intended target. She sat up, rubbing her abused elbows before her eyes landed on the crumpled piece of paper he had given her.

He's one.

head PEC.

She threw the paper away and hopped on one foot as she put on her other shoe. She couldn't figure out who the note was talking about but it was going to go down at her school. She ran out into to the hall, the study was closed and her Grandfather sat in a large fuzzy robe talking with Rosabella when she entered the kitchen. He looked so smushy and humble with his slightly rosy cheeks that she doubted what she had seen, who she had met outside his door earlier.

"Dorothy." He smiled, aged light blue eyes looking into the reflection of his youth as he scratched his scruffy white beard. Dorothy smiled back, kissing his cheek before scooping up some of the eggs from his plate and swallowing them, chugging down half his juice and grabbing a piece of toast from the plate on the table.

"Miss Dorothy!" Rosabella gaped and Duke chuckled as his Granddaughter darted away. "Sir, I'll prepare you another plate. Miss Dorothy! Where are your manners? Come sit-"

"Morning, I have to go in early today!" She cut in, waving away Rosabella's concern, there was no point in giving them reason to worry by not acting like her normal self. Besides she didn't know if he was telling the truth. She didn't even know his name, not that she was interested.

"It's alright, Rosabella." Duke said laughingly, taking the plate away from the thirty something cook who did more for the house then her title suggested. "Tell Stuart, I won't be going out today." He called out as Dorothy rounded the corner.

"I'm taking my bike!" She slammed the door before she could hear his protest. The school had been on her case about her driving her motorcycle to school. She shrugged her shoulders, her Grandfather would just have to deal with a little harassment from them.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

With a yawn that threatened to capsize his face, Quatre emerged from the back door, closing it slowly because the door slammed whenever you let go of it and he didn't want to startle anyone out of their sleep. _Fear_. He glanced up at a squirrel as it peered down at him with huge eyes. He gave it a sleepy smirk and chatised himself, he may have been out of it but he couldn't go walking around leaving himself open. As quick as he lowered one pale lash, he was alone with his own emotions. It was iffy whether that was a good thing or not. He ascended the stairs as the squirrel scampered up a nearby tree and to relative safety.

'I wonder if he's up?' He stretched, looking down at the partially open second window from the door he'd just exited. He sighed, he didn't have time, he had to go to work. The thought thrilled him, he had a job! He smiled, elated as he checked his tote bag one more time to be certain he had everything he needed. His friends had offered their support, he smiled as he remembered the two grunts, a nod, a pat on the shoulder, a kiss (though not from who he secretly wanted it from) and two exuberant hugs that the news had incited from them.

Quatre lost himself for a moment as he passed the backs of the other dorms, walked beneath the large trees and passed the peaceful suburban neighborhood that was on the other side of the street. He liked walking out on the sidewalk better because on the Foyer it seemed like you were in another world and disconnected from the reality of life outside of school. He studied the worn and leaf stained sidewalk beneath his black shoed feet, deciding he'd let his friends' support carry him through the three hours he had to work as monitor in the PEC and shut out the hurtful words from his father when he found out. His smile became tremulous, why was it that he was able to put his own pains aside when he was alone in his room while he couldn't push them aside he walked alone?

'You're doing what? You gave up your position as vice president, for _what_? You can't put that on a resume! I'm not paying them to pay _you_ to do something as menial as cleaning up after your underclassmen's recreational activities or to _sit_ and watch them. They have other people who are trained to take care of that sort of thing. If you want to give up your position you need to do better than that. That's why you're there, I don't want to hear about it anymore and my answer is final.'

He squeezed his eyes against the prickling feeling that always happened before the tears fell. 'Did he even hear my reasons? I don't want to be babied all my life.' He blinked furiously at the moisture welling against his lashes. He thought that any parent would be happy that their child was trying to work for himself, and the job wasn't _menial_, it was something he wanted to do and the only thing he could get on such short notice with Zechs' help. Even Zechs had said it was odd that it was so hard for him to find any work on campus. It wasn't though, not if his father had been involved. Well if Zechs couldn't withstand his father's will then he'd be going to the dinning hall next. He rubbed at his eyes, 'I'm such a cry-'

Quatre gasped and groaned, suddenly upside down and inside the brush that suddenly appeared in his path. Quatre sat up wincing as the branches scrapped across his bare arms. Pouting, he began removing the leaves and thorny shoots from his hair and clothes as he glared at the bushes. He knew he was being a bit impractical and that the bushes had been in the same spot they had always been since he started attending Darlian. He found his tote bag at the bottom of the bushes prickly depths and struggled to free it from its branchy captor.

"There you go." The laughing voice surprised him but before he could figure out what he'd meant, his tote bag was flying over his head and taking him along with it. He realized then that the person had moved the branch that had been holding his tote bag as he staggered awkwardly backwards from the force of his pull toward the street where traffic still sluggishly rolled by. He gasped, trying to somehow swing himself in the opposite direction but knew it was much too late when he heard the blaring horns and screech of tires as one of the drivers, who had taken advantage of the somewhat open street and sped up, tried to avoid hitting him.

Then there was nothing. He could hear his own breaths and then his heart. No it was someone else's heart, beating frantically. Aquamarine eyes blinked open as he sat up and met laughing hazel eyes.

"You ok short stuff? Don't go into to shock over something so small." The man in the hoodie ruffled his hair and offered him a kind smile even though his hand lingered against the side of his face.

The touch tingled oddly against his skin and in a span of three heart beats, Quatre looked away, and scrambled back off his rescuer. "S-sorry for disturbing your jog," Quatre said quickly, standing and extending his hand to the man still sitting on the ground.

Quin glanced over his jeans and hoodie, smiling that he lucked out in his lack of choice in clothes yesturday. "Nothing doing," he took the offered hand and stood, not letting go and offering a smile of his own that paled in comparison to Quatre's.

Quatre started when the man before him moved closer to him and swiped at the other side of his face. 'I could have died.' He didn't move away from the touch, too stunned by his own realization to notice the man's hand was lingering there. He flushed glancing to his left and thus leaning away from the hand on the side of his face to see the PEC. 'Two minutes away,' he just wanted to forget what had almost happen. He considered thanking the man and ditching him before he embarrassed himself further. Quatre flinched when the hand gripped his chin and turned his face back to the man standing in front of him.

"Hey, you ok?" Quatre heard the breathy words as the man's breath hitched when he looked into his eyes again. Why couldn't he move? Those friendly hazel eyes that had smiled at him moments ago were a myriad of emotion that grabbed at him and made Quatre's mouth fall open.

_sadness/pain/pain/sadness/pain/curiousity/hurt/joy/pain/sadness_

Quin remembered, a boy from years back whose eyes would have been just as expressive as the ones before him if not for his addiction. He forgot what he had come to do as a warm stream of tears ran over his fingers from the boy's wide eyes. 'The same color... teal?" He drew Quatre's face closer to his, 'no darker.' He remembered how that boy had died, how the frantic beating of his heart sounded. Could he do this? This boy wasn't just anyone he was someone important to his... to Duo and Solo, but if he didn't...

"Quatre!"

Quin canted his head to the side when Quatre was suddenly yanked away from him and watched as the small blonde stumbled backwards into Dorothy's side, holding the side of his head. Quin caught a nasty glare from the girl when he smiled at her in welcome. Dorothy ignored him in favor of her classmate.

Quin shook his head, noticing the wet tracks on the sides of the boy's face, 'He cried for me?' He shook his head, 'That couldn't be it.' He smiled to himself, figuring that the boy must've realized just how close he had come to being roadkill.

"Thank you for helping him, he's hopelessly clumsy when he's not thinking about where he's going." She said tightly to the red head in front of them, catching how pale Quatre looked and snatched his bag away from Quin when he attempted to touch him. She gave him another tight smile, she had seen Quatre almost get hit by a car and how the man had saved him though she didn't think she could say thank you again but she'd get Quatre later. What she really wanted was for Quin to leave. She wasn't the least bit interested in involving the petite blond in whatever game the man was playing at.

"Oh, nothing doing. Quatre, if you ever need help with anything, and you happen to see me, don't hesitate to ask. I _jog_ through here often around this time of morning."

"_Right_. I'm sure he won't." She smiled too big for her to even think she looked sincere. She kept a hand on Quatre's shoulder, though not easily baited into arguments with her he surely would have responded to the insult she made about his intelligence.

Quin grabbed Quatre's hand and the still stunned blond shivered, shaking his hand with a small smile. "Sure," he aptly agreed, his smile growing on his cherubic face. Quin felt at a loss as to how to deal with this type of person. It was unsettling how someone who didn't know him could so openly comfort him... accept him.

"Maybe I can run with you sometime." Quatre offered, his color coming back as he released his hand.

Quin was relieved, the boy did look like he was going through some sort of shock and those bright eyes pulled at him... making him want to see that spark die like he had seen in so many others. He could feel his hands begin to shake, 'how long had it been?' His hands searched the cottony depths of his hoodie pockets as he kept an amicable smile on his face. His tongue peeked out at the corner of his mouth and then ran over his teeth where he bit it when his hand found the glass vial meant for Quatre in his pocket. "Yea, let's hope it'll be much later."

Quatre started to ask him why, stepping toward him when he stopped. He glanced back at Dorothy who had a firm grip on his shoulder.

Quin nodded to Dorothy as Quatre winced. 'Curiosity, the kid killer,' he wanted to laugh but it would have sounded psychotic. 'Might as well play the part,' he started up a jog, it would cover the trembling in his arms. He caught his hands when they started to dig at his arms and passed it off as an easy shrug and then a shuck of his shoulders as if he were working the kinks out of his shoulders. He could see the petite blonde's apology on his face before he uttered the words.

"I'm sorry it's my fault for any-"

"No no, it was my good deed for the day." Dorothy glared and Quin just smiled. "Good luck with school. Later Chick, take care of your boyfriend." He almost laughed at Quatre's confused puppy look and Dorothy's blush. He gripped the vial as he left the two teens; he was surprised that he actually meant it.

'His girlfriend?' She huffed and her hand twitched against Quatre's shoulder. 'Whatever. That jerk, what could Quatre possibly have to do with Grandfather? Chick... I hate that name.' Dorothy grumbled mentally, glaring at the hooded red head's retreating back.

Quatre waved and cautiously put his hand over Dorothy's, in an attempt to ease her grip on him. It felt like she was going to rip his shoulder off. "Dorothy?"

"Hm?"

"My shoulder."

With a harrumph she left go, pushing at him until he started walking. "You're naive and too innocent for your own good. Maybe I can get Trowa to try bondage..."

Quatre stumbled, still rubbing his abused shoulder, to turn wide aquamarine eyes to his classmate, "What?"

"Nothing," she said with a fleeting smile at his pouty expression, he always stopped what he was doing no matter what it was when Trowa's name was brought up. She wondered if he'd be this naive if she had been his sister.

Quatre shook his head, glancing back at the strange man. He was confused by what had happen and Dorothy's odd behavior. He blinked at the irate blonde walking beside him, wondering when Dorothy had come into all this. He studied her face. There was nothing hinting at any ulterior motives. She was dressed as she always dressed, standard issue school uniform pants and shirt that spoke little of her feminine curves. Though she made it one of her pass times to bully him, he had always felt comfortable around her. He shrugged as she walked beside him all the way to the PEC, he guessed this was just one of those times she could be nice. He was glad for the company; he really didn't want to think about his father or what had almost happened.

Dorothy reached over and ruffled Quatre's hair before pushing down on his head and nearly making him trip. "Don't think so hard or you'll end up walking into a wall." She shouted as she ducked into the safety of the women's locker room.

"Uh, ow." Quatre rubbed his head, pouting alone in the empty hallway. He turned away from the women's locker room door and blinked owlishly at the column in front of him as he readjusted his tote bag on his shoulder before taking the stairs to meet with Zechs to find out his post.

tbc...


	15. that's how it is

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, shonen ai, angst, angry Relena, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: burgeoning 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, Solox?. . .

AN: Moving sucks ya know...

feedback is appreciated

---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change

Denial

by priscel

Fourteen- that's how it is

It was the fourth week into the semester, he and his partner stayed after school to finish their art project for Mr. Cadmis' class. He rested his head against the cool metal of his locker as he tried to figure out if he needed to start on another assignment. Unfortunately for him, all he could think of was going to bed. He pulled on his jacket and headed purposely toward the door when he realized just how light he was. He groaned, his hand coming up to rub his face, he had locked his book bag in his locker. He sent one last beseeching look to exit doors and headed back to his locker. He slowed his half run when he spotted his partner reading the numbers on the lockers and stopping in front of his with a decidedly malicious look on her lovely face.

"Hey Rel, 'Sup?" Duo smiled at his startled partner who was looking guilty and skittish.

"Duo, I thought you were already headed back home." She said cordially, glancing back at the locker. 'Drat!' She was so close to discovering the identity of the girl who she'd spotted with Heero. Dorothy had been teasing her mercilessly saying that she was becoming fixated with finding this mysterious girl who had stolen her Heero away. On several occasions, Dorothy had asked her to give her a description: a slender girl with pale skin, long brown hair that shone amber in the light and oddly colored eyes. She had flushed in confusion every time Dorothy would just laugh at her. Her friend obviously knew the girl or knew of her whereabouts, but she wouldn't tell her anything and she wasn't about to fling unfounded accusations at a friend. Though she'd begun to doubt it was just teasing. Today, though, Dorothy took pity on her and gave her a locker number during lunch with an odd calculating look.

Now, here she stood, so close to getting the answer she needed and all she had to do was get into that locker. She was sure there would be something within it that had the girl's name on it, but an obstacle happened by- one by the name of Duo Maxwell. His shirt was half untucked with the first three buttons undone, revealing the thin undershirt he wore beneath it. She smiled, switching her train of thought away from her disappointment when she saw the undershirt and stopping herself from wondering why he started wearing one.

"I left my back pack behind." Duo shrugged one shoulder not missing Relena looking nervously at the lockers again. Duo sighed when he realized that she wasn't going to be moving anytime soon. "I thought you were going to hang with Dotty today? Do you need my help with something?" He offered, giving himself kudos for keeping the irritation out of his voice. He was sure if there was anything that resembled a bed nearby he'd pass out on it before he could even think the word sleep, 'Shit it's been a long day.'

"Dorothy? Oh, well she had other matters to attend to. I was just waiting for someone." She thought up quickly, well aware that Duo knew that her locker was on the other end of the hall.

"Ok." He said unnecessarily as he made a move toward his locker, but she wouldn't budge.

He arched an eyebrow in thought as he looked her over again; it was more like she was hovering... too much like what she did when she was around Heero and only when he was in the immediate vicinity. Duo tensed thinking about what this meant since her great expectation wasn't actually there.

'Not me, she couldn't,' he glanced at her then his locker, keeping his face carefully blank before it split into a relieved smile. He'd forgotten that the locker next to his was Heero's, though he seldom saw his roommate at his locker. 'I wonder why,' Duo mused, stepping closer to his locker until he was practically standing nose to forehead with her.

"Sorry," she mumbled moving out of the way, forgetting that there was a locker beneath her target.

Duo suppressed a sigh and shook his head, "Rel-girl you're getting creepy on me."

"Sorry," she mumbled again, "I guess I should have gone to sleep rather then working those extra hours on the assignment." She rattled off, fighting back a yawn that broke through her anxiousness and revealed the truth in her excuse.

"Well, I think it was worth it." Duo smiled and she smiled in turn, Duo was one of those people whose praise she didn't receive often. It lacked the obligatory approval corded by her wealth and position. Duo's praise was wholly honest and she blushed upon realizing this. "Thank you" she mumbled, her fingers fidgetting along the edges of her school jacket and her lips twitching into a coquettish smile as she stilled her hands. When did she ever fidget?

Duo noticed a small envelope in her hand, "If you want to give Heero that note, I can take it and leave it on his desk." Duo offered, smirking at the girl's flushed face.

"Oh, why thank you Duo." Relena said, her cornflower blues meeting his blue-violets as she clenched the note. Her back up plan had been to leave the note if she couldn't get into the locker and request the girl to meet with her after school tomorrow. Though she hadn't considered sending a note for Heero by one of his friends, "I'll remember that, but I think I'd prefer to slide this one into his locker." She moved aside, glancing up to see Duo focused on the lockers in front of him. She closed her eyes and sighed quietly to herself, thankful of the privacy he granted her.

Duo opened his locker, not wanting address the strange contemptuous heat he suddenly felt in his chest at the way Relena reverently touched Heero's locker. He shook it off, pulling out his book bag and closing it to jerk back a step in surprise at a wide eyed and pale faced Relena gawking back at him as if the world had ended.

"Rel?" Duo called to her gently, snapping his fingers in front of her face when the dumbfounded expression took its place.

"Hey, Rel? What's the matter?" Duo asked again, reaching out to touch her shoulder only to arch a brow when she shifted away from it.

"That's your locker?" she stammered out.

Duo glanced back at it and then back to Relena's startled expression. "Yea, why?"

"Did you switch with someone?" she asked with an incredulous expression on her face, her mind going around in circles as to what this meant.

Duo's eyebrows bunched in confusion.

"Did you switch with someone?" she demanded, her voice firming and her chest heaving with each inhalation.

Duo looked at her curiously, she reminded him of a chicken with ruffled feathers when she did that. "No Rel," though he was smiling at the thought, his voice didn't stop his concern from being heard. "What's the matter?"

"N-nothing."

"Rel?" She never stuttered. Duo stepped forward reaching out to her only to be halted by her raised hand.

Relena felt numb inside, an acerbic laugh escaping the half smile she tried to pull over her shock. "I should have known..." she swallowed a sob when she realized what Dorothy knew all along. What everyone else must have known; everyone but her.

Duo's ears twitched, attempting to catch her whispered words. Relena's head remained bowed as her shoulders shook. Something was definitely wrong, "Rel talk to me." She just shook her head not making a sound. He bit his lip in frustration when she moved away from him as he reached for her again. "Relena what's the matter?"

"You're the girl."

Duo chuckled. "Dang Rel, do we need to get your eyes checked? I'm not a girl."

"Obviously not!" She said hotly with a sharp humorless laugh. She knew she had lost all composure. She couldn't follow decorum or use practiced negotiation tactics, she could give a flying fuck about civility. She chuckled mentally at the little verbal reminder of Duo. It hurt beyond words to find out that the person she had almost considered a friend was the one who had stolen her Heero. Anger bubbled into the pain as she raised her head and set accusing cornflower blues on Duo. An errant tear streamed down one pale cheek then another followed on the other side of her face. "I should have known there was something more than friendship between you two."

Duo's clueless look at her insinuation only made her anger flare. "Don't play the innocent with me. You could have just told me it was you, instead of letting me talk to you about Heero when all along you were with him-"

He held up his hands in a placating gesture, "Whoa! Wait a minute, Rel-"

"... Behind my back, when I confided _in_ you! And you _mock_ me by offering to take something to him _for_ me?! _For_ me, really _Max_well you needn't play me the fool, you already have _him_! To think I trusted you!" She sneered at him and laughed darkly. "L2... You disgusting thing, using your body-"

"Shut it, Rel! " Duo kept his fisted hands at his sides, he wouldn't let her goad him into slapping the shit out of her. She was upset, very much so. So was he, but he wouldn't let that rule his actions. He had been expecting L2's reputation to come up at some point but never from someone close to him. "Damn it Rel, can you let me get a freakin' word in-"

"You made a joke of me in front of everyone. Every_one_." She sobbed out. "You lied to _me_. To. My. Face."

"I. Don't. _Lie_. I didn't lie to you about whatever the hell it is you're going off on me about. I sure as hell didn't rub your face in it." Duo simmered, trying to defuse her anger but not being able to get in more than a few words in his defense across to her. "Relena," the warning was clear in his tone, he didn't know what he would do if she called him the word she'd left out when she spoke of L2 with such venom.

"You LIAR!" She screamed at him and Duo grabbed her. She sobbed, not putting up any resistance and flinched when she was yanked forward.

Duo pulled her into a hug, feeling too exhausted to do much else and not wanting to get into a shouting match with Miss Pacifist. He was glad there was no one else around, an audience would have only made things worse and made it incredibly hard to talk about anything without Relena losing face. "Will ya hear me out?"

A loud sniff was his answer and he grimaced at the warm, wetness seeping through his white uniform shirt. "You know that you're going to have to pay for that."

Relena, mortified by her nose dribble, shifted in his arms and tried to wipe it off his shirt with her handkerchief. "Liar," she muttered with a pitiful sniffle.

Duo sighed, his breath a warm puff against her skin. "Rel, I don't lie. Never have, never will. Well not intentionally. Look Rel, this has nothing to do with me being from L2, its reputation isn't reflected in everyone that lives there. Think about Hilde and your posse already knows about Solo. Rel, there are really good people that live in my sector and I won't have you slander them for the sake of your anger and pain."

She hadn't done that had she? She raised her head from his shoulder to speak but Duo cut her off, "That's not the Relena I've gotten to know since I've been here, though you have your ahem... _quirks_ like everyone else, you don't make it a point to hurt people just because you're upset or because you can. Heero's my best bud. Take my word for it when I say that besides sharing the same room and pissing each other off on occasions, well a lot really, there is no me and Heero."

Relena snorted and ducked her head.

Duo grimaced again, looking a little green, "Oh now it has a twin!"

Relena hit him in the chest.

"Shit, hell must have frozen over when you hit me y'know." Duo's laugh came out as a breathy ouch when a second hit followed, "What?" Duo rubbed his chest with a pout and half smirk, "Y'know, if you smear that one a little more they can be identical loogies-ow ok."

"..." She pinched him and glared at him, a handful of his shirt pressed against her nose.

"Oh don't start impersonating Heero." Duo smirked, rubbing at his lower back where Relena's arm was still looped loosely behind him. He smiled at the giggle Relena smothered, though he had a feeling this was far from over.

"Is he..." she started, muffled behind the wad of shirt in her hand.

"I won't answer that for him. You should try talking to him, yelling at him like you do me and stop trying to make him what he's not." Relena blushed, doubtful that the reason for it would be easily readable from the rest of her flushed face. She shifted her face to a relatively dry place near his shoulder, the two inch difference between them was more noticeable to her now that the tears had stopped but damn her nose. She hugged him with both arms and felt pleased that he hugged her back. She wasn't taking liberties, she sniffled again and Duo shifted beneath her.

"Don't worry if you need another dry spot, we still have the back left." She felt the beginnings of a smile on her lips, she half believed him.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

Another day of classes over, but no work today. "Besides the academic kind," Duo grumbled quietly as he walked into his shared room to find Heero studiously working on a paper, with several books opened and highlighted about his laptop.

"Hey Roomy. Whatcha been up to?" Duo asked, trying to distract himself from thinking about the things Relena had said at his locker the other day. In class today, she hadn't mentioned it again but she gave him a thoughtful smile when he had took his place beside her.

Unfortunately for him, Heero wasn't in a talkative mood. Duo snorted to himself, tossing his book bag on the bed and pulling out his reading assignment along with a manga. 'Heero? Talkative? That just doesn't go together.' He sighed, 'Maybe I am the baka he's always telling me I am.' He mused, thinking about how close he and Heero had become despite Heero's earlier actions and his one to three word answers. He snickered to himself, he got lengthier responses from Heero when he teased him or gave him pet names.

He couldn't help his curiosity and he couldn't stand the quiet. He wanted to know more about his roommate and often found himself talking, if not about what went on during the day that he thought was of interest to share, then of his family, friends, the church and Solo. He didn't reveal any of the deep stuff. 'Just enough,' he always thought in hopes of Heero opening up and sharing something about his own family. No such luck in that regard. He did learn that Heero didn't seem to mind his music as much as Wu Fei as long as it was played within 'acceptable levels' while he was in the room.

'I wish he wouldn't talk like a damned machine.' Duo groused with a slight frown as he placed his book on his desk and opened the manga he had stashed inside.

He skimmed the pages, coming across the use of '-chan' and the annoyance reflected by one of the characters. He smiled, filing the Japanese honorific away for future use and thought about his project with Relena. The girl wasn't all that bad once you got to know her. He decided, while covered in Relena goo, that he would try to help her. He wasn't trying to prove to her that there was nothing between him and Heero except friendship, though that would get the banshee off his back. She was a somewhat narrow minded girl. He knew it. Heero knew it and so did their friends. But he was convinced that if he could show Heero the side of Relena he was used to seeing, maybe Heero would see past her infatuation with him. It was odd, he was sure that Heero would know this considering how Quatre had hinted that the two had grown up together. He shrugged and decided to give his improvised plan a try.

'Matchmaker Duo at your service.' He snickered mentally, imagining himself bowing with flourish and a top hat in hand.

"Oi, Hee-man," Heero raised a brow at the new moniker, typing in the 'save' command on his report before he began proofing it.

Duo smiled, undaunted by Heero's lack of verbal response but the slight twitch at the manipulation of his name, told him he was listening. "I guess you had a good day today. Me too, but Mr. Cadmis... the guy has issues I tell ya. Here's the skinny... The assignment he gave us he called 'shades of expression' and lucky me, I got partnered with the pink beast." Duo smirked at the nickname afforded to Relena by Hilde when she had a study session with her in her dorm room.

"Well together we decided to pick a color and use all the possible shades we could get from it for this assignment. Rel chose pink, no big surprise there I guess." Duo rubbed at the back of his head and Heero couldn't help his snicker at Duo's confused look even though he tried to hid it by increasing his wpm. "There's a lot more to pink than I even realized. Now Mr. Cadmis isn't afraid to back up his commentary on any of the work in class; rich, powerful, demented, poor, insomniacs, pyromaniacs..." Duo shrugged, a secretive smile tugging at the corner of lips for the last,"they're all the same in his book. I appreciate the teachers who are like that at this school, but I had to stick up for Rel today."

Heero glared at the revision, "Shut up, you loud mouth baka." Heero growled, not wishing to hear about Relena or address the sudden distress he felt at the thought of Duo protecting her.

Duo smiled, putting his hands behind his head as he leaned back on the hind legs of his chair. "It's good to know that you're actually listening, Hee-chan."

Duo's smile grew at the glare he received over Heero's shoulder before the messy haired teen returned to typing on his laptop. Duo snickered quietly and then decided to continue with what had happen. "Any ways, the bastard tried to destroy her work with some paint thinner. He railed on her about her pink fetish even though her piece was mostly blue. She calls it 'October sky' and it's was the best I've ever seen her do. I wasn't the only one who backed her." Duo shook his head, lost in thought and not hearing the continuous typing his roommate was prone at doing, falter at his next words. "Heero you really oughta go see it."

"Hn." The typing began anew with a few audible clicks from the built in mouse.

Duo simmered, "Come on Hee-man. I know she has this huge ass crush on you-"

"Obsession with me." Heeero corrected in his usual monotone.

"Fine, 'Obsession,' but the girl has her upsides too. She dedicated the damn thing to you and it's not half bad."

Heero snorted. "Relena is drowning in her ideals and fantasies. I'm not going to feed into them by accepting it or showing interest in it."

"Damn, you're a cold bastard." Duo bristled covering his surprise at the truth in those words . "I wasn't asking for you to bump uglies or go down on one knee for the girl, just... to try a different approach to get her out of this- whatever the hell it is she has for you."

"Obsession." Heero dead panned.

"Whatever. She's got it bad for ya buddy and she's a pretty hot girl once you get past her umm... issues."

Heero raised a brow at that, feeling uncertain of whether Duo's sudden interest in Relena. If Duo wanted her, why was he giving him the 'Give her a chance' talk? He snorted derisively, "Fine you can go out with her then." Heero quipped, turning in his seat to see Duo go pale. He couldn't help the smile that came to his face as he continued, "You have my blessing."

Duo blinked coming out of his shock, to look at the strange expression on Heero's face. It wasn't so much as strange as his face _actually_ having an expression on it. Duo scratched the back of his neck and laughed nervously at the smile that remained on Heero's face. "Nah man, she's... pink princesses are not my type."

"And they're mine?" Heero looked aghast, feigning a look of horror and Duo laughed for real this time.

"Oh... man. No I guess not. Buddy we gotta get you to do that more often."

Heero looked at Duo quizzically and Duo just smiled back, watching him with his elbow on the desk and the side of his face resting against his fist.

After awhile Heero became annoyed when Duo wasn't forthcoming with what he meant. "What?"

"You should smile more often."

"Hn." His cheeks flushed a light red across his tanned skin, Heero turned back to his laptop and pulled out some notes from his bookbag by his seat. "Baka, do you're homework or you're going to be late for track practice."

"Yes, Mama Yuy." Duo jested with a snicker.

tbc...


	16. emulation

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and the g-boys aren't mine. I gain no profit from this fic, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin. 'nuf said.

Warnings: POV shifts, yaoi, lovey dovey stuff, angst, see first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: burgeoning 1x2, 3x4, 5xS, Solox?, minor OCxOC. . .

AN: Plot hinting, revealing stuff. Before I knew this grew colossally and I felt a bit discouraged by the store itself and my not so great writing ability but believe it or not I'm still writing it. It's not coming as easily as it had before but there are pieces of it everywhere so as the saying goes, all things in time ^_^' long chapter, scream if stuff don't make since and I'll work on it some more.

Comments/reviews appreciated.

fifteen - emulation

Earth Sphere Unified Nation (ESUN)

Trimonthly Congressional meet, 18th-20th of September 195

20th

He read the message one more time to get past the sleep dreariness of his mind before he sat it down on the dresser beside their bed. He flopped over onto his side. It was a childish echo that he regretted instantly as his body, more specifically his back, reminded him of his age. He pushed the pain away and stared at nothing. There were no real wars any more, just those fought with words in forums of political assembly. He felt like he'd been trudging through a battlefield with live ammunition crackling all around him at the onset of the summit and now he was riddled with the metaphorical holes of being one of the fallen, one of the first to go.

On the first day of the congressional meet, he'd hoped that he'd be able to promote the Agency who had been working in the background for several years now and get the Council to at least acknowledge them for the work they've done thus far. He wasn't expecting a unanimous acceptance of the agency like he had with his announcement of Total Pacifism in the Sanc Kingdom, which went down in flames with his wife cackling like a mad hatter the whole way. There was no pleasing the woman really, even though it did become a model to Pacifism after many... many amendments.

However, a peaceful day on the 18th uninterrupted by a battle of wills and choice words was merely an airy hope when acting Councilmen Winner, his Aid Treize Khushrenada and retiree/ESUN advisor Hiiroki Yuy informed him that several of their colleagues were after his seat. He ignored them in favor of continuing to kiss his wife out on the sundeck of their estate...

Well it may have been a little more than kissing but they had an hour of what they'd thought was free time between the commotion of their lives and he wanted to make good use of it. They both did. A whole hour to themselves without any interruptions, sparked a little adventuristic enthusiasm, i.e. them fumbling like caught teenagers for anything to cover their partial nudity and his _minions _somewhat amused retreat.

Who could blame them?

Obviously his minionsdid. Despite their amusement at finding them in a compromising moment, they were upset to find that he'd not provided them with a list of high profile individuals who traveled in similar circles as him. People that they thought that only he could tell were suspect, but it was ridiculous because they knew everyone he knew.

Really it was nothing new.

He supposed that was why his loyal minions went to worry the Foreign Minister, even though Darlian was a target himself. He released a heavy breath, not really noticing he had until he felt his breathe stir the fine hairs on the back of his fisted hand. He hadn't wanted to add to the Foreign Minister's concerns even if he and his minions- _Friends_. He chided himself.

His friends, they'd always be that first and foremost, had ensured Darlian's security was flawless; too tight to go after Darlian politically or in any other venue unless Darlian made an opening himself.

After his appointment to Vice Foreign Minister in '89, Yuy dissolved his position as Colony head and, in collaboration with several of the world's most influential delegates opened up a new forum where the colony representatives, dignitaries, a Foreign Minister and his Viceroy assembled to discuss, suggest, bring to issue major concerns as a unified people and work to resolve it; the ESUN.

He understood the need for his safety. He knew that his position as Viceroy if given to the wrong person and Darlian suddenly died would mean the person was practically the king of the world. He also knew his status as ruler of a prosperous, 'model' Kingdom he ran jointly with his better half gave him a stronger sway than most.

The 'who,' though, was more important now than ever. He had suspected the Bartons, as did everyone - their families had been at odds with each other for ages- but the blame always fell on the usual suspects. He'd suggested that from the start to keep an eye on them while they weeded out the others pulling the strings in the background. People who the Agency thought were responsible for the spread of Crystalis and all its derivatives... but no names could be revealed or fingers pointed without the right evidence. Darlian, the Agency and himself suspected drug warfare because any resolution to counter the addiction was instantly shot down by a new, more addictive derivative. If that was the case, then its goal was clear - to bring down the governing bodies through its subjects, and ultimately through their friends and families.

But circumstantial suspicions held little sway in the Congressional summit without the documentation, the names of main distributors, their backers and no arrests. If he voiced his suspicions, it would feed into the allegations of him abusing his position and using his status to push his inclinations on others and cause unnecessary duress among the Council.

On the 18th, the discussion and concern over the drug, its potency and irresponsible Councilmen became a nightmare when early that morning in the heat of a debate several members, including Hiiro Yuy, suddenly collapsed and went into convulsions. Before noon, the announcements of their deaths had forced the meeting to be adjourned. It was with a heavy heart that Bobby gave Treize consent to inform Minister Darlian that he would be attending the rescheduled meeting for today. Even though Darlian had sent word that the previous topics of discussion would be continued with higher security measures at an undisclosed location, if he knew his associate like he knows he does, there had to be a catch.

He groaned against his pillow and felt warm, gentle hands pushing back his tousled ear length silver hair. He had not expected, though he should've, to receive the private message he did five minutes ago. Darlian informed a select few that the meeting was to take place in the same location and the others would be told ten minutes before the meeting. He thanked him for the consideration on his behalf, despite his conflicted feelings; it was nonetheless a brilliant course of action that he could even imagine a few of the brash US representatives commending Darlian for. At least this way, the perpetrators wouldn't be expecting it or have the time to do something as underhanded as they had two days ago.

He shut his eyes against the soft linen of his pillow. He had lost a very dear friend- family was the word that described him best- that day. He wished that he could just stay in bed and pretend he was ill like Millardo had done once. The gentle hands, he'd known for most his life, brought his face up to the soft cotton gown she wore. He pressed his face to her breasts, wrapping his arms around her sweet smelling body. She didn't speak a word as he clutched at her, stroking his hair with a kiss to his brow from time to time.

He breathed deeply of her warm honey and peony scent. It made him feel light headed, as it always did and comforted him when he thought he could take no more. Times like this when he had no time to grieve and work demanded he bottle it up. Nivea reminded him that he was a man and like anyone else, a human being with limits. He sat upright, bringing her with him as he listened to the steady beat of her heart for a few moments before she pulled him up and kissed him long and deep. When they parted, he lay his head against hers and stared down at their entwined fingers.

"Bobby." The first streams of sun light spilt in through their open balcony doors as she whispered his name. The only evidence of time moving for the chamber's inhabitants was the sun's progression across their room, coming to heat his bear muscled back and gleamed where his silver hair and her long dark brown hair mingled on her bare freckled shoulder.

"Bobby." He heard her say again, it had more of a calming effect and made him want to kiss her when he envisioned his name tumbling from Nivea's lips. He realized suddenly that she would be the only one calling him that now. The other person who'd been that familiar with his name had barely been dead two days. He pressed closer to her, with her or Hiiroki, he was always free of obligations the name Robert Peacecraft held. He could just be himself.

'Maybe that's why Milliardo does it as well...' He wondered, not wanting to start the day and break away from his one respite for what would be a very long and tiresome meeting in the place he watched Hiiro- no Ki die. That was one thing neither Kei nor Duke could correct him on; he'd always called Hiiroki 'Ki' or 'Hiiro', but mostly Ki. He guessed he was the reason why Ki only used 'Hiiro' out in public and political settings.

'Hindsight…' he smiled in bemusement, a dark chuckle slipping past his lips. It didn't get the chance to become the sob it wanted to when Nivea squashed him to her breasts. Bobby laughed even as tears slipped from beneath his pale lashes. He wrapped his arms around her significant waist and sighed at the feel of her hands working on his aching shoulders. He often left the kingdom in her capable hands when he attended these meetings. He always dreaded how they would take him half way around the world, off world on some occasions, for he had no strength at the end of them and came home to her like a vampire in fear of death.

They balanced each other and many believed that was why their reign had brought them such prosperity. But if they took the time to ask him, which they seldom did, he would have told them that her bad manners, horrible French and twisted morals was what made the kingdom. Though it felt like a lifetime ago when they first met, her rambunctious, wild child former self could be clearly seen in their oldest. Milliardo understood the people and he hoped he would succeed him to the throne.

He exhaled heavily. They had left it open for either of their children to take his place as ruler, but they both knew it was a job for two. Well, maybe he was underestimating them like Nivea often accused him of doing but he felt strongly that his little girl wasn't ready. She was her father's daughter, very forthright and astute with a myopic sense of the world. She loved going to the political functions and holding discussions with his colleagues and her cohorts. Her innocence and idealism had an contagious quality that drew people to her and that natural magnetism in itself was promising.

He just hoped... A moan escaped with his next breath as his wife's hands pressed down hard, her fingers working the stiff muscles where his neck met his shoulders 'til they relaxed under touch. He laid his head against her and heard her chuckle at his contented hum as she worked another knotted muscle loose, her fingers moving in a semi-constant circular motion. She elicited another moan from him and he squeezed, regretting he'd have to leave her at all today. They both hoped that their daughter survived whatever may come and pop the little ideal bubble she lived in.

- - - xXxXxXx- - -

In the National Assembly building at Wales, the distressed murmur from its occupants grew as the uniformed officers who had evacuated them from the room a few days ago, left the Chamber. Many of them shifted around in their seats, stealing nervous glances at the exits as they recalled the heated discussion between Dermail and Yuy over some representatives who qualifications needed to be re-evaluated because they spent more time sphere side than on the colony they represented.

It was a valid point: politicians who were Earth-bound wouldn't truly be able to resolve space-side problems, especially if they never put forth the effort in understanding the cause without proper investigation. Treize took his seat next to the silent king who looked immaculate in his white dress shirt and tailored dark gray pin-stripped vest with matching pants. Treize watched as Peacecraft moved mechanically through the motions of laying out his briefcase, pushing a side his cooling cup of cappuccino, which he'd never seen him take more than a few sips from and take out a thick stack of portfolios.

Peacecraft's face remained a placid mask of business, his hands belied his true feelings as they shook over a dossier. It was the one Councilman Yuy held in his hand while everyone watched a stream of blood run from his nose and down his face. This, indeed, was the blunt point they needed to get it through to the other members how much their joint cooperation, and involvement with their colonies affected the group as a whole. He closed his eyes against the memory as he smiled sadly at the rust colored specks that flaked beneath his fingertips.

Peacecraft took in the beautifully designed relic overlooking Cardiff Bay, the meeting room's funnel shape and where he sat directly across from Darlian who sat in the presiding officers' place. Peacecraft allowed himself a small sardonic smile, "When you think about it, after all the battles have been fought and the losses tallied, it's the architecture that seems to withstand the tests of time here. Or at least what's left of it."

Trieze gave the King a thoughtful look, leaned over to his ear with a serious line thinning his pale lips, "You haven't been listening in on my lectures, have you sir?"

Peacecraft coughed to cover his growing smile, though he'd been tempted by his daughter's praise of him - he hadn't, though he didn't refute his protégé's accusation.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we greatly appreciate your dedication to the ESUN for returning to help work toward a resolution for this grave issue." Foreign Minister Darlian stated opening up the floor for the other Council members.

Clearing his throat, Dekim Barton stood before the Council, a graying man of sixty-three with a neatly trimmed mustache, dimpled, square chin and sharply lined face - he bobbed his head in greeting. He took in the room before lowering his eyes, keeping his appearance solemn even as he glanced at Peacecraft and looked as though he was struggling with something. "The matter of most importance here is not the trivial issue of evaluations," his tone was mournful and a bit bitter.

Peacecraft raised a brow at that, he knew what Barton surely did. If the Committee approved, Barton would be one of the main people being investigated.

"The illegal traffic of Crystalis," Barton flipped through the portfolio before him as if confirming something within its printed pages, "has almost reached epidemic levels, spreading with the dehabilitating cases of addiction. A threat this large scale, without any foreseeable forms of treat takes precedent. I need not voice the implications here. My question to you, my associates, is why has little been done? Where is there news of actions being taken to put an end to this?" Barton stated haughtily, staring confidently at him.

Trieze shook his head, 'Since when did the weight of such things fall solely on the shoulders of his kingdom? When did this become an inquisition?' The question was rhetorical he knew but he couldn't help but think about it. People looked to the countries with economic success to model their own after, even though Peacecraft renounced his title as king in Council meetings so no one would be inclined to push his title into any of the issues they discussed. But that didn't stop it from coming up from time to time or his country being put under a microscope, like now.

"I'm not speaking on behalf of my colony, but am merely making an observation. It's clear to many of the Council members here,_Viceroy _Peacecraft, that as king of the Sanc Kingdom you've too many responsibilities to deal with the growing incidents concerning Crystalis. Barton did well to hold the sincere look on his face as the affirming murmur amongst the Council grew in volume. Barton sent a quick glance over to Councilman Dermail as he took his seat again, pleased with the response and Dermail's faint of nod of acknowledgement.

"Or could it be that the trifles of lesser nations are not of great concern to you since it has yet to afflict your kingdom." Peacecraft quirked his brow in surprise, Christi Darlian was known for her impartiality and shrewdness regarding any subject. An echo of her husband's influence but spoke of what everyone's thoughts and the facts pointed at when their colleagues skirted around the issue.

"Blunt and tactless as usual." Peacecraft grumbled under his breath, catching the eye of his Council Aid Khushrenada. He dismissed his aid concern with a small twitch of his lips. In the arena of politics he knew it was better to keep one's thoughts to one's self or least they be misinterpreted. Peacecraft hid his amusement at catching Darlian glance at his Aid and not to the Foreign Minister. He wouldn't defer to him either while under the weighty gaze of the Council and add to the gossip that skewered him over the fire in the first place.

'Christi always did like butting heads with him especially around his wife.' Treize heard Peacecraft's heavy sighed and placed a consoling hand of his shoulder. He was tempted to suggest that he take his place. All things considered, with Darlin taking pot-shots at him in front of the Council, he wondered if Peacecraft considered going home to wife as well.

Treize watched as Barton smiled at the King's silent conjecture. Although it was clear to all around him, how distressed Peacecraft was due to the loss of his childhood companion, it was a prime opportunity for people like him to impress upon the Council to question Peacecraft's position. Treize gaze swept over the room then back to Peacecraft, who set passively, his face an implacable mask of calm earlier when Barton dragged him through the dirt. Treize glanced over to his Uncle sitting soberly on the other side of the room with his eyes lowered and his forehead braced against his interlaced fingers, seemingly oblivious to the whipping his childhood friend, Peacecraft, was being subjected to. Again, that was understandable because growing up he had always seen the three older men involved in something together: his uncle -Duke Dermail, Heeroki Yuy and Robert Peacecraft. But still, if it were Zechs, he wouldn't be able to sit by and let this continue. He shifted his gaze to Minister Darlian who looked on the verge of calling an end to the summit when Peacecraft stood. Treize stood in awe of the presence the elder Peacecraft exuded. It was the same presence Zechs possessed and he was sure would gain magnitude as he grew older.

"I promise you my lack of response in the face of such an issue with my Kingdom, is not due to my inability to continue with this discourse. You're all aware of what has happen, and I'm sure we feel the strain, some of us more than others, over the lost of our colleagues and family in and outside of these proceedings." Treize watched Peacecraft send a blue ice speckled glance in Barton's general direction without looking at him, but from the flinch Barton attempted to conceal with the shuffle of the papers he held in his hand told him he had received the message. "I assure you progress is being made. Thanks to the Preventers, we were able to determine the main trafficking areas and they've arrested several main stream distributors."

"But no names of the backers? Or of the creators of this mess?" Mrs. Darlian's short and decisive questions cut through the commotion in the meeting room over the law enforcement agency that they had skeptically approved earlier on.

Treize was reassured by the playful smirk Peacecraft gave her in lieu of his answer. Treize let a small one of his own breech the calm disquietude that had settled on his face, Mrs. Darlian had been one of their main supporters in the formation of the Preventers and knew she wasn't trying to depreciate their work. "They are working on that as we speak, and believe me when I say that my Kingdom has suffered it's own losses. It's out there being peddled under our noses like in any other place. I understand your frustrations because we're dealing with them as well. So we don't have the answers you seek, but together we can discover it. On-"

Treize lifted a forked brow when Peacecraft stumbled, although brief, he noticed it and knew the older man must have come across some memory of Yuy. He felt his admiration grow when Peacecraft pushed past it and continued, his tone unwavering.

"Earlier on, you received a list of the areas where the agency's been monitoring traffic," he took his seat, pulling out a dossier from beneath several others as he put on his reading glasses.

"Shall we begin with L2," he said glancing over the reports and considering what the L2 representatives suggested as a course action.

Duke saw his nephew move to sit next to Peacecraft and swallowed his distaste as easily as he ignored Barton's other looks. His cohort was a fanatic about his family's position in all of this, an idiot he'd say that had his uses. He skimmed over a request that the Council implement an embargo of sorts to attempt to control the drug trafficking from the L2 colonies. He rested his hand over the right side of his head, covering the quirk of his lips at the dossier.

'Desperate little men,' he wrenched the quirk in his lips down, he didn't want to compromise his facade. The embargo would only make things easier for him and make more subjects for his experiment. He kept his head lowered over the dossier, quieting his chuckle as he taped at a list of names on his PDA. It was amazing what one could get away with in the midst of one's adversaries. He had to work at keeping that smile hidden. A smile at a time like this, with all that had, would make people suspicious. He was so far under the radar, that they'd never think him suspect or it possible that he was planning the kidnap of their children and their downfall right in front of faces.

'Yuy's gone, finally!' He was glad that Peacecraft stayed true to his early morning coffee practice. Otherwise, it'd been pointless to continue if he had a change of heart and decided on a drug laced cup of water.

Duke glanced up at his nephew, his face instantly loosing all its previous lines of barely restrained amusement and becoming a perfect mask of mourning. His eyes flitted over to Barton once more, he'd considered using Mariemaim just to get at the annoyingly weak man but there wasn't much point in taking Barton's progeny away or his own brother's. He'd spare Barton that one mercy before he went up in flames.

'The best laid plans,' he smiled, hesitating over a name on his list. He taped it with his stylus and an image of a scowling boy with piercing blue eyes met him. He nearly dropped his stylus as he unchecked the name. He was next on the pick up list, scanning several names that had already been crossed out. 'Even after you're death you still stand in my way,' he thought angrily then shook his head. This was a boy he'd met in one of Dorothy's classes. The boy's intense eyes had shock value a long with his name but that was where the resemblance ended. He raised his head completely, sitting back and staring openly at Peacecraft. Rolling his stylus between his thumb and index finger, he decided that he'd have Quin make a special pick up.

Among the L2 representatives, one dignitary started at the suggestions in the dossier. The raven haired representative reached over and took another copy from the stack Senator Ross, the tallest of his associates with mousy blond hair, had coveted to his side of the desk.

"What?" He whispered tersely, it was the same proposal no matter how many times he read it. None of the recommendations they had agreed on were included and the very thing they had all agreed as an excessive course of action was listed as the main resolution. "An embargo?" The unexpectedness of it all let the word spelled out in his mind be audible through a tight whisper that drew the attention of the Senator next to him and several Councilmen behind him. The dossier entreated the Council to only place the embargo on the colonies in their sector where the drug trafficking was greatest but those were the most impoverished and poverty ridden colonies in their sector.

"You're saying that this is what the Preventers have discovered in the L2 colonies?" Mrs. Darlian interjected over the murmur of agreement. It annoyed her that so many were willing to concede the proposal without questioning it, just to be done with the issue. She relaxed a little at the sight of Treize speaking quietly with Peacecraft.

"Yes, Madame. If you take a look at these updated reports you'll see why such a request has been made." Senator Ross gestured to one of the other L2 associates to distribute the report when his raven haired associate snatched them back across the desk. "Mr. Shales!"

Mrs. Darlian, Peacecraft and several other members' gazes settled on the cubicle seating the L2 representatives. Councilman Shales looked bewilderedly at his associates. An expression of disgust settled on his face when his associates gave him a level, quiet look. The raven haired man eyes panned the room, coming to stand aghast when many of the Council members regarded him blankly or discounted him and returned their attention to the dossier.

Councilman Shales gripped the reports, well aware of the devastation these two sheets of paper would cause their colonists. His gray eyes spied his associates once more and he noticed that they were looking rather pleased. Maybe he was an idealist, but he believed in equality among the colonies and not the sacrifice of the weak for the personal gain of others. He bit his lip, he had lost his son to his wife in the custody hearing when they'd finalized their divorce because of his commitment to his work, spent too many days in the L2 cluster and not enough at home with them. But he couldn't hold his tongue on this even if it cost him his position.

"You seriously can't be considering placing such tariffs and embargos on those colonies? It would kill those people!" Shales voice grew as his hands shook.

"There's no need to respond with such theatrics, surely you can see the sensibl-"

Senator Ross shushed his colleague and in a lower voice and appealed to their incensed colleague. "Councilman Shales, there is a time and place for this discussion, right now is not that time. We will discuss-"

"Like there was a time and a place for this," he held up the parchment and watched his L2 associates stare back at him evenly. 'So that's how it is,' he thought bitterly, crumpling up the reports in his hand when his hands dropped down out of sight. They excluded him and made all his work for nothing. The loss of his family, his son... He'd say his piece then start spending the remainder of his stay with his son, even if his son wouldn't want to see him.

He took a deep breath and faced the Council, "Pardon me, I'm sorry to speak out of turn."

"By all means do speak your mind, Councilman, this is not a dictatorship." Foreign Minister Darlian jested, giving the douse a critical eye as the background filled jitters of laughter.

"Yes, yes. Let the young man have his say," an older man with graying hair cut to his hairline and a peppered goatee added with a smile that shown clearly in his kindly eyes. "Francis Bacon's dictum that 'truth emerges more readily from error than from confusion' rears its head in more ways than one." He said sagely, his own hands moving in a frantic scribble to capture his words.

Councilman Shales nodded his thanks, remembering how his age and that of Khushrenada's was a source of amusement for the elder members of the Council. He tried to steady his rapidly beating heart to no avail. "Ladies and gentlemen surly you can see the error in such restrictions," he reached over, grabbing another report and holding it up in one hand while he flicked it with the other, "this points the finger solely at the poorest of our colonies."

He sent a glare at the other two representatives from the L2 cluster and not for the first time wondered if he was alone in this, "This would be the death of them within a years' time. It is only because of the ESUN's aid reforms that trade for them has increased and become equalized. There has to be another way, perhaps a surveillance of the exports, an audit on passenger manifests to track and/or determine who frequents and why, check points on shipments-"

"All expenses that we can't possibly afford or demand such a taxing expense of our Council brethren for _our _colony alone." Senator Ross smiled, showing his perfect square white teeth before patting the incensed man's shoulder. "Luke-"

"Lucian."

"Lucian, listen to reason and call off this unnecessary debate for when we can look over our papers and have the accou-"

"Unnecessary?! You both didn't even bother to ask my opinion on this _proposal_, like that would've matter any way. Why do you suddenly think that I'd let you pull one over on the Council and the people we're supposed to be representing?"

"Senator Ross, how can you stand there and let him slander us. This is outrageous! You have no ground or basis for your allegations. This is a matter best settled in private-"

"No allegations if there's reason to believe you've been pocketing money outside of the finances you've reported."

"How dare you accuse-"

"Gentlemen that will be enough." Viceroy Peacecraft broke in, ignoring Darlian's slightly pouty look his way as if saying 'it was just about to get interesting.' "Clearly the actions suggested by Councilman Shales should be looked at."

Mrs. Darlian looked to her husband and gave him an encouraging but stern smile as she return her attention to the room, tucking the note in with L2 proposal.

Mr. Darlian nodded, tapping on his PDA, "An investigative team," he said, adjusting his spectacles and peered at the screen, "a Preventer's special unit has been assigned to verify the information of these documents and to look over reports from their field agents. They are also on their way to your offices." The two men next to Shales visibly paled and Darlian arched a brow at them, "if there are no objections?"

"No, of course not, Sir." Sentor Ross said calmly although the sweat on his brow betrayed that calm. He wiped his brow and glared at Shales.

Mrs. Darlian cleared her throat, "On to the next issue on our agenda."

tbc...


End file.
